Alvin and the Chipmunks (film)
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Alvin and the Chipmunks is a 2007 film that was based on the TV series of the same name.
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[edit] Alvin Seville
- That's it! I can't take this anymore. I can't! I give up! I am sick of struggling for survival, competing with gophers and earthworms and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts. And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid tree!!
- [while riding in the car] Can I stand in your lap and steer..please?
- Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smells like sweat socks? [singing] Dave likes to wear dirty underwear with little hairs.
- [after Dave threw them out] Don't do this, Dave. We can gnaw right through this door!
- Don't say "family" in front of Dave. It gives him gas. Like, "clear the room" gas.
- Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Missed that chipmunk cuz you're slow.
- Yipi kai yay mamacita!
- Hey, Ian! Kiss my furry cheeks!
- Dave, you drive like a sleepy old bear!
- [while trying to open the cupboard] Come on, baby, come to papa. [he sees all the food in there] Hello, goregous.
- [playing a racecar video game that "Uncle" Ian gave him] Come on, pal! You drive like my grandmother! Get a wheelchair, move over!
[edit] Simon Seville
- [when the sink overflows] Dave? Quick question... how do you feel about an indoor pool?
- We're talking chipmunks, Dave. We can get out of a cat-carrier. Not even hard to do.
- [to Theodore] Save some horn for the rest of us, man.
- We've hit the mother load!
- [talking about Theodore] Sorry, he fell out of the tree at birth.
- [spits the "raisin" out] BLEAH!! [to Theodore angrily] You owe me big-time!
- [about the housekeeper Ian hired] She's also a masseuse. [purrs]....
[edit] Theodore Seville
- Maybe we should take a break. [an aacorn hits him on the head]
- [when a tree is about to be cut down] Guys! I think he made it angry!
- I still have baby fat, you know!
- Ooh, muffins!
- [honks horn] I'm a good beeper.
- [about Dave] He doesn't want a family.
- [while eating food from the cabinets] This is the greatest day of my life!
- [after he gulps chocolate in his mouth] Has anyone tried the chocolate meatballs?
- [sees what Ian has for him and the other Chipmunks] I love toffee!
[edit] David "Dave" Seville
- [his trademark yell] ALVIN!!!
- I'm awake! I'm up. [looks at his watch] And I'm late!
- [to himself] Keys, bag... pants! I need pants. Pants are essential.
- [talking to Simon on the phone] Look, if you flood my house, you're dead. Out on the street! Capisce?!
- If you love Uncle Ian so much and you don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?!
[edit] Ian Hawke
- There's no sense in writing songs that no one is ever, ever going to sing.
- Welcome to Jett Records.
- PEACE! We out!
- Hey. If you guys behave, maybe I'll let you call me Uncle Ian again. Deal?
- ¡Madre de Dios! NO!
[edit] Other characters
- You three sound like you've been gargling nails.
- Doctor
[edit] Dialogue
- Alvin: And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid tree!!
- [buzzing noise]
- Simon: Whoa, what's happening?
- Theodore: Guys! I think he made it angry!
- Ian: Your song sucks, Dave.
- Dave: What?
- Ian: Your song? It's awful. I hate it. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin? Fergie? Not a chance. I need something new, I need something fresh.
- Theodore: Where are we?
- Alvin: Well, I think they remodeled our forest. I like it. Stylish, yet functional--
- Theodore: Uh, but where did the mountains go?
- Simon: Give me a break. We're in a building, Theodore.
- Alvin: Okay, this wasn't my best idea.
- Simon: Look out!
- [scooter swerves past them]
- Alvin: Maniac!
[a guide dog starts barking at them]
- Alvin: Back to the tree, back to the tree!
- Simon: [as a dolly heads toward them] Back to the dog, back to the dog!
- Alvin: [noticing the basket of muffins Dave is carring] Basket, three o'clock!
- Theodore: Which way is three o'clock?
- Simon: This way!!
- Dave: [puts basket with muffins and chipmunks inside in trash]
- Alvin: Gross! Is this his house?
