Chuck (TV series)

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Chuck (2007–2012) is an American television series, airing on NBC, about an average computer-whiz-next-door who receives an encoded e-mail from an old friend, a rogue CIA agent, which embeds the world's greatest spy secrets in his brain.

Contents

[edit] Season 1

[edit] Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]

Chuck: [after the super secret computer was downloaded into his head] Morgan, did you spike the punch?
Morgan: Something goes wrong, you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust?
[pause]
Morgan: Yes, I did.
Chuck: [Sarah, disguised as a ninja, is stealing his computer] Please... not the computer.
Sarah: Come any closer, I shoot!
Casey: You shoot him, I shoot you, I leave both your bodies here and go out for a late night snack. I'm thinking maybe pancakes.
Morgan: Stop the presses! Who is that!? Viky Vale!
Chuck: Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Vale, Vickity Vickity, Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Va...
[sees Sarah]
Sarah: Hope I'm not interupting.
Chuck: Uh no, not at all. It's from Batman.
Sarah: And that makes it better?
Sarah: Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck. Or Morgan, for that matter.
Chuck: My parents were sadists, and carnival freaks found him in a dumpster.
Morgan: But they raised me as one of their own.
Jeff: What if you're the unwitting target of a ninja vendetta, and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchuks?
Chuck: ...That's super, Jeff. Thanks for thinking outside the box on that one. Here I thought I couldn't get any more freaked out.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]

General Beckman: Our most valuable secrets have been sent to an idiot.
Director Graham: At least they weren't sent to his friend.
Ellie: How did you get in here?
Morgan: Chuck's window, or as I like to call it, the "Morgan Door."
Chuck: [about Sarah meeting his family for the first time] It's a big step, if our relationship were remotely real.
Casey: This is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna go over there, rescue Sarah, capture Dr. Zarnow, shoot anybody who gets in my way. You, you're gonna stay in the car.
Chuck: So in this plan I basically do nothing?
Casey: Yup.
Chuck: [dramatically] ...Let's do this.
Casey: I don't kid about quiches.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]

Chuck: Big Mike wants us to fix all these computers in two days or he's giving the position to Tang. Sorry guys. And Anna.
Anna: "Guys" is fine; I don't mind.
Chuck: It's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific. How do we feel about "team"?
Anna: Fellow Nerd Herders?
Lester: The Lesters?
Jeff: Chuck's Stable of Hos?
Morgan: Because tonight Chuck Bartowski is boldly going where none of us have gone before. To have intercourse with a beautiful woman.
Anna: Speak for yourself.
[Everyone stares at Anna]
Casey: [after throwing a microwave at someone's head] Now that's what I call moving some merchandise.
Chuck: [regarding the pictures of dead people] Why are they sleeping?
Sarah: They're not sleeping. They're dead.
Sarah: We need you to tell us who killed them, and why.
Chuck: [putting the pictures down] How should I know?
Casey: Look at them again.
Chuck: I would really rather not. It's kind of creepy.
La Ciudad: I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.
Chuck: Right. Apparently I learned the girls' part of this dance. Would you mind leading?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]

Chuck: The guy in the furry sweater forgot to mention something.
Chuck: How am I supposed to know that Carina has a remote control jet ski? It's usually not an option in real life.
Chuck: I count six SVB54 explosion protected security cameras with infrared surveillance.
Sarah: Did you have a flash?
Chuck: No, they sell them at the Spy Shop in the Buy More plaza.
Carina: Now, see that man over there? Payman Alahi, his house, his party, his diamond... for now.
Chuck: Are you talking about Señor Wookiee over there?
Morgan: Chuck, I know what a third wheel is. I know it's me. Give, give me a chance here, man. Let, let me be a fourth wheel for once. Or maybe I can be any other even number.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]

[After Chuck has food delivered to their stakeout vehicle.]
Casey: The idea behind a stakeout is to remain inconspicuous, you moron.
Chuck: Uh, hello? That's why I used an alias.
Casey: Stay in the car.
Chuck: That's my four favorite words.
Morgan: I'll let myself out.
Ellie: That's my four favorite words.
Chuck: So listen, I've been thinking a lot about last night. And you know, you guys were talking about how this spy could be, you know, valuable to us. So I was thinking what if we could convince her to, I dont know, like give up... some secret stuff...
Sarah: You mean defect?
Chuck: Defect, yes! People do that kind of thing all the time, right? The Hunt for Red October... uh... White Nights. [after Casey stares blankly at him] White Nights? Gregory Hines... Baryshnikov... dancing their way to freedom?
Casey: [sarcastically] Well, as long as you've done serious research on the subject. You get her to defect, I'll help rescuing her brother personally.
Sarah: Why are you bringing this up?
Chuck: Well, she sort of, uh, just... called me.
Casey: She called you? Where?
Chuck: At the Buy More. And I think she might been in the store too, because she knew my every move. She even knew I had mustard on my tie.
Mei-Ling Cho: [preparing to rescue Mei-Ling's brother] Good, every warm body helps.
Chuck: Oh, no, I have plans with my sister. They are non-negotiable.
[everyone looks at him]
Chuck: Though I guess it is kinda my fault. You wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me. You obviously want to be with your brother, just like I want to be with my sister. We're like one big wacky transatlantic family.
[pause]
Chuck: I'm in, but I have to be back by eight.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]

Laszlo: [pointing a gun at Chuck] I didn't kill anyone! I was framed!
Chuck: Okay! Okay! I believe you! But FYI, you're kinda acting like a murderer.
Awesome: Morgan, there comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself, "Am I a tucker?"
Casey: You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski?
Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, alright?
Casey: [sarcastically] Oh, I bet you did, slugger.
Chuck: I thought we're all suppose to be part of the same team here, huh, Team Chuck?
Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy that always gets picked last, and I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!
Anna: [as Morgan eats old food out of the refrigerator] Morgan's so awesome! He can eat anything...
Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool.
Chuck: I used to be cool? When, when was that? When we were 13? Well, I hate to go changing on you, buddy, but if you hadn't noticed we are now, chronologically speaking, adults. So, unless you want to work retail for the rest of your life and, by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]

Morgan: Chuck, we have an emergency. We need to talk.
Chuck: I'm on the phone.
Morgan: Shh, not here, not here; there are spies at the Buy More.
Chuck: [hangs up the phone] Spies, really?
Morgan: Yeah, Tang's minions, they're everywhere! He's like the dark Lord Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Only instead of the ring of power he's taken over control of the assistant manager-ship.
Chuck: Yeah, from me, thanks for the reminder.
Morgan: You got it, man. Look we need your help, Chuck.
Chuck: Me, what am I suppose to do? I'm just...
Morgan: One small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend; so thought Frodo Baggins!
Chuck: I'm sorry, but was Harry wearing the new assistant manager polo shirt?
Morgan: It's monogrammed.
Chuck: He must be stopped.
Chuck: No more Wednesday/Friday surf and turf?
Morgan: Harry Tang is drunk with power!
Anna: He could have an accident.
[everyone looks at her]
Anna: I know a guy, very reasonable... His rates, I mean, not him.
Morgan: Way to go, Anna. Thinking outside the box, me likey! What do you say Chuck?
Chuck: What, are you guys crazy? I'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets our lunch schedule!
. . .
Chuck: Did you offer to kill Harry for Anna?
Casey: No. Why, you want me to kill him?
Chuck: No! No, just curious...
Sarah: It says here his weapon of choice is a crossbow.
Chuck: Oh, what, slingshot too ineffective?
Casey: You sure it was Magnus you saw?
Chuck: Gee, I don't know, Casey, how many psycho archers do you know?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]

[Ellie barges into Chuck's bedroom, influenced by truth serum]
Ellie: I have known him since the day he was born (obviously)!
[she sits on the bed between Chuck and Sarah]
Ellie: When people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always say the same thing... "big boy." How cute is that?
Chuck: Ellie, you're killin' me here.
Ellie: And now he is a big boy. [looks at Sarah's chest] And I can tell that he is, because he is with a big... BIG girl.
Awesome: Sorry, guys. Don't mean to muck up your mojo. [to Chuck] I tried to stop her.
Chuck: Is she drunk?
[Awesome shrugs, bewildered]
Ellie: Chuck, you need a haircut. It's starting to make funny animal shapes.
Awesome: Let's go, babe; these two need their privacy.
Ellie: When you were seven, I told you that the burglar stole the money from your piggy bank? That was a lie, it was me. At the time I felt it was very important to have a New Kids fanny pack.
Sarah: Ellie, are you okay? Have you done anything out of the ordinary?
Ellie: ...Words taste like peaches.
Chuck: [to Sarah, under the influence of a truth serum] God you're so pretty! And Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself.
Casey: Thank you.
[knocking on the bad guy's door after being exposed to truth serum]
Reardon Paine: Yes? Who is it?
Chuck: The NSA, CIA, and me! Who's a little tougher to explain...
Sarah: Chuck is not wrong very often.
Casey: But he is annoying all the time.
Sarah: I'm so sorry, Chuck.
Chuck: Hey, I've lived a good life. Who else can say they flew a helicopter or saved the lives of innocent people?
Casey: Courageous and honorable members of the U.S. military.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]

