ALF
From Wikiquote
ALF (1986–1990) is the name of a popular TV sitcom series produced by NBC, inspired by and spoofing the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982). It first aired September 22, 1986. It is about a furry alien survivor from Melmac, a nuclear exploded planet, whose spaceship crushes into the garage of an average American family. They then let him live in their house and try to hide him from their nosy neighbors and the rest of the world. This wise cracking alien makes it hard by being adventurous and always looking to have a good time (and trying to catch the family's tasty cat...).
Contents |
[edit] Season 1
[edit] A.L.F.
- Brian: Do you get Sesame Street where you live?
- ALF: No, and frankly, I don't get it here, either.
- Woman on T.V.: If you said, "It was the cow riding on the subway", you're absolutely right!
[sound of cans opening, Alf and Brian come out with two cans of something in their hand]
- Kate: I said no soda pop.
- Brian: It's not soda pop, it's beer.
- ALF: [burps] You're about out of Coors!
- Kate: What!? (grunts) Give those to me!
- ALF: Hey, hey, careful his is still full!
(Kate puts beer cans on the television)
- Kate: Now, you just listen to me, ALF! I will not allow this kind of behavior in my house! This boy, is only six years old, he is not to drink beer, and you are not drink beer, and I don't know what it's like on...Mork, or whatever planet you come from, but....
- ALF: Melmac.
- Kate: What?
[first line of the first episode] Willie Tanner: [voice-over] This is the way it began, that extraordinary night. The night he came.
- ALF: [picking up Willie's glasses] Yeah, what is it about this Lash that you don't like?
- Willie: Lash? How do you know about Lash?
- ALF: Well, Lynn and I were talking last night and she seems to feel- [tries on Willie's glasses] Jeez, you're blind as a bat, aren't you?
[edit] Strangers in the Night
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
- ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. He came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me: Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him. I was scared stiff, but I realized I had to do something; I realized I was the man of the house. [on screen, addressing burglar] Excuse me? Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
- Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
- ALF: Oh, yeah!? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box!?
[Burglar screams in shock and jumps out the window]
[edit] Season 2
[edit] I'm Your Puppet
- ALF: Hey, I saw one of these guys on TV, he was hillarious!
- ALF: I think I'll call him Paul.
- Lynn: Paul? That's not a goofy name.
- Brian: Hey, ALF. What are you doing?
- ALF: I'm running away from home.
- Paul: Oh, great. Tell the whole world.
- Brian: Why are you running away?
- Paul: None of your business! [laughs]
- Brian: I'm gonna tell Dad! [he runs away tattling to Willie]
- ALF: Hey, why were you lying to Brian like that? [Paul hits him] Ow, don't hit me!
- Paul: Shut up and keep tacking.
- Paul: Give me some nuts.
- ALF: But I don't want any nuts.
- Paul: I do! [ALF gives him some nuts; he crushes them with his head]
- ALF: Paul, you said you were my friend.
- Paul: I lied.
- ALF: Say "goodbye", dummy!
- Paul: Goodbye, dummy! [ALF throws him on the floor]
[edit] Season 3
[edit] Fight Back
- ALF: If Lynn starts humming the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," I'm pulling the plug on this production!
- ALF: Hey, I wonder if Horrowitz is going to fight back against the man who gave him that suit!
- [[Willie is working on his car but bumps his head on the hood when ALF honks the horn.]
- ALF: Horn works!
- Willie: Thank you.
- ALF: Why don't we just kill this thing for the insurance money? We'll make it look like an accident!
[edit] Running Scared
- ALF: [after getting the call from the blackmailer and trying to calm down] Don't panic Willie will help you. He always helps you. [looks at mess] I'm dogfood!
- Kate: Willie, have you noticed that ALF's been acting rather strange lately?
- Willie: Yeah, going on three years now.
- Kate: No, I mean about last night when he apologized for every bad thing he's done since he got here. Alphabetically.
- Willie: Oh. I got lost in between drain cloggage and drywall damage.
- Kate: Then I guess you missed the part where he confessed to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby!
- [Willie reacts, then there's a knock on the door.]
- Trevor: [off-camera from outside] Hey, Tanners! It's me!
- [Willie opens the door.]
- Willie: Morning.
- Trevor: Good morning. I'll take it.
- Kate: Take what?
- Trevor: Your house! [He holds up a sign he found on the front yard.]
- Willie: [reading sign] House for sale? $4,000! You found that on our lawn?
- Trevor: Yeah! I can let you have $100 up front if you'll finance the rest.
- Willie: No. I mean, we're not selling the house.
- Kate: Someone must've put that on our lawn as a kind of prank.
- Trevor: Oh, too bad. This placew would've made a nice summer home for me and Raquel. [closes door and walks away disappointed]
[edit] Season 4
[edit] Live and Let Die
- [At the cat Lucky's funeral]
- ALF: Where I'm from, this is ludicrous. It's like having a funeral for a hamburger.
[edit] Cast
- Paul Fusco - ALF
- Max Wright - Willie Tanner
- Anne Schedeen - Kate Tanner
- Andrea Elson - Lynn Tanner
- Benji Gregory - Brian Tanner
[edit] External links
- ALF TV | The Official Unofficial ALF Fan Site!
- "ALF" quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- ALF at TV.com
