Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was a 1968 children's film based on a 1964 novel by Ian Fleming, and made by a team which included many who had worked on the James Bond series.

Grandpa Potts

• Nasty smelly things, motorcars!
• Never say "no" to adventures. Always say "yes", otherwise you'll lead a very dull life.
• [reading a book out loud] And the big brown bear came lolloping over the mountain. "No, no!" the princess cried.

Caractacus Potts

• You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious.
• [to Truly] Maybe my children like running wild in the street. Had that occured to you?

Toymaker

• Hey, you there, get those children in here!! Get them in before the soldiers get here!! We must get those children out of sight, if the soldiers come they will take them away, uh um, no one's allowed to have children in Vulgaria!! The Baroness, she hates children!!

• Here's some good advice, take your children and your good lady out of Vulgaria. Look, I'm only a toymaker, and if I don't finish this in time for the Baron's birthday tomorrow I shall be a dead toymaker!!

Child Catcher

• There are children here somewhere. I can smell them.
• Come along, kiddie-winkies!
• Here we are children, Come and get your lollipops, Lollipops, Come along my little ones.
• There all free today, Cherry pie, Cream puffs, Ice Cream, Treacle Tart.
• [to the Toymaker] I don't trust a man who makes toys in a land where children are forbidden.
• [threatening the Toymaker] The Baroness will have your teeth for a necklace, and your eyeballs for earrings.
• Let me tell you something, Toymaker. This nose of mine has never failed me. And if there are children here, my friend... you will die. [laughs maniacally]
• Fool, Idiot, Out of my way!

Dialogue

Jemimah: He's awful!

Jeremy: He's terrible!

Caractacus Potts: Not only that, he isn't even nice!

---

Caractacus Potts: Do you think Coggins might do a deal, so much a week?

Grandpa: Coggins? That lives down the road? Sure. He wouldn't light your pipe if his house was on fire.

---

Caractacus Potts: How was India, Grandpa?

Grandpa: How was India? I'll tell you how India was. I got up this morning and I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

Grandpa, Caractacus, Jemimah, and Jeremy: How an elephant got in my pajamas, I shall never know.

Grandpa: You've heard it before.

[They all laugh.]

---

Caractacus Potts: You see I've invented these sweets.

Lord Scrumptious' Secretory: Oh really? Name?

Caractacus Potts: Uh...Whistling Sweets.

Lord Scrumptious' Secretory: Mr. Whistling Sweets. (writes it down)

Caractacus Potts: (laughs) Mr. Whistling Sweets!! Uh no. I'm... uh... Potts.

Lord Scrumptious' Secretory: Hmmm... (writes it down)

---

Truly Scrumptious: Well! I've never been...

Caractacus Potts: Spoken to like that? Well, maybe it's about time!

---

Caractacus Potts: The nerve of that woman! Coming in here and telling me how to raise my children! Do I need someone telling me how to raise my children? Do I? Where is my cardigan?

Jemimah: Under your jacket.

Caractacus Potts: Under-. Yes. Self-righteous busy body. Well, she won't be bothering us anymore.

Jemimah: But I liked her.

Jeremy: So did I. She was very pretty.

Caractacus Potts: She certainly was. Do you think your father's a crackpot?

Jeremy: Your cardigan's inside out.

Caractacus Potts: What? Oh. Do you think I'm a lunatic? Wasting my time on a lot of silly inventions?

Jemimah: But they aren't silly! They're wonderful!

Jeremy: Nobody else can think of them.

Caractacus Potts: That's right! That is right! Nobody else can think of them.

---

Truly Scrumptious: [after Potts kisses her] Well, Mr. Potts!

Caractacus Potts: What's wrong?

Truly Scrumptious: Now you'll have to marry me!

[They laugh as they head for the car.]

---

Truly Scrumptious: Wh-what are you going to do?

Caractacus Potts: I'm going to carry you.

Truly Scrumptious: Oh dear. Must you?

