Aqua Something You Know Whatever (season 9)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, renamed Aqua Something You Know Whatever, (December 2000 – present) is an animated television series.

Chicken and Beans

[At the end of the episode, Celeste finds that she is sued for copyright infrigment of her song, and is to appear at court. She appears wearing forks over her eyes, a jacket and a sweater]

Celeste: "FORKS YES! We'll see who has the last sting in COURT, SCORPIONS!"

Rocket Horse Jet Chicken

Meatwad: What's Jet Chicken like in private moments?

Rocket Horse: You really wanna know?

Meatwad: Yeah, you know I do! I'm a huge fan, man!

Rocket Horse: Well, uh...he's kinda paranoid, he has an unhealthy obsession with food, he gets angry at the drop of a hat and starts suing everyone in sight. But, you know, for the most part he's a......fat lazy piece of ****.

Meatwad: Dang.

---

Rocket Horse: Hey, there he is, Jet Chicken. Oh, so glad you're back, man

Jet Chicken: If you expect me to sign autographs all afternoon in the hot sun, then I expect toilet tissues and scented candles in my private toilet area!

Rocket Horse: *laughs sarcastically* That's really funny Jet Chicken. But, uh, hey, we got a fan here.

Jet Chicken: Want my autograph?

Meatwad: Yeah, absolutely! Can you make it out to, "My biggest fan, Meatwad"?

Jet Chicken: ...Oh, I'd love to, but we're only paid to sign until 4:00, and it's already 4:08 JERRY! **** Jerry.

Rocket Horse: Whoa whoa whoa...

Jet Chicken: Where's that piece of ****?!

Rocket Horse: ...*chuckles* calm down now. He said he had to go to the bank.

Jet Chicken: **** been in his days at the bank, you and I are out here signing autographs at a parking lot that's hotter than the surface of the ****ING SUN!

---

Rocket Horse: Hey, ya mind helping me pack up the inflatable, here.

Meatwad: I'll help

Rocket Horse: No, him. I want it to be him, all right? I gotta do this myself every ******* time!

Jet Chicken: Rocket Horse, I will help as soon as I get out of the bathroom.

Rocket Horse: You just went to the bathroom.

Jet Chicken: I know, but I think all those soda refills really did a number on that hero. Why do you think I picked up the chili dog on the way home? *grunt* Had to throw most of it out. Greek Special, my ass.

---

Jet Chicken: *in the bathroom* Ooh! Fan! Fan! Come to me at once!

Meatwad: Whatcha need Jet Chicken? You want me to gobble for justice? *makes gobbling noises*

Jet Chicken: ...No, I-I don't know what that is. Listen I need a wet vac in here. *brown toilet water spills out of the bathroom* This-this thing's overflowing.

Rocket Horse: There's no wet vac out here. All right? Jerry didn't provide one.

Jet Chicken: **** Jerry. Of course he didn't provide one! Fan!

Meatwad: I'm here.

Jet Chicken: I've got a job for you when I get out of here.

Meatwad: Okey dokey, just tell me when.

Jet Chicken: Actually...come on in here. I need help getting out of here. That's all I need to do is slip on one of these things and break my elbow again.

---

Meatwad: Is this, like, the headquarters of some supervillain or something?

Jet Chicken: [crapping in the sunroof of a car] Ooh. No, wait a minute. Nope, not quite done yet.

Rocket Horse: It's the doctor who fouled up his gastric bypass.

Jet Chicken: Go ahead, tell him how the damn thing leaks every time I eat.

Rocket Horse: It's...it's not. This is what happens when you don't exercise and you order queso with everything.

---

Doctor: Listen, man, I'm sorry you feel like I botched your operation, but the judge and the jury both agreed that I was drunk, and you pulled a gun on me and made me perform surgery on you because you didn't want to pay full price.

Fightan Titan

Paul: I hope you die with the devil's dick in your mouth in Hell!

---

Paul: Well, I'm with her, getting ice cream.

Frylock: Mm-hmm.

Paul: And my dad is there, and I love my dad, but he's always with us.

Frylock: Oh, yeah.

Paul: And it's weird because he shows up, and I never mentioned where we were going to be, but somehow he knew, right?

Frylock: Okay.

Paul: So then she says, out of nowhere, "I have to go to the car to check the air in the tires."
So I'm like, "okay, that's responsible."

Frylock: Uh-huh.

Paul: And then Dad says he has to go to his car to get his shades. And so I'm like, "cool, get back soon 'cause your ice cream's gonna melt."

Frylock: Go ahead.

Paul: And like two hours pass, so I'm like, "what gives?" And I go to the parking lot...

Frylock: Okay.

Paul: ...and they're in my car, and they act all weird when I show up.

Frylock: Uh-huh.

Paul: And she puts her shirt on real quick, and she's in his lap, and I'm like, "what's goin' on?!"

Frylock: Yeah.

Paul: And they're all like, "he's just a friend, and why can't I be friends with your father?"
And I'm like, "well, what's his dick doing in your hands?!"

Meatwad: She's just trying to get your attention. She cares about you.

Paul: I know. I know she does. But they left me there, and they knew I didn't have the money for the ice cream. That's weird, right?

Frylock: I'm sure her hand slipped, Paul.

Paul: Hmm, that's what they said. I just...I always feel like people are lying to me and using me...

Frylock: [to Shake] Hit the booby cannons.

[Shake pulls a lever]

Paul: What's that?

Frylock: Oh, nothing.

Paul: Good, 'cause I thought you said, "hit the booby cannons," and that would've made me awful mad.

Frylock: No, no, I didn't say nothing. So what else happened on your little ice cream trip?

Shake: Wait, wait, hang on, I've got booby cannons charging.

Paul: Why are you charging up booby cannons?

Shake: You really wanna know?

Paul: Why did he say that?

Frylock: Shake, the man is dealing with a lot of pain right now, okay? So let's not talk about what we're doing.

Shake: He's gonna be dealing with a lot more pain in about...45 minutes to charge?! Oh, my God!

Frylock: [as police arrive] Paul, tell me more about your girlfriend.

Paul: She's really hot. She dressed like a slut all the time, especially when my dad's around. And I'm like, "you can wear that to work?"
And she's like, "yeah," and I'm like, "okay, well..."

Frylock: Yeah, jealousy can make you crazy, you know? Where we at, Shake?

Shake: You don't even wanna know. 3%.

Paul: And then I go to my dad's, and her car's parked there, and it turns out she's not at work at all!

Frylock: Maybe she quit her job so she and your dad could plan a surprise party for you.

Paul: Weird. That is exactly what they said.

Frylock: Where we at, Shake?

Shake: 4%. Wait. No, went back down.