- Simon: No. It's his garbage can.
- Alvin: Oh.
- Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello. I'm Simon. The smart one. He's Alvin.
- Alvin: The awesomest one.
- Theodore: And I'm Theodore.
- Dave: Oh, nice to meet you. Now get outta my house!
- Theodore: But... we talk.
- Dave: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy. Unnatural. Somewhat evil.
- Alvin: I kinda liked him better when he was unconcious.
- Dave: Are you guys always like this?
- Simon: We're kids, Dave.
- Dave: Well, where are your parents?
- Simon: When you're a chipmunk, your parents take care of you for a week, then they take off.
- Alvin: Our parents were hippies. They left early to join a commune.
- Dave: Off to bed. Come on. We start work tomorrow. I want you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by eight.
- Alvin: My tail isn't bushy till nine.
- Dave: Not my problem. Now go to sleep.
- Dave: What was that?!
- Simon: Uh, nothing, just... a little stage fright? [whimpering]
- Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode!
- Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave! Why do we have to sing for that guy anyway?
- Dave: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money and I hate my job and you're staying at my place so you owe me.
- Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.
- Dave: Yeah, that helps. [sighs] Never mind, I'm late for work.
- Theodore: [excitedly] Ooh-ooh-ooh, Can we go with you?
- Dave: What, so that you can mess that up, too? Uh-uh, you're going home.
- Simon: [on phone to Dave] A little situation here, Dave. Theodore vacuumed up Alvin.
- Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Alvin!
- Alvin: [shouts from inside vacuum] Dave! Help!
- Dave: [on phone to Simon] What?!
- Simon: [on phone to Dave] Well, at least it wasn't the garbage disposal. [giggles nervously]
- Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Just stay calm! [gets sucked into vacuum] AAAH!
- Simon: [on phone to Dave] And there goes Theodore.
- Dave: [on seeing weird pellet] Oh my God! Theodore, did you just...
- Theodore: Um, um...
- Simon: It's a raisin, Dave.
- Dave: Prove it.
- Simon: [surprised, puts it in mouth] Mmm-hmm.
- Dave: Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all of you guys. Where's Alvin? Alvin!
- Simon: [spits "raisin" out] BLEAH!! [to Theodore] You owe me big time!
- Dave: [calling] Alvin?!
- Alvin: [takes a shower in dishwasher; muffled sings:] Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me...
- [Dave opens the dishwasher]
- Alvin: [screams] There's this new thing: It's called "knocking"!
- Dave: Get out!
- Alvin: Uh, I'm waiting for the rinse cycle.
- Dave: Get out! [pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher]
- Alvin: Whoa, whoa! I'm takin' a shower, here!
- Dave: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what? Today would be at the top of the list!
- Alvin: And it's still early.
- Dave: Clam it, sudsy!
- Alvin: [trying to uncork a bottle] Stupid... cork... doesn't...
- [cork comes loose and goes flying]
- Alvin: Whoa!
- [cork smashes glass on china cabinet]
- Claire: Oh!
- Alvin: Yikes! [giggles nervously] Oops.
- Dave: Not gonna say it.
- Alvin: Uh-oh!
- Simon: Good grief.
- [champagne pours all over the floor]
- Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?
- Dave: Nope!
- [drink reaches power strip; electricity buzzes; smoke issues from power strip]
- Dave and Claire: [yelp]
- [power goes out]
- Dave: I'm gonna say it. [yells] ALVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!
- Alvin: Okay!!!
- Dave: Squirrels can't talk!
- Alvin: Whoa, wap-ap-ap-oh. Watch it, genius. We're Chipmunks. Chip-Munks!
- Dave: Chipmunks can't talk either! [turns on lights]
- Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.
- Dave: This is crazy! [closes his eyes, talking to himself] I am not talking to chipmunks. I am not talking to chipmunks.
- Alvin: So, how's that working for you, Dave!?
- Dave: Uh, h-how do you know my name?
- Alvin: I'll take that one. We read your mail. By accident.
- Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. You ever hear of a credit rating?