Big Love

Big Love (2006–) is an HBO television drama about a fundamentalist Mormon family in Utah that practices polygamy.

Season 1

Pilot [1.1]

Sarah: Why can't we just hire a babysitter like everyone else?

Barb: Because we're not everyone else.

---

Bill: [seeing his father lying on the floor] Oh good lord!

Lois: He's better today. He's gonna be fine. I don't know why everyone's so up in arms.

Frank: [hoarsely] Don't let me die.

---

Bill: [about his father] He's gotta get to a doctor.

Lois: No! Remember when he got his fingers caught in the fan? You said doctors and he was fine!

Bill: He needed 23 stitches!

---

Heather: You know, when I'm 21, I really wanna go on a mission and I wish I could go to an Islamic country because I think post-9/11 that part of the world needs our help the most. Don't you think?

Sarah: I think the whole world needs help.

---

Roman: [to Bill] Listen to me, son, carefully. There's man's law and there's God's law... and I think you know which side I'm on.

Viagra Blue [1.2]

Barb: [to Nicki and Margie] We're never too far apart when we're holding hands.

---

Nicki: [to Barb, about Margie and Bill having loud sex] Can you believe it? It's like a train whistle!

---

Lois: [about Frank's arsenic poisoning] How can he suspect me when I didn't do anything? That's crazy!

Bill: Fine, fine. So who is gonna pick him up?

Lois: Why don't you go pick him up?

Bill: I hate him as much as you do.

Lois: Then maybe you did it!

---

Bill: There's one more thing. My house is three houses.

Ronnie: What, rentals?

Bill: No, I live in all three houses.

Ronnie: In all three?

Bill: With my family, they're connected...

Ronnie: All three houses?

Bill: That's right. Big family.

---

Bill: [to Margene] I've been thinking about you. We are links to eternity. Ahead of us, family yet to come, souls to be born; behind us, ancestors — ancestors who sacrificed. We are making those sacrifices to live the principle, to keep faith. Margie, you are a valued member of this family. We weren't complete, not until you. You made us complete. I wasn't complete until you, and our fine sons. What happened was a mistake. It'll never happen again, all right? All right?

Home Invasion [1.3]

Bili: [about the size of the guest list for Wayne's birthday party] Are you crazy?! How many people?!

Nicki: Just immediate family!... [pause] 153.

---

Adaleen: [to Bill, about Nicki] I would never, ever tell you how to run your affairs--she's your wife--but she's always needed a firm hand. She takes well to a good smacking. You too, Barb--just give her a nice little swat!

---

Sarah: What's it like being married?

Rhonda: It's a pre-marriage placement. That's what it's called now, to get around the law until I'm 16.

[Sarah looks horrified.]

Rhonda: I wasn't forced! [smugly] The other sister-wives hate me because old Roman likes me best.

Sarah: Do you love him?

Rhonda: He's sweet to me. The greatest freedom we have is obedience.

Eclipse [1.4]

[Bill comes home late at night and snuggles up to Margie in bed.]

Margie: [half asleep] Where's Nicki?

Bill: What??

Margie: It's Nicki's night. You gotta go.

[Bill sneaks through the house, across the backyard and up to Nicki's bedroom.]

Nicki: Honey, what are you doing here?

Bill: It's our night!

Nicki: It was. Didn't you get my message? See the Post-It?

Bill: Post-It?

Nicki: I traded with Barb.

---

Heather: [to Donna] You know what, I've upped my standards, so up yours.

---

Bill: [to Ben, instructing him for the hunting trip] Hey, remember tomorrow: no deodorant, no soap, no mouthwash.

Sarah: [chuckles] Like you really have to tell him that.

---

Ben: How do you know if God's talking to you or if you're just talking to yourself?

Bill: That's one of the most important challenges in life.

Affair [1.5]

Ben: I think about sex all the time!

Brynn: But that's good.

Ben: No, I can't control it. I get hard-ons in woodshop!

---

Nicki: [about Bill] He's been so happy! And he saw me in the car and pretended he didn't see me. And then he gave us flowers to throw me off the trail. I mean, don't you see? Do you see it?

Wanda: You don't think he's...?