Caractacus Potts: Well, unless you'd rather ride piggyback.

---

Truly Scrumptious: What's your name?

Jemimah: I'm Jemimah.

Jeremy: And I'm Jeremy.

Jemimah: What's yours?

Truly Scrumptious: Truly.

Jemimah: That's a very pretty name.

Truly Scrumptious: Now, where is your house?

Jeremy: Oh, we don't live in a house.

Jemimah: We live a castle. On top of a hill.

Truly Scrumptious: [laughs] A castle? I didn't know there were any castles around here.

Jemimah: Well, it isn't a castle exactly.

Jeremy: That's what Daddy calls it. He says King Alfred used to live there hundreds of years ago.

Truly Scrumptious: And does your Daddy know you aren't in school?

Jemimah: Oh, he won't mind. He never does.

Jeremy: Anyway, he's awful busy.

Truly Scrumptious: Is he? Well, he'll have to find time to see me because I have a few things to say to him.

---

[The two spies are thrown off the baron's blimp and into the sea]

Second Spy: What do we do now?

First Spy: Start swimming!

Second Spy: I don't swim!

First Spy: Then start drowning! [swims away]

---

Truly Scrumptious: What an unusual car.

Jeremy: Daddy made it.

Truly Scrumptious: [laughs] Oh? And it actually goes?

Jemimah: It's called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Truly Scrumptious: That's a curious name for a motorcar.

Jemimah: But that's the sound it makes. Listen.

---

Caractacus Potts: And after that, Vulgaria became a free country and all the children laughed and played in the sunshine, and they were very, very happy. And Chitty flew high over the mountains back to England, everyone safe and sound, and...

Jemimah: And Daddy and Truly were married.

Jeremy: And lived happily ever after.

Jemimah: Yes!

Truly Scrumptious: Is that how the story ends?

Caractacus Potts: [pauses] It's getting late. We'd better be getting back. [gets out to restart the car]

---

Caractacus Potts: Truly! I'm sorry about the children. I hope they didn't embarrass you.

Truly Scrumptious: In what way?

Caractacus Potts: Why, that silly joke about us getting married. Well, you know how kids are.

Truly Scrumptious: Yes, I understand.

Caractacus Potts: Well, I don't think they realize how ridiculous that would be.

Truly Scrumptious: Ridiculous?

Caractacus Potts: Well, yes. Well, the factory, and your father and all. It's a different world, Truly.

Truly Scrumptious: You know, if I said something like that, you'd call me a snob.

Caractacus Potts: [realizes his mistake] What? I didn't mean sn...

Truly Scrumptious: [offended] Goodbye!

---

Peter: Sir, have you come to help us? [Catactacus walks over to him] Are you going to help us out of here?

Caractacus Potts: [kneels in front of him] What's your name, son?

Peter: Peter, sir.

Caractacus Potts: [compassionately] Well Peter, you shouldn't be afraid. [Truly, the Toymaker, and the children listen with interest] Even in a terrible place like this. Because there's always hope. That's what I always tell my children when they're...afraid.

---

[After the reprise of "Hushabye Mountain"]

Truly Scrumptious: It's a beautiful dream Caractacus, but I don't see how it's gonna help them.

[Truly looks at the children around them and Caractacus stands up.]

Caractacus Potts: [confidently] You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get up into that castle!

Toymaker: [incredulous] It is impossible!

Caractacus Potts: Well, we'll see.

[Caractacus runs up to a large water channel and looks at the children watching.]

Caractacus Potts: [loud and clear] Now everyone listen to me! You wanna get out of here, don't you?

[The children cheer and Caractacus moves behind the water channel.]

Caractacus Potts: Tomorrow is Baron Bomburst's birthday, yes?

[The children boo with their thumbs down.]

Caractacus Potts: [proud and confident] Well, we're gonna give him a birthday party he'll never forget!

[The children cheer and gather around as Caractacus makes the plan.]