Jeff: Heart breaker.
Lester: Dream maker.
Jeff: Love taker.
Lester: Don't you mess around with Chuck.
[about Chuck's guitar pin bug]
Stavros: I left mine in the 80s.
Chuck: Yeah, I kept mine.
Chuck: Is it me or does our government never want me to have sex again?
Casey: So, how'd it go?
Chuck: My God, I am in the bathroom! Is there nothing sacred to you people?
Casey: Just the right to bear arms.
Chuck: [while on a date with Lou] It wouldn't be an official Chuck Bartowski date if the girl didn't leave injured in some way.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]

Awesome: Now's where we go around and say what we're thankful for. I'm thankful for the most beautiful woman in the world, Ellie Bartowski. Love ya. [to Casey] Your turn.
Casey: I'll pass.
Chuck: I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my room making out with my new girlfriend.
Casey: [gets the hint and leaves the table] Excuse me.
Morgan: Wow, buddy, that was, um, really dark.
Awesome: And specific.
Casey: [Bryce is using Chuck at a shield] I've got a clean shot.
Chuck: No, you don't!
Casey: You'll be fine.
Chuck: No shooting, no shooting! I'm susceptible to bullets!
Sarah: [to Bryce] Why Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah! Why Chuck?
Bryce: Hello, Chuck.
Chuck: Sarah and Casey are right inside; one girlish scream from me and they go into combat mode!
Casey: Well, should I pop some popcorn or beat the answer out of you?
Bryce: No thanks, I'll talk.
Casey: Darn.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]

Chuck: Ah, Roulette. My favorite game aside from Call of Duty.
Sarah: Do you ever just want to have a normal life? Have a family? Children?
Casey: The choice we made to protect something bigger than ourselves is the right choice. Hard as that is for you to remember sometimes.
Chuck: [seeing a knife in Sarah's alarm clock] Not a morning person I see.
Sarah: Depends on the morning.
Sarah: [about the GPS coordinates to his car] Tell him, Casey!
Chuck: [imitating Sarah] Tell me, Casey!
Casey: Bartowski! Walker!
Chuck: [running to Casey] Casey, what're you doing here?
Casey: Someone has to protect the Intersect.
Chuck: Thanks, man.
Casey: Besides, I didn't want to miss any gun play.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]

Chuck: If you want to go through life emotionally constipated and alone then suit yourself. I'll let you go back to protecting the greater good you freaking robot!
Casey: We met in Rome. In a flower shop. Ilsa was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Chuck: I knew it. IT'S ALIVE!
Casey: Relax, I think I see a scenario where we both get out with acceptable losses.
Chuck: What exactly is your version of acceptable?
Casey: Breaks, punctures, possible loss of limb, no major organ damage.
Sarah: Ellie are you sure you're okay?
Ellie: It's just that, I have both feet in and Devon has only one foot in. So then, it's just me taking care of three feet and I wanted it to be us and now taking care of four feet. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Sarah: Completely.
Ellie: Of course you do, of course you do.
Ilsa: We had nothing on him, the only way to get it out of him...
Casey: By screwing it out of him? How, um... French.
Chuck: [knocks down a FULCRUM agent while tied to Casey's back] How do ya like me now suckah!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]

Morgan: This is just getting a little personal.
Casey: Okay, new tactic. You finish the story or I put your head through the wall.
Morgan: Someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.
Lizzie: You're no hot dog maker!
Sarah: Bring it on, pita girl!
Awesome: Where's the ring, Chuck? This is not awesome!
Casey: [to Lester and Jeff] We could do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is I shove his foot up your ass.
Jeff: What's the hard way?
Casey: I use my foot!
Chuck: Look, what if I surrender and you run. I mean I'm going into a cell anyway. What's the difference?
Sarah: Torture.
Chuck: Okay, no surrender.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]

Casey: [Colt is dangling Chuck out a window] Let the geek go!
Sarah: Wait! Not out the window.
Casey: Aren't we picky?
Ellie: What about you, any revolutions, any ideas on what you're going to do next?
Chuck: Um, yeah, a few.
Ellie: If you say pilot the Millenium Falcon I will hit you.
Chuck: I what, that's absord, why would I say that? I'm going to be a ninja assassin.
Ellie: Nope, try again.
Chuck: Uh, Olympic
Ellie: Uh, uh
Chuck: Secret agent
Ellie: This is what happens when you sit in front of the television set for too long
Chuck: You want to go on a date with me some time? I mean a date without aliases, and spy gear, and no mission.
Sarah: Like a real date?
Chuck: Yeah.
Sarah: Chuck, I'm still a CIA agent. And there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.
Chuck: What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one night of fun with me.
Sarah: ...Okay.
Chuck: What exactly are you doing?
Colt: I'm stretching. Getting limber.
Chuck: Why are you doing that?
Colt: So I won't pull a muscle when I break your neck. Maybe you should get limber too.
Sarah: What about me?
Chuck: [chuckles] You're really going to make me say it.
[Sarah smiles]
Chuck: Wow, okay. Fine. All right we'll play it your way... A girl like you, or more appropriately, a woman like you. Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint. And a smart one too. Not to mention, cool... and extremely beautiful. And-and... you can stop me any time with the compliments if they're becoming... you know—
Sarah: No that's very... sweet.
Chuck: "Sweet?" Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm 8.
Sarah: [slight chuckle] You're not so bad yourself.
Chuck: [sarcastically] Please, I'm fantastic.
Sarah: [seriously] Yeah. You are!
[Casey catches Chuck's hand after Colt drops him off of a building and swings him to safety]
Chuck: You...You...
Casey: Yeah, I know, I catch you when you fall. It's touching, really.
Chuck: No no, I love you!
Casey: Keep it in your pants, Bartowski.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]

Roan: Is she worth dying for?
Chuck: Yes.
Roan: The first rule of being a spy: never fall in love.
Chuck: Well then I guess I'm not much of a spy.
Roan: Because I'm not in love with one of the agents.
Chuck: I'm not... I care about them. I care about both of them. Besides we both heard what she said, okay? To her, I'm just an asset.
Roan: No. You're not... Trust me. The lady doth protest too much.
Roan: [preparing Chuck to seduce an enemy agent] We need to talk about protection.
Chuck: I really don't think it's going to get that far.
Roan: I mean a gun. Do you know why she's called the "black widow?"
Chuck: Because she's African-American, and her husband died?
Sarah: Okay, look, the sooner we get the Cipher back and the sooner you can have the Intersect removed, and the sooner you can be free to live whatever life you choose with whomever you choose.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Sarah: I'm saying you can have everything that you've always wanted.
Chuck: Let me see the file.
Chuck: Well it may not be the steamiest, but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles.
Sarah: Doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right?
Chuck: Good point.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]

Chuck: [about Bryce calling him a kid] Really? A kid? We were born in the same year!
Chuck: Buddy, what've I told you about direct confrontation with the Mighty Jocks, especially Mitt?
Morgan: Run with my tail between my legs and go get John Casey.
Chuck: Look, we both know how I feel about you so I'm just going to shoot straight. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're smart, beautiful, you laugh at all my stupid jokes and have a horrible habit of always saving my life. The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more. And the last few days all I could think about is our future together. About what it's going to be like once I get the Intersect out of my head and we can be together for real, no fake relationship, no covers, no lies. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that you and I can never have a future together. I fooled myself into thinking that we could but the truth is we can't. Because even if we had a real relationship it'd never really be real. I still won't know anything about you, your real name, your home town, your first love, anything. And I want more than that. I want to be able to call you at the end of a bad day and tell you about some funny thing Morgan did but I can't cause you'll be somewhere in Paraguay quelling a revolution with a fork. I'm a normal guy who wants a normal life. And as amazing as you are, Sarah Walker, we both know that you will never be normal.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]

Chuck: [watching Les' sales policy in action] This is going to end badly.
Morgan: I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.
Sarah: Back off, Chuck! You have as much information as is pertinent for the assignment!
Chuck: So "Jenni" with an "I" or would that be—
[Sarah takes the pencil Chuck's holding]
Sarah: All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past!
[Throws the pencil at a picture of Chuck and Sarah, embedding it in Chuck's picture]
Sarah: You got that?
Chuck I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.
Casey: [to Chuck after Sarah spills wine on Chuck's pants] Not the first American tax dollars wasted on a man's lap.
Sarah: Go check on Chuck.
Casey: As long as you promise not to filet her [Heather] before I get back.
Sarah: I can't promise anything.
Sarah: Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.
Chuck: ...No thanks... I don't need to know more about who you were. 'Cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are: a girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with... Should I get a knife? I'll get a knife.
Sarah: That won't be necessary.
[Sarah rolls up one of pants legs, pulls out a knife and gives it to Chuck]
Chuck: That's awesome! And a little disturbing.

