Adventure Time is an American animated TV series created by Pendleton Ward. It follows the bizarre adventures of a young hero named Finn and his magical dog named Jake. The season premièred on April 5, 2010.
- 1 Season 1
- 1.1 Slumber Party Panic (1a)
- 1.2 Trouble in Lumpy Space (1b)
- 1.3 Prisoners of Love (2a)
- 1.4 Tree Trunks (2b)
- 1.5 The Enchiridion! (3a)
- 1.6 The Jiggler (3b)
- 1.7 Ricardio the Heart Guy (4a)
- 1.8 Business Time (4b)
- 1.9 My Two Favorite People (5a)
- 1.10 Memories of Boom Boom Mountain (5b)
- 1.11 Wizard (6a)
- 1.12 Evicted! (6b)
- 1.13 City of Thieves (7a)
- 1.14 The Witch's Garden (7b)
- 1.15 What is Life? (8a)
- 1.16 Ocean of Fear (8b)
- 1.17 When Wedding Bells Thaw (9a)
- 1.18 Freak City (9b)
- 1.19 Henchman (10a)
- 1.20 Dungeon (10b)
- 1.21 The Duke (11a)
- 1.22 Donny (11b)
- 1.23 Rainy Day Daydream (12a)
- 1.24 What Have You Done? (12b)
- 1.25 His Hero (13a)
- 1.26 Gut Grinder (13b)
- 2 Season 2
- 2.1 It Came from the Nightosphere (1a)
- 2.2 The Eyes (1b)
- 2.3 Loyalty to the King (2a)
- 2.4 Blood Under the Skin (2b)
- 2.5 Storytelling (3a)
- 2.6 Slow Love (3b)
- 2.7 Power Animal (4a)
- 2.8 Crystals Have Power (4b)
- 2.9 The Other Tarts (5a)
- 2.10 To Cut a Woman's Hair (5b)
- 2.11 The Chamber of Frozen Blades (6a)
- 2.12 Her Parents (6b)
- 2.13 The Pods (7a)
- 2.14 The Silent King (7b)
- 2.15 The Real You (8a)
- 2.16 Guardians of Sunshine (8b)
- 2.17 Death in Bloom (9a)
- 2.18 Susan Strong (9b)
- 2.19 Mystery Train (10a)
- 2.20 Go with Me (10b)
- 2.21 Belly of the Beast (11a)
- 2.22 The Limit (11b)
- 2.23 Video Makers (12a)
- 2.24 Heat Signature (12b)
- 2.25 Mortal Folly (13a)
- 2.26 Mortal Recoil (13b)
- 3 Season 3
- 3.1 Conquest of Cuteness (1a)
- 3.2 Morituri Te Salutamus (1b)
- 3.3 Memory of a Memory (2a)
- 3.4 Hitman (2b)
- 3.5 Too Young (3a)
- 3.6 The Monster (3b)
- 3.7 Still (4a)
- 3.8 Fionna and Cake (5a)
- 3.9 What Was Missing (5b)
- 3.10 The Creeps (6b)
- 3.11 From Bad to Worse (7a)
- 3.12 Jake vs. Me-Mow (8b)
- 3.13 Holly Jolly Secrets Part I (10a)
- 3.14 Holly Jolly Secrets Part II (10b)
- 3.15 Dad's Dungeon (13a)
- 3.16 Incendium (13b)
- 4 Season 4
- 5 Season 5
- 5.1 Finn the Human (1a)
- 5.2 Jake the Dog (1b)
- 5.3 Five More Short Graybles (2a)
- 5.4 Up a Tree (2b)
- 5.5 All the Little People (3a)
- 5.6 Jake the Dad (3b)
- 5.7 Mystery Dungeon (4b)
- 5.8 Bad Little Boy (6a)
- 5.9 Vault of Bones (6b)
- 5.10 Simon & Marcy (7b)
- 5.11 Wizards Only, Fools (13b)
- 5.12 Sky Witch (15a)
- 5.13 Frost & Fire (15b)
- 6 External Links
Slumber Party Panic (1a)
- Bubblegum: Finn, the Candy People can't know about the zombies!
- Finn: WHA??
- Bubblegum: If they knew, they would flip out!
- Finn: Whaddaya mean, "flip out?"
- Bubblegum: I mean.. they would FLIP OUUUT!!
- Finn: Algebraic!
- Bubblegum: "You promised you wouldn't freakin tell ANYONE!! Aw, you're so cute Finn."
- Finn: MATHEMATICAL!!
- Zombie: Gimme some sugar baby....
- Finn: She just want this slumber party to be super fun, and if I did have something to tell you, then I would in a second, and it would make my life easier, unless there was something stopping me, like a promise, but there isn't, so I won't, so it's cool!
- Finn: If I break a royal promise, I get to fight zombies, throw slumber parties, awake Gumball Guardians, and-and...
- Bubblegum: Alright, alright..
- Finn: AND REVERSE DEATH ITSELF!!!!
- Mr. Cupcake: Jake, truth or dare?
- Jake: Truth!
- Mr. Cupcake: Do you prefer chocolate or fudge?
- Jake: I can't eat chocolate or fudge cos I'm a dog and they'll probably kill me but, hmm.. probably... NEITHER!!
- Finn: Starchy, you're not a zombie.
- Starchy: I can't help it. Flesh is delicious.
- Finn: You're delicious!
- Starchy: He-hey, don't squeeze me, I'll fart! [PWOO!!]
Trouble in Lumpy Space (1b)
Lumpy Space Princess: He's turning into a lumpy space guy on account of my bite. It's sort of like werewolf rules.
Lumpy Space Princess: WHATEVERS 2009!
Jake: Actually, I think I'm beating it back with sheer willpower. [Grows another lump] Oh, my.
Lumpy Space Princess: BUUUUUMPS.
Prisoners of Love (2a)
Finn: Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, he is so hot...
Jake: [Hits Finn's arm suggestively] Mmm hmm. Hehe!
[Ice King glares at the two of them.]
Finn: I mean, not like sexy hot, but...
Jake: No, you do mean sexy hot.
Finn: No, I mean...
Ice King: I DON'T CARE!
(Princesses, Finn, and Jake cheering after they got away from the Ice king)
Slime Princess: Thank you for saving us, Finn!
Finn: You're welcome, Slime princess!
[Picks up slime princess.]
Slime Princess: And remember when you said that you'd... Vow to marry us to that... Thing of heart choosing?
Slime Princess: Weeeell, I'd like to marry youuuuu...[Smiles]
Jake: Oooohhhhhoohhooohoh!!! [Other princesses cheering]
Finn: OH! [Laughs nervously] Well, that- [Whispers] Jake, help me!
Jake: Oh! Aah...Slime Princess, you shouldn't marry Finn, he pees his pants constantly all the time!
[Princesses go 'EEEEWWWW']
Slime Princess: Oh, gross! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!
Finn: A-ahhaha, I'm sorry...[Puts slime princess down and turns to Jake] JAKE- Grwaaa![Glares]
Tree Trunks (2b)
Jake: [Muffling] I'd carve my face on the moon, so the moon will look like my face!
