Dexter (TV series)

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Dexter (2006) is a television series starring Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan.

Contents


[edit] Season 1

[edit] Dexter

Donovan: I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.
Dexter: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children. I could never do that. Not like you. Never. Ever. Kids.
Donovan: Why?
Dexter: I have standards.
Dexter: (Deb dressed as hooker) Geez Deb, where the hell do you keep your gun?
Maria LaGuerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?
Dexter: I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane?
Dexter: Talk to me about Jane Saunders.
Jaworski: Okay, I did her.
Dexter: How?
Jaworski: In a movie. A snuff film, but I'm not sorry.
Dexter: Of course not, and now I'm not sorry either. (Dexter swings blade for the kill)
Dexter: (voiceover) That's it. He's definitely the one. Now it's just a matter of time before he becomes a drop of blood in my glass slide collection.
Dexter: (voiceover) But for me sex never enters into it. I don't understand sex. Not that I have anything against women, and I certainly have an appropriate sensibility about men. But when it comes to the actual act of sex, it's always just seemed so undignified.
Dexter: (voiceover) Animals don't like me, especially dogs. I don't think they approve of what I sometimes do to their masters. That dog recognizes me, as easily as I can recognize Jaworski.
Dexter: (voiceover) Just like me - empty inside.
Dexter: (to Deb) Keep the sex suit on when you're talking to the Captain, it'll help your cause.
Dexter: (voiceover) Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos. The Code of Harry, my foster father, is satisfied and so am I.
Dexter: Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest.
Dexter: (voiceover about the doll parts in his freezer) I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" And yes, I want to play. I really really do.
Camilla Figg: You have a morbid sense of fun.
Dexter: That's probably true...
Dexter: (voiceover) No blood... No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood. No blood at all! Why hadn't I thought of that? No blood, what a beautiful idea.
Police Officer: See you at the next bloodbath?
Dexter: I never miss a party.
Dexter: (voiceover) Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile.
Dexter: (As victim averts his eyes from dead bodies) Look! Or I will cut your eyelids right off your face.
Dexter: (voiceover) Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I’m a very neat monster.
Dexter: (voiceover) People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.
Dexter: (voiceover) There’s something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you’re in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!
Harry Morgan: Remember this forever, you are my son, you are not alone, and you are loved.
Dexter: (voiceover) She's the only person in the world who loves me. I think that's nice. I don’t have feeling about anything, but if I could have feelings at all, I’d have them for Deb.
Dexter: (voiceover) The only real question I have is why in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight to the human soul, is Doakes the only one who gets the creeps from me?
Mike Donovan: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord-
(Dexter slaps him)
Dexter: Stop, that never helped anybody.
James Doakes:: (to Dexter) I'm watching you, motherfucker.

[edit] Crocodile

Dexter:: My father taught me one thing above all others; to be sure. And I am. Matt Chambers, Miami is your last stop. If God is in the details and if I believed in God, he’s in this room with me. I just wish he had brought an extension cord.
Dexter:: My sister puts up a front so people won't know how vulnerable she really is. Me? I put up a front so people won't know how vulnerable I'm not.
Dexter:: I dream. I dream I'm floating on the surface of my own life. Watching it unfold. Observing it. I'm the outsider looking in.
Dexter:: So what's up, hot shot?
Debra:: Alright, get this. Lieutenant's looking for that refrigerated truck in every swamp, glade and chop shop from here to the Keys. The way I see it, that whack-job truck driver threw a severed head at your car. It's not as if he's shy.
Dexter:: You think he's hiding the truck in plain sight, wanting it to be found?
Debra:: Why is it we never talk brother-sister stuff?
Dexter:: Our dad was a cop, you're a cop, I work for the cops... for us, this is brother-sister stuff.
Dexter:: I see their pain. On some level I even understand their pain. I just can't feel their pain.
Dexter:: Lately the thing that surprises me most about Rita is how much I like being with her. But whenever that happens with a woman, when I feel comfortable with her, it all goes wrong. That's why I think it's best to take it one step at a time.
Debra:: So, Miami is the haystack and the ice truck's the needle, right? Brother, I just found the fucking needle!
Debra:: Watching ice melt, this is fun.
Vince Masuoka:: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.
Angel Batista:: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!
Dexter:: Huh?
Vince Masuoka:: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuoka only swings one way.
Debra:: Yeah, from vine to vine...
Maria LaGuerta:: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.
Dexter:: Not guilty. Matt Chambers may have found a way to beat the system, but so have I.