[edit] Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]

Chuck: The creator of Missile Command commands actual missiles?
Chuck: Sis? The world's not gonna end today. [Ellie walks out of earshot] I have very reliable sources.
Chuck: Oh, by the way, I need to borrow your girlfriend.
Morgan: She's all yours.
Chuck: Morgan! Hey, ah, buddy, do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?
Morgan: No need. I got them all in my Zune.
Chuck: You have a Zune?
Morgan: Are you kidding me? No, no. I'll grab my iPod.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]

Man: Is there a problem?
Chuck : Can you tell me if the attractive, brown eyed, slightly egg headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still here?!
Man: She's here; why, who is she?
Chuck: Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart. I need a diversion; would it be terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?
Chuck: When you say "reconnect" you mean send her an email or invite her to be my Facebook friend, right?
Chuck: I'm sorry, a date with my ex? No, General, that is a terrible idea. You see she broke my heart; she destroyed me; she took all of my confidence, my mojo!
Casey: You had mojo?
Chuck: I was on my way, and by the way she slept with Bryce Larkin.
Casey: Huh. Who hasn't? [looks at Sarah]
Sarah: Look, Chuck. I know Jill hurt you. But maybe seing her will give you the closure that you've always wanted.
Chuck: Sticky clutch. [nervous laugh] Remind me to have my assistant have that fixed.
Jill: I think the valet is up a little further.
Chuck: Beautiful night for walk, huh? Shall we?
Casey: Please... let me die with dignity!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]

Chuck: Wait. So not only did we not get the FULCRUM list, but Jill's never going to speak to me again because she caught me naked rinsing off fruit punch on another woman.
Casey: Common spy problem.
Chuck: Really?
Chuck: [stops making out with Jill because of the surveillance] Buy More, tomorrow.
Jill: What time?
Chuck: Take the latent heat of aquatic fusion...
Jill: In calories per gram?
Chuck: Of course. [seductive voice] And then subtract the atomic number of thallium, got it? [Jill nods] Ok, I'll see you then!
Casey: [growls] Nerd code!
Jill: Thank you for saving my life. Sorry for not trusting you with Chuck.
Sarah: You want to pay me back? Don't hurt him again.
Jill: I won't. I wouldn't. I care about Chuck.
Sarah: Me, too. It's my job to protect him... from anything.
Sarah: [Chuck's stuck in the airvent] What are you doing up there?
Chuck: Help! [Falls to the floor]
Casey: Shh. It's the F.B.I, they're dumb, not deaf.
Chuck: Thanks.
Casey: Does the word "silent" have a different meaning in geek that I'm not aware of?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]

Chuck: You should know I wanted to help you. I was going to let you get away. But you were about to kill Sarah and that made the decision for me. You're under arrest, Jill. And I'm breaking up with you.
Chuck: [to Ellie] And I realize that Jill, Standford and Bryce, that's a story from my past... But my new story is you, Sarah, and these yahoos. And sometimes it can be a real fun story.
Chuck: [Text message to Sarah and Casey] I also unlocked your door. Taking them to Buy More. Unleash the Casey.
Chuck: I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.
Sarah: Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.
Chuck: I'm glad I have you.
Sarah: Yeah, we're better as a team.
Chuck: Excuse me. I'm sorry, General. But who in my life isn't a spy? My sister? My best friend? Should I just start asking people when I first meet them, "Hi I'd like the extra value meal, and while we're on the topic, do you covertly work for a government faction?"

[edit] Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]

Casey: Beckman was out of line pulling me off this mission.
Sarah: I agree with her. You're too emotionally involved.
Casey: This from the agent that can't keep her chocolate out of Bartowski's peanut butter.
Sarah: Whatever my feelings may be for Chuck I never knowingly endangered the asset. You let your anger towards Bennett cloud your judgment.
Casey: Finally you admit that you do have feelings for the nerd.
Sarah: No, all I will admit to is having feelings.
Casey: Sure thing, Chuck. I'll just call all the criminals and rogue spies and let them know to hold on a second because Chuck Bartowski needs to sort out his lady feelings.
Casey: [to Chuck] If my primary objective wasn't to protect you, I'd kill you.
Chuck: Look. Look, I get how you're feeling man. I totally get how you're feeling. You're feeling betrayed by someone you really care about.
Casey: You're damaging my calm, Chuck.
Chuck: You've spent so much of your life pushing people away. Lashing out with hurtful words and punches. But I know why you do it. You do it because you're scared.
Casey: WHAT?
Chuck: Scared. Scared to be known. Scared that if we actually see who you are, we'd actually care about you.
Casey: Shut up, Chuck!
Sarah: Yeah, shut up, Chuck. You're making him mad.
Chuck: [shushes Sarah] Underneath that extremely terrifying exterior lies a man who deeply, deeply feels. You care. You care about us. You care about me. Admit you feel all warm and mushy about me. Go ahead, say it; you love me, John Casey.
Casey: I'm going to kill you!
[Lunges for Chuck]
Chuck: Wait. Wait! Hold on. No! Not me.
[points to Bennett]
Chuck: Him!
Chuck: [mimicking Casey's voice] Well thanks for saving my life today, Chuck.
Chuck: Any time, Casey. Yeah, you know what you're my friend.
Chuck: [mimicking Casey's voice] Yeah you're my friend too.
Chuck: That's really kind of you, Casey. Have a good night.
Casey: [seriously] Thank you. [closes door]

[edit] Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]

Chuck: The guy is a total loser, all right? Absolute bottom feeding scum of the Earth. Have I mentioned considerably older man!
Jack: [from behind] All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Sarah: Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Chuck: [Chuck clears his throat] Pleasure, sir.
Sarah: [about her father] Chuck, you're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
Chuck: Well, he must've done something right: you turned out pretty good.
Sarah: Why did you put the money in Chuck's account?
Jack: I needed to put it somewhere because I didn't trust Cop Face.
Sarah: But you trusted Chuck.
Jack: I read people. That's the only real talent I've got. One thing I know is that that kid would never betray you. I made a $10 million bet that he loved you... Turns out I was right.
Captain Awesome: I lent him that money so he could get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car!
Anna: WHAT? That money was for our apartment?! I'm gonna kill him!
Captain Awesome: Get in line, Anna!
Captain Awesome: [to Morgan] You have exactly one day to get my money back to me or I pluck you from head to toe.
Anna: Start with the groin. He won't be using that region for a while.

[edit] Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]

Casey: [his toe has just been shot] I survived three wars without losing so much as a finger nail before I met you, Bartowski!
Chuck : But it's, it's Christmas. Look I'm not buying the whole Scrooge act. Underneath that spy cover is a regular person, just like the rest of us. I mean honestly, how weird could Christmas have been for you?
Sarah: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con job.
Chuck: Okay, you're a little different than the rest of us.
Chuck: Actually, um... I have something for you. I was gonna give it to you tomorrow, but considering the circumstances I kind of want to give it to you today.
Sarah: Chuck, we're gonna get out of here. We'll be fine, I—
[Chuck pulls out a bracelet]
Sarah: —promise. Wow. It's beautiful.
Chuck: It's good luck. It was my mom's charm bracelet. My dad gave it to her when Ellie was born.
[Chuck puts it on Sarah's wrist]
Sarah: Oh Chuck, I can't take this. This is something real. Something you should give to a real girlfriend.
Chuck: ...I know.
Mauser: You may have beat me, Agent Walker. But FULCRUM's won. I know that Chuck Bartowski's the Intersect.
Sarah: Chuck's secret is safe! And you're going straight to a CIA detention facility never to be seen or heard from again!
Mauser: You go right ahead, Agent Walker. Arrest me. But say "Good-bye" to Chuck. You see I'm not like those other FULCRUM agents. They'll do whatever it takes to find me. And when they do, every FULCRUM agent we have will know Chuck's the Intersect. It's going to be the end of his pathetic existence. So take me in, Agent Walker.
[Pause. Sarah lowers her weapon. Long pause. Sarah shoots Mauser]
Ned: [talking about Casey] Hey, hey, I uh, feel terrible about shooting your friend's toe off.
Chuck: No, no, no, that's okay. Sometimes I feel like shooting him myself.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]

Chuck: I watched you kill that FULCRUM agent in cold blood, Sarah. I am, I am not like you. Okay? I might have all these government secrets in my brain, but that does not make me a real spy. I, I need to tell you this in reality, not in my dream.
Sarah: Chuck... this isn't a dream.
Chuck: What is it?
Sarah: It's a nightmare!
Chuck: How much tranquilizer did you use?
Casey: It's high grade at a heavy dose. Mr. Martin should be out for 12 to 24 hours.
Tyler Martin: [Starts to wake up] Jet lag is brutal.
Chuck: Rock star metabolism.
Sarah: Well you don't have plans, do you?
Chuck: Would it be so crazy if I did have plans? Plans that involved something other than fixing computers or playing hot potatoes with a thermite grenade?
Casey: Yes.
Sarah: You know Casey's right. You could've gotten yourself killed. What exactly were you thinking?
Chuck: What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking like I wasn't a spy. I was trying to have a little bit of fun. And I knew the second I called you two, it would all be over!
Sarah: But you are a spy. And you should know better than to put yourself in a dangerous situation where I can't protect you!
Chuck: Is it really so wrong for me to want a night off? I was having a really good time until the assassins stole my pants and tried to kill me. I've earned it. I deserve it.
[Casey shoots him with a tranquilizer dart]
Chuck: I'm losing consciousness.
[Chuck falls to floor unconscious]
Sarah: CASEY!
Casey: My ears couldn't take it. Either that or I shoot him.
Chuck: He had threatened my family, my friends, and you were just doing your job. I get that but... Sarah, the guy was unarmed. And, and you just...
Sarah: I did what I had to do. He knew who you really were. Your whole family was in danger. And I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget you never asked for all of this.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]