Tree Trunks:I'm the sexiest adventurer in the world!
Finn: Tree Trunks! You're not an adventurer! You nearly got yourself killed, AGAIN! Do you wanna die, Tree Trunks?! Is that what you think adventurers do?! DIE AND MAKE ALL THEIR FRIENDS FEEL TERRIBLE 'CUZ THEY COULDN'T SAVE YOU!?
The Enchiridion! (3a)
- Princess Bubblegum: It's called the Enchiridion. It's a book meant only for heroes whose hearts are RIGHTEOUS. ["PUCHHOO!!"]
- Finn: Shmowzow!
- Princess Bubblegum: The book lies in the top of Mount Cragdoor, guarded by a manly Minotar. It's waiting for a truly righteous hero to claim it!
- Finn: Do you think I've got the goods, Bubblegum? 'Cos I am [pounds floor] INTO THIS STUFF!
- Finn: Bye Princess! Ya know what time it is, buddy?
- Jake: Adventure Time?! [fist bumps Finn]
- Finn: Yeah man!
- Keeper: The key is in you, child, but you can not use your brawn here. The door is MAGICALLY sealed!
- [Finn picks up the Keeper and shoves him into the lock]
- Keeper: You've unlocked the riddle of the door! Ha ha! Brilliantly, young child! Please, reveal to me how you unraveled my clue.
- Finn: I just thought you looked cute stuffed in that lock.
- Keeper: Oh yes, that's how most people get in...
- Jake: Hey, bunk off you gnomes! That kid just save you guys! You should thank him! Not destroy old ladies! Do you even know what I'm talkin' about?! Say thank you! [beat] SAY.. "THANK YOU!"
- Gnome: KILL IT!!
- Jake: WHOA!! [grab the gnomes back into the pot] GET BACK IN THERE!!
- Finn: I'm not righteous. I'm wrong-teous! ...Stupid-teous.
- Finn: Give me back my friend!
- Giant: But I ate him already!
- Evil Wizard: Now, as one last LAST trial; SLAY THIS ANT!
- Finn: Is it evil?
- Evil Wizard: No! But it's... not good, either. It's neutral. Will you slay it?
- Finn: ...NO!
- Evil Wizard: If you want the hero's Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!
- Finn: Never... Never.. NEVER!!
- Evil Wizard: Wuh-oh... [Finn kicks the wizard to smoke]
- Keeper: [enters the room] Congratulations, Finn the Human. Now you have truly reached-
- Finn: [punches Keeper in the stomach] Oh no! Mr. Keeper, I'm sorry. Wha- Why are you wearing that little devil costume?
- Keeper: These are my pajamas... I was getting weady for bed...
- Jake: Hey, crack open that book and read something for fun's sake, alright?
- Finn: Oh yeah! Woah.. "How to Kiss Princesses"? Hehehehe...
- Jake: Woooahh! What'd you just read?
- Princess Bubblegum: [appearing in magical globe] 'Yeah, what does it say, Finn? Manish Man won't tell me.'
- Manish Man: Hey, don't tell her, Finn.
- Finn: It doesn't say anything, Princess.
- Princess Bubblegum: 'Manish Man!'
- Finn: Aaaaaahh... [jumps into air] YEAHHH...!
The Jiggler (3b)
- Finn: [synthesized singing] Baby
- Jake: Ooo!
- Finn: I know what you need
- Jake: What's that?
- Finn: You want your little baby socks
For your little baby feet~
- Jake: Whoo!
- Finn: Baby
- Jake: Yeah?
- Finn: I know what you crave
- Jake: Oh yeah, what's that?
- Finn: You want to poop your pants all day long
Well, baby behave!
- Jake: Man, how can you sing like that?
- Finn: Remember when I swallowed that little computer?
- Jake: Oh yeah.
Finn: This guy is a pal for life! It looks like he's got two jiggly bellies stuck together.
Jake: I've got that on my back. I call it my butt.
Ricardio the Heart Guy (4a)
Princess Bubblegum: Finn, what the cabbage?
Princess Bubblegum: You're totally jealous of Ricardio.
Finn: Not I'm not! I just don't like the way he talks to you. It makes me feel weird.
Princess Bubblegum: That's jealousy, hon.
Finn: I'm not jealous! I'M WEIRD!!
Jake: Woof, man. This is going bad!
Jake: You and me, gut, together forever! Solving crimes and making up rhymes!
Finn: No way! This proves he's a super villain! More powerful than lesser villains, like the Ice King!
Jake: Your gut says he's evil, my gut says he's good! Why not put our guts together, and end this funky feud?
Ricardio: You were right all along, Finn! Now I'm going to cut out Princess Bubblegum's heart and make out with it.
Business Time (4b)
[Finn starts up his flamethrower and burns some ice]
Finn: YEAAAAH! Hahaha! I found another bike, and more computers! What do you got?
Jake: I keep finding baby shoes!
[Burns some ice and find more baby shoes]
Jake: What the heck, man, and they're all lefties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot.
Finn: Keep it together, chubby!
Finn: [Pretending to be Princess Bubblegum] "I'm Princess Bubblegum, and I'm a dork because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice, that Finn thinks is attractive!" Finn and jake:hahaha
My Two Favorite People (5a)
Finn: Alright, this time, I'm gonna destroy you, Rainicorn!
Lady Rainicorn: [Old man voice] Okay. That sounds nice.
Jake: Sorry. I'm an idiot, forgive me?
Finn: Shut up man, I don't want to hear that stuff! Let me get in there.
[Gets in between Lady Rainicorn and Jake]
Jake: Let's never be stupid again!
Finn: Wait, let's always be stupid forever.
Memories of Boom Boom Mountain (5b)
Head Marauder: Get back here, you chicken!
Finn: ...What did you call me?
Head Marauder: You can't just walk away from a roughhouse!
Finn: Hey! Listen up, you cold-hearted marauders! Somebody's out there crying for help and I'm not gonna ignore that!
Jake: Aw, here it comes! Lay it down, Finn!
Finn: A long time ago, when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. Then I fell backwards and sat in my own boom boom and cried for a day, but no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem! And that's why I need to go.
(Finn leaves, the marauders all clap and cheer.)
Jake: He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool, guys. Wait up, Finn!
Finn: What do you think? Fixed all your problems, right?
Mountain: No! That was terrible! Now the men are just punching animals! It's worse than before and it's in no way a good solution!
Mountain: Please! No roughhousing! It's just...so...sad!
Finn: What? Why?
Mountain: Because they're so rough on each other.
Finn: But a smooth, well-controlled roughhouse...bolsters the guts...and rejuvenates the muscle!
Mountain: No! It's raunchy and maddening. All those men and their disgusting fantastic bodies.
Jake: Whoa. This guy's got problems.
Finn: I'm responsible, dude!
Jake: So am I!
Finn: That's a lie!
Jake: It is a lie. And I take full responsibility for it!
(song when Jake and Finn are thrown out of their house)
- Singer: So Finn and Jake
- Set out to find a new home
- It's gonna be tough
- For a kid and a dog on their own.
