Best in Show
Buck Laughlin 
- Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?
- And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.
- Scott Donlan: She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.
- Sherri Ann Cabot: Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.
- Stefan Vanderhoof: If you're ever buying a shampoo sink go right to the Dutch. The French know nothing about shampooing.
- Christy Cummings: We started this magazine, "American Bitch". It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.
- Hamilton Swan: Honey, I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck.
- Meg Swan: Is that not breathing?
- Hamilton Swan: Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambswool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki down there and this merlot looks good with the gray.
- Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.
- Cookie Fleck: Hundreds.
- Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
- Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
- Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.
- Fred Willard - Buck Laughlin
- Christopher Guest - Harlan Pepper
- Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
- John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan
- Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Guggelman Fleck
- Eugene Levy - Gerald 'Gerry' Fleck
- Jay Brazeau - Dr. Chuck Nelken
- Parker Posey - Meg Swan
- Michael Hitchcock - Hamilton Swan
- Linda Kash - Fay Berman
- Larry Miller - Max Berman
- Patrick Cranshaw - Leslie Ward Cabot
- Jennifer Coolidge - Sherri Ann Ward Cabot
- Jane Lynch - Christy Cummings
- Bob Balaban - Dr. Theodore W. Millbank III
- Jim Piddock - Trevor Beckwith, the Commentator
- Ed Begley Jr. - Mark Schaefer, Hotel Manager