Bruce Almighty

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Bruce Almighty is a 2003 film about a man who, after complaining that God is unfair, is given God's powers.

Directed by Tom Shadyac. Written by Steve Koren, Mark O'Keefe, and Steve Oedekerk.
He's got the power.taglines

Contents

[edit] Bruce

  • Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!
  • Okay, You win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want You to decide what's right for me! I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL!
  • And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

[edit] God

  • Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It’s a magic trick. A single mom who’s working two jobs and still finds time to take her son to practice, that’s a miracle. A teenager who says 'no' to drugs and 'yes' to an education, that’s a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is they have the power. Want see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

[edit] Dialogue

[Bruce just discovered that Evan got the anchor job]
Bruce: Oh, look. It's the owner of the Maid of the Mist. Let's have a talk with him, shall we? Come on in here, Bill. No, no, no, no. No, no. Come on. Let's have a talk.
Grace: Come on! What are you DOING?!
Bruce: Bill, you've been running the Maid of the Mist for 23 years now. Tell me. Why do you think I didn't get the anchor
Bill (Ferry Owner): Hey, man. I don't want any problems. I don't want...
Bruce: Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me? ERODING, EEEERODING, EEEEEERODDDING.
Jack: Cut the feed. Go to black.
Technician: I'm on it.
Bruce: I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you, FUCKERS! [flips off the bird]
Jack: Oh boy.
Grace: Oh, my God.
God: "The gloves are off, God." "God has taken my bird and my bush." "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass." "Smite me, O mighty smiter!" Now, I'm not much for blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh.
Bruce: Who are you?
God: I'm the one. Creator of the heavens and earth, Alpha and Omega. Bruce, I'm God.
Bruce: Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says, 'God'! Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing! Well, it was very nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you suck!
Lead Thug: I'll tell you what. When a monkey comes out of my butt, you'll get your "sorry". How about that?
Bruce: What a coincidence! Because that's... today.
[A monkey comes out of the Lead Thug's butt]
Thug #1: Hey, did that monkey just come out your crack, man?!
Thug #2: This is some voodoo shit, man! Vamanos!
Bruce: Are you guys leavin'? Hey, don't forget your parting gifts! [Breathes hornets at them, and is then joined by the monkey] Hey there, little anal-dwelling butt monkey! Time for you to go home, little buddy. [The monkey re-enters the Lead Thug's butt]
Evan: In other news, the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France.
Director: What did he just say? Check the prompter.
Technician: The prompter's fine.
Director: Evan, read the copy. Please, the copy's good, just... read it.
Evan: The White House Reception Committee greeted the Prime rib roast Minister, and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I "lika"... do... da cha-cha. I'm sorry, we seem to be having some "tactical" difficulties...
Bruce: (trying to pray)Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all mankind. (to God)How was that?
God: That was good... If you wanna be Miss America. C'mon, what do you really want?
Bruce: (starting to break down)Grace.

[edit] Homeless Man Signs

  • R EWE BLIND
  • LOOK TO YOURSELF
  • LIFE IS JUST
  • THY KINGDUMB COME
  • ALL FOR WON
  • GOD BEE GOOD HONEY
  • Bruce: (with his own sign) WHATEVER HE SAID →
  • ARMAGEDDON OUTA HERE

[edit] Taglines

  • He's got the power.
  • In Bruce We Trust?
  • If you could be God for one week, what would you do?
  • The guy next door just became the man upstairs.

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

Wikipedia
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