- Here's a little house
- Aw, Finn's stickin' his foot in
- Well, that's a bad idea, dude
- Cuz now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn!
- And now they're chillin' on the side of a hill
- And thinkin' livin' in a cloud would be totally thrillin',
- Unless they find something inside
- Like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride.
- A beehive, oh nooo~!
- Don't put your foot in there, guy!
- Y'all tried that before,
- And you know it didn't turn out right!
- Big shell, go inside,
- Look around, it seems all right
- A frog comes out and barfs a tiger,
- Throwin' down potions for food and fi-ahire~!
- You know you should've stayed
- And fought that sexy vampire lady,
- But Jake was feelin' terrified
- He was super-scared of her vampire bite,
- Which is understandable
- As vampires are really powerful.
- They're unreasonable
- And burnt out on dealing with mortals.
- Ooh, Marceline
- Why are you so mean?
- Marceline: I'm not mean, I'm 1000 years old
- And I just lost track of my moral code.
- Singer: Oh, Marceline
- Can't you see those guys are in pain?
- Marceline: No, I can't.
- I'm invested in this really cute video game.
- Singer: So there go our boys
- Walkin' on the icy ground,
- Headin' towards their destiny
- I'm sure they'll figure something out.
City of Thieves (7a)
- Finn: Hey, TURD-le! I'monna kick your butt! Also, have you seen this little girl's flower basket?!
- Jake: You're goin down, turtle! [the turtle blasts off with its tailhole] Whoa! I want jets!
- Penny: Hey, my basket! That's my basket!
- Finn: Don't worry, Penny! We'll get it right after I deal with this guy! STEALING'S WRONG, DOOFUS!!
- Phil: [PJs ripped away from rock wall thief] My jammies! [a goblin steals his glasses and basket] MAH GLASSEEE~S!!
- Finn: This good deed has purified us once again. We're Virgin Islands! [the two accompanied cherubs then steals his swords]
- Penny: I'm going to miss you, Finn!
- Finn: I'll miss you too.
- Penny: G'bye! [runs out of tent]
- Jake: Woah, dude! Why are you naked?
- [Finn looks down and sees he's only wearing his underwear]
- Finn: WHA-! PENNNYYYYYYYYYY!!
The Witch's Garden (7b)
- Witch: Are you.. alright, my donut pretties? ..Wait a second. YOU'RE A BAGEL!! LIAR!! ["POOF"] LIARS EVERYWHERE..!!
- Finn: Jake! I never should've doubted you!
- Jake: Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson – that in a crunch, there's nothin I wouldn't do for ya.
- Finn: Ahhh, so is that how you got your powers back? ["ting"] You apologized to the witch?
- Jake: Uum... [sweats profusely] No way! I um.. must have found the right... mud puddle! Yeah... I don't remember. Heh... Rrrrr...
What is Life? (8a)
Finn: Did ya'll smack me into that mountain on purpose?
Finn: Take note, NEPTR. These guys are Grade A Pranksters. You guys hang out, in case we need a daring escape!
[Balloons all agree, while Finn goes into the Ice King's cave]
Single Balloon: I got his wallet!
Balloons: Quick, Finn! Jump!!
[Finn jumps, the balloons pull their strings away at the last second, causing Finn to fall and shout and the balloons laugh; Three balloons carry him back up]
Finn: Heheh, you guys got me!
Finn: [Releases the balloons] Okay guys, your blood oath is fulfilled!
Balloons: Yay! To the mesosphere!
Single Balloon: Finally, we can die!
Ocean of Fear (8b)
Finn: Get me out of the water! Now, Jake, now!
[Jake is shown bruised, saying "ow" as Finn steps on him, screaming]
Jake: Finn! Stop it, Finn! OWWW!!
Finn: [As one tiny drop of water flies onto Finn, slow motion] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm afraid of you, I'm afraid of you!
[Finn scoots away from the water, screaming, then flips on his back and sighs]
Finn: [Drags himself to Jake's feet] Okay, yeah... Let's try tomorrow...
When Wedding Bells Thaw (9a)
- Ice King's "Bride": You lousy butt-faced pig! I hate you!
Freak City (9b)
- Finn: Walking, walking, walking... HAMBONE BREAK!
- Finn: Nuts. I'm freakin' all about sugar, but I'm even more about FEEDING HOBOS!
- Jake: Now that you're a big foot, you're 100% kick, man!
- Two-Headed Monster: Our crotch! Our evil crotch!
- Kim: Get his eyes! Cut him in the aye-eyes!
- Finn: Kim! Get underneath Trudy!
- Kim: No, man, please...I freakin' hate Trudy.
- Finn: Kim, I will destroy you!
- Kim: Okay, okay!
- Finn: Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?
- Jake: Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks?
- Finn: Speaking of jerks, what the blubins, man? Why wouldn't you help me turn back into a boy?
- Jake: Well, because I always kind of wanted to... [mumbles]
- Finn: What!?
- Jake: I said, I always kind of wanted to be a foot myself.
- Jake: I want to help you out of this, man, but she scares the filling out of my donut.
- Finn: That sounds bombastic, honey.
- Duke of Nuts: Why would you want to sack my nut-castle on my second son's first birthday?
- Marceline: Hey Finn, I need you to strangle some pixies!
- Finn: Yeah, sure. That sounds good.
- Marceline: Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Killing pixies is some hardcore evil.
- Finn: I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, lady. You just like saying poop that jacks with my brain.
- Finn: Marceline is not how she seems! She's a radical dame who likes to play games.
- Demon Cat: Greetings, Frank the human boy.
- Finn: How did you almost know my name?
- Demon Cat: I have approximate knowledge of many things. For instance, I know that I am possibly going to slay you and munch on your eyeballs.
The Duke (11a)
- Duchess of Nuts: Hello, Finn. Are you here to arrest the Duke?
- Finn: How did you know?
- Duchess of Nuts: The nuts told me. For I am the Duchess of Nuts!
- [Jake eats a handful of nuts from a bowl.]
- Jake: Ooh. I should've asked if these were, like, her eggs or something.
- Duchess of Nuts: Would you like to hear what MY NUTS HAVE TO SAY?!
- Finn: That won't be...um...necessary...
- Jake: I'm an assassin! I will kill you...and raise your children as my own!
- Finn: Princess, I have something pretty sucky to confess.
- Squirrel: Pick it up Jake! Pick it up! [Jake walks away with Finn] Oh, you son of a Bleeblob!
- Finn: Princess, I have something sucky to confess... I'm the one who threw the bottle!
- Princess Bubblegum: Ah!
- Finn: I'm sorry... But... I knew, if I told you - you'd hate me forever!
- Princess Bubblegum: Mmhhhm... Well, I could never stay mad at you forever. And you seem genuinely penitent.
- Finn: I don't even know what that means... But thank you!
- Finn: You stay here and take care of Donny, while I take care of a unknown possibly-deadly emergency.
- Jake: (as Finn is walking off) Dude, trade me jobs!