Nicki: He is, yes! He is seeing a fourth wife. This is exactly what he did when he got interested in Margene. Honestly, I knew even before I knew, you know?

Wanda: It's so easy to see through them. They're kind of cute that way.

---

Nicki: You're the weak link, Margie.

Margie: What?

Nicki: We have to be realistic. You can't keep a secret like me and you're not a good liar like Barb.

Barb: [alarmed] What do you mean I'm a good liar?

Nicki: With the neighbors. You're so effortless; you're pro.

---

Margie: [to her son who's prancing around with no pants on] Aaron! [to Pam] I'm sorry, he just discovered his penis.

Pam: Don't they all!

Roberta's Funeral [1.6]

Barb: [to Peg] I don't like the sneaking around. [pause] Actually, I love the sneaking around; it is so exciting.

---

Barb: I'm having an affair.

Peg: With who?

Barb: Bill.

Peg: Your husband Bill?

---

Margie: Your father said we cannot call a plumber.

Ben: I know.

Margie: Do you think he's a cheapskate?

Ben: Umm, I believe the word is thrifty.

---

Nicki: [thinking about baby names] What do you think of the name Noel?

Bill: I think it says "Kick me and take my lunch money."

---

Nicki: [about Barb] Do you think she's happy for me? About the baby?

Margie: Of course. She loves babies. Sometimes I think she wishes my boys were hers.

Nicki: Sometimes I think they wish the same thing.

Eviction [1.7]

Barb: [about sneaking sex] We can't keep doing what we're doing.

Bill: But I need you.

Barb: You have me.

---

Barb: Who's that?

Bill: Just Nicki.

Barb: Oh. What'd she want?

Bill: No, nothing. [pause] She's ovulating.

---

Bill: I promise you, you will not have the baby in this motel.

Wanda: Oh, I could give birth in a potato patch, I'd survive. It's Joey I'm worried about.

---

Heather: You know, I really have some strong opinions about polygamy and I would love to sit down and talk to you about it one day.

[Sarah looks down, embarrassed.]

Barb: Wuhh... We should do that sometime.

Easter [1.8]

Wanda: [to Barb, about Frank] I wouldn't let him in your house if I were you. He makes Joey crazy, Bill hates him, and he doesn't pee in the toilet.

Nicki: Bill's not very good about lifting the seat either.

Wanda: No, Nicki. He pees in the sink.

---

Frank: [to Bill, about Lois] What are you being over-protective of her for? She's like one of Roman's Humvees, you know. The woman is a tank!

---

Frank: [to Joey] I'll have some beans there, Fumbles.

Wanda: I told you, old man, you lay off Joey or else.

Frank: Or else what?

Wanda: Or else I'll finish the job someone else started: I'll kill you!

A Barbecue for Betty [1.9]

Nicki: I love you, Bill.

Bill: I love you, too.

Nicki: How much?

Bill: I say it's astronomical, beyond all measure.

Nicki: I have $58,000 in debt.

---

Margie: Benny, do you remember a few years ago, a vote about me?

Ben: Which one?

Margie: The one about me joining the family.

Ben: Which one?

---

Sarah: [to Bill] It hurts to see you lie, Dad. I hate that about this life. Watching you and Mom hide, all of us having to hide.

The Baptism [1.10]

Margie: I am a terrible wife. I should've never married your father. And your mother.

Sarah: And Nicki.

Margie: Especially Nicki.

---

Nicki: Margene, you're grounded.

Margie: Excuse me?

Nicki: Or you're on probation. You do not involve our kids in your filthy habits.

Margie: No, no way. You have no authority over me.

Nicki: Authority? Wait just one minute. I'm second, you're third, get it?

Margie: Second's not first. It's nothing.

---

Cindy: Polygamy one hundred years ago was quaint; polygamy today is foul.

Where There's a Will [1.11]

Ernest Holloway: [about the UEB Council] They also talked about negotiating a contract with NASA to sell clay from one of the mines we own in Moab for the heat shields on the shuttle.

Bill: They don't believe we even went to the moon and yet they're in business with the agency that didn't go there.

---

Barb: I do not want the kids to go to the compound!

Nicki: All the kids or just your kids?

