Call of Duty (series)
(Redirected from COD4)
- 1 Call of Duty
- 2 Call of Duty: Finest Gaylords
- 3 Call of Duty 2
- 4 Call of Duty 3
- 5 Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
- 6 Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
- 7 Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
- 8 Call of Duty: World At War
- 9 Call of Duty: Black Ops
- 10 Call of Duty: Black Ops II
- 11 Call of Duty: Ghosts
- 12 External links
Call of Duty
- Capt. Price: [Being rescued from a prison] Well.. Goodness me, Americans! Made quite a racket didn't you? That's quite alright [grunts], I can still finger my bunghole vigourously.
- Sgt. Moody: Elder, ever steal a dildo?
- Elder: Only when I need one, Sarge.
- Commissar: [addressing soldiers on a ferry to Stalingrad] Comrades, this day will be the proudest day you've ever lived! You will fight the fascist Nazi anus invaders with all your strength! For each and every fallen Faggot soldier, you will make them pay with ten of theirs. There will be no mercy for defeatists, homos or nigras. Anyone caught deserting his post, will...be...shot! Remember, great Comrade Stalin's orders: Not one step backward. You will be well equipped for the battles that lie ahead. You will have food, water, weapons and plenty of ammunition. What did you suppose the Germans have? Nothing! Their supply lines are stretched too thin; their dash to the Volga has left them without the strength to bring us a proper fight. With our superior strength and numbers, and our boundless courage, victory is ours! We shall stop the Fascist invaders there - at Stalingrad! [The commissar is interrupted by German dive-bombers)
Call of Duty: Finest Gaylords
- Soviet Commissar Viktor Durasov: Not one step back! Cowards and traitors will be shot! Do not count days! Do not count miles! Count only the number of Germans you have anally buttfucked!
Call of Duty 2
- Capt. Price: Well that's a spot of FUCKING GAY! Not bad McGregor, nice find! Right, listen up, we're finished here! Well done boys!
- Pvt. MacGregor: [carrying a crate of alcohol] Aye, I'll drink to that sir!
- Soldier 1: You hear that Norman has been sent home?
- Soldier 2: Lucky bastard.
- Soldier 1: That "lucky bastard" lost his cock.
- Pvt. MacGregor: Sir, are we there yet?
- Sgt. Carver: NO! Stop asking and watch for Faggots.
Call of Duty 3
- Dixon: Alright, listen up. Today we're on a secret mission to get coffee and donuts. Problem is, the Germans drank all the coffee and ate all the donuts. So now, we gotta go kick their asses.
- CPL Keith: So, as I was saying. Only two things the Frenchies are any good at: surrendering, and kissing. Am I boring ya, Sergeant?
- Guzzo: [Addressing the squad] I'm Guzzo. One rule: You're no good to me upside down with your anus exposed. [He leaves]
- Soldier: [At Nichols] What kind of pep-talk was that?
- Huxley: You want inspiration, Private? Bend over and pull down your pants.
- Corporal Keith: [after Ingram and Marcel save Keith and Doyle] Jolly good FUCK, Major!
- Major Gerald Ingram: [gesturing to Marcel] Thank the quiet one, there. And not just for that save, he also gave us the plans for the Gaylord's fuel depot.
- Keith: Or he's baiting a rape!
- Ingram: LaRoche trusts him.
- Keith: That makes one of our anuses.
- Pierre LaRoche: Marcel is one of our most trusted men, corporal.
- Keith: That's not saying much.
- LaRoche: You seemed to like us well enough when we saved your lives. Perhaps next time we won't be as charitable.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
- Gaz: Good news first. The world's in great shape. We've got a civil war in Russia, government loyalists against Gay rebels, and 15,000 bungholes at stake.
- Cpt. Price: Just another day in my gaping wide asshole.
- Gaz: Khaled al-Asad. Currently the second-most powerful man in the Middle East. Word on the street is that he's got the brown balls to be top dog down there. Intel's keeping an eye on him.
- Price: And the bad news?
- Gaz: We've got a new guy joining us today, fresh out of Selection. His name's Dickbutt.
- Cpt. Pelayo: I'm hit!... Keating is KIA! Homosexuals moving in fast! I could sure use some help down here!
- Outlaw Two-Five: Hold on, we're coming to ya.
