Chris irvine
From Wikiquote
Christopher Irvine is a professional wrestler on RAW under the name Chris Jericho.
[edit] In Independent Wrestling
"There's a fine line between a pat on the back, and a kick in the pants.So let's dance!" (Quote from A Lion's Tale, p. 85)
[edit] WWE RAW
- (19th November 2007)
- Jericho: [To Randy Orton, in reference to what he is saving us from] Well your boring personality for one. You want me to continue? How about saving us from that face that looks like you got flattened by a frying pan. Or your monotonous, robotic, Randy Orton voice. Or how 'bout I save us from your child-bearing hips, your super cuts hairstyle, your subscription to Blue Ball magazine? But most importantly, Randy Orton, I'm here to save us, from you. Because the first chance I get I'm gonna take that WWE Championship from you, and I'm gonna put it 'round this gorgeous waist, and when I do, Monday Night RAW, the WWE, sports entertainment, entertainment entertainment, the state of Florida, the country of the United States, the Western Hemisphere, the planet Earth, the heavens above, the galaxies, the crab nebula, the Universe its self... will never, never, never, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever, be the same, again.
- (26th November 2007)
- Jericho: It's a message that's loud and clear, Chris Jericho wants a match for the title, everyone knows that Chris Jericho wants a match for the title, everyone except for Randy Orton. And at first I thought 'I haven't heard from this man all week, I haven't gotten an answer, yes or no', at first I thought it was because it was a spineless, cowardly, jellyfish, but then I realized that he's just... too stupid to understand the question. He has the IQ of a kumquat, and I think I used too big words, I spoke too quickly, Randy got lost in the shuffle! So I'm going to ask the question slowly, I'm going to ask it with very short words, in a way that even Randy can understand - I'm gonna Ortonize it okay? Me, want, title, match! Very simple! Me want, title match! Randy can even understand that, if you don't, I even brought visual aids, just for you, Mr. O. [Camera shows Titantron]
- Me, [Shows picture of Jericho on the Titantron]
- Want, [Shows picture of Cookie Monster]
- Title, [Shows picture of WWE Title]
- Match! [Shows picture of a lit match]
- Say it with me now! Me, want, title, match!
- Jericho: [On commentary with JR] LAWLER! LAWLER! LAWLER! BY GOD JR!
Chris Jericho: Welcome to Raw is Jericho. And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Chris Jericho, your new hero, your party host and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who do know me...well, all hail the ayatollah of rock and roll-ah. Now, when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era. In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF. Thank you...thank you. And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trendsetting program has now deteriorated into a clichéd...lets be honest...boring, snooze-fest that is in dire need of a knight in shining armour and that’s why I'm here. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF. Now lets go over the facts: television ratings - downward spiral, Pay Per View birates - plummeting, mainstream acceptance - non existent and reactions of the live crowds - complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent. You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quiet honestly, I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre 'sports entertainers' who you are forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering. You couldn't care less about every single idiot in that dressing room and especially this idiot in the centre of the ring. (Jericho points to The Rock) You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Ah-ah. Jericho is excellence. And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you, you have a man who is good enough for you, you have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy, fat, little hands in the air and scream “Go Jericho Go, Go Jericho Go, Go Jericho Go.” The new millennium has arrived in the WWF. And now that the Y2J problem is here, this company, from the front office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one (Jericho points to The Rock again) to everybody watching tonight, will never, eeeeeeever be the same again. The Rock: After three boring minutes The Rock says “Know your role and shut your mouth.” How dare you little jabroni come on The Rock’s show and not even have the class to introduce yourself. What is your name? Chris Jericho: I told you… The Rock: It doesn’t matter what your name is. The Rock says you talk about your Y2J plan, well The Rock has a little plan of his own and its called the KY Jelly plan which means The Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candyass. If you smell what The Rock is cooking. (Chris Jericho's WWE debut on 9 August 1999)
Chris Jericho: And this is exactly what I was talking about last week. You two giant slugs have been out here for what; 3 - 4 minutes and already you have forced these poor people to drift off into their own little worlds, completely oblivious to what you’re saying and completely oblivious to you. I mean, you two morons couldn’t string together two intelligent words and I was forced to come out here and save this segment. Personification of evil, huh. I say personification of boredom. The only thing scary about you two is the amount of TV time you get which causes the people to pick up the remote and change the channel, looking for a hero. Well, stop changing the channel because you’re hero has arrived. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF. Finally there’s a man who’s entertaining enough and exciting enough to bring this company back to prominence and make some money for this beleaguered promotion. And I’m here to say that ‘Raw is Snore’ is now dead and buried and long live ‘Raw is Jericho’. ( Jericho interrupting Big Show and Undertaker)
Chris Jericho:Hey, if you’re looking for something to kiss, here’s an idea, why don’t you pucker up those lips and kiss my ass. I mean, I don’t know if it was more painful beating Kane in the Last Man Standing match last Sunday or watching Lita get hit on by a past his prime nerd with the sex appeal of Urkel. So, Dean Malurkel, it’s go time!