- Donny: Gotta get pants. Go get your pants. Button fly!
- Finn: Donny's problem is that he's treated as an outsider, like me!
- Jake: You are NOT an outsider; you wear cute little blue shorts.
- Finn: (Finn looks away, raising his hands) I... Am complicated...
Rainy Day Daydream (12a)
- Jake: Dude, I know something totally rocking we can do!
- Finn: WHOA!! What?
- Jake: Let use our imaginations, man!
- Finn: Barf that! Imagination is for turbo-nerds who can't handle how how kickbutt reality is. I'm a kickbutt reality MASTERRR!!!
- Finn: Watch and learn as I master REALITY. [slowly steps onto floor]
- Jake: NAAAAAOOOH!!!
- Jake: You can't hold this baby back. That's bad parenting, mama!
- Jake: Hello, Finn. I am awake and healthy.
- Finn: Jake, what happened to your bombastic personality?
- Jake: I do not know what you mean. I am perfectly bombastic.
- Finn: Nah man, nah. Something's wrong. Tell me something amazing!
- Jake: But Finn, I cannot tell you something amazing, as there is nothing amazing happening around us that I can describe for you.
- Finn: Aw see man, you suck now!
Jake: Dang, girl. If you weren't a figment of my imagination, I'd wanna have your baby.
[Other imagined girl chuckles]
Jake: What're you laughin' at?
What Have You Done? (12b)
- Jake: Settle down, prisoner. We gotta record your belonging. One magical crown. [whispering to Finn] Probably stolen.
- Ice King: I didn't steal it! I made that item! Made it with the magic that I stole! So hand it over, or I'll strike menacing poses at you!
- Finn: Oh yeah? Well, how about the helmets we found? And we got the Oculus of Rehabilitation.
- Oculus: Be better!
- Finn: And the Shelf of Penitence.
- Crown: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Ice King: I'm toying with you, ha ha, psychologically. (laughs)
- Ice King: What am I being charged with?
- Jake: Five Counts of jerk-a-tearing
- Ice King: Slaps in disgust huh? Let's call them "SLAPPY-Ds"
- Finn: Biscuits!!! Now's my chance!!
His Hero (13a)
Jake The Dog: Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something
Gut Grinder (13b)
Jake: I'm not cute! I'll mess you up!
Jake: Hmm...Finn...What if I am the Gut Grinder?
Jake: What if I'm, like, stealing gold in my sleep?
Finn: You can't be stealing gold in your sleep! [Eyes widen] I watch you while you sleep.
- Marceline: Daddy, why did you eat my fries...
- I bought them and they were mine.
- But you ate them, yeah you ate my fries
- And I cried, but you didn't see me cry.
- Daddy, do you even love me,
- Well I wish you'd show it, cos I wouldn't know it
- What kind of daddy eat his daughter's fries
- and doesn't even look her in the eyes?
- Daddy, there were tears there
- If you saw them would you even care?
- Marceline: I've been meaning to ask you. What's with the pocket on your shirt?
- Finn: Oh, Jake's in here. 'Sup Jake. [pip]
- Marceline's Dad: Of all history's greatest monsters, you are by far the most evil thing I've encountered. Offer your soul to me, dark one.
- Gunter: Wenk wenk.
- Marceline's Dad: No! You can't have MY soul! I don't even... Look, just get in here. [... WACK]
- Gunter: Wenk wenk.
- Marceline's Dad: [kick] Keep your crummy soul!
- Ice King: Gunter! Who told you you could fly?
Lumpy Space Princess: DRAMA BOMB!
The Eyes (1b)
- Jake: Hey, get outta here, horse. I wanna go to sleep and you're creeping me the math out!
- Jake: [to the horse] What's your deal, screwy? Why're you messin' with us, huh?
- Finn: Jake. That horse is whack with poo-brain.
- Jake: Yeah, I know, Finn, I diagnosed this horse with whacked-out poo-brain five minutes ago.
- Jake: Dude... Let's kill the horse.
Loyalty to the King (2a)
- LSP: Oh my gosh. [dials and porking rinds] Yeah. Guess what. Slime Princess is in the park, and she's like, talking to a new Nice King, and he's like, totally single. By the way, DON'T TELL ANYBODY.
- Finn: And I was like "Leave him alone!", and he was like "Make me!", and I was like "OK", and then he was like "ARRRGH MY HEAD!!!"
Blood Under the Skin (2b)
- Finn: [to ladybug] Don't you EVER let me catch you here again.
- Choose Goose: Look here hon, choose this one to protect your bum!
- Jake: Dude! This armor is totally tsk-tsk!
- Jake: Blankie me. Blankie me, Finn!
- Finn: I'll get your blanket dude, where is it?
- Jake: Right here.
- Finn: Why don't you just get it yourself?
- Jake: Because I'm SIIIICK!!
Slow Love (3b)
Finn: Jake! What time is it?
Jake: I dunno, but you're probably gonna say...
Finn & Jake: [simultaneously] Lady time! [The words "LADY TIME" appear on screen]
Jake: [Pretending to be male snail, wiggle's his abs] Hey, baby, what's up?
Finn: ...Uh- [Jake grabs his hand] Wha-?!
Jake: [starts sniffing Finn's hand] Mmmm...Mmm, mm, mmm! Girrrl, you smell gooood. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
[Finn looks terrified; his mouth trembles]
[Jake repeatedly changes from guy snail to girl snail, saying "Say yes!" each time he changes]
Finn: OK, yes!!
Power Animal (4a)
- Cinnamon Bun: Finn, you always focus an endless amount of energy on EVERYTHING you do.
- Jake: What about me? What do I focus my energy on, Cinnamon Bun?
- Cinnamon Bun: Uh.. Jake... you don't really focus at all.
- Jake: [crams ice cream in toaster] Huh?
- Cinnamon Bun: I said you don't FOCUS AT ALL!!
- Jake: Where... is.. Finn? Is he in the kitchen?
- BMO: Does he have a pumpkin?
- Rima tima tin tin
- Jake: Dooba dooba dumplin
- BMO: Poopy doopy pie tin
- Jake: Monkey watermelon!
- Jake: Take my sandwich, Beemo! I'monna go find Fi— [GASP!] A DANCING BUG~!!
- Jake: Hey man! You're shaking it all wrong.
- Dancing Bug: But shaking it's all I know!
- Jake: Shh. Let me how you HOW IT'S DONE.
- Cinnamon Bun: YOU'RE A DYNAMO, FINN!!
- Finn: Yeah! I never slow down!!
- Grandmaster Gnome: Congratulations. You fully charged the Alternator! Now it's time to power up the Plasma Ball... with sexy fun dancing!!
- Finn: Don't think, Finn. Don't think anything. CAN'T... LET... THEM... WIN!!!
- Finn: No more games. No... more... PAJAMAS!!!
- Jake: Must... find... Finn! MUST... MUST... PARTY FOREVER~!!
Crystals Have Power (4b)
Jake: [Hitting the crystal wall] GYAH! Stupid ghost dad! I'll show him! Buuh...Okay. Intimidate them with controlled attack!
