Bad Taste (film)
Bad Taste is a 1987 film about a small New Zealand village that is invaded by aliens in order to harvest human beings for their intergalactic fast food franchise but are repelled by a four-man paramilitary force.
- Stick all the bits of brain in a plastic bag, Barry.
- Suck my spinning steel, shithead!
- I'm a Derek and Dereks don't run!
- Stay where you are then, and I'll give you an eye witness description of this, intergalactic wanker!
- The headshot's the only true stopper.
- What are you dirty hooers doing on my planet?
- Well this sure has buggered your plans for conquering the world, eh? Hehe... my friend, the astro-bastard, time for talkies. By the time my colleagues get here I want to have you babbling in some extra-terrestrial language!
- Eat lead sucker!
- I'm coming to get you bastards. [laughs in a mad way]
- I'm born again!
- [after drop-kicking an alien's head out of a window] The old magic is still there.
- The bastards have landed!
- [after shooting the alien that was about to execute Giles in the head] I bet that cleared the sinuses.
Lord Crumb's Voice 
- That's the end of those weekend cowboys!
- I'm sure you'll be pleased to be leaving this shitty planet!
- Tomorrow we're having you for lunch!
- I think the gruel is ready!
- The sad news is that we will be heading back to nalak not with six of our co-workers in a state of permanent death. They died today, murdered by some real arseholes.
- <after trying to fire on barry with an empty gun> Oh, sod it!
- Barry: I think Derek's turned his toes up, guys.
- Coldfinger: I think this is a job for real men!
- Lord Crumb: [Sniffing on bowl of alien vomit produced by Robert] Mmmhh, exquisite bouquet, Robert!
- Lord Crumb: [drinking bowl of alien vomit] Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!
- [barry getting chased by an alien wielding an axe]:
- Derek: [on the radio] I think you better kill him Barry.
- Barry: Jeez, he could be from the Ministry of Works or somthing.
- Derek: Nah, he's moving too fast.
- Barry: Why can't aliens be friendly?
- Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards. We've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands. Like a... like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons. They've wiped out a small town for starters, it's my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time. Christchurch, Wellington...
- Barry: Auckland?
- Derek: Yeah, well that wouldn't be so bad.
- Frank: This isn't gonna be another false alarm like the Manor Street invasion over there, is it?
- Derek: Well, how do you explain the disappearance of an entire township, Frank? Oh! The Kiwi Jonestown, of course, that's it! Drinking beer laced with cyanide from little polystyrene cups.
- Frank: Well, I guess we'll have to issue a gun to Ozzy.
- Barry: Yeah, but don't forget about his personality disorder.
- Barry: What are we gonna do if we're spotted, Frank?
- Frank: Well... I guess we shoot the bastards.
- Frank: Just remember, we're only authorized to use violence when protecting the planet.
- Barry: And the moon.
- Frank: Yeah, and the moon.
- [after frank had to drink the "gruel"]
- Frank: oh christ, you'll never believe what i had to do!
- Ozzy: umm... did you have to drink some chuck?
- One thing the aliens hadn't counted on was Derek, and Dereks don't run!
- Watch out Aliens... ... here comes Derek!
- The Bastards Have Landed!
- Crumb's Crunchy Delights.
- Human meat for intergalactic hamburgers
- Terry Potter - Ozzy/3rd Class Alien
- Pete O'Herne - Barry/3rd Class Alien
- Craig Smith - Giles/3rd Class Alien
- Mike Minett - Frank/3rd Class Alien
- Peter Jackson - Derek/Robert
- Doug Wren - Lord Crumb
- Dean Lawrie - Lord Crumb SPFX Double/3rd Class Alien
- Peter Vere-Jones - Lord Crumb's Voice