Futurama
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Futurama (1999–2003, 2008–) is an animated television series created by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. Set in the year 3000, a 20th century human who was frozen in the year 1999 awakes to find himself in the future, where he finds new friends who are coworkers at the Planet Express delivery company.
[edit] Season 1
[edit] Space Pilot 3000
- Leela: I'm an alien, alright? Let's drop the subject.
- Fry: Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the planet?
- Leela: No, I just work here.
- Leela: This is Officer 1-B D-I requesting backup.
[The camera pulls back to reveal two police officers standing right next to her.]
- Officer Smitty: We'll be there in 5 minutes.
- Fry: Whoa… a real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
- Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
- Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
- Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.
- Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
- Bender: I don't need to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
[edit] The Series Has Landed
- Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
- Fry: Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
- Bender: Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.
- Leela: OK, if everyone's finished being stupid—
- Fry: I had more, but you go ahead.
- Leela: We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home.
- Fry: But I've never been to the moon!
- Leela: Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars.
- Amy: Leela's gonna kill me.
- Bender: No, she'll probably make me do it.
- Bender: I'm going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what- forget the park!
- Bender: Oh, no room for Bender, eh? I'll build my OWN lunar landing... with blackjack, and hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ehh, screw the whole thing.
[edit] I, Roommate
- Bender: Of all the friends I've had... you're the first.
- [Bender is muttering in his sleep.]
- Bender: Kill all humans, kill all humans, mus' kill all humans...
- Fry: Bender, wake up!
- Bender: Wh-uh? I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.
- Fry: Where's the bathroom?
- Bender: The what room?
- Fry: Bathroom.
- Bender: The bath what?
- Fry: Bathroom!
- Bender: The what what?
- Fry: Never mind.
- [Bender goes back to sleep.]
- Bender: Hey, sexy mama... wanna kill all humans?
- Farnsworth: (Talking on the phone) Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. How's his wife holding up? To shreds, You say.
[edit] Love's Labors Lost in Space
- Zapp Brannigan: Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave after wave of men at your disposal. Right, men?
- Unseen Man: You suck!
- Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
- Leela: Look, last night was a mistake.
- Zapp Brannigan: A sexy mistake.
- Leela: No, just a regular mistake.
- Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
[edit] Fear of a Bot Planet
- Robot #1: Administer the test.
- Robot #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: a large properly formatted data file?
- Robot #1: Choose!
[Fry and Leela confer for a bit.]
- Fry: Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
- Robot #2: No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
- Leela: Then we'll go with that data file!
- Robot #2: Correct!
- Robot #1: The flower would also have been acceptable.
- Fry: We're rescuing ya.
- Bender: I don't want to be rescued.
- Fry: Say what?
- Bender: I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
- Bender: Now Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hitting machine.
- Leela: Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. Wireless Joe Jackson was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
- Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was just a modified howitzer!
[edit] A Fishful of Dollars
- [Fry is playing a compact disc recording of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back;" Leela turns it off.]
- Leela: Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
- Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo.
- Fry: I finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
- Bender: I'm a thing...
- Mom: "...Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts."
[edit] My Three Suns
- [Bender is watching a cooking show called Essence of Elzar]
- Fry: Hey, whatcha watching?
- Leela: Is that a cooking show?
- Bender: [turns off the TV] No, of course not. It was... uh... porno. Yeah, that's it.
- Leela: [turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute.
- Bender: Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.
- Fry: It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.
- Bender: [sotto voce] Pansy.
- Leela: Look at all these guys! Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
- Fry: Uhh...... 80,000 years?
- Leela: No, one week!
- Fry: Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
- Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
- Fry: That was the saltiest thing I ever tasted! And I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!
[edit] A Big Piece of Garbage
- Professor Farnsworth: I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!
- Bender: Ooh, name it after me!
- [The Planet Express crew has watched an online movie about the solution to the garbage problem in New York.]
- Fry: Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
- Professor Farnsworth: Actually, that's still true.
- [In the movie.]
- Female Scientist: Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?
- Male Scientist: With gusto. [The two scientists begin disrobing.]
- [Fry, Leela, and Bender are on the big garbage ball. Leela places the bomb in the ground.]
- Leela: Get ready to run. We got 25 minutes.
- [Leela presses the button on the bomb. The timer beeps and the number changes]:
- Leela: Uh, 15 minutes.
- [Bender in the background feels suprised. The timer beeps again.]:
- Leela: 5 minutes.
