Crash Twinsanity

From Wikiquote

Jump to: navigation, search

Crash Twinsanity is a platform game from the Crash Bandicoot series. It was released by Traveller's Tales for PlayStation 2 and Xbox on September 28, 2004. Taking place three years after the events of Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex, Crash Twinsanity follows Crash Bandicoot and Doctor Neo Cortex as they are forced to work together to stop a pair of mutant parrots who have some kind of connection with Doctor Cortex of destroying the Wumpa Islands.

Contents

[edit] Doctor Neo Cortex

  • [after paralyzing Coco Bandicoot] Sleep, my insipid angel.
  • It's true: blondes do have more fun!
  • Surprised to see me, Crash? Like the fleas in your fur, I keep coming back! Three years I've spent alone in the frozen Antarctic wastes... and I missed you! And so I've organized a little gathering, like a birthday party, except... the exact opposite! And look! [he points to a corner, where many of the "Crash Bandicoot" series' recurring villains can be seen] All of your friends are here! You are so very popular. Let's start handing out the presents!
  • You know, Crash? For all these years I've been wrong about you. Your creation was a mistake, and your existence has been a constant reminder of that mistake. But I've learned something with all of this: I've learned that you can't run away from your mistakes... but you can bury them!
  • I'm an evil scientist. What do you expect? This isn't a game!
  • Keep back, you weak-minded fool! Avert your gaze or you'll go crystal crazy!
  • Crash, I've been like a father to you! I created you, nursed you... tried to destroy you...
  • In the dark ocean of my intellect swims a magnificent whale of a plan!
  • This is where we wrong the rights and sweep the past under the rug...
  • Sleep soundly, Nina, and don't fear the night, with its large claws that scratch and its sharp teeth that bite! Under the covers, there's no need to hide, for your uncle's the monster and he's on your side!
  • Ah, yes, the old alma mater. As a former student [of the Academy of Evil] myself, I'm well-acquainted with the many secrets this institution holds.

[edit] The Evil Twins

  • Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!
  • Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!
  • Moritz: See you around, losers! Say, is it lunchtime yet?
  • Victor: See? This is why nobody likes you. A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all!
  • Victor: That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for the lost time and play with your pets? So, be it!
  • Moritz: Oh, boy! I love roast chicken!
  • Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending.
  • Victor: So, this is how the rich and ugly fly?
  • Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Skip to the good bit.
  • Moritz: Boooooooring!

[edit] Others

  • Uka Uka: My, my. Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you!
  • Dingodile: Treasure, eh? Bonza!
  • Madame Amberly: Zo, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber.
  • Rusty Walrus: Ah, yummy! Fresh meat for my pot!
  • Aku Aku: It is I, Aku Aku! My duty is to protect you. You may summon me by breaking open these crates. Call me thrice and I shall grant you special powers!
  • Skunk: Hey, hey, hey! Hey, you! I've been doing this for ten stinking years! Back and forward, back and forward, and I'm sick of it! Well, I'm not gonna do it no more!
  • Nina Cortex: Huh?
  • Rusty Walrus: Come back here, naughty meat!
  • Madame Amberly: Are you going to cry, cry-baby?

