Bill Burr

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Bill Burr

Bill Burr is an Irish American stand-up comedian from Canton, Massachusetts.


  • Seriously, any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice. – You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"
  • Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
  • There's a critical point, when you've stayed single too long, that your brain switches from "No, don't say that" to "Eh, fuck it. Say it, see what happens."
    • Why Do I Do This? (2008)

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