Sylvia: Mr. Carmichael, I didn't expect you to come so quickly.
Chuck: Charles Carmichael always comes quickly.
[awkward pause]
Casey: [over watch-phone] Smooth, Bartowski.
Morgan: Gentlemen, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the only reason I took this job at the Buy More was to do as little work as humanly possible.
[Jeff and Les nod]
Morgan: The big man has made that dream a reality.
Lester: The man's an inspiration to slackers everywhere.
Jeff: Until his old lady dumped him.
Morgan: We're screwed! I mean screwed now that he has nothing to live for except work.
Chuck: Well, gotta run. You know how it is... the old ball and chain.
Sylvia: Listen Charles, I just live right across the street. So... call me, when the honeymoon's over. I've got a chain too.
Chuck: Casey, I'm handcuffed.
Casey: Relax, handcuffs are a cinch.
Chuck: Really?
Casey: Yeah, there's a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Real easy to break. What you're gonna wanna do is apply torsional pressure until it snaps.
Chuck: I'm not going to break my bone!
Casey: Well in that case, you are screwed!
Ellie: Well, what happened? What went wrong?
Chuck: I guess something that's been wrong from the start. You know?
Ellie: Are... you guys aren't breaking up, are you?
Chuck: No, no, no, no, no. Trust me. Sarah's not going anywhere.
Ellie: Chuck, I guess I, I don't—I don't know what you're saying exactly.
Chuck: Look El, I know how much you love Sarah. And I know how much you love the idea of us, and us moving forward with you and Devon, but we're not anything like you guys.
Ellie: But you guys seem so perfect.
Chuck: Yeah, I know. I guess, but being in that house with her, it was so close to being perfect. The way I had pictured it would be. Then I realized what was wrong with that picture... And it was us. Sarah and I are never going to be anything more than we are now. But you know what? I'm okay with that.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]

Jeff: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?
Chuck: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%. But look, buddy, I know you're going through a tough time, but I don't feel comfortable stalking another human being.
Morgan: Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.
Chuck: Which is stalking.
Lester: What was that about?
Chuck: I'm helping Ellie and Awesome find a band for their wedding.
Lester: Then this, sir, is your lucky day.
Jeff: We'll handle it from here.
Chuck: You're going to help me find a band?
Lester: No, you misunderstand. You found your band. It is WE. [points to himself and Jeff] We'll play your sister's big day.
Chuck: Wait— Wait a minute, you guys have a band?
Jeff: Jeff...
Lester: ...Lester...
Jeff and Lester: JEFFSTER!!
Chuck: That seems very fitting.
Jeff: Originally, we were going to go with the name "Jester," but we didn't want people to associate us with a couple of fools.
Chuck: Obviously not.
Chuck: I can't betray my best friend. How come nobody gets that?
Casey: Hmm. Semper Fidelis. Means always faithful in the Marines. In civilian life, means putting your friend's well being above your own. I salute you for that, Bartowski. Well done.
[Casey gives Chuck a small salute]
Chuck: Yeah, that's— Thanks, Casey. Yeah. Semper Fi. You know it's a pretty upside down world when this guy's the one picking up the emotional nuances around here.
[Casey winks at Sarah]
Sarah: No, I get it; he's your best friend.
Chuck: You know you say that, but I don't think you have a clue what it means. Sarah, I don't have parents. I don't really talk about it because that's the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day my mom took off. He didn't say much. Because honestly what's a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's— that's a whole other story. But Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family! Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family!
Sarah Walker: ...Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan, losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours, Chuck.
Sarah: I wanted to apologize. I could have been more sensitive before about your friendship with Morgan. It's just— it's difficult. I don't really have anyone in my life like that who cares about me.
Chuck: Yeah, you do.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]

Chuck: Ooh! Ugh! Oh my God! This is unbearable! My back is killing me, my wrists are chafing!
Cole: This is going to get ugly. What level is his pain tolorance?
Sarah: I'd say about 1 out of 10.
Chuck: What? A one? I'd say I'm at least an 8.
Sarah: Chuck, the torture hasn't even started yet.
Chuck: This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay, put me down for a 1.
Chuck: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...
Ellie: [Ellie gasps] Yes!
Chuck: And moving in with Morgan.
Ellie: NO!
Morgan: Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever ever break up with Sarah?
Captain Awesome: Ask Ellie, it was her idea.
Morgan: Really?
Ellie: What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.
Morgan: [Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one!
Ellie: How do you know?
Morgan: How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right? The Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.
Captain Awesome: Whoa!
Morgan: Evening.
Captain Awesome: Talk about low hanging fruit!
Ellie: Oh my God! I'm going to kill Chuck!
Morgan: Didn't Chuck tell you I sleep in the, in the buff?
Sarah: Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24-hour protective detail until further notice.
Chuck: What exactly does that mean?
Sarah: It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.
[Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan]
Sarah: Well, Ellie's watching; we'd better sell it.
[They hug]
Chuck: Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.
Sarah: Chuck, everyone talks.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]

Sarah: We work for the government, Dr. Busgang.
Perseus: So do I. Tell them, Duncan. We work for the CIA.
Casey: No. The men you work for are terrorists.
[Casey gets slammed against the wall by two agents]
Casey: Hey!
Duncan: Terrorist? We're patriots. Howard, you're a patriot.
Casey: You're spies who've turn your back on your country!
Duncan: You couldn't have it more wrong. Who do you think we are? We do what needs to be done to preserve our nations rightful place in the world. Someday you'll thank us. Well, not you, you'll be dead.
Beckman: Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I am told you showed great courage.
Barker: Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured.
Casey: He got clipped by a windowsill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.
Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.
Morgan: I want to make sure that she [Anna] loves me for me and not... other things.
Chuck: Are you crazy? What other things could she possibly be loving you for? I mean listen, buddy, you know that I love you, but you're lucky to have a girl in your life who loves you for you, even though you are in fact you. If you don't stop testing her, she's gonna choose to be with someone else. And then you will have realized, and unfortunately too late, that you lost the catch of a lifetime.
Lester: Counter point. She's not the catch of a lifetime. She's a scheming tart who will harvest your organs and sell them to the highest bidder.
Chuck: Sarah, I'm not going to move in with you... Because I can't... And you know why I can't... I'm crazy about you. And I always have been. Having a fake relationship, that's one thing. But living together is... I mean everyday and being around each other and —and that's why I can't do it. I hope you understand.
Sarah: I do.
Chuck: Thank you.
[Starts to leave then stops]
Chuck: Oh and, uh, just so you know, I am going to get this thing out of my head, one day. I will! And when I do, I'm going to live the life I want with the girl I love. Because I'm not going to let this thing rob me of that. I won't!!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]

Barkley: We're the flagship store, we should get those computers—
Big Mike: Flagship of my ass; now get out of here, Barkley.
Vincent: You have one chance. Drop your guns.
Chuck: Uh, sir. They don't have any guns. I personally put this mission together, and I forbade them from packing.
Vincent: Why would you do that?
Chuck: I don't know. I just, you know— I think guns make things too easy. I like my spies to be tough. Look, you're not going to shoot anyone, right?
Vincent: It would be unprofessional not to.
Chuck: Why are you coming here?
General Beckman: Hopefully I won't have to shut down Operation Bartowski because of one foolish mistake. But if FULCRUM knows who you really are, pack your bags, Chuck; you're leaving with me. Tell your family and friends—tell them nothing!
Sarah: Chuck Bartowski has risked his life for this country. But he's not a spy and he knows it!
General Beckman: He's a spy until I say he isn't!
Sarah: General, Chuck knows that Orion is out there and he is not going to sit in his room and do what we say. He...
Casey: What is it?
Sarah: Where's Chuck?
Casey: [Casey checks the tracking device] Watch has him in his room.
Sarah: No. This is Chuck we're talking about. He would've come up with some excuse to come in here and meet the General in person.
General Beckman: What?
Sarah: Check his room.
Casey: Walker's right. Chuck's a social butterfly by nature.
Chuck: General, you don't want the Intersect out of my head, do you?
General Beckman: No, I don't.
Sarah: General, Chuck has done everything that we've asked of him.
General Beckman: Agent Walker, you want to protect him, but play time is over! Chuck, I hesitate to say this...
Chuck: Please, please hesitate.
General Beckman: We are in the midst of a secret war with FULCRUM. And I believe the outcome of this fight will rest squarely on your shoulders.
Casey: Oy.
Chuck: No. Listen to the man, he's right! I'm not a spy!
General Beckman: Do you know how many agents I've lost to FULCRUM? How powerful they are? Only this operation, only you have found a hole in their armor. See, I can't lose you, Chuck. I need you! It's time for you to become a spy!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]