- [Bender feels suspicious. The timer beeps again.]:
- Leela: "6H" minutes?
- [Bender picks up the bomb and turns it upside down]:
- Bender: Well there's your problem; the professor put timer on upside down.
[edit] A Flight to Remember
- Bender: You guys go on without me! I'm going to go... look for more stuff to steal!
- Fry: You're going back for the Countess, aren't you?
- Bender: Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.
- Fry: I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
- Bender: I love you, buddy!
- Countess de LaRoca: Bender, you risked your life to save me!
- Bender: And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
[edit] Mars University
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
- Guenter: All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit... that's why I'm transferring to business school!
- Professor Farnsworth: NOOOOOO!
- Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated...!
- Bender: Now I can explain that!
- Dean Vernon: [repeated line] ROBOT HOUSE!
[edit] When Aliens Attack
- Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
- Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
- Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
- Zapp Brannigan: The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
- Lrrr: Attention McNeil. We are reasonably satisfied with the events we have seen. Overall I would rate it a C+. Okay, not great. As a result we will NOT destroy your planet. But NEITHER will we provide you with our recipe for immortality!
- Fry: Way to overact Zoidberg!
[edit] Fry and the Slurm Factory
- [Bender feels sick]
- Amy Wong: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc.
- Bender: I'm 40% zinc!
- Amy Wong: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.
- Professor Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap!
- Professor Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
- Glermo: Why those are the Grunka-Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory.
- Professor Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.
- Glermo: There will be no further questions!
- Fry: [Raises his hand] Why?
- Glermo: You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie!
- Fry: When will that be?
- Glermo: Soon enough.
- Fry: That's not soon enough!
[edit] Season 2
[edit] I Second That Emotion
- Professor Farnsworth: And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
- Bender: You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
- Dwayne: Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!
- Leela: No. We're on the top.
- Fry: Daylight and everything.
- Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
- Bender: Meh.
[edit] Brannigan, Begin Again
- Zapp Brannigan: Throw her in the brig.
- Fry: We don't have a brig.
- Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
- [Later]
- Kif: What shall I do with your civilian clothes?
- Zapp Brannigan: Take them to the laundry-brig!
- Zapp Brannigan: Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
- Leela: I never loved you.
- Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
- Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things.
- Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
[edit] A Head in the Polls
- Bender: Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
- Professor Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
- Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
- Richard Nixon's Head: Hello Morbo, how's the family?
- Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
- Richard Nixon's Head: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
- Richard Nixon's Head: Nixon? With charisma? My god, I could rule the universe!
- Richard Nixon's Head: NIXON'S BACK!!
[edit] Xmas Story
- Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
- Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab! 1,000 years ago, there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsleders.
- Fry: Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
- Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.
- Professor Farnsworth: Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
[edit] Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?
- Dr. Zoidberg: Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
- Fry: Fatal.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [hands Bender a wad of dollar bills] Large bet on myself in round one.
- [Dr. Zoidberg is attempting to woo Edna, with help from Fry.]
- Fry: Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [to Edna] I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. [to Fry] Fry, that doesn't make sense.
- Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But okay.
- Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
- Dr. Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
- Edna: Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [to Fry] Now what?
- Fry: Ask her how her day was.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Why would I want to know that?
- Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway!
- [Dr. Zoidberg chops Fry's arm off after Fry decided not to kill him]
- Fry: YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU! YOU BASTARD!
- Dr. Zoidberg':Now how am I going to get rid of my male jelly? [after the "Frenzy" has finished]
- Fry: I'll lend you this! {Waves severed hand/arm]
[edit] Lesser of Two Evils
- Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
- Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
- Fry: Bender?! You stole the atom.
- Bender: I can explain. It's very valuable.
- Fry: My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dads.And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed Her curtains
- Leela:Fry,remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
[edit] Put Your Head on my Shoulder
- Fry: Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
- Amy: I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
- Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
- Amy: Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
- Bender: She is well travelled... and I don't mean she travels a lot.
[edit] Raging Bender
- Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!
- George Foreman: As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.
- Rich Little: No argument here.
- George Foreman: This seems as good a time as any to bring up my new grill for no reason. With it's patented design, the fat drains directly into my mouth!
[edit] A Bicyclops Built For Two
- [Bender is disguised as a sexy nurse, talking to a chat room participant.]
- Bender: Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.
- Chat room participant: Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.
- [He hands Bender the money.]
- Bender: So, how 'bout them Knicks?
- Fry: Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?
- Bender: [sarcastically] Is the Space Pope reptilian!?
