American Idol
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American Idol is a popular reality television program of the United States.
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[edit] Simon Cowell
- (To Elliott Yamin) In five seasons, I think, potentially, you are the best male vocalist we've ever had.
- Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf.
- Eleven year old girls will adore that.
- Have you ever been called precocious?
- It was like some precocious little girl pretending to be Beyonce.
- Once again, you have won the granny vote.
- Nobody under ninety would appreciate that.
- The problem is that you're 17 yet you're trying to sound 50.
- I’m just trying to put a tiny bit of reality back into the show here, which is a singing competition!
- I don't mean to be rude but you look like The Incredible Hulk's wife.
- I don't think you're the best singer, but you're interesting. I kind of prefer you to last year's winner, actually.
- I know that Mozart & Beethoven are the experts here, however, Mr. Naive Ignorant Simon doesn’t think it was (well)!
- I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it.
- I think that by ignoring the show you're ignoring the audience who put you there.
- I think it was a complete and utter mess. It didn't work — it was all over the place. You were forgetting your words. I mean, it was "We Will Rock You Gently". I really, really, really hated that.
- I think he knows how to articulate something that people are entertained by and still be true to the message he's trying to send, ... very aware of himself.
- I think you're going to be a very successful model. And it's best to be great at something rather than not so good at something.
- I think you just booked your plane ticket home.
- I thought the song was boring. It is "American Idol" and you've got to be as broad as possible.
- If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.
- In my opinion, this was your best performance so far.
- It was like ordering a ferocious guard dog for your home and getting delivered a poodle wearing a leather jacket instead.
- It's a lesson learned. You have to stand out from the crowd. You didn't stand out from the crowd, simple as that.
- It's everything I love about reality shows, which is the good, the weird and the completely and utterly disillusioned.
- My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't.
- Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.
- That was terrible, I mean, just awful. You have to have a talent to progress it. I don't believe Cassandra has a singing talent. She's completely wasting her money. Sorry.
- This is a singing competition, not a dancing competition!
- This really is La La Land.
- This was the only performance which stands up in the real world — tonight you were the standard.
- Why are you having a normal conversation with him? This is a dairy farmer dressed as a woman.
- You and Latin music go together like chocolate ice cream and an onion.
- You are a funny little thing!
- You are a saucy little thing aren't you?
- You are the worst singer in America.
- You are the worst singer in New York.
- You are the worst singer in the world.
- You are the worst singer I've ever heard in my life.
- You are what we call a naughty little minx.
- You're useless, I'm bored - yes or no?
- You can't sing; you can't dance; so what do you want me to say? (Towards William Hung)
- You've got quite a good voice, the problem I have is this looks to me like 10 years ago.
- You have just as much Latin flair as a polar bear.
- You have just invented a new form of torture.
- You sung like you were on a dentist's chair.
- If you won this competition, you will be the end of the American Music Industry.
- There it was one great part of it, it was the end.
- Other Door
- Lets try a new tactic(sarcastically)Incredible!!
- Sometimes I like putting sugar in my tea to make my tea sweeter. That was equivalent to putting eleven spoonfuls of sugar in it.
[edit] Dialogue
- Cowell: Jennifer, here's a new word, that was: Extraordinary!
- Contestant: Thank You!(laughing)
- Cowell: Unfortunately, extraordinarily bad!
- Cowell: You sing like the Spice Girls.
- Contestant: Thanks.
- Cowell: Unfortunately that wasn't a compliment.
- Seacrest: Any advice on the high heels, Simon?
- Cowell: You should know, Ryan.
- Seacrest: Stay out of my closet!
- Cowell: Come out!
- Seacrest: This is about the top twelve, Simon, not your wishes
[edit] Paula Abdul
- I think you're the next sex symbol.
- Elliott, you're one funky white boy.
- I just want to squeeze your little head off and hang it from my rear view mirror. (to David Archuleta)
- Simon, Shut up!
- You are this handsome, evolved performer. You are an American Idol!
- You work hard for the money.
[edit] Randy Jackson
- My boy can blow too!
- You're one of the most natural, great singers I've heard in a long time.
- I'm sorry dawg, it just didn't work for me.
- That was da bomb.
- For me man, that was real corny.
- That was a little pitchy for me dawg.
- Dawg pound, we got a hot one tonight!
- This one is a hot one.
- Jordin, listen. That was the bomb. Very in control. You're like a pro and you're seventeen! I'm like, WHAT!?
[edit] Ryan Seacrest
- I’ve discovered your Hollywood Body Double...Chicken Little!
- They don’t serve biscuits at those restaurants.
- He's happy! He's happy!
- (to Simon) You're done! Shhh!
[edit] Dialogue
- Seacrest: Any advice on the high heels, Simon?
- Cowell: You should know, Ryan.
- Seacrest: Stay out of my closet!
- Cowell: Come out!
[edit] Contestants
- I'm going home to my goats.
- Heather Cox, season 5 semifinals.
- I have the community snotrag. You can have it when I'm done.
- What is CAl-A-MARI??
- Kellie, season 5, on Queen results night.
- I learned two words a long time ago that help out a lot: Screw it. If something's bothering you, don't dwell on it. Just let it go. Worrying ain't gonna do nothing but make it worse.
- Bucky, season 5.
- It's music, man. If music is in your heart, you feel it, you play it, you sing it, you perform it, you bust your buns doing it. That is what it's all about!
- Taylor, season 5.
- This song is a great song for me, because I have memories, I don't really have love thoughts.
- Paris, on love songs week, season 5
- I can be the first American Idol who doesn't sing!!!
- Im Unique!!
- I was so lost for so long. I'm thinkin' about how long it's taken to get here, to get to this point, ya know? And it hasn't been easy. I feel like I was doing what I was born to do, and I've always known that. It's just that, that I don't know how to get there. And now that I'm here, it's like wow!
- Elliott, season 5.
[edit] Dialogue
- (actual dialogue heard between two contestants in the "bottom 3", season 5, episode #177, 4/12/06)