Sarah: [Holding up Chuck's cellphone] I found this when I went to say goodbye to Chuck.
Alex: Which directly disobeyed an order. You were fired for exactly this reason!
Sarah: Then there's nothing stopping me from kicking your ass!
Zamir: Are you his doctor?
Chuck: Of course. Am I not wearing a doctor's coat? Who else would I be if not one of this man's doctors?
Zamir: Doctor, I am Harry Lime's private physician, Dr. Muhammad Zamir.
[they shake hands]
Chuck: Doctor.
Zamir: Doctor.
Chuck: Doctor.
Zamir: Doctor.
Chuck: And, doctor.
Zamir: Nurse, would you excuse us for a moment, please? I would like to consult the doctor privately, please.
Chuck: Yes, yes, we will be discussing doctor things that only doctors understand, please go. [whispers to Alex] Please don't go.
Alex: I'll be right outside... doctor.
Chuck: Oh my God, I'm bleeding. Oh my God I'm bleeding, oh my God I'm bleeding.
Zamir: Come on.
Chuck: I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding. I'm sorry, I get a little woozy at the sight of blood.
Zamir: A surgeon is afraid of blood?
Chuck: I know, a little ironic, right?
Casey: Hey. Chuck, turn off the gas you idiot. You inhale too much of that stuff it'll kill you.
Chuck: We're gonna die.
[Chuck and Zamir laugh]
Chuck: We're gonna die.
Alex: [Grabbing the walkie talkie] Open this door right now!
Chuck: No. Look, I'm not listening to you. Okay?
Alex: This isn't working. I can't risk this going any further. I'm getting the nitro.
[Starts to leave]
Sarah: Forrest! We can do this your way or we can actually save the asset!
General Beckman: Agent Walker, despite your heroism, you have directly disobeyed several orders...
Chuck: Wait, General, um, I'm sorry but, but isn't the most important part of being my handler making sure I stay alive?
Sarah: It's okay, Chuck.
Casey: No, it's not.
[Everyone looks at Casey]
Casey: Let him finish.
Chuck: Thanks... Um, General. What I'm trying to say is that because my relationship with Sarah is so... you know, we're, we're close. We care about each other. That's— that's what I'm trying to say. And— and I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]

Chuck: [to Sarah and Casey dressed as nerds] Either this is a mission or you two are very good at hiding your hobbies.
Sarah: Where's Chuck?
Casey: In a world of pain.
Chuck: I can't believe this. My father invented the intersect.
Stephen: Well, that's not true. I didn't invent all of it. Just the really cool stuff. All right, now I can understand how this could complicate a few things.
Chuck: What? Complicate a few things; Dad, I saw you die. I saw you explode in a helicopter.
Stephen: Well, I see how I could have given you that impression. I had to die quite a few times—it's one of the perils of being Orion.
Stephen: What you are gonna see are a bunch of encoded images that will cancel out the ones you originally uploaded.
Chuck: Wait. Are you saying that you are gonna overwrite my brain?
Stephen: That's a good way of putting it. Yes.
Roark: Put him on the helicopter. Kill his CIA agent.
Stephen: He's my son.
Roark: He's your son? Congratulations! That's great! I had no idea. ...Kill his son.
Stephen: I'll build anything you want, give FULCRUM their intersect. But my son walks away from here.
Vincent: You'll build it either way.
Stephen: You going to torture me? After 10 years away from my family, my son walks away!
Roark: Right, right. I'm not a monster. ...Maybe a little bit of a monster. Today's his lucky day. Shotgun on the chopper. Let's go.

[edit] Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]

Bernie: Are you wired?
Chuck: No I'm not.
Bernie: [aims his gun at Chuck's face] Are you wired?
Chuck: Yes, yes we are.
. . .
Bergey: Are you wearing a wire?
Chuck: That's preposterous.
Bergey: [his thugs aim their weapons at Chuck] Are you wearing a wire?
Chuck: Yes, yes I am.
Wally Roberts: [to Sarah and Casey] And you are?
Sarah: I'm, uh, Chuck's cousin, Sarah. And this is my boyfriend John.
Wally Roberts: Talk about beauty and the beast, huh? You must be loaded.
[Casey feigns a laugh]
Casey: Permission to drop the twerp into a deep dark hole, General?
General Beckman: Granted.
Casey: Huh?
General Beckman: It's over, the Human Intersect Project has become too hard to control. I can't afford to wonder anymore if the team or Chuck Bartowski is a liability.
Sarah: What are you saying, General?
General Beckman: I'm shutting down this project! Chuck's going into lockdown. He'll be taken to Washington, and put into a secure facility once-and-for-all!
Casey: Operation Moron is over?
Chuck: I owe you an apology.
Sarah: For what?
Chuck: I was beginning to think that I couldn't trust you anymore, Sarah. That maybe Jill was right. That the CIA was never gonna let me go, that they would always put their best interests ahead of mine... But not you. You always looked out for me. Thank you.
Sarah: [pause. Sarah hugs Chuck and whispers in his ear] Take off your watch.
Chuck: Why?
Sarah: Because it's all a lie. Your dad is still out there. Beckman sent me to bring you back to Castle. They're going to take you underground. We have to run.
Chuck: [Sarah has just taken him on the run] You're disobeying orders for me? You're committing treason, Sarah; you could go to jail.
Sarah: I know.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]

Captain Awesome: You're a spy, Chuck? That's... awesome!
Chuck: Do I get a gun?
Sarah: Nope. You get to stay in the car.
Chuck: C'mon, the whole "stay in the car" thing, aren't we past this? I think I'm perfectly capable of handling myself on a mission.
Casey: [holds Chuck at gun point] You were saying, Agent Imbecile? Drop it, Walker.
Sarah: You drop it.
Chuck: Sarah, don't! I've come this far; if he's gonna stop me he's gonna have to kill me.
Casey: Beckman called in an air strike. It'll be here in less than 20 minutes.
Chuck: What!? Casey, my father is here! You said you would rescue him; you gave me your word. I thought that would've meant something. I guess I have a lot to learn.
Casey: Yeah, that's right you do. You made three crucial mistakes, Bartowski: you didn't realize you we're being trailed for the last half hour, you didn't bring nearly enough fire power, and you didn't ask me to join.
Chuck: Casey, would you like to help us rescue my father?
Casey: I think your father has served our country honorably and deserves to attend his daughter's wedding.
Sarah: Is that a "yes"?
Casey: One condition, he stays in the car.
Sarah: Agreed.
Chuck: Done. Hey the team's back together again! Group hug!
Casey: One more step it'll be your last. No hugs!
Chuck: In the car I go.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]

Chuck: See? Guys can hug.
Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts.
Chuck: That's a good point.
General Beckman: How would you feel about working on the new Intersect project? Your government has been building its own Intersect. You've shown real promise. We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck: Uh, well then I think my country might have the wrong number. 'Cause I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.
Chuck: I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait any longer. Okay? Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do with my future. And the truth is I don't have a clue. All I do know is that I want you to be in it.
Sarah: Please, I really have to tell you.
Chuck: No. No guns. No lies. Just us. Just like I've always wanted. I've recently come into a little bit of money. So, any place you want to go. Any place at all, as long as it's sunny with little umbrella drinks. What I'm getting at here is... Sarah Walker will you do me the honor of... taking a vacation with me?
Sarah: Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning. The details are classified. But I'm working on the new Intersect Project with Bryce.
Bryce: The cube can't fall into the wrong hands. I made a promise to Orion.
Chuck: You knew?
Bryce: That was the deal. Your dad knew I protected you at Stanford. I was the only spy he would trust.
Chuck: I can't believe you've known all this the whole time.
Bryce: He wanted to keep you out of this. But I knew you could handle the Intersect. I knew Sarah would find you. Most importantly, you deserved to know the truth about your father. He's a hero... Let's go get your sister married.
Chuck: [after Sarah leaves] I have to go.
Steve: No. No. You don't, you're not a spy.
Chuck: Dad... I love her!