[edit] A Clone of My Own
- Professor Farnsworth: Nothing is impossible! Not if you believe in it. That's what being a scientist is all about!
- Cubert Farnsworth: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about!
- Professor Farnsworth: [being escorted away by a Sunset Squad robot] Goodbye, cruel world! Goodbye, cruel lamp! Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. [the robot groans] Cruel though they may be, I-- [the rather fed-up robot abruptly picks up Farnsworth and carries him away.]
- Bender: [trying to wake Professor Farnsworth up by shocking him] Your social security check is late! Things cost more than they used to! Young people use curse words!
[edit] How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
- [Hermes is threatening to jump off a building.]
- Planet Express Crew: No! Don't jump!
- Bender: Do a flip!
- Number 1.0: Don't quote regulation to me! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation is in. We kept it gray.
- Number 1.0: Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!
[edit] The Deep South
- Bender (to Fry and the Professor; after Bender receives a suitcase from a stranger in the middle of the ocean): Hey, guess what you're accessories to.
- [Fry is presented with an egg-sized pill which will allow him to withstand the pressure underwater.]
- Fry: Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
- Professor Farnsworth: Well, then good news! It's a suppository.
- [Whilst underwater]
- Zoidberg: Nooo! My home, it burnt down! How did this happen?
- Hermes: That's a very good question!
- Bender: Ah, so that's where I left my cigar!
- Hermes: ...That just raises further questions!!
[edit] Bender Gets Made
- Supplicant: Please, Don-Bot... look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!
- Don-Bot: File not found.
- Don-Bot: Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. (gives Joey and Clamps each a tank of gasoline) Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.
- Bender: Uh, Donnie, baby. Youse guys skedaddle. Let me handle the doity wok.
- Don-bot: Blotto, I like your style, and your latest accent.
[edit] Mother's Day
- Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!
- Greeting Card: Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
- Bender: Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
- Greeting Card: No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
- Bender: Yes! In your face, Gandhi!
[edit] The Problem With Popplers
- Fry: They're like sex, except I'm having it!
- Free Waterfall Jr.: Pssh! You can't own property, man!
- Professor Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie!
[edit] Anthology of Interest I
- Professor Farnsworth: You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me!
- Leela: Oh God, what have I done?
- Professor Farnsworth: I just told you! You've killed me!
- Hermes: What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! It is! My precious torso!
- Zoidberg: My first clue came at 4:15, when the clock stopped. The next clue came 3 hours later at 4:15 when I found the body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse!
[edit] War Is the H-Word
- Bender: This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
- Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
- Fry: And then the battle's not so bad?
- Soldier: Oh right. I forgot about the battle. [whimpers]
- Soldier: Cover us Fry! You're the only one with the wounded up positron shooter!
- Balls come rolling
- Fry: [Whimpers] *blasts hole in ground and hides*
- Soldier: Fry! You emu-bellied coward!
- Fry*(To Bender) Wait, If you say the A word, This Planet will blow straight up to the H word
- BrainBall: We do not condone bouncing of the Seventh Variety!
[edit] The Honking
- Bender: And until then, I can never die?
- Gypsy-Bot: Who said that? SURE you can die! [Pulls out big gun.] You want to die?!
- Bender: No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
- Calculon: I was all of history's great robot actors: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, David Duchovny!
- Fry: Nightrider wasn't evil!
- Calculon: No, but his windshield wipers were. Didn't come up much in the show...
[edit] The Cryonic Woman
- Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
- Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.
[edit] Season 3
[edit] Amazon Women in the Mood
- [After the men have been sentenced to death by snu-snu.]
- Fry: Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.
- Zapp Brannigan: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
- Bender: Maybe you can interface with my ass...by biting it!
[edit] Parasites Lost
- Professor Farnsworth: Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.
- Dr. Zoidberg: There's no part of that sentence I didn't like!
- [During Fry's check-up.]
- Dr. Zoidberg: We'll need to have a look inside you with [pulls out a long cord with a camera lens at the end] this camera.
- [Fry opens his mouth.]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Guess again.
- Hermes: We've got to get somewhere he won't stick his finger.
- Bender: It's hopeless! Abandon ship!
- Dr. Farnsworth: We're in the heart! We should be safe as long as nothing makes it beat faster.
- (Fry holds Leela's hand, causing his heartrate to skyrocket)
- Bender: Abandon ship!