[edit] Popping Cherry

Dexter: (While holding Jeremy down) Look I don't want to cancel all my credit cards and I hate waiting in line at the DMV, so give me back the wallet you stole from my car or I'll break your fucking neck!
Dexter: Harry taught me that death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. He taught me that none of us are who we appear to be on the outside. But we must maintain appearances to survive. But there was something Harry didn't teach me. Something he didn't know, couldn't possibly know. The willful taking of life represents the ultimate disconnect from humanity. It leaves you an outsider, forever looking in, searching for company to keep.
Dexter: (voiceover) If I had a heart, it would probably be breaking right now.

[edit] Let's Give The Boy A Hand

Dexter:: (voiceover) I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I'm Dexter. Boo.
Harry Morgan:: Being part of a family means smiling for photos.
Young Dexter:: Why should I pretend to be happy?
Dexter:: I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask... not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend - all part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

[edit] Love American Style

(Dexter is staring off into space at a crime scene)

Dexter:: (voiceover) I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague... Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be... freeing.
James Doakes:: Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work!

[edit] Circle of Friends

Dexter:: I hate to break this to you Deb, but you know you've got the wrong guy here, right? The Ice Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry on the other hand stuffs roadkill.
Debra:: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.
Dexter:: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.
Debra:: How do you know?
Dexter: (pause) Because it is pathetic.

[edit] Shrink Wrap

Dexter: (While sedating Dr. Emmett Meridian) Not so fast, Doc.

[edit] Born Free

Dexter: I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.
Rudy/Brian: I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.
Dexter: Sorry.
Rudy/Brian: You don't ever have to apologize to me Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.
Dexter: Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized.
Rudy/Brian: Looks just like it used to, doesn't it?
Dexter: Who does it belong to?
Rudy/Brian: Me. I got it for you, actually.
Dexter: I'm really more an apartment person.
Rudy/Brian: Your victims. Are they all killers?
Dexter: Yes.
Rudy/Brian: Harry teach you that?
Dexter: He taught me a code. To survive.
Rudy/Brian: Like an... absurd avenger?
Dexter: That's not why I kill.
Rudy/Brian: You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?
Dexter: A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.
Rudy/Brian: You can be that way too.
Dexter: But the code...
Rudy/Brian: (laughs) Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep- keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy Fucking Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.
Dexter: I don't know who I am.
Rudy/Brian: Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.
Dexter: I can't. Not Deb...
Rudy/Brian: No- no, don't say that.
Dexter: I'm very... fond of her.
Rudy/Brian: You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!
Rita: Deb must be a mess. I mean falling for a serial killer?
Dexter: What are the odds?
Rita: You might even find I can handle the truth.
Dexter: (voiceover) I wish that was the case.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] It's Alive!

Dexter: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again, and again. Has to happen. It's not what I want. But what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike.
[Dexter bowls.]
Dexter: Although a spare will do.
Masuka: Keep your mind limber.
Dexter: I'm doing mental jumping jacks.
Dexter: I'm on edge. Thirty-eight days, sixteen hours, and twelve minutes have passed since I killed my brother. In that entire time, I haven't had a single night to myself. Sergeant Doakes makes sure of that. He follows me everywhere now. A human bloodhound incited by the scent of darkness. My best hope of losing him is to act relentlessly normal. Dull. So I bowl. What's really disturbing is that I'm good at it.
Dexter: [thoughts] With Doakes following me, my life has been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit playdates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed.
Angel: Don't forget! Tell the universe what you really need!
Dexter: [thoughts] I really need... to kill somebody.
Dexter: I come here to dump bodies, not beer bottles. Now I'm just a litter bug.
Dexter: Maybe I took pity on him. Yeah, he's a killer, but he also bumps into walls.
Dexter: Hey, Sergeant. Thanks for supporting the bowling team.
Doakes: Fuck you.
Doakes: So, titty site?
Dexter: Oops. You caught me.
Doakes: Bull shit. What were you really doing in here?
Dexter: [pointing to the laptop screen] The tits are right there.
Doakes: Yeah. But in ten years, you've never rented a single porn title.
[Deciding on who gets to inspect the body.]
Masuka: Alright, call it - heads or tails?
Dexter: Heads.
[Dexter goes to see the body.]
Masuka: I didn't flip yet!
Dexter: You said call it.