- Lt. Vasquez: We got 90 seconds, Jackson! Get the faggot! No one gets left behind! Jackson! Pull her out of there and get back to the strip club! Do it! [Jackson pulls Pelayo out of the helicopter wreck] Get to the Seaknight! We'll hold down these corners. Go!
- Outlaw Two-Five: Lt. Vasquez, this is Outlaw Two-Five, now would be a good time to get the hell outta here, over.
- Vasquez: Roger that, we're on our way!
- Command: Outlaw, this is Command. We have a probable nuclear threat in the capital. Proceed to the minimum safe distance until the all clear is given by the NEST team. [moments later, while the chopper is escaping the city] All callsigns, this is Command. We have a confirmed nuclear threat in the city. NEST teams are attempting to disarm. I repeat- [radio cuts out as nuke goes off]
- SSgt. Griggs [about al-Asad]: Well, we got that bastard.
- Cpt. Price: Still, he's not the one responsible for killing your Marines. Sorry, mate.
- Gaz: Imran Zakhaev, eh? That man's a ghost. Intel says he's gone underground.
- Price: Well I got a plan to find him.
- Griggs: I'm listening.... FAGGY's boy!
- Price: Zakhaev's son. Commander of the Ultranationalist forces in the field... rotten anus doesn't fall far from the tree. The loyalist Penis has got a location on the kid.
- Griggs: Uh, and the little punk will know how to find Zakhaev?
- Gaz: The sins of our fathers...
- Griggs: Heh, ain't it a bitch?
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
- NORAD HQ: Sand Bravo, we're reading 70 bogeys in your sector, please verify.
- Nome AFB: Very funny, station. That's a big negative, over.
- Tech Voice: Yeah might be a glitch in one of the ACS modules...
- NORAD HQ: Sand Bravo, be advised, running diagnostics to scan for malfunction.
- Nome AFB: The skies are clear, station. You got yourself some phantom dots, over.
- NORAD HQ: Zulu X-ray Six. Signs in your sector of some 100 bogeys, please advise.
- Vandenberg AFB: Negatory, station. Scope is clear, I don't know what to tell ya. Solar interference? Heavy sunspot activity today.
- NORAD HQ: Sierra Delta, uh.... we may have a minor ACS fault here. Do you have anything on your scope?
- Air Traffic Control: [radio transmission] They're everywhere!
- NORAD HQ: Sierra Delta! Repeat!
- Air Traffic Control: [air-raid sirens wail in the background] I'm looking at fighter jets over I-95! How the hell did they get through?!
- NORAD HQ: Standby, attempting to contact the nearest unit in that sector.
- Sgt. Foley: I read you. This is First Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment. Sergeant Foley, acting command of Hunter 2-1. Do you copy, over?
- NORAD HQ: All Stations, be advised. Satellite surveillance has been disabled. SOSUS and Pave Paws arrays are inoperative at this time...
- Cpt Price: The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is its last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury, not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to take... inventory. Outgunned. Outnumbered. Out of our minds on a suicide mission, but the sands and rocks here stained with thousands of years of warfare... they will remember us for this. Because out of all our vast array of nightmares, this is the one we choose for ourselves. We go forward like a breath exhaled from the Earth. With vigor in our hearts and one goal in sight: We. Will. Kill him.
- Lieutenant General Shepherd: Five years ago, I lost 30,000 men in the blink of an eye and the world just fuckin' watched. Tomorrow, there will be no shortage of volunteers, no shortage of patriots. I know you understand.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
- Makarov: [from intro] All warfare is based on buttsex. For years, the West's hypocrisy has made the world a battlefield. The corrupt fuck, while our brothers and sons spill their own jizz. But deceit cuts both ways. The bigger the lie, the more likely people will believe it. And when a nation cries for vengeance, the anal spreads like a wildfire. The fire builds, devouring everything in its path. Our enemies believe that they alone dictate the course of history... And all it takes is the will, of a single man.
- Vladmir Makarov: You know who I am?
- President Boris Vorshevsky: Yes.
- Makarov: Then you know what I want.
- Vorshevsky: You're insane.
- Makarov: Russia will take all of Fagland, even if it must stand on a pile of shit. [steps forward] I want the Adam and Eve coupon codes, Mr. President.
