Aladdin and the King of Thieves
From Wikiquote
[edit] Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)
Aladdin and the King of Thieves is a Disney direct-to-video animated film. It is the second sequel to Aladdin, following The Return of Jafar; and the last of the Aladdin films and the animated series.
[edit] Dialogue
- Cassim: (Hands Aladdin a dagger.) Knock him dead, kid. Seriously.
- Genie: And your name is...?
- Thor: I'm Thor.
- Genie: You're Thor?
- Thor: Well, it hurts.
- Genie: Observe! [pushes a button on the remote control and a robotic Genie appears]
- RoboGenie: You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine Wedding! Prepare to be vaporized! Thank you! [Genie, Aladdin, Cassim, and Iago duck as lasers fire from the cannon]
- Genie: Armed... and dangerous! I'd like to see one of those Fourty Thieves get within an inch of your wedding.
- Iago: Ahem! Allow me to introduce...
- Cassim: (laughs) The King of Thieves.
- Genie: [shrieks, then calls on a walkie talkie] All units, we have Code Red! (Genie then transforms into dozens of S.W.A.T. troopers, who take up positions around the room, at the same time the area is sealed off. Genie also appears as Scottish men, the Lone Ranger and paratroopers)
- Genie: (as multiple S.W.A.T. troopers) Code Red! Code Red!
- Genie: (as Scottish men) Come on, boys! Follow me! [all play bagpipes]
- Genie: (as the Lone Ranger) Calvary, FORWARD! [all Lone Rangers follow him]
- Genie: (as paratroopers jump out of a plane) Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! (as Pocahontas) Pocahontas!
- Genie: (surround Cassim on all sides) Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!
- Aladdin: [tries to push through the mob of Genies] Genie-
- Genie: Back off Al, this creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm.
- Aladdin: Genie, meet my dad.
- [All the Genies stare wide-eyed at Cassim]
- Genie: Stand down, men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. (All the other Genies "poof" away]
- Genie: (imitates Ray Combs) Survey says... Show me TURTLE!
- Genie: (impersonates Mrs. Doubtfire as he's trying to cheer up Jasmine) Listen to Genie, dear. Genie knows. You've got to get your mind off this incessant waiting.
- Genie: [looks at the guests waiting for the wedding] They're heeeeeeeeere. [in horror] Oh, no! (as the White Rabbit) I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! [gets the wedding ready]
- Genie: (threateningly) If you're Al's dad and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing.
- Cassim: Yeah?
- Genie in Waiter-form: Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?
- Iago: Meet your match, Zorro!
- Cassim: Good birdie. Polly want a little...
- Iago: Say "cracker" and I'll let you have it on principle!
- Aladdin: What's the ultimate treasure?
- Cassim: The big one, boy. The Hand of Midas.
- Aladdin: It's just a myth.
- Cassim: It's not a myth, boy! It was once right here. Look, there's your proof! From stern to stem, every piece of rigging, every peg and board, all of it... solid gold!
- Abu: Ooooh!
- Iago: Adopt me, daddy-o!
- Cassim: Touched by the Hand of Midas.
- Aladdin: And sunk by it.
- Thief: It is a good day to die.
- Sa'luk: Or to come back from the dead.
- Cassim: Who-
- Aladdin: I've come to say "goodbye".
- Cassim: Why are you-
- Aladdin: We don't have much time. While the guards chase me, you get out.
- Cassim: I can't let you-
- Aladdin: Forget it! They can't catch me. (he tosses Cassim the keys)
- Cassim: He even sounds like me.
- Genie: [disguised as an old man] Ooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion!
- Razoul: Our princess is to wed.
- Genie: Ooh, wonderful! And who's the lucky prince?
- Razoul: Not a prince at all. Just a no-account street rat.
- Genie: [in his true form] No way! (grabs Razoul) Try it phonetically. It's... Aladdin! (A neon lit "Aladdin" sign appears as record scratches; blinks out) Aww- some of you don't believe. [Main titles appears, this time in Arabian style, as music resumes and fireworks pops]. (as Tinkerbell) In color! (giggles)
- Genie: Hmmm, maybe you, you could elope! No, you cantelope, [pulls a cantelope from nowhere] But oh Honeydew! [slaps fruit into view, it turns into a Cinderella carraige] I dunno if I should put it in Produce or Props! Please, don't squeeze the tyres, they're not quite ripe!
- Razoul: It is tragic, Your Highness, but it appears Aladdin has followed in his father's footsteps.
- Genie in Lawyer-form: I object, Your Honor! (Turns Razoul into an officer and the Sultan into a judge with stand) I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines in my courtroom. (Hands him a suitcase and blasts him out of sight) Take this to a higher court, my good man!
- Aladdin: Genie, I need my father's clothes.
- Genie: Al, c'mon! Why you gonna try on the King of Thieves get-up? Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say "ARREST ME"?! (In black and white prisoner clothes)
- Razoul: Open caraway!
- [cave does not open]
- Guard 1: It's still not happening.
- Razoul: When I get my hands on that no good-
- Guard 2: But, I thought you said it was "Open sesame".
- [ground shakes as cave opens up, Razoul grins evilly]
- Genie: [commentating a show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Magical] Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by Sand! It's everywhere! Get used to it.
- Genie: Oh no, the crowd is parting. Who's coming? IT'S MOSES!
- Aladdin: Where is he?
- Genie: (turns into Pumbaa from The Lion King) Hakuna Matata! (turns back, looks scared) Whoa. I was having an out-of-movie experience.