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]

Awesome: Still playing the loser cover? You're nailing it.
Chuck: It's not a cover, Devon, it's my life.
Awesome: [in disbelief] So this is really you?
Chuck: Maybe we should be introduced, I'm Chuck Bartowski: total loser, cheeseball addict.
Chuck: If I help you guys then maybe Beckman puts the old team back together.
Casey: And all my dreams come true.
Sarah: Ever since you went to Prague I've worked with the best spies in the world and you know what?
Chuck: They're on their way here to save us?
Sarah: None of them can do what you can do. You're a spy and you can save us.
Beckman: Sarah, I need you to keep Chuck's emotions in check so the Intersect can work. He listens to you. But he's also an unstable element.
Sarah: Do you think he's dangerous?
Beckman: Very. But he's worth the risk. For two years, we've protected Chuck from the world. But now we have to protect the world from Chuck.
Ellie: This isn't about you, Chuck. This is about us. We need a place for two. And you can get a roommate, you know. You have plenty of friends.
Morgan: I'm so happy right now!
Ellie: Other friends, Chuck. Other friends.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]

Morgan: Our lives are incredible.
Chuck: Yeah, incredibly average to sub-par.
Carina: And Casey will pose as my father.
Casey: Check your math, sister. I'll play your brother.
Carina: That's a bit of a stretch, Colonel.
Chuck: Yeah, Casey. Uh, I think you have dungarees that are older than Carina.
Morgan: [to Carina] Just because you're a beautiful woman that I would give up a non-vital organ to make love to doesn't give you the right to show up with this clown and humiliate me in front of my friends.
Chuck: There's gotta be a contingency plan if enemy agents infiltrate my house. Like a button you push that calls that cavalry so they can swoop in and get everyone out. Where's the button?
Casey: Me. I'm the button.
Morgan: Carina is not just some girl. She's basically a Swedish supermodel. The country's greatest export since Björn Borg.
Jeff: People mistake him for me all the time.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]

Awesome: Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.
Chuck: Maybe you shouldn't be sneaking into my room at night.
Chuck: I had a CIA mission.
Awesome: What exactly does that mean?
Chuck: Well you know, same old same old. Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party. Another bad guy is trying to sell him a weapon. Bust both bad guys. Diffuse a bomb. Blah blah blah.
Casey: But haven't you personally given me the order to kill that commie crackpot on three separate occasions?
Beckman: And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.
Sarah: Thought you said you had a perfect record.
Chuck: Wow. This is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.
Awesome: So you come up with a plan yet?
Chuck: Oh yeah. Yeah, the plan is: Sarah and I are going to sneak out of here, and save Casey. While you stay here and save the Premiere. We just gotta take care of those two guards there.
Awesome: Those two soldiers with machine guns. You and what army?
Chuck: Uh, that would be Sarah, and her fists.
Casey: You stole my blood.

[edit] Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]

Casey: Chuck, stop freaking out.
Chuck: Oh I'm not freaking out. And I'll tell you why I'm not freaking out, because that would require me overreacting and I don't think it's technically possible to overreact to my brother-in-law being kidnapped!
Awesome: Geez, this guy's heavy.
Chuck: Well bad guys don't count carbs, buddy.
Awesome: You're incredible; is that your spy training?
Chuck: Duck Hunt, Nintendo.
Morgan: [to Big Mike] Well, it's just a little unusual that you call me before I even had time to screw anything up.
Big Mike: Mornings are for reflection and pastry.

[edit] Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]

Lester: [under the effects of brainwashing] Morgan Grimes is the kindest, warmest, most understanding human being I've ever known in my life.
Chuck: Listen, I'm an integral member of this team and my voice should be heard.
Casey: Oh, your pre-pubescent girl screams are going to be duly noted.
Shaw: Is Chuck Bartowski a real spy?
Sarah: Yes, of course he is. I mean his training has been irregular and he was a civilian only two years ago.
Shaw: These mission reports tell another story. Sometimes he sounds like Bond, other times it's like a Jerry Lewis movie.
Jeff: [Casey's smoking a cigar] This is a no smoking store.
Morgan: Thanks Jeff. You know what, my lieutenant has the right to smoke a cigar if he wants. Or he can put it out. Mr. Casey.
[Casey puts out the cigar in his hand]
Morgan: Anyone else want to leave?
Chuck: [the flight attendant pulls a weapon on Chuck] I am so writing a letter to the airline about this.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]

Morgan: Anything you want to tell me about?
Chuck: No. Anything you want to ask me about?
Morgan: No.
Chuck: Okay, good talk!
Morgan: One of our best!
Casey: Yogurt time, let's go.
Chuck: Most important meal of the day.
Jeff: It's my constitutional right to fornicate!
Chuck: What's in Dubai?
Casey: Weap-Con, the greatest weapons convention. I go every year. I find it very relaxing. It looks like this year I'll be able to write it off as a business trip.
Casey: Credit card charges show mostly video games, comic books. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last six months: his sister.
Chuck: I feel so sorry for this guy, he seems so alone.
Casey: Oh, whoops. That's your old file, Bartowski.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]

Chuck: If I have to see you with someone else, it might as well be a hero.
Sarah: What can I say? I have a type.
Sarah: Chuck, you're not going to have us forever. The Intersect was designed so agents could work autonomously.
Shaw: We're your training wheels and your performance tells me it's about time for us to come off.
Casey: I hope you're ready for your big boy bike, Bartowski.
Hannah: [about Sarah and Shaw] Any idea what she's doing here, other than trying to make you jealous with that ridiculously good looking date of hers?
Chuck: Him? Ridiculously good looking? If you like that strong, Supermany kind of guy.
Sarah: Keep your coffee and your cheesy come-ons to yourself.
Shaw: Then I should apologize to Casey.
Casey: Hey Shaw, thanks for the coffee. It's just the way I like it, black and bitter.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]

[Chuck has adopted an assassin's persona]
Casey: Not bad, Bartowski.
Chuck: Who the hell is "Bartowski"?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]

Chuck: Awesome knows and you didn't put him in witness protection.
Casey: Because Awesome's awesome and Grimes is a moron.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]

Casey: [to Chuck] I made my decision between love and love of country a long time ago, and it was the right decision for me. You have to make a decision whether it's the right one for you. Walker's a good woman. It's still not too late.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]

Chuck: [to Casey] We gotta get you reinstated, buddy. Without a license to kill you're a menace to society.

[edit] Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]

Chuck: I love you, Sarah Walker. Always have.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]

Chuck: She said she couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in her. I believed in her. I just didn't believe in me.
Morgan: Dude, you are misquoting the line! And you are ruining Pretty in Pink for me!
Sarah: I appreciated the tank.
Sarah: You're still Chuck... you're still my Chuck.
Chuck: But earlier on in my... drunken haze... I realized I hadn't asked you a question. A really important question that I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record... Sarah, do you love me?
[Long pause]
Chuck: Wow. I'm, uh, in my underwear. I'm sitting in my underwear holding a plastic guitar. There's a very good chance I'm making a complete fool of myself, isn't there?
Sarah: Yes.
Chuck: I should probably put some pants on.
Sarah: No, Chuck... Yes.
Chuck: What?... Uh, what?
Sarah: Chuck, I fell for you a long long time ago. After you fixed my phone, and before you started defusing bombs with viruses. So, yes. [chuckles] Yes.
Sarah: Shut up and kiss me.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]

Lester: Jeffrey, you blew the amp. Don't you know it's not the size of the instrument that matters, but how much and how long and how often your mother catches you playing?
Chuck: I can't hit a girl!
Sarah: I can!
Chuck: This is gonna be your favorite song. [plays "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone]

[edit] Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]

Mr. Turner: Oh God, it's us 30 years ago.
Chuck: Look, Sarah. It's us in 30 years!
Chuck: No guns, no flash. Honey, darling, you mind telling me what you've done with our small cashe of weapons?
Sarah: I got rid of them, sweetheart.
Chuck: You actually listened to me?
Sarah: I can't quite believe it myself!
Chuck: Where's the gun you had at the hotel?
Sarah: I left them in the car.
Chuck: Why would you do that?!
Sarah: Because you told me to!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]

Sarah: [begging to see Chuck] Please. I love him.
Dr. Dreyfus: Ever tell him that?
Chuck: [appearing more delusional by the moment] The truth is in the tooth!
Sarah: I love you. It shouldn't have taken me this long to say it but I've never felt this way. Before you the only future I could think about was my next mission. Now all I can think about is a future with you. I love you, Chuck.
Chuck: [relieved] I love you too.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]

Morgan: I talked to Captain Awesome.
Casey: And?
Morgan: If he'd have me I'd let him.
Chuck: Dad! Knife! Face! What if you were wrong?
Stephen: I'm never wrong.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]

Justin: Shaw, Bartowski's infiltrated the base.
Shaw: Of course he did. [to Sarah] Why would your boyfriend ever think with an organ besides his heart?
Justin: No, sir, not this base. Bartowski and his father found the other one, the Ring base. Triggered the silent alarm.
Shaw: Dammit!
Casey: I don't know when it happened but our boy became a man. Bartowski's a spy. You picked a good one, Walker. Finally.
Sarah: You wanted to see me. Sir.
Shaw: I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you you look great, Walker. Love suits you I guess.
Casey: [To his daughter] I'm your father!
Beckman: As much as it pains me to admit, you are our only hope. [gets dragged out]
Devon: [to Morgan] Did she mean you or me?
Ellie: Morgan Grimes, the boy who took my pillow as his date to the junior prom, knows more about my family being spies than I do.
[After Daniel Shaw and other Ring agents apprehend Chuck and his father Stephen, Shaw steals the Governor]
Chuck: I don't need a watch to beat you, Shaw. Come on, aren't you a little curious? I know I am. Don't you wanna know how your intersect stacks up against mine?
Shaw: You're right, Chuck. The fight will be incredible. We're totally equal now. Nothing separates us...Though, there's one thing that is different. You can't function when your emotions have been compromised.
Chuck: Don't worry about that. I've never been more calm.
Shaw: Really? How are you feeling now? [takes out his gun and fatally shoots Stephen]

[edit] Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]

Lester: [after Jeff picks up phone for no reason] The phone did not ring, Jeffrey.
Shaw: So what's happening?
Chuck: You're under arrest.
Shaw: No, what are you doing here? What's your plan?
Chuck: I'm sorry. Are you asking me to make the classic villain mistake of explaining my dastardly plot to you? You know what? I'd love to.
Big Mike: Sweet Lord, they did it. They actually did it. Those crazy nerds blew up the freaking Buy More!
Devon: What are we going to do? We don't have a plan!
Morgan: No plan? Never stopped me before.
Casey: [as Ellie and Chuck drive away] Hm. Two Bartowskis. Double the fun.

