Bo Burnham

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search
Bo Burnham at CWRU, 2009-03-19.jpg

Bo Burnham (born August 21, 1990) is an American singer-songwriter, comedian, and Internet celebrity.


Words, Words, Words (2010)[edit]

  • When I say "Hey!" you say "Ho!" Hey! [Audience: Ho!] Hey! [Ho!] That's basically how Hitler rose to power.
  • Heckler: I'll have your babies!
Bo: ...I'm keeping them.
  • I've always wanted a black girlfriend. Not as a joke, just so when we sixty-nine I can call it Yin-Yanging.
  • Let us pray...Oh, uh, please don't feel like you can't participate if you're not Christian, because this is a prayer for all faiths...
Dear Jesus of Nazareth, first of all I would like to thank you for calling yourself Jesus of Nazareth, it's sorta like The Lord of the Rings or something; "I am Jesus of Nazareth, son of Orflac the Butcher!" We know, Lord, from John 3:16 that you so loved the world that you sent your only son to die for us. Your only son...but at the same time we're all your children, so, in your eyes, we're a bunch of girls. So help us as we struggle with the temptations of lesbianism. Amen.
  • Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
  • This next piece is called "Sonnet 155", or "If Shakespeare Had Written a Porn", and it goes like this:
I saw the morning dew betwixt thine thighs
As I removed my source of Grecian power;
As if King Midas dared to touch the skies,
Upon thy body fell a golden shower.
Thy body's temples, two church bells had rung;
Upon thy chest, a row of pearls bestowed;
The sun had set, thy set with wary hung;
I thought, "How black a night" and blew a load.
I said, "What light through yonder beaver breaks?
It is the yeast and now my belly's yellow;
My pole gives cause to storms and earthy quakes,
But 'tis not massive, I am no Othello.
And when that final moment came to pass,
Like Christ, I came a-riding on an ass.

what. (2013)[edit]

  • This next song is about how sad I am. It's about all the sad stuff; just picture a depressed onion cutting itself.

Sourced[edit]

  • I always wanted to be a comedian and actor, [...] I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: