Amazing Race

From Wikiquote

Jump to: navigation, search

The Amazing Race is an American television reality gameshow.

Contents

[edit] Season 1

[edit] The Race Begins

Drew: You have to hit six numbers to get a live human being on the phone.
Kevin: It's amazing that you even got up this morning and tied your shoes.
Drew: Nothing's free, Kevin! We're in Africa! You go to the Statue of Liberty, is the guy giving these things [maps] away for free? For cryin' out loud! Free!
Drew: Zambia. That's where we are.
Kevin: That's Namibia, jackass.
Drew: You have to approach people in an affable, friendly way! You don't do it like you're in New York!
Leslie: We're in, what, seventh place?
Kim: I don't know, I can't do math right now.
Kim: God, there are a lot of bugs out in the jungle. Go figure.
Kevin: Swing, you fat bastard, swing!
Ana: Once a moron, always a moron.
Matt: Well, you fell in love with this moron.

[edit] Divide And Conquer

Karyn: When we win the money, he has to marry me.
Drew: What's this elephant?
Kevin: What elephant?
Drew: This little statue here.
Kevin: It's probably a little...a little tchotchke!
Kevin: You're gonna get the window, you jerk.
Drew: Don't worry about it.
Kevin: You think you're whatchamacallit from Wild Kingdom. Jackass.
Kevin: Is that an impala?
Drew: Get the camera, get the camera!
Kevin: It's a goat, it's a goat.
Leslie: Who wants to go to Paris? I don't want to go to Paris. I hate Paris.
Leslie: I'm looking for four [tickets]. And she's [Amie] not with me.
Guido: How the hell can they help us? We lived in Paris for two years!
Drew: How are you, buddy? You hangin' in there? Your legs hurtin'?
Kevin: I'm an idiot. I'm a friggin' idiot.
Drew: That's my boy. Always keepin' a sense of humor.
Amie: You're a fat bitch!
Leslie: She screamed at me like she'd scream at her boyfriend.
Paul: How do they jump in our cab and just take it? In New York, they would have grabbed her out by the hair.
Karyn: I'm really disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed.
Lenny: What did you say?
Karyn: I'm disappointed.
Lenny: Well, that ain't nothing new.
Emily: The only monument I know is that Arc d'Whatever.
Leslie: I don't know where that little cute couple that hates our guts are.
Karyn: You're not going to shake my hand? We're not out, and you're not going to shake my hand?

[edit] Home For Some

Rob: Life is a game of minutes.
Frank: Onward to victory!
Amie: [while sleeping outside] Ah, this is the life.
Kevin: We have no food, we have no water...we're all set.
Drew: Good night, Kevin.
Kevin: Good night, Drew. [pauses] Good night, John-Boy.
Nancy: Why didn't you go to the hotel?
Amie: What hotel?
Drew: I just don't think the city's [Paris] anything special. I rate it no better than SoHo.
Drew: Geez, why did I think it was gonna be an old guy who looked like Ben Franklin?
Joe: I can't wait to see the big pendulum!
Margarita: Do you need me?
Frank: I just need your brain, I don't need your emotions.
Rob: The Guidos try to hold other people back with deceit and trickery.
Joe: Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey, big strong guys like you, how come you're not doing the steps? Don’t you need a little aerobic exercise?
Joe: They don’t know Paris, and they don't know where they're going.
Joe: It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years.
Drew: Who's better than us, here, on top of the South of France? With everybody lookin' at our behinds, no less.
Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: Welcome. You are --
Joe: We're team number three!
Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: You are team number four.
Brenda: Who knew that there were two Foucault pendulums in Paris?

[edit] Colossal Showdown

Margarita: It wasn't about not working together.
Joe: It's about winning now. It's about winning and not letting anybody else win.
Margaretta: David and I have been married for forty years. We're just doing our normal thing. There's nothing on this trip that will make or break us.
Bill: Control the game, period. Play the game our way. Group Guido arranged the whole passage. No one can leave without this ticket. I controlled the group, intimidated the whole group by speaking French for two hours to the people that were there, also leaving doubt in their mind what I was doing. The other contestants? Of course, we're playing them like a violin, you know?
Lenny: I want to rip their heads off and show them their hearts.
Drew: What does it say? "Go Here"? Oh. I thought it said "Go Home".
Paul: They were rippin' my skin off.
Amie: Really? Mine was pretty nice.
Drew: You saw what that was like in Midnight Express.
Joe: The first circle inside the big concentric circle!
Emily: [after lighting the Coliseum on fire] Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, stop!
Kevin: I thought I heard him. You can't miss that mouth.
Kevin: Take the elevator to the Coliseum floor!
Frank: Pit Of Death, here I come.
Amie: I'll do it. I gotta pee, but I'll do it.
Amie: Olympic torch, kiddos!
Phil: David and Margaretta, you're the last team to arrive at this leg. You've been eliminated, I'm sorry to tell you that.
Dave: And I'm sorry to hear it. But I want to tell you, this is a tough group to compete against, and I don't think it's any disgrace to lose to them. They're all great people, and we did our best, and we wish them lots of luck.

[edit] Desert Storm

[edit] Whatever It Takes To Win

[edit] Triumph And Loss

[edit] Competition To The Fullest

[edit] The Unexpected Twist

[edit] To The Physical And Mental Limit

[edit] Flight To The Last Minutes

[edit] Race To The Finish Line, Part 1

[edit] Race To The Finish Line, Part 2

[edit] Season 2

[edit] The World Is Waiting: Go!

[edit] Help Me, I'm American!

[edit] My Alarm Clock Didn't Go Off!

[edit] This Game Is About Minutes

[edit] Welcome To The World Of Being Human

[edit] I'm Gonna Take His Girl

[edit] I'm Gonna Throw Up On Phil's Shoes

[edit] I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!

[edit] I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot! (II)

[edit] Ready To Lose Our Lives

[edit] It's Hammer Time

[edit] Follow That Plane!

[edit] Follow That Plane! (II)

Blake: Help me, I'm American!
Claire: My alarm clock didn't go off!
Shola: This game is about minutes.
Mary: Welcome to the world of being human.
Oswald: I'm gonna throw up on Phil's shoes.
Wil: I'm not a miner!
Tara: No, you're an idiot!
Chris: It's hammer time.
Wil: Follow that plane!

[edit] Season 3

[edit] What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open?

[edit] This Looks Like The Path Straight To Hell!

[edit] You Always Just Forget About Me!

[edit] Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face!

[edit] What Happens If I Slip? Am I Just Hanging Off A Cliff?

[edit] I'm A Much Better Liar Than You Are

[edit] I'm Supposed To Be Indebted To Her For The Rest Of The Race?!

[edit] This Is More Important Than Your Pants Falling Down!

[edit] Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!

[edit] Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?! (II)

[edit] Don't Try To Play The Moralist Now!

[edit] They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us

[edit] They're Slithering To The Finish Line Like The Rest Of Us (II)

[edit] Season 4

[edit] Cheaters Never Win...And They Cheated!

[edit] It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come First Served...And We're Bigger

[edit] I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards

[edit] Check Your Tires Because...Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen!

[edit] You Are Just Deliberately Trying To Make Us Lose!

[edit] I Could Have Never Been Prepared For What I'm Looking At Right Now

[edit] We're Going Down The Wrong Side Of The Freeway...And The Lights Are Off!

[edit] The Princess Reminded Me Of My Grandmother

[edit] We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

[edit] That's Me. That's My Face.

[edit] Such a Nice Pheromone Smell To You; Just Makes Me Want To Stay Close

[edit] He's A Couple Of Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack

[edit] It's Like Adam Building His First House!

[edit] Season 5

[edit] Clearly I'm More Intelligent Than You

[edit] It Just Turned Ugly Right Now

Mirna: The prostatute would know where the discothecque is wouldn't she?

Karen: Mirna & Charla are at a great disadvantage-

Linda: And their kickin' our butts!

[edit] I Got Electroctued!

[edit] Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

[edit] Are You Good At Puzzles?

Marshal: Stop looking at the camel.

[edit] Why Can't We Get A Camel?

[edit] Are You Sure This Is Safe?

[edit] I'm Going To Jail

[edit] If You're Gonna Whine, Just Shut Up!

[edit] If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

[edit] It's Okay, Run Them Over!

Colin: My ox is broken!

[edit] You Just Made Me A Millionaire

[edit] Season 6

[edit] The Game's Afoot

[edit] I'm Not His Wife, He Doesn't Need To Yell At Me

[edit] Counting Bears Is Not Rocket Science

[edit] What If It Isn't Sanitary?

[edit] Quit Following Us

[edit] They Probably Should Have Some Counseling

[edit] Phil Is A Choo-Choo Charlie

[edit] One Of You, I'm Gonna Break In Half

[edit] Tell My Mom I Love Her

[edit] Are There Instructions On Donkey-Handling?

[edit] It Always Comes Down To The Details

[edit] You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate

[edit] 4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles

[edit] Season 7

[edit] Courteous? This Is A Race!

Ryan: Were about do take a zip like down the mountain. Were gonna be the first ones to load test it.

Ryan: hey look out for the cactuses!

[edit] The Whole Country Hates Me

Lynn: Oh my god I just got totally hated.

[edit] Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?

Rob and Amber steals Debbie and Bianca's taxi

Cab Driver: I'm waiting for them.

Rob: Oh no, it's okay. We'll take them. We're going to go with you. How much? How much did they pay?

Cab driver: Four.

Rob: I'm paying ten. Open it up.

Rob and Amber drives away with the cab.

Rob: That'll teach them for accusing someone of lying.

Bianca: Debbie, do you see a cab?

Debbie: No.

Bianca: This is retarded. No we got to catch another cab.

Phil Keoghan: A roadblock is a task in only one person may perform. In this roadblock, that person has to eat a traditional Argentine meal. They consist of cow ribs, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow udder, an entire kidney, and part of a cow's saliva gland. Each person's portion weighs four pounds. When they finish eating, they'll get their next clue.

Deana takes the meat roadblock

Lynn: Go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, go Deana it's your vomit, go Deana.

Deana: What is all this stuff? I'm not going to-

Ray: Do your best.

Deana: My stomach ain't big enough for this.

Ray: We've made a terrible mistake.

[edit] What A Gaucho You Are

Alex and Lynn, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce and Brian and Greg are on the first flight to Buenos Aires getting ready to depart.

Alex: Rob and Amber didn't make it, yay!

Lynn: I'm so excited that they didn't make it. Survive that.

(Rob and Amber gets on the plane for Buenos Aires)

Brian: No freaking way.

Greg: That's horsecrap!

Rob: Ron, how's your stomach? (laughing)

Kelly: Rob's strategy to quit worked and that just made me sick.

Lynn: If that had been any other team, they would have literally gotten an applause; but the fact that it was Rob and Amber, it was just terrible.

Alex: I hate them. I hate them so much.

Lynn: The bottom line is they're (Rob and Amber) kind of like an STD. You gotta protect yourself from them and the only way you can do it is just keep yourself away from them.

Ray shows contempt for Meredith and Gretchen.

Ray: Those people don't belong in this game with us.

Ray: I'm not losing to a 70-year-old man and his wife.

Susan and Partrick's boat stops working.

Patrick: We already know that we're in last place and that was the end of Patrick and Susan.

[edit] I've Been Wanting A Facelift For A Long Time

(Ray accidentally hits Deana's head with the pounding stick in the food and water detour)

Deana: Ow, Ray!

Ray: Deana

Deana: You could at least apologize.

Ray: The problem is that we don't work together.

Deana: You can do this yourself.

Ray: That's right, give up!

[edit] Houston, We Have An Elephant

Kelly: You told me to "shut the 'F' up".

Ron: No, I didn't!

Kelly: You piece of trash redneck.

[edit] They Saved The Eyeball

[edit] Mow 'Em Down Like Grass

Rob and Amber arrives first at the Lucknow mat only to find out that this is a double-length leg.

Phil Keoghan: Rob and Amber, Welcome to Lucknow.

Rob and Amber: Thank you.

Phil Keoghan: You guys probably think that this is the end of the leg,

Amber: But?

Phil Keoghan: I don't want to hold you up. I have your other clue.

Amber: Are you serious?

Phil Keoghan: You're still racing. This leg is not over.