- (The ship is attacked by the parasite worms)
- Bender: Abandon ship! (struggles to reach the exit door)
- Dr. Farnsworth: If we don't get rid of the worms now, they'll burrow so deep into the bowel, not even Hermes' famous jerk prunes could dislodge them!
- Hermes: I call it Carribean Drano.
- Fry: When I'm with you, every day feels like double soup Tuesday.
- Dr. Farnsworth: If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm colony!
- Hermes: But what about the worms in the other part of his body?
- Dr. Farnsworth: Listen, this is gonna be one Hell of a bowel movement. Afterward, he'll be lucky if he has any bones left!
- Dr. Farnsworth: Leela, you ignorant dope! Now the worms will be in Fry forever!
- Leela: So? Did you ever stop to think that Fry is better off with worms?
- Dr. Farnsworth: Oh, that's stupid!
- Fry:Ugh...It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up.
[edit] A Tale of Two Santas
- Bender: Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
- Pramala: Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
- Bender: And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?
- Fry: I'm Santa Claus!
- Hermes: No, I'm Santa Claus!
- Amy: We're also Santa Claus!
- Dr. Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus.
- Mayor: You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
[edit] The Luck of the Fryrish
- Young Fry: Ah, the Breakfast Club soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff!
- Fry: Here lies Philip J. Fry, names for his uncle, to carry on his spirit.
- Bender: Pay dirt! I've got the clover! Plus, his wedding ring. Sorry, ladies, I'm taken. Hey, Fry, you want me to smack the corpse up a little?
- Leela: Uhh, bender, I think Fry needs a moment alone.
- Bender: All right, grab a shovel. I'm only one skull short of a mouseketeer reunion.
[edit] The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz
- Free Waterfall Sr.: If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right.
- Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I'm sending you on a highly controversial mission.
- Fry: Controversial?
- Farnsworth: Oh, my, no.
- Hyperchicken: Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.
- Bender: Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you have just got me the death penalty?
- Hyperchicken: Well I'da done better, but it's plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.
- Bender: Oh yeah, good luck with that.
- [Bender leaves the room, revealing that the Hyperchicken is the one in jail.]
[edit] Bendless Love
- Bender: That's right, baby, I ain't your loverboy Flexo: the guy you love so much you even love anyone pretending to be him!
- Angleyne: Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you're pretending to be.
- Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
- Professor Farnsworth: Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.
- Fry: I wish! It's a nickel.
- Robots: Give us a raise you big fat jerk
- Boss: Nevas!
[edit] The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
- Linda:Today, some bad things happened. One bad thing was, a train got crashed in New Jersey. Wanna see? People won't be late for work though. The governor lady said. "I'm sending more trains!"
- Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat.
- Linda: It's a T. It goes "tuh".
- Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!
- Fry: [to the Big Brain] I'm here to kick your ass!
- Big Brain: Wishful thinking! We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses!
- Fiona: Nibblonians to nibble stations! Prepare cuddlebug for deployment in forty niblets.
- Ken: Sometimes I fear we are cute.
- Fiona: [dismissive] D'oh, niggle-snush.
[edit] That's Lobstertainment
- Bender: Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!
[edit] The Cyber House Rules
- Amy: What are their names?
- Bender: Kids have names?
- Orphan: My name is Nina, this is Albert—
- Bender: —And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.
- Orphan: Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
- Bender: What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
- Orphan: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
- Bender: No! The cat shelter's on to me.
[edit] Where the Buggalo Roam
- Martian: I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
- Zapp Brannigan: Take me to your leader!
- Martian: Moving along...
- Zapp Brannigan: [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!
[edit] Insane in the Mainframe
- Leela: OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
- Farnsworth: You're going to do his laundry?
- Leela: Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!
- Fry: Negative, bossy meat creature!
- Hermes: Don't be a hero, Fry! It's not covered in the health plan!
[edit] The Route of All Evil
- Bender: I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.
[edit] Bendin' in the Wind
- Dr. Zoidberg: It's toe-tappingly tragic!
- Beck: You, minion. Lift my arm. [a stagehand lifts his arm] AFTER HIM!
- Bender: Fry cracked corn, and I don't care! Leela cracked corn, still don't care! Bender cracked corn and he is great! Take that you stupid corn!
[edit] Time Keeps on Slippin'
- Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.
- Hermes: I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day.
- Professor Farnsworth: Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.
- Professor Farnsworth: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!
- [Farnsworth presses a button, revealing an arsenal of doomsday weapons.]
- Professor Farnsworth: I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…
[edit] I Dated a Robot
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.
