Aqua Something You Know Whatever
Aqua Something You Know Whatever is the alternative title to the ninth season of the animated television series Aqua Teen Hunger Force (September 9, 2001 – present). The ninth season premiered on June 24, 2012 and ended August 26, 2012 with a total of ten episodes.
Chicken and Beans
- Celeste: Brought all of them. No case I want to export a different sound.
[At the end of the episode, Shake finds that he is sued for copyright infrigment of his song, Brushetta Nights (parody of Big City Nights by Scorpions) and is to appear at court. He appears wearing a______________
- Shake: "FORKS YES! We'll see who has the last sting in COURT, SCORPIONS!"
Rocket Horse Jet Chicken
- Meatwad: What's Jet Chicken like in private moments?
- Rocket Horse: You really wanna know?
- Meatwad: Yeah, you know I do! I'm a huge fan, man!
- Rocket Horse: Well, uh...he's kinda paranoid, he has an unhealthy obsession with food, he gets angry at the drop of a hat and starts suing everyone in sight. But, you know, for the most part he's a......fat lazy piece of ****.
- Meatwad: Dang.
- Rocket Horse: Hey, there he is, Jet Chicken. Oh, so glad you're back, man
- Jet Chicken: If you expect me to sign autographs all afternoon in the hot sun, then I expect toilet tissues and scented candles in my private toilet area!
- Rocket Horse: *laughs sarcastically* That's really funny Jet Chicken. But, uh, hey, we got a fan here.
- Jet Chicken: Want my autograph?
- Meatwad: Yeah, absolutely! Can you make it out to, "My biggest fan, Meatwad"?
- Jet Chicken: ...Oh, I'd love to, but we're only paid to sign until 4:00, and it's already 4:08 JERRY! **** Jerry.
- Rocket Horse: Whoa whoa whoa...
- Jet Chicken: Where's that piece of ****?!
- Rocket Horse: ...*chuckles* calm down now. He said he had to go to the bank.
- Jet Chicken: **** spending his days at the bank, you and I are out here signing autographs at a parking lot that's hotter than the surface of the ****ING SUN!
- Rocket Horse: Hey, ya mind helping me pack up the inflatable, here.
- Meatwad: I'll help
- Rocket Horse: No, him. I want it to be him, all right? I gotta do this myself every ******* time!
- Jet Chicken: Rocket Horse, I will help as soon as I get out of the bathroom.
- Rocket Horse: You just went to the bathroom.
- Jet Chicken: I know, but I think all those soda refills really did a number on that hero. Why do you think I picked up the chili dog on the way home? *grunt* Had to throw most of it out. Greek Special, my ass.
- Jet Chicken: *in the bathroom* Ooh! Fan! Fan! Come to me at once!
- Meatwad: Whatcha need Jet Chicken? You want me to gobble for justice? *makes gobbling noises*
- Jet Chicken: ...No, I-I don't know what that is. Listen I need a wet vac in here. *brown toilet water spills out of the bathroom* This-this thing's overflowing.
- Rocket Horse: There's no wet vac out here. All right? Jerry didn't provide one.
- Jet Chicken: **** Jerry. Of course he didn't provide one! Fan!
- Meatwad: I'm here.
- Jet Chicken: I've got a job for you when I get out of here.
- Meatwad: Okey dokey, just tell me when.
- Jet Chicken: Actually...come on in here. I need help getting out of here. That's all I need to do is slip on one of these things and break my elbow again.
[Meatwad rings a doorbell. There is no answer]
- Jet Chicken: Ring it again.
- Meatwad: *rings it three times* ...I don't think no one's home.
- Jet Chicken: He's home. His Jeep's here. Ring it again.
- Meatwad: *rings again* ...Maybe he's asleep.
- Jet Chicken: How would you know?! Are you in there?!
- Rocket Horse: Ah c'mon, lay off Jet. He's doing you a favor.
- Jet Chicken: Look, if he sees me on his lawn waving a gun around, he's gonna pretend not to be home.
- Meatwad: M-maybe you oughtta hide better over there behind the bushes.
- Jet Chicken: Oh, good idea fan. And maybe I oughtta pull out Ultra Beak and show you how it works. One peck to the brain; it's over!
[Jet Chicken fires his gun in the air and an alarm goes off]
- Rocket Horse: Okay. Great. Now he knows we're out here.
- Jet Chicken: Rocket Horse, kick the door in!
- Rocket Horse: You kick the door in!
- Jet Chicken: *farts* Oh god. Did someone see a bathroom around here? *notices the nearby Jeep* Ah, sunroof. *climbs on top of it* Well, looky looky looky. *starts defecating in it* Ahhh...Mr. Fancy, with your big house in the suburbs!
- Meatwad: Is this, like, the headquarters of some supervillain or something?
- Jet Chicken: [crapping in the sunroof of a car] Ooh. No, wait a minute. Nope, not quite done yet.
- Rocket Horse: It's the doctor who fouled up his gastric bypass.
- Jet Chicken: Go ahead, tell him how the damn thing leaks every time I eat.
- Rocket Horse: It's...it's not. This is what happens when you don't exercise and you order queso with everything.
- Jet Chicken: Did you bring paper?
- Meatwad: Got the receipt from dinner, but I kinda need that 'cause you guys said you'd reimburse me
- Jet Chicken: *wipes himself with it and throws it to the ground* Ooh, thanks buddy.
- Meatwad: Ah man.
- Doctor: Listen, man, I'm sorry you feel like I botched your operation, but the judge and the jury both agreed that I was drunk, and you pulled a gun on me and made me perform surgery on you because you didn't want to pay full price.
- Paul: I hope you die with the devil's dick in your mouth in Hell!
- Paul: Well, I'm with her, getting ice cream.
- Frylock: Mm-hmm.