[edit] We Have A Bad Elephant

Uchenna and Joyce reaches the Fast Forward and finds out they have to participate in a head shaving ritual.

Joyce: I knew that was coming. I fricking knew it!

Joyce: (Sobbing) It's already gone.

Amber's camel becomes uncontrollable.

Amber: Go! go! go! No! No!

Gretchen: Good, good he's going in the other direction. Go around the track the other way. (laughing)

Rob: Oh God, please no. Oh God no.

Gretchen: We've got an obstinate camel!

[edit] We Got A Gnome! We Got A Gnome!

[edit] The Devil Made Me Do It

Amber: We have no idea what a dervish is.

Rob: I think it's a topless woman.

Ron: She (Kelly) really surprised me and I think I've seen everything that I want to see out of her on this race.

[edit] Five Continents, 25 Cities, And More Than 40,000 Miles

(Rob and Amber's cab is pulled over by the police)

Joyce: You gotta cooperate with the police. That's too bad.

Rob: That cop probably just caused us a million dollars.

The final three teams are in Jamaica performing the final detour of the race building rafts and Ron and Kelly are falling behind.

Kelly: I want you to look at everybody else. They're a lot farther than us and look what they're doing.

Ron: I understand that. I've never built one of these before. That's what I'm trying to explain to you. When you figure out how to build one, you tell me.

Kelly: Smart "A".

[edit] Season 8

[edit] Go, Mommy, Go! We Can Beat Them!

[edit] How Do We Know We Aren't Going To Get Shot?

[edit] I Don't Kiss, I Make Out!

[edit] Think Like An Office Chair

[edit] We're Getting Out Of The Country, Girls

[edit] I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

[edit] You Look Ridiculous

[edit] How's That Face Feel?

[edit] Don't Talk To Me Like I Was An Animal Or Something

[edit] The Family Christmas Card

[edit] 25 Days, 50 Cities, And More Than 600 Consecutive Hours As A Family

[edit] Season 9

[edit] Here We Go, Baby, Off To Win A Million Dollars

[edit] I'm Filthy And I Love It

[edit] I Am In Russia, Playing With The Dolls

[edit] It's Not Over Til The Phil Sings

[edit] Good Thing I Took That Human Anatomy Class

[edit] Sleep Deprivation Is Really Starting To Irritate Me

[edit] Herculean Effort For Some Herculean Dudes

[edit] Here Comes The Bedouin!

[edit] Do You Know How Much Running I've Done Today, Phil?

[edit] Man, They Should Have Used Faked Names

[edit] I Think The Money Likes Me

[edit] Five Continents, Ten Countries And More Than 50,000 Miles

[edit] T-Tow

[edit] Season 10

[edit] Real Fast! Quack, Quack!

[edit] Can Horses Smell Fear?

[edit] Oh, Wow! It's Like One Of Those Things You See On TV!

[edit] I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing

[edit] I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh!

[edit] Maybe Steven Seagal Will See Me And Want Me To Be In One Of His Movies

[edit] I Wonder If This Is Going To Make My Fingers Pickle

[edit] He Can't Swim, But He Can Eat Cow Lips

[edit] Being Polite Sucks Sometimes

[edit] Lookin' Like A Blue-Haired Lady On A Sunday Drive

[edit] We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches

[edit] Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now

[edit] Say Your Deepest Prayers Ever

[edit] Season 11 All-Stars

[edit] I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

Drew: We're five years older, five years more out of shape.

Kevin: I was a circle then. I'm an oval now, I suppose.

John Vito: I've had enough of Rob and Amber. I think America may have also.

Joyce: I can't believe we're doing this again!

Uchenna: This is the chance of a lifetime twice.

[edit] Season 12

[edit] General Phil-isms

  • Phil Keoghan: <insert names here> (long dramatic pause) You are the last team to arrive. I am sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race.
  • Phil Keoghan: A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons.
  • Phil Keoghan: The world is waiting for you. Good luck. Travel safe. GO!
  • "It's like they choose to be poor here." Kendra from Amazing Race 6 (in Ethiopia)
  • "Lift up your spirit before you piss me off." Joseph to Monica in Amazing Race 9.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Amazing_Race"
Personal tools