[Dexter stands in some blood.]

Doakes: You're supposed to preserve the crime scene, asshole.
[A hysterical woman runs onto the crime scene and is soon escorted away.]
Doakes: Can we please secure this motherfucking crime scene!?
Dexter: That girl's gonna need more than crayons to set her world right. Killing Little Chino would restore my world, too. But only if the Code of Harry is satisfied.
Dexter: You've been benched?
Debra: Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.
Dexter: Wow.
Dexter: With a witness, Little Chino will never reach my "cutting court room".
Masuka: I heard we captured Bigfoot.
Dexter: Behold, the eighth wonder of the world.
[Dexter puts on a video of Little Chino.]
Doakes: Am I speaking clearly?
Little Chino: Ha, ha. Yeah.
Doakes: Then answer my fucking question, Chino.
[Dexter packs away several killing tools while on the phone to Rita.]
Dexter: I need your help. I know how much you were looking forward to going out tonight, but I think Deb could use me more.
Rita: Dexter, this... isn't about this morning, is it?
Dexter: No, no! I swear! This is about Deb. She had her first day at work today and LaGuerta was kind of rough on her.
[Debra knocks on the door.]
Debra: Dexter, unlock the door.
Dexter: [to Rita] Hold on. [to Debra] Hold on!
Debra: Dexter, come on! Dexter, open the fucking door!
Dexter: [to Rita] See, she's yelling at me now. Look, I'm no expert, but I think Deb could use some girl time tonight.
Rita: Well, I won't lie. I'm a little disappointed. But, I know your heart's in the right place.
[Dexter puts a butcher's knife in a bag.]
Dexter: Absolutely.
Dexter: Tonight's the night. Really.
[Dexter walks over to Doakes, who is in a car.]
Dexter: Hey there! I'm gonna work on my release tonight. Practice, practice, practice. Lane's open till midnight. You wanna join me?
Doakes: Fuck it.
[Doakes drives away.]
Dexter: Some gangs earn teardrops of blood by killing. I understand - we all need our keepsakes. One man's tattoos are another man's blood slides.

[Little Chino escapes from Dexter.]

Dexter: Thirty-nine days, twenty-two hours and eighteen minutes since I killed my brother. I am cursed.
Dexter: [to Debra] Are you alright? Rita said you got into a bar brawl tonight.