- Bender: Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
- Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
[edit] A Leela of Her Own
- Bender: Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk!
- Leela: How much did you make me?
- Bender: One hundred dollars.
- [Leela is signing autographs.]
- Leela: Who am I making this out to?
- Girl: Ummm…to eBay?
- Leela: That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?
[edit] A Pharaoh to Remember
- High Priest: Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.
- Priests: [chanting] Free us from thought and responsibility.
- High Priest: We shall read things off you.
- Priests: [chanting] Then do them.
- High Priest: Your words guide us.
- Priests: [chanting] We're dumb.
[edit] Anthology of Interest II
- Fry: Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.
- Leela: I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!
- Leela: Why did you bring us here?
- Dr. Zoidberg: And why did I have to take a cab?
- Leela: Haven't I seen you in some copyrighted movie?
[edit] Roswell That Ends Well
- Professor Farnsworth: For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!
- Fry: But existing is basically all I do!
- Professor Farnsworth: And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
- Professor Farnsworth: Ohh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. “I'm My Own Grandfather”!
[edit] Godfellas
- Bender: You know, I was God once.
- God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
- God: Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
- Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
- God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
- Leela: Look, I miss Bender almost half as much as you do, but you can't bring him back this way! It's hopeless!
- Fry: You can't give up hope just because it is hopeless! You gotta hope even more, and cover your ears, and go: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!"
(...)
- Leela: Well, you obviously won't listen to reason... So I guess I'll listen to idioticness and come with you. (...)
[edit] Future Stock
- That Guy: There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
- Dr. Zoidberg: Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
- That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep. I am proud to be the shepard of this herd of sharks.
- Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
- That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We're more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
- Amy: Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?
- Leela: We haven't made a single delivery since you took over!
- That Guy: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business!
- That Guy: Hairgel?
- Fry: No thanks. I make my own.
- Mom: [Watching Fry moon her] You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!
[Walt searches for the button]
- Mom: Press any button! They all retaliate!
[edit] The 30% Iron Chef
- [Dr. Zoidberg has broken the professor's ship-in-a-bottle.]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes it... then perhaps gifts!
- Bender: I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.
- Koji: Ironu... Cookuru!
[edit] Season 4
[edit] Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch
- Attila the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
- Zapp Brannigan: Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!
- Fry: Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg.
[edit] Leela's Homeworld
- Fry: I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!
- Leela: I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
- Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
[edit] Love and Rocket
- [Bender and Planet Express Ship are arguing over using tax money to fund controversial art.]
- Bender: Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
- Planet Express Ship: Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it?
- Bender: Why not indeed!
- Leela: Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!
- Planet Express Ship: I saw you at Elzar's with those two "ladies of the evening." Explain that.
- Bender: Okay, I like a challenge. [thinks for a second] Ah! I got it. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with were my accountants.
- Planet Express Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I will!
- Gwen: Knowing which pickup lines fizzle, and which ones sizzle keeps us on the cutting edge of flirtation technology!
- Robot Dummy A: Is heaven missing an angel? Because you've got nice cans!
- (Test subject eyes dummy in annoyance)
- Robot Dummy B: My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.
- (Test subject brings the dummy into a deep embrace)
- Leela: Does that dummy have a brother?
- Ndnd: What is this emotion you humans call "wuv?"
- Lrrr: Surely it says "love."
- Ndnd: No, "wuv," with an earth w. Behold.
- Lrrr: This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us!
[edit] Less Than Hero
- Leela: Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.
- Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
- Fry: Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.
[edit] A Taste of Freedom
- Nixon's Head: In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
- Fry: Anyone who laughs is a communist!
- [Old Man Waterfall takes a stand against the Decapodian Mobile Oppression Palace.]
- Old Man Waterfall: You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit!
- [He is crushed.]
- Old Man Waterfall: Aagh, my spirit! Urrgh!
- Old Man Waterfall: That's right, I'm a polygamist.
- Crowd: Boo!
[later]
- Supreme justice: And, in a rare double-whammy, we also find polygamy to be constitutional.
- Crowd: Boo!
- Old Man Waterfall: I can't wait to tell my husband!
- Crowd: Boo!
[edit] Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV
- Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
- Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
- Bender: Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
- Bender: I got ants in my butt, and I needs to strut!
[Cubert and Dwight have been watching Bender on television]
- Cubert: Hey dad, bite my shiny metal ass!
- Professor: What?! Such an action would be extremely uncomfortable for both of us!
