Abstinence

And she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains ~ Jephthah's daughter

Bear and forbear ~ Epictetus

Abstinence is a voluntary forbearance from indulging a desire or appetite for certain bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to abstention from sexual intercourse, alcohol, or types of food.

Quotes

I'm against abstinence programs because I really consider "abstinence only" child abuse. ~ Joycelyn Elders

We tell people not to drink and drive. We don't teach them not to drive. ... We would never withhold information about seat belts because they wouldn't know how to protect themselves. ~ Laura Lindberg

• To preach fidelity and abstinence assumes that a woman can determine with whom she sleeps and when—a grave misunderstanding of the relations between the sexes in places where women are sometimes betrothed at birth or sold for cattle.
  • Marcella Alsan, "The Church & AIDS in Africa: Condoms & the Culture of Life", Commonweal: A Review of Religion, Politics, and Culture, vol. 133, no. 8 (April 2006)

• Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
• Variant: To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
  • Augustine of Hippo, as quoted in The New Webster's Dictionary of Quotations (1991), p. 2; The Little Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (2005), p. 270

• ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  • Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1911).

• When I started, someone told me that you should be with a lover the night before so you look all secure and soft out there. But for downhill you should reserve your strength. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've heard. You need to be loose in sports to do well, not all knotted up.
  • Suzy Chaffee, as quoted in Women & Sports (1979) by Janice Kaplan.

• [T]he only lawful method of avoiding parenthood is abstinence, either total or periodic. Every intelligent person will see how different is this type of 'birth control' – if one wishes to call it such – from the use of a contraceptive. One is the non-use of a faculty, the other is its abuse.
  • Father Francis J. Connell, “Birth Control: The Case for the Catholic”, The Atlantic (October 1939)

• I'm against abstinence programs because I really consider "abstinence only" child abuse.
  • Joycelyn Elders, Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, "Abstinence"

• We tell people not to drink and drive. We don't teach them not to drive. ... We would never withhold information about seat belts because they wouldn't know how to protect themselves.
  • Laura Linderberg, as quoted in Sarah McCammon, “Abstinence-Only Education Is Ineffective And Unethical, Report Argues”, NPR (August 23, 2017)

• The perfect victory is to triumph over ourselves. For that keepeth himself subject in such sort that his sensual affections be obedient to reason, and his reason in all things obedient to Me; that person is truly conqueror of himself, and lord of the world.
  • Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ (c. 1418–1427)
  • The Complete Guide to Christian Quotations (2011), p. 7

• My experience through life has convinced me that while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard to morals and health.
  • Robert E. Lee, letter to the students of Washington College, Virginia, December 9, 1869. From Life and Letters of Lee, by J. William Jones (1906), p. 442

• There is a mainstream sex ed and there is right-wing sex ed. But there is no left-wing sex education in America.
  • Leslie Kantor in 1997, as quoted in Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (2002), Judith Levine, forward by Joycelyn Elders, University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis, ISBN 0816640068 No-Sex Education, p. 93 [1]

• When asked a few years ago why her new curriculum's title now prominently featured the word abstinence, a progressive sex educator (who has herself worked to build a dike against the deluge of abstinence ed) said, "Because it is one way teens can choose to deal with sex." Her interlocutor, a saber-tongued sex therapist, replied, "Right. So's suicide." Abstinence education is not practical. It is ideological.
  • Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (2002), Judith Levine, forward by Joycelyn Elders, University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis, ISBN 0816640068 No-Sex Education, p. 93-94 [2]

• Est virtus placitis abstinuisse bonis.
• 'Tis virtue to abstain from things that please.
  • Ovid, Heroides, XVII, 98
  • Classical and Foreign Quotations, 3rd ed. (1904), no. 695

• Ἀνέχου και ἀπέχου.
• Sustine et abstine.
• Bear and forbear.
  • Stoic maxim, attributed by Arrian to Epictetus

• Self denial is not a virtue: it is only the effect of prudence on rascality.
  • George Bernard Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists", Man and Superman (1903).

• Usez, n'abusez point […] L'abstinence ou l'excès ne fit jamais d'heureux.
  • Translation: Use, do not abuse […] Neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
  • Voltaire, "Cinquième discours: sur la nature de plaisir", Sept Discours en Vers sur l'Homme (1738).

• The moon, methinks, looks with a wat’ry eye,
  And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
  Lamenting some enforcèd chastity.
  • Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream, III, i, 192–4

Bible

• And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.
  But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand;
  There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?
  And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.
  • Genesis 39:7-10 (KJV)
  • Potiphar's wife

• Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
  • Proverbs 31:30 (KJV)

• And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,
  Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
  So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands.
  And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.
  And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.
  And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.
  And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.
  And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows.
  And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.
  And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel,
  That the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year.
  • Judges 11:30–39 (KJV)
  • Jephthah's daughter

• All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
  • Matthew 19:11-12 (KJV)

• Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
  • Romans 13:13 (KJV)

• Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV)

• What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
  • 1 Corinthians 6:19 (KJV)

• Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
  • 1 Corinthians 7:2 (KJV)

• There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV)

• And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.
  • 2 Corinthians 12:21 (KJV)

• Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
  Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
  • Galatians 5:19-21 (KJV)

• Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
  • Colossians 3:5 (KJV)

• For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (KJV)

• Abstain from all appearance of evil.
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV)

• Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
  • 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)

• Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
  • Hebrews 13:4 (KJV)

• Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
  • 1 Peter 2:11 (KJV)

• Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
  • Jude 1:7 (KJV)

Quran

• Those who forswear their wives must wait four months; then, if they change their mind, lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
  • Surah 2 (Al-Baqara), 226 (Pickthall)

• Whoso (of the guardians) is rich, let him abstain generously (from taking of the property of orphans); and whoso is poor let him take thereof in reason (for his guardianship).
  • Surah 4 (An-Nisa), 6 (Pickthall)

• I asked of him an evil act, but he proved continent.
  • Surah 12 (Yusuf), 32 (Pickthall)
  • Potiphar's wife could not seduce Joseph

• And let those who cannot find a match keep chaste till Allah give them independence by His grace. And such of your slaves as seek a writing (of emancipation), write it for them if ye are aware of aught of good in them, and bestow upon them of the wealth of Allah which He hath bestowed upon you. Force not your slave-girls to whoredom that ye may seek enjoyment of the life of the world, if they would preserve their chastity. And if one force them, then (unto them), after their compulsion, lo! Allah will be Forgiving, Merciful.
  • Surah 24 (An-Nur), 33 (Pickthall)

See also

• Asceticism
• Celibacy
• Sobriety
• Temperance
• Virginity
• Purity
• Poverty
• Silence
• Pacifism
• Isolation
• Diet
• Fasting

• Indulgence
• Addiction
• Ignorance