[edit] Dialogue

Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!
Doctor Neo Cortex: Aren't you two adorable? Let me see... I might have some choccy treats here for you!
Moritz: Choccy treats!? Ooh! Ooh! [he advances to Cortex, but Victor stops him with his arm]
Victor: We got some good news, and some bad.
Moritz: The bad news — we are going to destroy your precious islands.
Victor: The good — you won't be around to see it.
Doctor Neo Cortex: How tiresome!
Victor: Oh! You wanna play mind games? Okay, tough guy! [using his psychokinesis, Victor grabs Cortex's brain from inside his head. Cortex screams] Let's play mind games! [Victor knocks out Cortex with his brain] This is the part where you run away screaming. [Cortex stays brain-dead for a while, until he screams and runs away, holding his brain] Go on! Run!
Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!
Dingodile: Cozy, ain't it? Rumor is you two chumps have got yer mits in some treasha, and I want a piece of dat pie.
Doctor Neo Cortex: I have no idea of what you've just said.
Uka Uka: Free... again!
Doctor Neo Cortex: Mighty Uka Uka...!
Uka Uka: Who has released me from my icy tomb? My, my. Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you!
[Crash puckers to receive a kiss, as Uka Uka conjurates a gigantic body of ice]
[after Uka Uka's ice body is destroyed]
Uka Uka: I shall return! [prepares to fly off]
Aku Aku: Uka Uka, wait! An evil greater than even yours threatens to destroy this world.
Uka Uka: NOOOOOOO!!! That's my job!
Aku Aku: Divided, we are but two magical masks. Join me, and together we shall defeat this evil infestation.
Uka Uka: I like a challenge. I accept! This should be fun!
Aku Aku: The Aku-Uka brothers... together again! [they do a little twirl and disappear]
Doctor Neo Cortex: Come! We must make preparations for... [a ding-dong is heard from the nothing. Crash and Cortex turn around to see a door bearing the Evil Twins' insignia] It's probably for you. [Crash opens the door. The Evil Twins appear, using Aku Aku and Uka Uka as ordinary masks]
Evil Twins: Trick or treat! Trick or treat! [they throw the masks to the floor]
Victor: Fools! You thought these two party toys could defeat us? We're masters of the infinite dimensions! The power over reality itself!
Moritz: And riches beyond imagination!
Doctor Neo Cortex: Riches?
Victor: "Riches"? What's wrong with you!? [punches Moritz's helmet] Always bringing up the riches! You don't remember us, do you, doctor?
Doctor Neo Cortex: Should I?
Victor: You ruined our lives! Allow us... to return the favor. [he then sends his army of bionic Ants to attack Crash]
[after Crash and Cortex defeat the Ants. Crash gives a thumbs-up to Cortex. Cortex smiles]
Victor: See? This is why nobody likes you. A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all! We shall return!
Moritz: Oh! Forget I mentioned the riches thing, huh? [they leave]
Aku Aku: Doctor Cortex, what have you done?
Uka Uka: Who are those evil lob starts!?
Doctor Neo Cortex: I've ruined the lives of so many! I can't be expected to remember them all...
Uka Uka: Such a big head... such a tiny brain!
Aku Aku: If we deliver him to the Evil Twins, perhaps they'll spare us.
Doctor Neo Cortex: But they'll kill me!
Uka Uka: That's a risk I'm willing to take!
Doctor Neo Cortex: Crash, I've been like a father to you! I created you, nursed you... tried to destroy you... Truce. With my mighty intellect and your vacuous stupidity, we'll be unbeatable! [he and Crash shake hands]
Doctor Neo Cortex: Well, well, well... Apparently, you two little rascals had been very busy since the last we'd saw each other!
Victor: Busy finding a way to meet you again! Your failed experiment sent two innocent parrots to the Tenth Dimension! The severe reverso-radioactive conditions here sharpened our skills and warped our fragile eggshell minds. Ingredients for the classic recipe in the Evil Villain Cookbook!
Moritz: [giggles] You see, pops? When it comes to evil scientific prowess, we learn from the best!
Doctor Neo Cortex: True. But now, playtime is over! [points to a birdcage nearby] Victor! Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty boys! [the Twins fly onto the cage]
Victor: What am I doing? Curse my regimented upbringing! That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for the lost time and play with your pets? So, be it!
[the Twins morph the cage into a gigantic mech]
Madame Amberly: You are in detention!
Doctor Neo Cortex: Madame Amberly...!
Madame Amberly: Zo, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber.
[Cortex looks sadly to his outfit]
Doctor Neo Cortex: [whining] I'm an evil scientist!!
Madame Amberly: A scientist, are we? To me, you'll always be a little worm!
[Cortex and Crash are talking to Farmer Ernest, who is holding a Power Crystal]
Farmer Ernest: Oh, Crash! The Farmers' Market is tomorrow and my Wumpa trees won't grow, for my orchard is riddled with greedy worms! If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this Power Crystal.
[Cortex paralyzes Ernest with his raygun and grabs the crystal]
Doctor Neo Cortex: [to the audience] I'm an evil scientist. What do you expect? This isn't a game!
Victor: Aw, nuts!
Moritz: [happily] There's nuts?
Victor: Well, you gave it your best shot. But even now, our Vice-Versa Reverser Device is in operation, sucking the goodness out of this dimension and leaving behind the worst of all possible worlds! We just like making a mess.
Moritz: See you around, losers! Say, is it lunchtime yet? [they leave]
Doctor Neo Cortex: Hmmm... Tenth Dimension... Yes. Yes! In the dark ocean of my intellect swims a magnificent whale of a plan! [cut to a gigantic laboratory incrusted in an iceberg] To the laboratory! We're not beaten yet! The game is on!
Doctor Neo Cortex: I love my airship! It is the only way to fly. [he turns around, to see that the Evil Twins are in there too]
Victor: Hey, hey! So, this is how the rich and ugly fly?
Moritz: Oh, stewardess! May I have another bag of those spicy peanuts? [laughs]
Doctor Neo Cortex: I will...
Moritz: Boooooooring! [he then uses his psychokinesis to fast-forward Cortex's discourse]
Doctor Neo Cortex: [extremely quickly] I will crush you like the puny bugs you are! You're nothing to me for I'm the great and all-powerful Neo Cortex! You infantile vermin! How dare you both manhandle and manipulate me? Rest assured, I shall wreak my terrible vengeance upon... [he stops to catch his breath]
Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Skip to the good bit.
[he sends once more his Ants to attack Cortex]
Doctor Neo Cortex: Oh, my! I almost forgot... the treasure!
Doctor Nefarious Tropy: [out-screen] Our treasure!
[Cortex turns around to see Doctors N. Tropy, N. Brio and N. Gin]
Doctor N. Gin: Yes! We are rich!
Doctor Neo Cortex: That treasure is stolen property.
Doctor Nefarious Tropy: It's a little late to develop a conscience, doctor.
Doctor Neo Cortex: Personally, I don't care. But I think he... [he points to Spyro the Dragon, who is guarding the treasure] ...might want his gems back...
[Spyro burns Tropy, Brio and N. Gin with his fire breath. Cortex laughs]
[The Evil Twins are seen heading to Evil Crash's house. They enter, and the door closes on its own. Victor starts pummeling the door, but Moritz calls his attention to Evil Crash, who looks at them with a hungry expression. Through his eyes, the Evil Twins are seen as two roast chickens]
Roast chicken 1 (Moritz): Oh, boy! I love roast chicken!
Roast chicken 2 (Victor): Well, this is one heck of an ending.
[Evil Crash eats them both out-screen]

[edit] Tagline

  • They're working together, but they don't have to like it!

[edit] Voice cast

[edit] External links

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
Retrieved from "http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Crash_Twinsanity"
Personal tools