[edit] Season 4

[edit] Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.1]

Sarah: You ever been in a long distance relationship?
Casey: No. I either leave or they die.
Chuck: [over the radio] Look, clearly you have no idea who I am since you only sent ten of your men to take care of me. So let me break it down for you: if you touch a hair on Sarah's head, I will do to you what I've just done to your men. Do you understand? I'm coming down there now.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.2]

General Beckman: Colonel Casey, after the Yves St. Laurent incident, you will obviously have to sit this one out.
John Casey: [quietly to himself] Stab one guy with a stilleto...
Jeff: [Casey hits him with a tranq dart] I think my water just broke.
Sarah: You're my home, Chuck. You always have been.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.3]

Sarah: Chuck, unless you want Beckman to know that we're looking for your mom, we don't have the authority to interrogate Chandler.
Chuck: Well, we don't have the authority to use the supply closet for what it is we use it for, but we do it anyway, don't we?
Heather: Chuck seems like a really nice guy. And he's really in love. Are you?
Sarah: Goodbye, Heather.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.4]

Chuck: [Sarah's calling Casey] He did just get shot in the leg, and is resting up. So he probably won't be available.
Casey: Casey. What do you need?
Sarah: A little bored, Casey?
Casey: Dear God, give me something to do!
Sarah: Are you awake? Can you hear me, Chuck? I love you, Chuck. Nothing's ever going to change that. And if you asked me for real, my answer would be "yes."

[edit] Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.5]

Chuck: [Receving a call] They put his tracker on a what? ...No. God, no! Don't shoot it! [Ends the call. To Sarah] They took off his tracker and put it on a cat.
Casey: [Calling the Buy More] Casey. Code red. I've been drugged. Don't know how long I can stay conscious. Need extraction. In an alley. 4th and Hill. I'll be in a dumpster.
Jeff: Don't worry, Casey. I know that dumpster!
Casey: Wait! Who is this? Where's Chuck?
Jeff: We're on our way! [into the PA system] Lester! Nerd Herd emergency. Man down! Meet me at the Herder.
Casey: [to Morgan about Alex] You break her heart, I break your everything.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.6]

Sarah: What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Chuck: I just talked to one. That was my mom.
Chuck: [Mary is driving nearly 100 mph and aiming her gun at him] Mom? You hit one pot-hole and this ride gets very messy very quick.
Casey: Chuck, how'd you get here?
Chuck: My mom dropped me off.

[edit] Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.7]

Morgan: [to Sarah] We all know there is a heart of gold underneath this cold exterior... [he places his hand over her heart]
Sarah: Morgan, please don't touch my chest.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Fear of Death [4.8]

Rye: Well, I don't believe that the psychological rock can be hoisted off by watching kittens play with yarn. My method is - physical, psychological, painful, brutal.
Chuck: Brutal? Can't wait to get started.
Rye: Chuck, if you're serious about restoring the Intersect, then I promise you, at the end of this process, you will be a spy again. What do you say? You with me?
Chuck: Let's get physical.

[edit] Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.9]

Sarah: Feel like talking yet?
Chanarong: An American agent in a government facility would never use any of that. I'm not afraid.
Sarah: You're right. Normally I wouldn't threaten the subject with death by ammonia injection. Burning somebody from the inside out? Doesn't sound like something that's in the Geneva Convention does it? But this man I'm looking for? He loves me. He wants to marry me.
Chanarong: I see. It's amazing what a woman will do to find a husband. Even the toughest spies in the world are just racing against that biological clock. Tick, tick, tick, tock.
Sarah: You got me. I'm just a needy love crazed girl on a husbant hunt. [she jams the needle in Chanarong's neck] Who's trained in over 200 ways to kill you. Afraid yet?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]

Mary: [saving Chuck and Sarah from Volkoff's assassins] Come with me if you want to live.
Mary: Charles is my son.
Volkoff: [pointing a gun at Chuck's head] Really?
Mary: Really.
Volkoff: [to Sarah] Really?
Sarah: Really.
Volkoff: [to Chuck] Really?
Chuck: Really!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]

Chuck: Forget it buddy, can't really do anything with Casey being well, Casey.
Morgan: Chuck! bubuleh! Casey is your man-servant, let him man-serve you.
Morgan: Holy hell Sarah! You just scared me to death! I thought you could've been somebody deadly.
Sarah: I am somebody deadly.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]

Volkoff: It's basically a suicide mission.
Sarah: I love a good suicide mission.
Volkoff: Me too!
Chuck: Sarah! Sarah. look I know you have to go...
Sarah: [she kisses him deeply and passionately] I missed you too Chuck.
Chuck: Wow. It's kind of like I'm cheating on you with you right now.
Sarah: Goodbye. Call me on the secure line with the plan.
Chuck: Got it. See you in prison!
Chuck: (about his secret way of communicating with Sarah) Right now, she's telling me she loves me. Or she's buying a Buick...I can't really tell.
Morgan: I happen to be very good at the quick-look-at-your-phone-when-you-get-a-text-but-you-didn’t know-I-looked look.
Devon: (about Ellie's proposed name for their baby) Grunka?!
Chuck: I can't believe she's gonna name her Grunka.
Devon: Dude!
Chuck: Dude!
Devon: Dude.
Chuck: Dude!
Devon: We can't.
Chuck: You can't.
Devon: Grunka isn’t what you name your beautiful baby girl, it’s what you name...(referring to the other Buy More employees) these people."

[edit] Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]

Chuck: You know my dad... he taught me a lot of things. Like looks can be deceiving.
[Casey reveals to Armand that he faked his death by unplugging his heart monitor. Then he knocks out Armand with a bonsai]
Chuck: Fight for your family.
[Sarah ambushes Volkoff's gaurds and disables one with a throwing knife]
Sarah: Mary, quick! [They escape after a brief gun fight]
Chuck: And of course never use a gun— [Volkoff fires the pistol but it is empty] —unless you absolutely have to. I probably should have told you I have this thing about bullets. I was never going to kill you Alexi. But then I am my father's son, aren't I?
Nurse: [sees Chuck, Mary, Sarah, Morgan and Casey outside the delivery room] Are you family?
All: Yes.
Lester: This baby needs a performance, delivery room style. This baby needs...Jeffster!
Lester: Ew...pregnant women.
Jeff: Ooh...pregnant women.
Chuck: [After Morgan comes rushing to Chuck to tell about the birth of Clara] General, General, can we borrow a van?
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski, you just arrested Alexei Volkoff and obtained the Hydra Network we have spent the last 20 years searching for. Lieutenant, get this man a chopper.
Morgan: I look like a seal like this. A seal that does yoga. Yoga seal!
Devon: Listen, I've got to run. I still need to find someone to make Ellie's placenta into vitamin pills.
Chuck: Huh, I need to un-hear that. How do I un-hear that?
Captain Awesome: (holding his newborn baby girl) Awesome.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]

Sarah: Chuck, if we get caught because you sneeze we are officially the worst spies in the world.
Chuck: I know, bad Three Stooges. I get it and I won't. But man it is dusty!
Roan: So, last I saw you two, you were a young exciting couple, chasing, flirting. Now the silent treatment. Sexy.
Chuck: If you must know we are very much in love, happy and soon to be married. Just having a bit of a disagreement right now and the ball and chain isn't helping.
Sarah: Are you calling me a ball and chain?
Chuck: There is a ball and ch... There is an actual ball and chain, here. Do you not see this? On the ground attached to my leg? Ball and chain.
Sarah: Yes. What's with all the 'no's lately anyway?
Chuck: I may have been a little obstinante before.
Roan: Okay, let me guess, this is about something bigger. Performance issues?
Chuck: No! I am adequate. More than adequate in that depart... [to Sarah] Right? You can't agree. I... Sarah I don't want to elope. I just don't, not at all, not even the slightest bit. I always wanted a big family wedding and now more than ever so no. My answer to eloping is no.
Sarah: Okay, fine I hear what you're saying. But why do you get to say no? What about what I want?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]

