Alien Loves Predator

Alien Loves Predator, or ALP, (2004-) is a webcomic written by Bernie Hou. It spoofs the Alien Vs. Predator franchise. Reversing the adversarial relationship depicted in Alien vs. Predator, ALP presents an Alien (named Abe) and a Predator (named Preston) as friends and roommates in current-day New York City.

#1

Abe: "Staten Island"? Now they're just making up places.

#2

Preston: OK, Abe just went to hit on some girls on a blanket next to us. Look for them fleeing in disgust.

#7

Abe: You know what I'd do if I could cloak?

Preston: Sneak into girl's locker rooms.

Abe: Fuck yeah!

Preston: You do that now!

#8

Preston: What celebrity do I most resemble?

Abe: Jennifer Love Hewitt.

#9

Preston: What is my favorite word?

[Abe hits him]

Preston: Ow! What the fuck, you fuck! Fucking smacking me in the fucking head! Fuck that fucking hurt! Come here you fuck, I'm gonna fucking... oh, thanks.

#14

Abe: Why don't they have weed dating? I'd be all over that shit.

Preston: I've got something you should try. It's called "Carbon dating"

#16

Woman: Why aren't you wearing pants?

Abe: Phew! I was afraid you'd ask me something awkward.

#20

Man: Welcome to the open house! Help yourself to some crack!

#23

Preston: Who's your daddy?

Man: Ah, we meet again. Only this time, the pupil has become the master.

Preston: The correct answer was "The Yankees! The Yankees are my daddy!"

#24

Abe: Chicks dig dangerous guys!

Preston: You don't need any help convincing women you're unsafe.

#25

Abe: Will this hurt more or less than having a gerbil shoved up your ass?

#29

William Hung Tattoo: Let me eat his liver!

#31

Abe: Do they have George Bush the third's inauguration?

Preston: Dammit, don't even joke about that!

---

Preston: They have the tenth anniversary Paris Hilton sex tape "Paris falls for a space para-lesbian aboard the starship Tender-Thighs."

Abe: Hey, she used my script!

#36

Abe: Worship my penis!

#42

Preston: Your mom's on the phone!

Abe: No, your moms on the phone!

#64

Preston: Ok, is it daytime or nighttime right now?

Short Taxi Driver: Uh, you mean right now?

Preston: Goodbye.

Short Taxi Driver: No, wait! Wouldn't you rather know what colour my floor mats are? Or what a dachsund smells like?

#87

Preston: For the last time, you're not a ninja. I know you're there.

Preston:... You're just lying on the floor, Abe.

Abe: Shit!

#89

Woman: I hope tonight's Sex And The City is the one where Carrie obesseses over shoes! And men!

Man: I have white headphones. Please rob me.

Man in orange shirt: I am wearing a bright orange shirt. I am not from here.

Abe: I. Am. I-ron man. Da-nanananananana...

#90

Preston: Uh, I think you should download a different ringtone, Abe.

Abe: Why? What's wrong with-

Jesus: "Were!!" It's "What if god were one of us!!

#91

Abe: Smile!

Preston: Wait, did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one.

Abe: Yeah, see, I just made my phone look like a ham sandwich!

Preston: That's incredibly useful.

Abe: Hey, a ham sandwich! I need to take a picture o' this!

#93

Preston: I can do 70 pushups with my penis!

#96

Preston: Thank y-- Hey! What the-- This is "Predator seeking Predator"!

What the hell is going on in this cover shot??

#115

Voice mail: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Say 'clean' or 'soiled' underwear.

Preston: GRRAAARRGGHH

Voice mail: The rest of this menu will be presented in interpretative dance.

#121

Abe: Now I suppose you want some dating pointers.

Preston: This'll be good.

Abe: Girls like it when you use a fly swatter to give 'em a little swat on the cheek.

Abe:Oh! You didn't think I meant butt cheek did you? That...that'd be be inappropriate.

#121

Preston: Man, even Jesus is groaning at your mom jokes now.

Abe: To Jesus Okay, your mom-

Jesus:--Is a well documented virgin. And?

Jesus: Zing.

#121

Front page: JESUS: YOU'RE ALL BLOOD SUCKING CANNIBALS AND I HATE YOU

External links

• The Official Site