Barb: Any kids and certainly not mine. And mine include yours!

---

Governor's Aide: Your charity work was important, to be sure, but truthfully it was your cancer that sealed the deal. The first lady is trying to shine a light on survivorship this year. You and your fellow finalists are all survivors.

Barb: So many people are.

Governor's Aide: True, but most are merely tumors. Luckily for you, yours had metastasized.

The Ceremony [1.12]

Adaleen: [to Rhonda] The competition is over. Of course I found out. What kind of sister-wife do you take me for? Get in. Your little Roman holiday is over.

---

[Nicki sneaks in on Barb and Margene talking; they don't hear her.]

Barb: Has she said anything to you about what she's wearing?

Margie: Nuh-uh.

Barb: Just try to get her to wear something a little more...I mean, she sticks out like a sore thumb.

Margie: Oh...

Barb: I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's like walking into the Governor's mansion with a sign that says "Practicing Polygamist." She'll never listen to it coming from me, she'll think I'm attacking her. I mean, even just offer to do her hair.

---

[Talking about the Mother of the Year event.]

Rhonda: Why did they pick Barb? Is she more important than you two?

Margie: Uh, no.

Rhonda: Well, was there something lacking in you two?

Nicki: Only one person can be mother of the year. Teenie nominated Barb, so that's how it happened. Here.

[She hands Rhonda a sandwich.]

Rhonda: What is it?

Nicki: Breakfast. To go.

[Rhonda turns to walk away, then turns back to Nicki.]

Rhonda: You're irritable, Nicki. Try to find time for a nap this afternoon.

Season 2

Damage Control [ 2.01]

Sarah: [to Barb, about polygamy] I don't think anybody knows, Mom, and not everybody cares.

The Writing on the Wall [2.02]

Nicki: I didn't marry for love. I married for the principle.

Barb: I didn't. I tried. I don't know if I have a testimony for the principle. But I love you, I love our family more and more.

Nicki: That frightens me. I don't know that a marriage based on love can go the distance. The secret holiness of the institution. The sanctity of marriage. Without it, it's just random couplings, with no purpose or stick-to-it-iveness. How will we survive the bad times on just love?

---

Nicki: [to Margie] Poor Joey and Wanda. They're all they've got. No other spouses to lean on. How are they going to make it through this crisis with only each other?

Reunion [2.03]

Adaleen: [to 10-year-old girl] OK, here's how it goes; it's complicated, so try to follow along. I'm 32nd of 56 children, and when I married Roman I became my own step-grandma, because my father married Roman's daughter, Baylene. [conversation continues off screen] So, little Josie, that makes you my step-grandma, and I'm your stepmom. And when I had Alby he became my great-uncle and I became his great-great-grandmother. Which of course makes me my own grandmother.

Dating Game [2.06]

Bill: You're my wife, Margene. You can't be seeing the girl I'm dating.

Good Guys and Bad Guys [2.07]

Margie: Nicki doesn't have a mom anymore, so she's trying to steal mine.

Kingdom Come [2.08]

Margie: Nicki, can I tell you a secret?

Nicki: If you must.

Season 3

Come, Ye Saints [3.06]

Wayne: He was really scary, Mom!

Nicki: All Baptists are, honey.

Season 4

End of Days [4.09]

Bill: [Election night speech] I'm Bill Henrickson, and I believe in the principle of plural marriage. I am a polygamist.

Cast

• Bill Paxton - Bill Henrickson
• Jeanne Tripplehorn - Barbara Henrickson
• Chloë Sevigny - Nicolette Grant
• Ginnifer Goodwin - Margene Heffman
• Amanda Seyfried - Sarah Henrickson
• Douglas Smith - Ben Henrickson
• Grace Zabriskie - Lois Henrickson
• Bruce Dern - Frank Harlow
• Joel McKinnon Miller - Don Embry
• Harry Dean Stanton - Roman Grant
• Daveigh Chase - Rhonda Volmer
• Shawn Doyle - Joey Henrickson
• Melora Walters - Wanda Henrickson
• Matt Ross - Alby Grant
• Mary Kay Place - Adaleen Grant

External links

• Official site
• Big Love quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Big Love at TV.com