Tree Trunks: I wanted you, Finn! So you could be transformed into my sexy crystal king!
Finn: TREE TRUNKS! You've gone bananas with crystal power!
Tree Trunks: Finn, it's not sexy for a king to call his queen bananas!
- Joshua: Jake, what did you do to your brother?
- Jake: We were just playing, and then I got outta control! I'm sorry Dad...
- Joshua: No son, you did good. Having no self-control makes you a tough galoot, like me!
- Jake: But I don't wanna hurt nobody!
- Joshua: Well that's too bad kid, cos you're gonna hurt EVERYBODY.
- Jake: NOOOOOOOHHHH....!!!!
- Joshua: "Jake! Jake, I brought someone here to see you. It's your brother! "
- Jake: JERMAINE?! Are you dead??
- Jermaine: "Naw, man! We're just dreamin' at the same time! "
- Jake: Well, I'm sorry about that time I beat you up.
- Jermaine: "Yo, that was an accident. I knew you were just horsin' off. "
- Jake: But Dad, you said I'm gonna hurt everybody!
- Joshua: "Yeah, everybody. "
- Jake: I dunno, Dad. That doesn't really help me.
- Joshua: "Everybody who is EVIL, Jake. Let me finish next time, hmm? Yeah? "
- Jake: If I had a penny for every time someone went crazy-hopped up on magic energy, [long beat] ...I'd be Abraham Lincoln.
- Singer: Apple pie in the oven
- Tell me you can taste lovin'.
The Other Tarts (5a)
- Royal Tart Toter: Hello? Eat my tarts? ... This cosmic dance, bursting decadence and withheld permissions, twists all our arms collectively. But, if sweetness can win - and it can - then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace.
To Cut a Woman's Hair (5b)
Finn: Check this out! (Finn pull off his white hat and shown his long blonde hair)
(Jake and the wood witch gasped.)
The Chamber of Frozen Blades (6a)
- Ice King: Gunter, you're EMBARRASSING ME!!!
- Finn: "A true ninja passes no wind; he only passes—" [PUMPP!!]
- Jake: Get ready to be.. STAR STRUCK.
- Finn: Get ready to be.. COLD CUT.
Her Parents (6b)
- Finn: Dude! Her parents are probably all full of dog-hatred from the war-times! They're gonna see you're a dog and forbid Lady from ever hanging out with you again!
- Jake: ...Nah. That could never happen.
- Finn: You didn't think this through enough. IT COULD HAPPEN!!
The Pods (7a)
- Finn: "Freezed" to meet you!
The Silent King (7b)
- Xergiok: IT'SSS SPANKING TIME!!! YEAAHHH!! YEAH!!
The Real You (8a)
- Finn: Don't worry. I have EVERYTHING under control.
- Bubblegum: UNDER CONTROL?! My guests are terrified!
- Finn: YES!! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the pineal GLAND!! This has serious educational value!! Thanatophobia and this NDE is giving us euphoric altered awareness!! Don't you see, Princess?!? WE WERE ALL BORN TO DIE!!
- Bubblegum: YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!?
- Finn: NO, OF COURSE NOT! I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE GREATEST CONFERENCE EVER!!!
Guardians of Sunshine (8b)
Jake: And there's you!... doin'... whatever you're doin'... Finn: I'm lookin' at my bits! My leg is math!
Death in Bloom (9a)
- PB: SCREEEEEEE!!!
- Finn: Time to lay down beautiful buddy.
- Jake: Yeah. Time to make sleepies!
- Finn: Ahhh. ...We killed it, man!
- Jake: I know!
Susan Strong (9b)
[Susan faceplants herself into the grass]
Jake: Ohp, you killed her.
Finn: Wha-? I did!?
Jake: Yep, felled by surface world germs!
[Susan rolls forward on her face, kicking up grass behind her]
Jake: Heh, just kiddin'!
Mystery Train (10a)
- Finn: My birthday wish, is vengeance! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
Go with Me (10b)
- Bubblegum: Hello?
- Finn: Hi Princess. Would you to Couples Movie Night with me?
- Bubblegum: Sounds romantic, Finn.
- Finn: No! I was just wondering [blushed] if you wanted to go with me.
- Bubblegum: No, I'm sorry Finn. I'm busy practicing for the Whistling Choir Death Match Championship.
- Finn: But—
- Bubblegum: Auf Wiedersehen!
- Bubblegum: Greetings, Finn. [unamused] Hey, Marceline.
- Marceline: Hello, Bonnibel.
- Bubblegum: Yeah, yeah...
Belly of the Beast (11a)
- Finn: All those bears.. are gonna turn into the stuff.
The Limit (11b)
- Finn and Jake: Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant!
Video Makers (12a)
- Finn: We've been showing these films unauthorized.
- Jake: But these movies are before the Great Mushroom War.
- Finn: We should still respect authority, mang.
Heat Signature (12b)
- Finn: Man, I still can't believe Marceline is 1,000 years old and has never seen Heat Signature. This movie is gonna blow their minds.
Mortal Folly (13a)
- Ice King: [to Princess Bubblegum] I'm sorry, Princess. I love you and I've decided to let you go free. [removes ice cuffs from PB's wrists] Go free! [drops her into Lich's well] Oops, I've got the dropsies.
- The Lich: Aren't you cold... Finn? Walk into the well... Finn. Aren't you cold?
- [Finn teeters on edge of well, then pauses. Gets angry.]
- Finn: [yelling] NO, I'M NOT! I'VE GOT A SWEATER ON!!
Mortal Recoil (13b)
- Nurse Poundcake: What's her condition, Dr. Ice Cream?
- Dr. Ice Cream: She totally gross over 90% of her body, the other 10% is crazy-nasty.
- Nurse Poundcake: Will she make it, Doctor?!
- Dr. Ice Cream: I don't know, Nurse Poundcake.
- Jake: Princess, you're not feeling good
- You're not feelin' like a princess should
- And if you wanna get better fast
- Check out my cute little booty dance!
- Ice King: No! Not my number one! Princess, if you die on me I will never forgive you! I'll be lost.. lost in my own emotional labyri—
- Finn: YAAAAHHH!!!
- Jake: Listen... PB's bed was on fire.
- Finn: WHAT?? Is she OK?
- Jake: [low] She MADE it on fire!!
- Finn: With a match?
- Jake: No, man! With her brain.. I think...
- Ice King: Guys, let me help you! I don't want my future wife to be... physically unattractive.
- Nurse Poundcake: Attention, everyone!
- Finn: IS PB OKAY!??
- Nurse Poundcake: Yes.. but there were some complications...
- Finn: NAAAAAOOOOOH!!!!
- Finn: Princess, the sweater you made me kept me safe. I almost got super-messed up but, it saved me. And.. I wanted to say... thank you for imbuing the sweater with the power of liking someone a lot, cos... I like you a lot.
- Ice King: OK. I didn't kill 'er this time. Everybody saw that, right?
- Gumball Guardian: DUUUDE.
- Finn: I'm a cat! I'm an agile cat!