- Paul: And my dad is there, and I love my dad, but he's always with us.
- Frylock: Oh, yeah.
- Paul: And it's weird because he shows up, and I never mentioned where we were going to be, but somehow he knew, right?
- Frylock: Okay.
- Paul: So then she says, out of nowhere, "I have to go to the car to check the air in the tires."
So I'm like, "okay, that's responsible."
- Frylock: Uh-huh.
- Paul: And then Dad says he has to go to his car to get his shades. And so I'm like, "cool, get back soon 'cause your ice cream's gonna melt."
- Frylock: Go ahead.
- Paul: And like two hours pass, so I'm like, "what gives?" And I go to the parking lot...
- Frylock: Okay.
- Paul: ...and they're in my car, and they act all weird when I show up.
- Frylock: Uh-huh.
- Paul: And she puts her shirt on real quick, and she's in his lap, and I'm like, "what's goin' on?!"
- Frylock: Yeah.
- Paul: And they're all like, "he's just a friend, and why can't I be friends with your father?"
And I'm like, "well, what's his dick doing in your hands?!"
- Meatwad: She's just trying to get your attention. She cares about you.
- Paul: I know. I know she does. But they left me there, and they knew I didn't have the money for the ice cream. That's weird, right?
- Frylock: I'm sure her hand slipped, Paul.
- Paul: Hmm, that's what they said. I just...I always feel like people are lying to me and using me...
- Frylock: [to Shake] Hit the booby cannons.
- [Shake pulls a lever]
- Paul: What's that?
- Frylock: Oh, nothing.
- Paul: Good, 'cause I thought you said, "hit the booby cannons," and that would've made me awful mad.
- Frylock: No, no, I didn't say nothing. So what else happened on your little ice cream trip?
- Shake: Wait, wait, hang on, I've got booby cannons charging.
- Paul: Why are you charging up booby cannons?
- Shake: You really wanna know?
- Paul: Why did he say that?
- Frylock: Shake, the man is dealing with a lot of pain right now, okay? So let's not talk about what we're doing.
- Shake: He's gonna be dealing with a lot more pain in about...45 minutes to charge?! Oh, my God!
- Frylock: [as police arrive] Paul, tell me more about your girlfriend.
- Paul: She's really hot. She dressed like a slut all the time, especially when my dad's around. And I'm like, "you can wear that to work?"
And she's like, "yeah," and I'm like, "okay, well..."
- Frylock: Yeah, jealousy can make you crazy, you know? Where we at, Shake?
- Shake: You don't even wanna know. 3%.
- Paul: And then I go to my dad's, and her car's parked there, and it turns out she's not at work at all!
- Frylock: Maybe she quit her job so she and your dad could plan a surprise party for you.
- Paul: Weird. That is exactly what she said.
- Frylock: Where we at, Shake?
- Shake: 4%. Wait. No, went back down.
Carl: THIS AIN'T GONNA GIVE
ME, LIKE, CROTCH CANCER OR NOTHING, IS IT? >> Frylock: NO WAY, DUDE.
NOT FOR AT LEAST 30 YEARS.
AND BY THEN, YOU'LL BE DEAD FROM CELLPHONE RADIATION.
>> Carl: YEAH, WELL, YOU BETTER BE RIGHT.
[ BUZZING ] AAH! SO, THEN, THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BROADS JUST COME UP HERE ON THEIR KNEES TO GIVE ME ORAL? >> Frylock: WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY FOR THAT, YOU KNOW.
Carl: THEN WHAT GOOD IS IT? Frylock: OH, CARL, HERE COMES YOUR FIRST BUDDY NOW.
WATCH OUT, GUY.
Carl: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, CHIEF! HOW ABOUT YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING HERE?
'HOW ABOUT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU'RE STANDING, ASSHOLE? >> Carl: HEY, LAST TIME I CHECKED, I OWN THIS PUPPY, HUH?
>> I WALK WHERE I WANT. WHAT'S IT TO YOU, BUTT-NUT? >> Carl: YOU'RE THE BUTT-NUT.
>> YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? >> Carl: YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? >> Frylock: WHOA, EASY, GUYS.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
NO SHOVING HERE.
IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU BOTH LIKE SPORTS.
AM I RIGHT? >> YEAH, I LIKE SPORTS.
SO WHAT? >> Carl: I LIKE SPORTS. YEAH.
>> MY TEAM'S THE BEST.
>> Carl: I KNOW, RIGHT? THE GIANTS.
>> GIANTS?! [ BELCHES ] JETS! J-E-T-S -- JETS, JETS, JETS, IDIOT.
Carl: SCREW YOU, YOU FAT GINNEY!
>> YOU WANT TO GO? >> Carl: SORRY! >> YOU WANT TO GO? >> Carl: SURE, BUBBA.
>> Frylock: SEE? IT WORKS! KIND OF.
>> MAKE A MOVE.
>> Carl: YOU LIKE WHAT I DO? HOW ABOUT WHEN I DO THIS? >> WHAT DO WE GOT, A GANG-BANG GOING ON OVER HERE, YOU TWO? >> WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> YEAH, I SAID IT, HONEY.
>> COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT.
YOU STEP ON MY FRIEND'S LAWN, I'M GONNA BUST YOUR ASS! Carl: YOUR CAR IS BADASS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
>> Carl: TOO BAD YOU'RE A PUSSY.
>> YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? >> Carl: I'LL TAKE SOME.
I'LL TAKE SOME MORE.
>> WHO IS THIS GUY? >> Carl: OH, YOU WANT SOME NOW? YOU GETTING BORED BACK THERE? IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? 'CAUSE I JUST TOOK SOME OF IT.
- Aqua Something You Know Whatever at Adult Swim
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force at TV.com
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