[edit] Waiting to Exhale

Dexter: I'm drifting. I finally get a chance to kill and I can't do it. I get a second chance and he gets away. And now all my secrets are floating to the surface. Where is the orderly controlled effective Dexter? Where did I lose him? How do I find him again? I'm drifting. But not to sleep.
Masuka: Eight confirmed.
Dexter: Eight confirmed? Here?
Angel: No. Here is just one.
Masuka: We're tucking eight confirmed victims of the Bay Harbor Butcher.
Dexter: The Bay Harbor... Butcher?
Masuka: That's what the press is calling whoever dumped those bodies off shore. Has a nice ring to it, no?
Dexter: Well, it's a little... lurid.
Angel: Lurid and possibly wrong. Part of me's hoping they found the Ice Truck Killer's dumping ground.
Dexter: Tell me about it. Last thing Miami needs is another serial killer.
[About a dead body.]
Angel: First she's a messenger-
Doakes: Now she's a god damn message.
[Dexter stares at the dead body.]
Doakes: Why don't you take a picture, Morgan? It'll last longer.
Dexter: What would I do without you, Sergeant?
Dexter: I have to focus. Tune everything out. If I don't, being linked to my beautiful bodies of work will be the least of my worries.
[Dexter was about to hit Doakes with a torch.]
Doakes: Go ahead. Try it. I've been waiting.
Dexter: This neighbourhood?
[Dexter shines the torch on himself.]
Dexter: It's full of crazies. I'll lock my doors.
Debra: Bathroom's all yours.
Dexter: Eh. Kind of always was.
Dexter: I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.
Rita: [on the phone] No, no. Calm is what I was thirty minutes ago. Pissed is what I am now.
Doakes: Any idea who the FBI's sending?
Angel: Some guy named Lundy.
Doakes: Frank Lundy? He's a rock star. The Green River Killer; the DC Sniper; the case was impossible - he broke it.
LaGuerta: Now, James, you should do whatever you can to get on Lundy's task force. It's a career maker.
Angel: Hey. Just visualise that door of opportunity just opening up wide for you, and just... walk right through it.
Doakes: Angel, you keep up with this woo-woo shit, I'ma walk right through you.
Dexter: Red rover, red rover, send Chino back over.
Masuka: I bet you this guy never expected his work to see the light of day.
Dexter: I bet you're right.
Dexter: Still, it can't be easy to hide a body nowadays.
Masuka: Are you shitting me?
Dexter: Hypothetical. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher. How do you make sure that disposed bodies stay disposed?
Masuka: Tons of options. Everglades. Alligators. Pig farms. Sulphuric acid. Woodchipper. Incinerator. Hell, even meat pies.
Lundy: Hello everyone. There is no such thing as the perfect crime. Not in my experience, anyway.
Lundy: So, let's get a jump start on the Bay Harbor Butcher. A moniker which, by the way, repulses me.
Dexter: [thoughts] Well, we have something in common.
[Images of dismembered body parts are shown.]
Lundy: First report from the field had these parts as coming from one body.
Dexter: [thoughts] Actually, it's two.
Lundy: Actually, it's two.
Lundy: There's been speculation that this human harvest is connected to a case we recently solved. But there are several inconsistencies between the two sets of body parts. Gender. Exhanguination. Specific methods of dissection.
Dexter: [thoughts] Not to mention my guys deserved it.