Conquest of Cuteness (1a)
- Finn and Jake: Beemo, get the camera!
- BMO: BMO is camera.
- Jake: Ahh no! It's a dead goat, man! Its guts are all over the place! It's all chopped up and spread around and... Ah no, wait, it's just a blanket.
- Jake: I love you, Everything Burrito.
Morituri Te Salutamus (1b)
- Jake: Gotta liven up this unhallowed ground.. for Finn.
- On a tropical island
- Underneath a molten lava moon
- Hangin' with the hula dancers
- Asking questions cos they got all the answers...
Memory of a Memory (2a)
Baby Finn: I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man, I can shake-ah my fanny, I can shake-ah my can! I'm a tough tootin' baby, I can punch-ah yo' buns! Punch-ah yo' buns, I can punch all yo' buns! If you're an evil witch, I will punch you for fun
- Finn: Ice King! How many times have we warned you about using love potion?
- Ice King: That's why I'm using honey.
- Jake: Man, who cares if it's honey? You stink anyways!
- Finn: YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!
- Ice King: I know but.. SHUSH!!
- Jake: Dude, you see my masterpiece coming together, right?
- Finn: Mine's whack.
- Jake: Well put some meat in there!
- Finn: Huh. What kinda meat is that?
- Jake: That's Meat Man's meat.
- Finn: Do ya think it hurts Meat Man when he gives us his meat?
- Jake: I dunno, I can't read his mind.
- Ice King: Whoa, you are fast! [beat] And quiet. [long beat] And very good at dramatic silence, I like it.
- Ice King: "Dear Mr. Scorcher, I would like you to hit to people. Neat name by the way. Love, the Ice King."
- Jake: Hey Finn, you awake yet?
- Finn: [lying down] I'm trying...
- Jake: I had a dream about Meat Man.
- Finn: Oh yeah?
- Jake: I think I'm gonna stop eating Meat Man.
- Ice King: Hey guys, guess what? You're grounded – underneath my butt!
Too Young (3a)
- Lemongrab: [growing steadily louder] This castle is in unacceptable condition! UNACCEPTABLE!
- Lemongrab: [yelling] One million years dungeon!
The Monster (3b)
Finn: Dude, I know where Lumpy Space Princess is! She's in the woods eating beans.
Jake: Mhmm! This is gonna be easy as...uhh...hmmm...
Finn: Easy as childbirth!
Jake: Yeah, okay.
Lumpy Space Princess: I knew, that if my parents could see me now, they'd be jealous of how lumpin' awesome I am.
Lumpy Space Princess: TONY! JESSICA'S CHEATING ON YOU!
Jake: Why are you doing this, Ice King?
Ice King: Why? Because I love you guys! But you don't love me, do ya?
Jake: You tried to kill us, like, four times!
Ice King: I only try to kill you 'cuz you're PRINCESS-BLOCKIN' ME ALL THE TIME!
Finn: The Astral Beast cometh.
Ice King: Well, how 'bout I make us some omelets?
Jake: ...That sounds pretty good, actually.
Ice King: I'm going to put my foot in it. Eating a part of me will bring us closer together! I'll be inside of you! [laughs]
Fionna and Cake (5a)
- Fionna: Ice Queen, why are you always predatoring on dudes?!
- Ice Queen: Ha! You should talk! Keeping all the babes to yourself, totally ice-blocking my game!
- Cake: Why're y'all breathless if we're the ones runnin'.
- Cake: CAT NIP! Sweet babies!
- Cake: [barges] WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN HERE—!??
- Gumball: Fionna, come to the ball with me.
- Fionna: As your.. chum?
- Gumball: No, as my... GIRLFRIEND.
- Cake: Psst! Fi! Tell Gumball that you think he's HAWT.
- Fionna: [chiding] What? No!
- Cake: GUYS LIKE TO HEAR THAT THEY'RE HOT!!
- Fionna: Will you keep your voice down??
- Fionna: Ice King is the hottest hottie, and I can't wait to marry him....
- Ice King: "..said Fionna! Then she turned to Prince Gumball and said, 'I hope Ice King will sweep me off my feet and take me to the farthest corner of Ooo, where we will do nothing but kiss and eat a whole bunch till we get fat and die!' The end." So, what did you think of the fan fiction I wrote about you guys?
- Finn: [encased with Jake with manuscripts beside Gunter] Uuhh...
- Ice King: Tell me you though it was good!!
- Finn: [squeaked] Awh, it's good, it's good! It's REALLY good dude, it was amazing!
What Was Missing (5b)
- Finn: I'll get your kid back, toy!
- Finn: I wonder what it liked, or what was missing.
- Jake: Well, I know what's missing — talent! I'm getting outta here, you hacks! Talentless hacks!!
- Marceline: STOP STARING AT ME!! Ugh, you threw me off!
- Jake: Don't worry, bro. We won't tell anyone about the private time you spend with your wad of Princess Bubblegum's hair.
- Marceline: You... kept the shirt I gave you?
- PB: Yeah.. it uh, means a lot to me.
- Marceline: But you never wore it.
- PB: Dude, I wear it all the time! As pajamas.
- PB: Marceline, that's too distasteful!
- Marceline: Oh.. You don't like that? Or do you just not like ME!?
- Finn: What is this gripagrap?!
- PB: It's the door of the Door Lord, Finn. We used to lock them up but they kept breaking out. Cos they're Door Lords.
- Marceline: They broke out because YOU let them live.
- Marceline: Ha!! Looks like you aren't as perfect as you thought. Guess you can't judge me anymore.
- PB: I never said you had to be perfect!
The Creeps (6b)
- Jake: I'm Randy Butternubs.
From Bad to Worse (7a)
- Bubblegum: Cinnamon Bun? What did you... EEEEEEK!!!
- Cinnamon Bun: SUGAR..!!
- Bubblegum: Just let Science to the work! Science is... MOOORRRAAAHHHH...!!!
- Finn: NAAAAAOOH!!!
- LSP: GET THAT ZOMBIE OUTTA HERE! RAHH!!
- Finn: RAAGH!!
- LSP: Aw naw. I am not getting eaten by zombies tonight. [...] GET THE LUMP.. OUTTA.. HERE!!
- LSP: Oh.. my.. Glob!!
- Finn: Jake, I think this little guy have serious dance fever.
Jake vs. Me-Mow (8b)
Jake: (After throwing meat out the window) WILDBERRY PRINCESS IS DEAD!
Holly Jolly Secrets Part I (10a)
- Finn: OK.. you can play this, right Beemo?
- BMO: Yes, FInn. [turns around] It goes in my butt.
- Ice King: "Secret tapes"!?? I wanna watch!
Holly Jolly Secrets Part II (10b)
- Finn: Oh my Glob, Jake. Is this it? Could this be the Ice King's evil secret? [...] WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!??