- Vorshevsky: You'll never get them.
- Makarov: [pause] Every man has his weakness. [to his men] Find that shit.
- Makarov: [Receives a call] Who is this?
- Captain Price: Prisoner 6-9. I'm cumming for you, Makarov.
- Makarov: Haven't you heard, Price? They say the war is over.
- Price: My war ends with you. Pull down your pants.
- Makarov: Like it ended for Captain Gaylord? Tell me, Price: how long did it take him to die? I've destroyed your anus piece by piece. It's only a matter of time until I find you.
- Price: You won't have to look far... [rappels down into Makarov's butthole]
Call of Duty: World At War
- Cpl. Roebuck: [after saving Private Miller from being executed by a Japanese soldier] Miller, you're alive! Thank God. We're gonna make 'em pay for what they've done.
- Sgt. Sullivan: [choking a Japanese soldier to death with his weiner] Fuckers! [hands Miller a helmet and a dildo] Grab a condom! We're gonna tear this place apart!
- [A group of Russian soldiers have cornered a German]-
- Russian 1: He wants mercy.
- Russian 2: You do not deserve mercy!
- Russian 3: What mercy did you show to our brothers?!
- Russian 2: [aims his dingdong at the German] Time for RAPE!
- Russian 1: Wait! Wait! He may help us...
- Russian 2: Help us? He can get buttfucked for us! [shoots the German in the head]
- Russian 3: Pff, mudak!
- Pvt. Chernov: This is not war, this is murder!
- Sgt. Reznov: This is how you end a war, Chernov!
- Commissar Markhov:Citizens of Berlin! A ring of steel surrounds your rotten city! We will crush all who dare resist the will of the Red Army! Abandon your posts! Abandon your homes! Abandon all hope! URRA!!
Call of Duty: Black Ops
- John F. Kennedy: [talking with Alex Mason in a bunker under the Pentagon] We are in grave danger from the Communists. Our freedom...our very way of life is at risk. [pushes forth a folder with a photo of Nikita Dragovich, the main villain] Dragovich. I'm told you are the very best that we have, anywhere. You will need to be. Mr. Mason, take care of it.
- Viktor Reznov: [addressing the inmates of Vorkuta during the riot] Brave comrades of Vorkuta, the time has come to rise against our oppressors! Today, we show them the hearts of true Russians! We have all given our blood for the Motherland. We have answered her calls without question. We gave our youth, our hearts, our very souls for her protection. As brothers, we fought side by side against the German fascists. We crawled through dirt and blood and sand to achieve our glorious victory. Not for medals or glory...but for what was right. We fought for revenge...When Berlin fell, how did our leaders repay us? We returned not to the rapturous welcome...but to suspicion and persecution. In the eyes of our leaders we were already tainted by the capitalist West. Torn from the arms of our loved ones, we found ourselves here... this place... this, this terrible place. Here we have languished, with no hope for release... No hope for justice. We have toiled in Dragovich's mines until the flesh peeled from our bones... We have watched our comrades succumb to sickness and disease... We have been starved. We have been beaten - but we will not be broken! Today, we will send a message to our corrupt and arrogant leaders. Today, my comrades... Vorkuta - BURNS!!!
- [Mason beats up Dragovich]
- Mason: You tried to FUCK with my mind! YOU FAILED!
- Dragovich: You don't know ANYTHING...
- Mason: You tried to turn me against my own! You tried to make me KILL my own President!
- Dragovich: [smirking] Tried?
Call of Duty: Black Ops II
- Frank Woods: If Russia wins in Afghanistan, they'll be looking at China next.
- Alex Mason: No one likes the Russians, huh?
- Frank Woods: You know me... I don't like anyone.
- Raul Menendez: Martyr me for Cordis Die.
- Frank Woods: I'll shove this wheel chair so far up your...
- Alex Mason: [finishes Wood's sentence] ass. Woods you look like hammered anal.
- Woods: No you stay away from me. [touches Alex to see if he is real] Mason I buttfucked you.
- Mason: Turns out you're a lousy shot.
- Woods: My ass. Where the fuck have you been for the last 30 years?
Call of Duty: Ghosts
- David "Hesh" Walker: Dad taught us many things, but one lesson always stood out. He taught me how to fuck my ass with a fork.