Dexter: I can't afford to lose it. Not with Special Agent Rock Star on my case.
[Officers gives Dexter a gun.]
Officers: Some 'gators giving you trouble, Dex?
Dexter: They, uh, they ate my puppy.
Dexter: Come on, don't get the shakes now. This is no time for performance anxiety.
Angel: You want me to knock on some doors?
Doakes: Or maybe some heads?
[Debra nearly trips over a suitcase.]
Debra: What fucking asshole left this here!?
Lundy: It's Special Agent Fucking Asshole. Morgan, right?
Doakes: Excuse me, sir, do you have a minute?
Lundy: Or three. Good tea takes time.
Dexter: I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I'm not even sure what the picture should be.
[Angel knocks on a door.]
Angel: Miami Metro. May we talk to you?
Woman: Go to Hell!
Angel: Okay. But, before we do that, ma'am, can I ask you a few questions?
Woman: How many is a few?
Debra: Uh, three. But one's a two-parter.
Woman: Go away before I call the police!
Debra: We are the fucking police!
Woman: I ain't talking to no-one with language like that!
Angel: Let's look at the bright side.
Debra: What bright side?
Angel: Comically, we're batting a thousand. There's something balancing about that kind of consistency.
[Dexter enters a church.]
Dexter: If I believed in God, if I believe in sin, this is the place where I'd be sucked straight to Hell. If I believed in Hell.
Priest: I'm sorry for your loss.
Dexter: Thank you, father.
Brian: I'm not sorry.
Dexter: You're still here.
Brian: Never left.
Dexter: Yeah, you did. I killed you.
Brian: No. You just took my life.
Dexter: So, how do I make you go away?
Brian: Hmm. Well, you could try doing what these people are doing.
Dexter: I'm not like them.
Brian: Well, if it helps, I can tell you that it's not your fault. What you did to me.
Dexter: I never said it was.
Brian: But you feel it.
Dexter: How do you know that?
Brian: It's in your nature.
Dexter: I'm not human.
Brian: No. You're just fucked up.
Dexter: I need to let you go.
Brian: You think it's as simple as that?
Dexter: Nothing's simple.
Dexter: [on the phone] Hey, Deb. It's me. Again. I'm sure you're at the gym. Again.
[Pushing Little Chino's body on a cart.]
Dexter: It was simple really. All I had to do was put myself into the mind of a killer. Hardly a stretch.
Little Chino: What the fuck are you?
Dexter: Well, that kind of talk is gonna bring you closer to your victims.
Little Chino: Why are you doing this to me?
Dexter: I'm not so much as doing it to you, as I'm doing it for me.
Little Chino: You kill me... what do you leave behind?
Dexter: A world without you.
[Dexter holds a knife above Little Chino.]
Dexter: Look at that - steady as a surgeon.
[Dexter gets ready to throw Little Chino's body into the ocean when he gets a phone call.]
Rita: I need to see you.
Dexter: Err, I was about to drop somebody off. Can it wait?
Dexter: [to Rita] A shoe? You wanted to see me about a shoe?
Rita: Are you an addict?
Dexter: Yes. I have an addiction.
Debra: I saw some buildings with "for rent" signs. I'm gonna check 'em out. Then chez Dexter can return to its original, museum-like quality state.
Dexter: Deb, you don't need to do this.
Debra: Yes, I do.
Dexter: You don't need to do this now.
Debra: Well, what about the video tours of eligible apartments?
Dexter: Temporary insanity.
Debra: You sure?
Dexter: No. Get out.