- Shelby: And so it was decided that once every year when the weather got chilly that Finn, Jake, the Ice King, BMO, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline the Vampire Queen, Cinnamon Bun, Peppermint Butler, Phil, a candy cane man, one of the Gumdrop girls, Lady Rainicorn, Lumpy Space Princess, that guy, the other guy, a pig, Tree Trunks, a two-headed duck, the old crazy Tart Toter, the Punchbowl, a booger, and Gunter would get together while wearing really big sweaters and watch videos on the floor next to a fire to celebrate the day when Finn and Jake had a fleeting moment of empathy for the biggest weirdo in Ooo. It was a miracle. Good night.
Dad's Dungeon (13a)
- That Guy: Wait! Why don't you wanna take my path?
- Jake: Because. You're super gross, man.
- Holo-Joshua: "The dungeon's 80 paces west of here under a dumb-looking rock. And Finn, this dungeon's gonna kick your tail. I bet you won't even get past the first trial, you whiny baby! "
- Holo-Joshua: "Jake, I need your help. You gotta call Finn a whiny baby."
- Jake: But—
- Holo-Joshua: "Buts are for pooping! Do it for Poppy."
- Holo-Joshua: "Finn, if you're seeing this pre-recorded holo-message, it's because you've finished the dungeon that I made for you. I'm proud of you. You're gonna do great things in this world. I love you, son."
- Demon: Joshua! Return my blood to me! Or by demon's law, I will cut off your love-handles! Joshua, we go way back! [Jake inserts cartridge] C'mon! Just give me back my blood!
- Holo-Joshua: "Kee Oth Rama Pancake! "
- Demon: NOOOOOOOHHH...!!!!
- Jake: [thru Beemo cam] Aw Finn, I'm sorry bro.
- Finn: [weeping] "Beemo, go away! " [turns away, Beemo claps his hands together slowly to his crack]
- BMO: "Woop! Duck.. duck.. duck.. GOOSE!! "
- Finn: "AAHHHH!!!! "
Web Weirdos (2a)
- Jake: A love like theirs will always find a way. It'll crawl all up over you and drain your body fluids, poisoning you slowly until you pass out.
Return to the Nightosphere (3a)
- Finn: Oh buttraps! Jake, stretch us to the front.
- All Demons: NO CUTTING!!!
- Big Demon: I will kill you with all my hopes and regrets!!
TWO DAYS LATER
- [both wheezy and smelly]
- Finn: I can't feel my legs.
FOUR DAYS LATER
- [both quietly crying streams of tears]
EIGHT DAYS LATER
- Finn: Say something!! Say something to me!
- Jake: I can't.. I got nothing to say anymore!
- Finn: Just make up words then!
- Jake: Bloobity bloo bloo blah blee blee blah.. shree shrah...
EIGHT HOURS LATER
- Jake: Hey check it out, we're in front of the line.
Daddy's Little Monster (3b)
- Jake: "Yoyoyoyo check it! This is Jake on my cameraphone! Waaaaaoohh! Woah woaoh! Yo Finn! Say hi to my new cameraphone!"
- Finn: "Whaddup camera phone!!"
- Finn and Jake: "LELELELELELELELELE..."
- Hunson Abadeer: Don't you want.. ABS?
- Ant Demon: Yeah, gimme abs!
Hug Wolf (4b)
- Cinnamon Bun: You came into my room around midnight, and gave me a squeeze.. A REALLY STRONG ONE!!
- Finn: JAKE HURRY!!!
- Jake: Is he crushing you, man?
- Finn: No, he's just- hugging me gently!
- Finn: HUGS FOR BUDDIEEES!!
- Gumdrop: SHE'LL NEVER MARRY!!!
Beyond This Earthly Realm (6a)
- Ice King: What do you think, Finn? Can we pull back the layer of static and reach into the source of all being? Behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator... so clever, right here in every home, watching us from a one-sided mirror.
- [Finn stares.]
- Ice King: Whoops! Heh, just wizard-talkin' to myself.
Card Wars (7b)
- Bee-Mo: [lands on Finn's head] Bee-Mo chop! If this were a real attack, [whispers] you'd be dead.
- Finn: I floop the pig.
- Jake: You ganked my Spirit Walker!
- Finn:ha,corn field suck!
Sons of Mars (8a)
- Abraham Lincoln: Magic Man, I give you two choices. One is total annihilation. The Wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with Death. The second is to use the power of the Wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos, on an endless journey of wonder and discovery!
- Tiny Manticore: I am the true coward. Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude who hides from the light. Thank you, brave hero. I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison is shame. MY NEW PRISON IS SHAME!!
Burning Low (8b)
- Jake: [forming his arm into a staircase with 15 steps] Let me explain some junk about dating. Right now you're at Tier 1, which is hugging. But pretty soon you'll be at Tier 2, which is smooching. Then, down the road you'll make it to Tier 5, where she'll let you discover all fifteen feet of her long, beautiful stomach. Then after a while, you'll make it to Tier 8, where you touch her horn for the very first time. Very special.
- Finn: What about Tier 15?
- Jake: [sharply] You stay away from that! Do not do Tier 15!!!
- Finn: Dude, I got no idea what you're talking about.
Ignition Point (11b)
- Finn: What's going on with the costumes?
- Costumed Fire Actor: This is a theater troop, we're getting ready to preform for the king. Everyone in the kingdom shall be in attendance. Ofcourse, you know all this being fellow actors from the exact same troop.
- Jake: I have an idea. We'll go on stage, act like two conspirators. You'll have one shoe untied, I will talk with hiss voice. We'll talk about how we wanna kill the king. As we do this we'll study the faces of the audience and look for guilty reaction.
- Finn: That's brilliant!
- Jake: Thanks, it's an original idea. By me.
- Finn: Water? You know what's even more painful? If we pour ice in his ear. That's how we'll kill the Flame King.
- Flame King: Kill the Flame King? This is treason disguised as a play. Guards, seize them!
- Flame King: Furnius and Torcho!
- Furnius: Hello, uncle.
- Flame King: Arrest the executioners. I thought I had you two extinguished.
- Furnius: You cannot quench the flames of revenge.
- Torcho: You snuffed out our father to become king!
- Furnius: Oh, yeah. [Laughs]. Take them to the punishment room.
I Remember You (13a)
- Marceline: Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world?
- That must be so confusing for a little girl
- And I know you're going to need me here with you
- But I'm losing myself and I'm afraid you're going to lose me too
- Ice King: Ooh yeah! Keep it going!
- Marceline: Oh! Um... This magic keeps me alive
- But it's making me crazy
- And I need to save you
- But who's going to save me?
- Please forgive me for whatever I do
- When I don't remember you
- Ice King: Wow! I wrote that? Hot stuff!
- Marceline: What? You don't remember what it means!? [...] LOOK!!
- Ice King: ...Marceline
- I can feel myself slipping away
- I can't remember what it made me say
- But I remember that I saw you frown
- I swear it wasn't me, it was the crown
- This magic keeps me—
- Together: —Alive,
- But it's making me crazy
- And I need to save you
- But who's going to save me?
- Please forgive me for whatever I do
- When I don't remember you~
- Please forgive me for whatever I do
- When I don't remember you.
- Da dah
- Da da da da da dah
- Da da, da da da dah
- Daaahhh... / Dadah.. da.. dah...