Narrator: [opening sequence] They say it's a personality thing, but to me, a martini's got gin, not vodka. Some folks like chocolate. I'll take vanilla. I say baseball over football. And to me, man's best friend doesn't bark or catch a ball. See, personally, I like cats. Meet my Clandestine Attack Team. Better known as the CAT Squad. Me-ow. They were the best spy team in the business. The year... 2003. The girls... Cold-hearted Carina. [Carina shoots a man] Zondra, the bitch! [Zondra fights a number of men] Amy-- the party girl. [Amy defends herself from an attacker at a party] And... my pride and joy... Sarah Walker. [Sarah kicks a man and holds him at knifepoint] Go get 'em, cats!
[Smash cut to a chuckling Morgan, revealing the entire sequence to be in his imagination]
Morgan: [about Carina] I can not be alone with that woman. She wants me. Badly. John, she desires my physical person!
Casey: And I'm hunting unicorns.
Sarah: [to Amy as the squad blocks her escape] Going somewhere, pussy?
Narrator: [closing voice-over, in reference to Ellie] Aw, who says cats can't play nice? You never know, maybe we'll add another member to this squad.
[Chuck watches from a distance and slowly smiles]
Morgan: Your description of C.A.T. Squad has sent me into fantasy land.
Chuck: I don't want to know what goes on there.
Chuck: Look at all the bad guys I tranqed!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Masquerade [4.16]

[edit] Chuck Versus the First Bank of Evil [4.17]

[Sarah and Chuck are robbing the First Bank of Macau as a diversion for Vivian]
Chuck: Having fun?
Sarah: A little.
Chuck: Kinda takes your mind off the whole wedding thing doesn't it?
Sarah: Actually it hasn't been so bad. I took you up on your advice and I found a dress.
Chuck: Hey!
Sarah: Ellie was right when I put it on it felt like magic. [to a bank patron] Get down on the ground before I blow your freaking head off!
Chuck: I'm so glad you found a dress. That's awesome and I bet you look gorgeous in it. [to a teller] Don't be a hero my friend! I will break your face!
Chuck: [after hearing Sarah make several outrageous demands for the wedding] What the heck was that?
Ellie: I think I created a monster.
Chuck: Yeah, well... 'Cause I work... I work... I work at the Buy More, and that stuff sounds kind of pricey.
Ellie: Maybe you could just pick up a few extra shifts... Or rob a bank.
Chuck: [having just robbed a bank] Ha! You...

[edit] Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]

Chuck: [to Noble and Dunwoody] So, are you guys a couple or something?
Rick Noble: Don't be ridiculous.
Victoria Dunwoody: It's against agency protocol.
Noble: Romantic entanglements lead to lapses in judgment.
Dunwoody: [to Chuck and Sarah] You ought to know.
Ellie: The problem is, I only have one test subject, so in order to control my experiment, we're going have to have a second baby. [Devon freezes] Joking.
Sarah: If the Turk's dog is behind that door, so is the Turk!
Chuck: All we gotta do is break through four inches of steel.
Sarah: Or we chop off Casey's hand.
Chuck: [shocked] Let's keep that as our backup plan, shall we?
Chuck: [outside Morgan and Casey's shared apartment] Let me in!
Morgan: Over my dead body Chuck.
Sarah: [breaking in through the ceiling] How about over your tranqed body?
Morgan: You were distracting me so she could break in.
Chuck Yeah.
Morgan: Clever girl. You using the five millimeter darts?
Sarah: Ten.
Morgan: Please tell Casey I put up a good fight! [Sarah tranquilizes him]
Devon: You're not "just" anything, Ellie.
Ellie: Really?
Devon: You're Mrs. Awesome.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]

Ellie: My dad's work is so amazing. I've never seen such creative use of neuroplasticity before. His mind is incredible!
Awesome: That's probably where Clara gets it. She said "arthroscopic" yesterday.
Ellie: Honey, if Clara can say "arthroscopic" she needs to stop pooping her pants.
Beckman: This time our search will be led my the only man who knows what it's really like being an Intersect. Chuck, we need you to find more Chucks.
Chuck: [nearly gloating] Well it's gonna be tough. Broke the mold, et cetera.
Casey: Good lord. Four more Chucks?
[Chuck tasks Morgan with testing the candidates' "cultural knowledge"]
Morgan: [to Lewis] Quick: Rush's best album?
Lewis: Ah! Caress of Steel.
Morgan: [imitates a buzzer] No. Next.
Morgan: [to Damien] Charlton Heston sci-fi question for you. What's cooler: Soylent Green or Omega Man?
Damien: Trick question. POTA.
Morgan: [whispering] Wow!
[Chuck nods his head in approval]
Morgan: [to Josie] Favorite Bond: Connery excluded?
Josie: I have no opinion about any of this. Why do men care so much about these things? Nothing you're asking me matters at all. [Bentley nods her head in approval]
Morgan: [whispering to a confused Chuck] What on earth is she talking about?
Morgan: [to Brody] Most important graphic novelist: Grant Morrison or Moore/Gibbons?
Brody: Kind of a Brian Vaughan man, myself.
Chuck: [interrupts a disapproving Morgan] Actually... I've always secretly felt that way.
[Chuck and Brody nod in agreement]

[edit] Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff [4.20]

Devon: [reading aloud a book to the baby] So, really, the missing link isn't actually missing. It's a misnomer when a fossil shows a specimen in a state of the intermediary development.
Ellie: [about something else] It's missing.
Devon: Babe, you really think it's wise to argue in front of the baby?
Volkoff: Remember, family and friends are everything. Money, greed, and power are a dance with Satan. And he looks like me.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]

Chuck: [to Sarah] Do our wedding colors remind you of socialism?
Devon: Go ahead, try and run! I will catch you because I have superior form.
Young Sarah: We don't need money to have an adventure together.
Jack: You're right - all we need is you and me.
Morgan: [to Sarah, after they incapacitate the second Klüg brother] Spy high-five!

[edit] Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]

Big Mike: [referring to Las Vegas] It's about high stakes, and gambling, and getting into some weird stuff that just might haunt you for the rest of your life.
Lester: I got a fat stack burning a hole in my crotch.
Jeff: Let's get this party started.
Casey: [eager to kill Riley's mercenaries] My sentiments exactly.
Mrs. Winterbottom: [firing a machine gun at an assault team on her lawn] There go my primroses! Eat lead, you bastards!

[edit] Chuck Versus the Last Details [4.23]

Mary: [toasting Chuck and Sarah] May you have many more adventures together, and may you always keep each other safe.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]

[Mary and Casey help Chuck and Hartley escape]
Mary: [to Hartley] You and Chuck need to break into Volkoff Industries. There'll be lots of security there, so you'll have to go as your old self.
Hartley: [his true identity having been restored] Of course, as Volkoff.
Mary: Yes, but he's not you. He's a mean, dictatorial, conniving...
Chuck: ...manipulative, amoral...
Casey: ...limey with relatively good teeth.
Hartley: Sounds like I was a monster.
All: You were.
Casey: [as reinforcements from Volkoff Industries arrive] Russians...so many Russians...
Morgan: [last words of the episode, after accidentally downloading the Intersect] Guys...I know Kung Fu.

[edit] Season 5

[edit] Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]

Casey: I want it noted that I took out six of their guys.
Morgan: I'm so sorry, fishies, about your pond.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]

Casey: It made a nasty scar, right over one of my favorite scars.
Chuck: ....scary, exciting, your hormones are all out of whack, you're really discovering your body! [On the intersect]
'Sarah: First of all, its 'Mrs.' [Sarah correcting Gertrude on her marital status]

[edit] Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]

Casey: Good job of breaking me out, moron, I was actually a little proud of you.
Morgan: Did you just compliment me AND insult me?
Casey: This is were we come in our darkest hours-Iran Contra, Nicaragua, the Clinton years... [on a deserted honky tonk bar]
Sarah: If you ever go out alone again, just remember, I'm a trained assassin.
Chuck: You wouldn't shoot me, would you?

[edit] Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]

Jeff: [in the basement, seeing paint on the back of Lester's shirt] What the...? [He turns around and feels and smells the wall] It's still wet.
Lester: Oh. Oh, yeah.
Jeff: Remember when I was in Pine Ridge?
Lester: The...mental institution? Yeah.
Jeff: It was so dreary, they'd actually put fake backdrops in the windows.
Lester: That's pretty cruel.
Jeff: I always knew it was fake.
Lester: Um, where are we going with this, buddy?
Jeff: [grabs a dumbbell] I guess what I'm trying to say is...it's not always easy to trick a mental patient. [He punches through the wall with the dumbbell and discovers the Castle, where Chuck, Sarah and Morgan are sitting] I knew it! We were right! Lester!
[Morgan quickly shoots a tranq dart into Jeff's neck, who falls to the ground unconscious.]
Lester: Jeffrey!
[Morgan shoots another dart at Lester's head. He falls as well.]
Morgan: Oh, crap. I mean, we've got a problem.
Chuck: Yeah, I'd call it that.

[edit] Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]

Casey: There's one thing Russians do well—it's give good hugs.
[The series' last lines]
Chuck: You know, Morgan has this crazy idea.
Sarah: What is it?
Chuck: He thinks that, with one kiss, you'll remember everything.
Sarah: One magical kiss?
Chuck: Yeah. I know, it's...
Sarah: Chuck.
Chuck: Yeah?
Sarah: Kiss me.

[edit] Cast

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