[edit] Jurassic Bark
- Bender: Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
- Fry: You can see how I lived before I met you.
- Bender: You lived before you met me?!
- Fry: Yeah, lots of people did.
- Bender: Really?!
- Fry: I like you Seymour, you're not constantly judging me like all the other dogs.
...Are you?! [pause] ...nah. We understand eachother.
[edit] Crimes of the Hot
- Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
- Dark Wizard in the Audience: Sure, blame the wizards!
- Linda: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
- Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!
- Al Gore: I have ridden the mighty moon worm!
[edit] Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
- Professor Farnsworth: I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now I have to pay them!
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.
[edit] The Why of Fry
- Fry: But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.
- Nibbler: Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.
- Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.
- Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
- Nibblonian: Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
- [The brains have told Fry to see what happened the night he was frozen.]
- Fry: What happened to me, Philip J. Fry, on December 31, 1999?
- Large Brainspawn: Clarification request! Are you the Philip J. Fry from Earth, or the Philip J. Fry from Hovering Squid World 97-A?
- Brainspawn #1: Earth, you fat idiot!
- Leela: You may not be the most important person in the universe, but I'm really glad to see you right now.
- Fry: Then I am the most important person in the universe.
[edit] Where No Fan Has Gone Before
- Leonard Nimoy: Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
- William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.
- Walter Koenig: When we woke up, we had these bodies.
- Fry: Say it in Russian!
- Walter Koenig: [sigh] Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.
- Fry: Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!
- Walter Koenig: No!
- Fry: [after Welshy gets electrocuted by Melllvar] WELSHY!!!!!
- William Shatner: I have an idea! Wasn't there an episode where I threw my shoe at the enemy?
- Leonard Nimoy: (not missing a beat) You mean Doohan?
- (both men giggle and snicker and follow up with a high-five)
[edit] The Sting
- Leela: Burn on that old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die.
- Father Changstein-El-Gamal: I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
- Hermes: Soothe us with sweet lies.
- Father Changstein: It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.
- Fry: Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
[edit] Bend Her
- Bender: Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
- Bender: Professor, make a woman out of me.
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I think we should just stay friends.
- Professor Farnsworth: You've fallen into the final debilitating stages of womanhood.
[edit] Obsoletely Fabulous
- Bender: I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.
- [The Planet Express crew is trapped under the ship, surrounded by a ring of burning fuel.]
- Hermes: Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! [pause] Also, we're dying!
- Bender: Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg!
[edit] The Farnsworth Parabox
- Professor Farnsworth: Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.
- Bender-1: Hey! Bite my glorious golden ass!
- Hermes-1: It's hopeless! We'll never find your universe in time! Plus this box is stuck on my fat head!
- Leela: Uh, have you robot versions of you guys seen any extra Zoidbergs around here?
- Robo Fry: NEGATIVE. WILL-YOU-GO-OUT-WITH-ME.
- Leela: Uh, ACCESS-DENIED.
- Robo Fry: (head explodes)
[edit] Three Hundred Big Boys
- Hermes: With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!
- [Morbo's wife is adjusting his tie.]
- Morbo: Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will destroy you!
[edit] Spanish Fry
- Porno-dealing Lizard: I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.
- Everyone else: Eew!
- Porno-dealing Lizard: Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?
- Ndnd: For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs!
- Lrrr: She also liked to shut up!
[edit] The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings
- Robot Devil: This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
- Fry: That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
- Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
- Bender: [Singing] 'The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention.' Now that - IS - irony.
[edit] Season 5
- Futurama: Bender's Big Score
- Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
- Futurama: Bender's Game
- Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
[edit] Season 6
[edit] Rebirth
- Fry: Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
- Professor Farnsworth: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
- Bender: Who are you, my warranty?!
[edit] In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela
- Fry: Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?
- Bender: I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
- Zoidberg: Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?
- Zapp Brannigan: My god, we're defenceless. Like fish in a barrel.
- Richard Nixon's Head: Options?
- Zapp Brannigan: My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.
- Leela: This is it. The moment we should have trained for.
[edit] Attack of the Killer App
- Professor Farnsworth: These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.
- Leela: So long, overly-complicated Japanese toilet!
- Toilet: Prease, not throw away. I give you, uh, happy poopy time!
- Fry: Sorry, you know too much.
- Clerk: Okay, it's 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold the charge and the reception isn't very…
- Fry: Shut up and take my money!
[edit] Proposition Infinity
- Hermes: When the lights go out, it's nobody's business what goes on between two consenting adults.
