13 Ghosts
From Wikiquote
13 Ghosts is a 1960 horror film that takes place at an inherited haunted house.
- Directed by William Castle and written by Robb White.
After the lawyer gets sliced into two pieces by sliding glass doors:
Q: Where's the lawyer? A: He split.
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Raftkin: I'm getting my ass out of a big glass house!
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Raftkin: In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a freak! I get within 10 feet of anything dead, and I go into seizures. I touch anyone and a whole lifetime of shit just flashes in front of my eyes! So yeah, I'm a little depraved!
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Maggie: This is it for me. I'm on the first fuckin' plane back to Newark. Uh-uh. I am sorry, family, Kathy, Bobby, uncle , ghosts. I am sick of this nanny shit. I've had it. This was not in the job description. I QUIT!
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Dennis Rafkin: [Dennis notices multiple of the ectoplasmic doors are open] What the hell? Give me those!
[Dennis takes Maggie's glasses]
Dennis Rafkin: Let me see. Why are these open? I was down here before. They weren't open.
[the Hammer spikes the ectoplasmic wall frame with his hammer]
Dennis Rafkin: Oh, God! I hate it when they do that!
Maggie: Do what?
Dennis Rafkin: They wait for your to stick your FACE right up against the glass! And then give you a big, fat "boo"!
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Raftkin: Oh. Oh boy.
Maggie: What?
Raftkin: Uh, that's the symbol of The Jackal.
Maggie: What's The Jackal?
Raftkin: The Jackal is the Charlie Manson of ghosts. And if The Jackal's out, screw the kid! We gotta get out of this basement!
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Maggie: [The Angry Princess walks toward Maggie with a butcher knife] Where? I can't see shit without the glasses, idiot!
Raftkin:...Well, I can see. And I think you should go this way. Go, go, go, go!
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Kalina: We have 10 minutes until te ectoplasmic shit hits the fan.
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Raftkin: [Arthur is starting to decend down the steps to the basement] What are you doing? What did I say? Did I say there's a petting zoo downstairs? Nooo, there are ghosts downstairs, Arthur.
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Raftkin: There are ghosts in the basement!
Maggie: This basment?
Raftkin: Of course this basement! What is with you people? If it was the basement next door I wouldn't give a shit, would I?
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Raftkin: [Rafkin psychically probes the junkyard, then yells out in pain] You son of a bitch! You said he only killed 9 people! There's over 40 victims here!
Cyrus: Nine when he was alive, he's added a few since then.
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Maggie: [in background talking to herself] Stuck in here, bunch of crazy white people...
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Kalina: Who are you to play god?
Cyrus: Playing is for children.
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Maggie: Bobby,don't call your sister a slut.
Kathy: Thank you, Maggie.
Maggie: I prefer the term 'bitch'.
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Arthur: He wasn't too popular. My dad said he squandered the family fortune.
Kathy: We have a family fortune?
Arthur: Well, no. Cyrus squandered it.
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Maggie: Hey Bobby, isn't that great? You got a late uncle.
Bobby: What's he late for?
Kathy: His next birthday.
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Raftkin: I know this is gonna sound completely whacked, but just- just stay with me, okay? I used to hunt displaced spirtual energies with your uncle.
Arthur: I'm sorry?
Raftkin: Uhh, P.K. agents. Revenants. Uh, uh, uh - Like wraiths. Wraiths? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?
Arthur: [chuckling nervously and shaking his head "No"] Uhh...
Raftkin: That's okay - that's okay. I'll do it the easy way. Ghosts. I used to hunt ghosts with your uncle Cyrus.
Arthur: [After a long pause] Goats?
Raftkin: GHOSTS! Ghosts! Goddamnit, listen to me!
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Arthur: I told them not to leave this spot.
Raftkin: What do you expect? They're kids.
Arthur: Well thank you, Dr. Phil.
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Raftkin: Hey Glass Family Robinson! You're wasting your breath! This is ectobar glass, it's soundproof.
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Raftkin: Oh Cyrus, you crazy son of a bitch. What did you do?
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- Raftkin: I hate this job.
Kalina: It doesn't seem to like you much either. Wonder why.
Raftkin: If you have something to say, just say it.
Kalina: Oh okay then...why don't we start with: THIS IS ALL YOUR GODDAMN FAULT! If you didn't catch them we wouldn't be running from them!
Raftkin: It's his uncle that built the damn house!
Kalina: Yeah, but you helped him! How could you help him without knowing what he was doing?
Raftkin: I had my reasons.
Kalina: Money, you parasite! You stole people's souls for money. How depraved is that?
Rafkin: If you hadn't noticed. I'm a little bit of a freak! I come within ten feet of anything dead I go into seizures. I touch somebody and a whole life full of shit flashes in front of my eyes; alright so yeah I'm depraved and Cyrus was my friend and he accepted me so...
Kalina: He did't accept you, you're so pathetic! He used you!
Arthur: Shut up, both of you. Cut him some slack. What difference does it make?
Kalina: You didn't tell him, did you?
Arthur: Oh god, tell me what, what now?
Kalina: About the fourth ghost.
Raftkin: No, don't do this. I didn't tell him. Don't do this.
Kalina: He has a right to know!
Raftkin: What about the fourth ghost?
Kalina: St. Luke's hospital, six months ago.
Arthur: You're saying my wife's spirit is trapped in this house?
Raftkin: I didn't know you. I didn't know her. I didn't know she had a husband.
Arthur: Why in God's name? Why? Tell me why her!
Raftkin: I don't know why. Cyrus handpicked them all, including your wife. When I found out who you were, God, I've been trying to help you.
Arthur: You call this help? She's right, this is all your goddamn fault!
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Ben Moss: Now he's gonna tell you that Cyrus owed him money.
Raftkin: He did owe me money. HE OWED ME A SHITLOAD OF MONEY!