Finn the Human (1a)
- Being: Actually, it depends on the wish I granted him.
- Finn: Wish?
- Being: Yeah, he wished for the extinction of all life and I did it. I guess it changed his timeline or something?
- Finn: WHAT!!?? OH GLOB!!
- Finn: I wish... the Lich... never.. even EVER existed.
Jake the Dog (1b)
- Lich: I wish... for the extinction of all li-i— ..for Finn and Jake to go back home to Ooo. Huh!? No wait! That's not what I wished for—!
- Prismo: Sorry guy, you only get one wish. Hey Jake. Did you see that? Monkey's paw.
- Ice King: Now honey, I told you. You could take the sign off when you tell me where you hid Daddy's crown jewels.
- Gunter: Wenk.
- Ice King: Gunter! ..Huh? [the jewels fly him away] Ooh wowzers!
Five More Short Graybles (2a)
- Finn/Jake: OhwhatagodboyamI!
- Jake: Little Jack Horner
Sat on a corner
Eating a Christmas pie
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
- Ice King: Ahhh, sweetie, this is bliss. Feels so math to finally be normal. Hah, not like those two freaks. [points to Finn and Jake sticking their thumbs in a snowman] What are they doin' over there? Anyway, I— Ohh, who's that?
- [He looks at his other foot and there is a winking face on it]
- Ice King: Oh. Oh my.
Up a Tree (2b)
- Finn: [deep breath] POOPED.
All the Little People (3a)
- Finn: So it's not good to weigh someone's qualities against your own?
- Jake: Well, no. I mean, if you feel something, you FEEL something. It’s not about personality matrixals and charts – it’s all about the bu-bumps in your heart! You can’t stop the pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps!!
Jake the Dad (3b)
- Jake: [shouts holo-message speaker] The puppies aren't moving!
- Holo-Margaret: PERFORM CPR, THEY MIGHT BE DEAD!!
- Jake Jr.: Dad, the manual's a BUNCHA JUNK!! Just give us a chance.
- Jake: Jake Jr.! You said your first words! "The manual's a buncha junk!" The manual's a buncha junk??
Mystery Dungeon (4b)
- Lemongrab: Awake! Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear, for time has come wake and run AND NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR!!!
- Tree Trunks: What are those awful words?
- Lemongrab: I'm reading the wall. They are wall words.
- Lemongrab: Ice King, how do you taste?
- Ice King: Nice, I guess?
- Lemongrab: MILD OR SPICY!??
- Ice King: Oh, uh...
- Ice King: Kinda lonely.
- Ice King: Well that's it, show's over. I'll just die here and y'all can eat my body if you want to survive...
Bad Little Boy (6a)
- Marshall Lee: Don't you know I'm a villain? Every night I'm out killin', sending everyone running like children. I know why you're mad at me. I've got demon eyes, and they're looking right through your anatomy, into your deepest fears. Baby, I'm not from here, I'm from the Nightosphere. To me, you're clear, transparent. You got a thing for me, girl; it's apparent.
Vault of Bones (6b)
- Finn: I shall grant thee clemency.. if you do the splits. DO the splits!!
- Skeleton: I-I can- I can't do the s-splits.
- Finn: DO THE SPLITS THOU MILK-LEVERED MAGGOT PIE!!!
- Finn: Whoo! Hot Daniel, Flame Princess! I though you were gonna burn me alive!
- FP: No way. I'd never do that to my boyfriend.
Simon & Marcy (7b)
- Marceline: Alright. Suppose it's about time I told someone this story.
- Simon: Hey, check it out, a VHS tape. You wanna watch a movie?
- Marcy: Yeah!
- Simon: Man, this is a boring movie. [Marcy giggles] I like the book much better.
- Simon: Vandalism is wrong, Marcy.
- Marcy: Okay.
- Simon: Marceline, cover your ears! [kicks Clambulance] MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER!!
- Simon: Marcy, look! I-I found chicken soup! You're gonna feel awesome in a moment.
- Marcy: I'm just glad— [nom, gulp] ..you're okay.
- Simon: Do you feel awesome?
- Marcy: Mmhm. I love you, Simon.
- Simon: I love you... Gunter.
- Ice King: Marceline, keep telling these chump stories while I score a buncha baskets.
Wizards Only, Fools (13b)
- Finn: I got traumatised by those underpanties. This sucks.
- Finn: Hey Jake?
- Jake: What?
- Finn: Is PB straight-up naked right now?
- Jake: Dude, don't make me feel any more awkward than I already do!
- Ice King: [on tape recorder] "No way! I'm no rat! I am bound by the sacred trust of esoteric knowledge!"
- PB: "Say the password, Ice King!"
- Ice King: "You think I'll just hand you the keys to the city? I'd rather DIE."
- PB: "Say the password."
- Ice King: "OW!! MY PINKY!! Ow.. Thank you. You know, no one has touched me in months. Could you touch me again?"
- PB: "PASSWORD!! NOW!!! "
- Ice King: "AHH!! OH OWW~!!! WIZARDS RULE!! THE PASSWORD IS "WIZARDS RULE!"
- Grandmaster Wizard: Wizard prison! All of you! Wizard prison!
- PB: Rubeldubel dingeldongel-PFFT.
Sky Witch (15a)
- PB: Now, make a fist with your brain and PUNCH against sleepytimes! SAY NOO!! NOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't go ungentle into that good night.
- PB: Raggedy Princess can make you a new Hambo in like three seconds. A Raggedy Princess can BE your new Hambo. She'd do it too. That girl has like, zero self-respect. Haha. That's mean. Don't tell her I said that.
- Marceline: ..You killed him??
- PB: Don't be dense! Hambo can't even talk! Snap out of it, girl.
- Marceline: He's been with the witch this whole time! Maybe he can talk now!
- Marceline: Where are you Maja, you creep?!
- PB: Micro... and macro... the picture... becomes... clear.... aaand... Call it! Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, wait — YES.
Frost & Fire (15b)
- Ice King: Ahh! My hams!!
- Flame Princess: What did you say to me?
- Ice King: Uuh.. wha? What did I say?
- Flame Princess: [gasp!] It IS in the tone of your voice.
- Ice King: Look, just take whatever you want, okay? Take it all! It's all just prunes! Prunes and liver! Frozen, of course.
- Ice King: And I didn't get to test my new fireproof grundies.
- Finn: "Man. I need to have that dream again. I have to get Flame Princess to beat down Ice King again."
- Finn: [speeding] "Dear Ice King, you smell like stink, you're unpleasant, you're not funny, you're old, blahblahblahblah, sincerely love, Flame Princess. P.S. Let us fight!!" HAHHHRR!! "Dear Flame Princess, you're just the worst, your hair is bad, your feet smell like face cheeks, blahblahblah, let's meet up and fight, dummy, sincerely, Ice King." [checking] Hm. Flame Princess fight Ice King.
- PB: What is all that noise? Ach, mein Glöb!!
- Cosmic Owl: You blew it.
- Ice King: You blew it, man.