- Zoidberg: Or one!
- Reverand Lionel Preacherbot: The only lies worth believing are the ones in the Bible.
- Prof. Farnsworth: Back when I was full of piss and vinegar and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl ever to skip though a field of posies.
[edit] The Duh-Vinci Code
- Professor Farnsworth: I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me.
[edit] Lethal Inspection
- Bender: Dying sucks butt. How do you living beings cope with mortality?
- Leela: Violent outbursts.
- Amy: General slutiness.
- Fry: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.
- Bender: Anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time!
[edit] The Late Philip J. Fry
- Elzar: Weren't you the loser who got stood up at my other restaurant?
- Leela: Shut up and bring me two dinners!
- Fry: Hey, uh... What was the purpose of life, anyway?
- Professor Farnsworth: Who knows? Probably some hogwash about the human spirit.
- Bender: Mm-hm.
- Fry: Sounds about right.
- Fry: All in all, I had a pretty sweet life. How about we grab a six pack and watch the universe end.
- Bender: That's what I basically do everyday.
[edit] That Darn Katz!
- Professor Katz: We shall now vote "yea" or "nay". Nay.
- Wernstrom: Nay!
- Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate: Hell nay!
- Professor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell: The horse says: "doctorate denied".
[edit] A Clockwork Origin
- Professor Farnsworth: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
[edit] The Prisoner of Benda
- Amy: [in Farnsworth's body] Oh no! Can we switch back using four or more bodies?
- Professor Farnsworth: [in Bender's body] I'm not sure. I'm afraid we need to use... MATH.
- Scruffy: Ms Wong?
- Washbucket: [In Amy's body] No, Scruffy, I am Washbucket. I love you. Washbucket has always loved you!
- [Scruffy and Washbucket kiss, but Scruffy pulls away.]
- Scruffy: It's wrong, Washbucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while. But in the back of our minds we'd know that I'm a man, and you're janitorial equipment.
- Washbucket: In another city, we could be anyone we want.
- Scruffy: Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay!
- [Washbucket leaves]
- Scruffy: [Sobs, then suddenly stops]Ayup.
[edit] Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences
- Ndnd: I demand the ancient ritual of Rrmmr-mr-fr-mrh or consequences!
- Fry: Rrmmr-mr-fr-mrh or what?!
[edit] The Mutants Are Revolting
- Bender: This calls for a party, baby! I'm ordering a hundred kegs, a hundred hookers, and a hundred Elvis impersonators who aren't above a little hooking, should the occasion arise!
[edit] The Futurama Holiday Spectacular
- Amy: Oh no! This could be the year without a Kwanza, like every year before 1966.
- Professor: We have only one hope left, and as usual, it's Norwegian!
- Bender: You know, I don't recall having done anything in a while, but I still feel I deserve a smoke.
[edit] Neutopia
- Amy: It would've been nice to shop at Tommy Hilfiger one last time.
- Hattie: It wasn't Tommy Hilfi-gigger. It was Linens 'n' Things!
- Petunia: The hell it was! It was a Juicy Couture!
- Leela: I guess we all saw what we wanted to see.
- Fry: Wait. Why didn't that hurt? [stretches pants to check] Aggghhh! My wing-wang's gone!
- Leela: My girls!
- Bender: My antenna!
- Hattie: My kajigger!
- Zoidberg: My gonopores! [slight pause in compilcation] Look it up.
- Hermes: Give us back our genitals!
- Rock Alien: Is that you, Borax Kid? I've got your fifty bucks. Oh, it's you. Why do you want your genders? You seem happier without them.
- LaBarbara: Being human's not about being happy, it's about loving and fighting and that Rasta McNasty we were doing last night, ha ha. We want that back!
- Fry: Never bet against me being stupid!
[edit] Benderama
- Linda: Hey you! Good evening. Who you calling drunk? You're not drunk, I'm drunk!
- Morbo: Tha's right Linda. Water is n... now booze and everyone's... titty much protally fitshaced.
- Hermes: You wanna see a picture of my boy?
- Zoidberg: Sure. [Hermes presents photo] That's your penis!
- Hermes: That's my bouy!
- Amy: This chair is so comfortable. [She throws up]
- Bender: Heh heh. Classic Amy.
[edit] Ghost in the Machines
- Hermes: As you can see, since Bender's death, request to bite one shiny metal ass are down 98%. [Scruffy uses Bender's compartment (with a leg in an arm plate) as a vacuum] Do you mind doing that later?
- Scruffy: Bite my shiny metal ass. [the line chart rises]
[edit] Law and Oracle
- Fry: Hello. I'd like to enroll in Police Academy.
- Officer: You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?
- Fry: That's the plan.
- Officer: I like you, kid. I got no pants on either.
- Fry: I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.
- Officer: Welcome to Police Academy. [both shake hands]
- Officer URL: What's in the box Schrodinger?
- Erwin Schrodinger: A cat, some poison and a caesium atom.
- Fry: The cat, is it alive or dead? Alive or dead!?
- Officer URL: Answer him fool.
- Erwin Schrodinger: It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function.
- Fry: Says you. [Fry opens the box and a cat leaps out at him.]
- Officer URL: There's also a lot of drugs in there.
[edit] The Silence of the Clamps
- Prosecutor: Isn't it true, Mr. X, that you are slandering this innocent mafia also to distract from your own felonious past, including the crime you made up yourselves called burglararsonlarsony?
- Bender: That's a wholly owned trademark of Rodriguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here.
- Judge 724: That's true. You're on trial in courtroom 3. [presses button, wall spins Bender to another courtroom with a female version of 724]
- Judge 802: You are charged with two counts of burglararsonlarsony. How do you plead?
- Bender: Not innoguiltycent! [reaches, presses button, returning to 724's courtroom]
- Zoidberg: My name isn't Slick, it's Zoidberg. JOHN FUCKING ZOIDBERG!
[edit] Yo Leela Leela
- Warden Vogel: Sometimes you gotta choose between eating and reading, so they ate the books.
[edit] All the Presidents' Heads
- Franklin D. Roosevelt's Head: We have nothing to fear but running out of beer.
[edit] Möbius Dick
- Amy: Oh no, I'm having a Serengeti Flashback! Die you stinkin' giraffe!
- Hermes: I can see sideways in time! [reverse] Emit ni syawedis ees nac I!
- Amy: Gee, I see CGI! | IGC ees I eeg!
- Fry: Poop! Ha-ha-ha! | Ah-ah-ah... Poop!
- Bender: Aw, yeah!
- Benders: Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender!
- Bender: A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-- Oh..! That was the greatest uncountably infinite bunch of guys I ever met.
- Fry: Leela, I'm no medical expert, but I think you be showing some serious signs of 'illin!
- Dr. Zoidberg: Relax, friends. (the space whale reemerges)
- Dr. Zoidberg: Panic jerks!
[edit] Fry Am the Egg Man
[edit] The Tip of the Zoidberg
[edit] Cold Warriors
- Brannigan: We have only one option, protocol 62.
- Nixon: Not possible we don't have nearly enough piranhas.
- Brannigan: Then protocol 63 it is.
- Zoidberg: They're flying Manhattan into the sun, they must have been out of piranhas.
[edit] Overclockwise
- Mom: Farnsworth? What a lucky break, after all these years I've got him, and legally too.
- Larry: Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.
- Mom: An idiot like you is correct! [slaps him]
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh god! I clicked without reading.
- Cubert Farnsworth: And I slightly modified a thing that I own.
- Professor Farnsworth We're monsters!
- [Both cry]
[edit] Reincarnation
- Bender: Byte my 8 bit metal ass. [to Hermes] That's byte with a 'Y'.
- [while examining a log under a super microscope]
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh my, there's a frog an a bump on this log that I found in a hole at the bottom of the sea.
- Leela: And that's the ultimate secret of the universe?
- Professor Farnsworth: Apparently so. Wait, there's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole on the bottom of the sea.
- [the professor keeps zooming in on the log]
- Bender: [trying to cheer up the professor] Would it cheer you up if I punch Fry in the groin? Cause I'll do it, regardless.
- Professor Farnsworth: Fry, you idiot, you're a genius!
- Bender STATEMENT: understood meatbag
[edit] Cast
- Billy West - Philip J. Fry, Professor Hubert Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Zapp Brannigan
- Katey Sagal - Turanga Leela
- John Di Maggio - Bender
- Phil LaMarr - Hermes Conrad
- Lauren Tom - Amy Wong
- Maurice LaMarche - Kif Kroker, Morbo
[edit] See also
- Futurama: Bender's Big Score
- Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
- Futurama: Bender's Game
- Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
[edit] External links
- Futurama quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Futurama at TV.com