[edit] An Inconvenient Lie

Addict: I don't need them for the pain anymore. I just... need them.
Dexter: [thoughts] And I need duct tape. Three or four rolls. Running low on heavy duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives?
Dexter: No self control, lost everything, trying to stop; same whiny story over and over for...
[Dexter checks his watch.]
Dexter: Ten minutes? Feels like ten hours.
Addict: I'd kill for a Vicodin.
Dexter: [thoughts] Lightweight.
Dexter: Hold the elevator!
[Dexter gets his arm into the elevator doors as they close. The elevator opens and he enters. Doakes is in there.]
Dexter: Thanks.
Doakes: Nice dodge last night, flowing it through that yellow light.
Dexter: Oh. Were you behind me?
Doakes: See you tonight.
Masuka: The boss's watermelons look bigger on TV.
LaGuerta: The operative word is "boss" - show some respect.
Masuka: I thought I was.
Lundy: I like food.
Dexter: I go to stalk a killer, and I end up with a new car. How'd that happen?
LaGuerta: New car?
Dexter: Yeah.
LaGuerta: You get married?
Dexter: Not that I know of.
Masuka: Who's your daddy?
Dexter: ... Uh, Harry Morgan?
Masuka: Say it.
Dexter: ... You're my daddy?
Masuka: Sounds weird when you say it.
Lila: Coffee sucks. As does the donuts. It's better next door. Come on.
Lila: So tell me. Exactly how full of shit are you?
Dexter: I'm not full of anything.
Lila: It was a nice performance in there. Where did you download it from? Addict.com?
Dexter: I have no reason to lie.
Lila: Sure you do. We all do.
Dexter: You thought I was lying?
Lila: I dunno. Bob.
Dexter: Well, it is anonymous.
Lila: Everyone in that room has heard, or lived, far worse than anything you've ever done.
Dexter: I doubt it.
Lila: Oh! So you're Super Junkie.
Dexter: I don't mean to imply that what you've been through hasn't been difficult.
Lila: But there's no way that I could know what you've experienced, right? I couldn't possibly fill that need. Like a thousand hiding voices whispering "this is who you are". And you fight the pressure. The growing need rising like a wave. Prickling and teasing and prodding to be fed. But the whispering gets louder, until they're screaming "now!" And it's the only voice you hear. The only voice you want to hear. And you belong to it. To this... shadow self. To this...
Dexter: Dark Passenger.
Lila: Yes. The Dark Passenger.
Rita: Hey, you just missed story time.
Dexter: I was at a meeting. It made me realise something important.
Rita: What's that?
Dexter: Those meetings are not a good place for me. I know how this sounds, but, I can do this on my own.
Rita: Dexter, you need this programme!
Dexter: I've read studies. People are ten times as likely to change on their own as they are with the help of doctors or programmes.
Rita: So, you're quoting studies? Look, I lived this. I watched Paul try and fail with white knuckle supriety.
Dexter: I'm not Paul. I'm not any of those people. Going to those meetings will do more harm than good, I swear to you. I'm better off alone.
Dexter: Two women are dead, the killer is selling mini-vans, and I have an opportunity to prove it. Even if I am laying low. Having a victim prepped and ready will take the edge off the weight. I hope.
Dexter: DNA, DNA, come out and play.
Woman: Uh oh. Roger's got you in the box. Once you're in the box, you don't leave without a deal.
Dexter: ... Uh oh.
Woman: Don't worry, you're safe with Roger. He's the best. I'm just dropping off this "thank you" note.
Dexter: I was just leaving.
Woman: He sent you across the street, didn't he?
Dexter: Cross the street?
Woman: It's okay, he told me not to tell anyone either. Yeah, I don't know how he makes a living sending his commissions to other dealers.
Dexter: Maybe he has ulterior motives.
Woman: Or maybe he knows I can't afford his price.
Dexter: After he ran a credit check?
Woman: TRW doesn't lie.
Dexter: So, you're single?
Woman: [awkwardly] Yeah.
Dexter: Makes it tougher to afford those big ticket items like cars and houses. You rent an apartment?
Woman: A house. Yeah, I hate sharing walls. You can hear everything.
Dexter: Tell me about it. No pets though, right?
Woman: Is this a come on? 'Cause it's a little weird.
Dexter: Must be why I'm still single.
Dexter: Roger's DNA matches the semen found at both crime scenes. Irrefutable. If I do nothing, then another woman dies. Is that my long, dormant conscience talking, or the Dark Passenger whispering?
Debra: It's been twenty-four hours since I asked to be replaced.
Lundy: ... Has it?
Debra: What's taking so long? Every cop on the damn force wants in on this case. Just take your pick.
Lundy: I've been wondering about that, actually. Everyone wants on but, you want off.
Debra: I told you. I have cases.
Lundy: I don't think so.
Debra: Fucks sake. Jesus, I don't wanna be on your task force, alright?
Lundy: Why?
Debra: Because I'm the last person in the world that should be on it. You want me to find a serial killer? I was engaged to one, for Christ sake. What kind of cop- what kind of-
Lundy: That's why I chose you, you know. Because of what you went through. You survived. I don't know how. I can't begin to imagine the strength it took. Continues to take. More than that, you got a first hand look into the mind and heart of a killer. And you're still here. If you can accept that - really accept it - you could use it. Mix that with some of your strength and you can catch someone even worse than the Ice Truck Killer. But you have to stop running. Finish today's interviews. And if you still want out, you got it.
Masuka: Lead fucking investigator. Translation - everyone's bitch. I do have a life, you know.
Dexter: You do?
Masuka: The fucking Bay Habour Butcher is butchering up my own social life.
[Masuka leaves the room.]
Dexter: Sorry.
[Dexter walks out the police station.]
Doakes: Mini-van's that way.
Dexter: Field morgue's this way.
Doakes: I'll wait.
Dexter: You should take the night off, Sergeant.
Doakes: On pizza night? No way.
Doakes: What does that girlfriend of yours see in a freak show like you anyway?
Dexter: You'll have to ask her.
Doakes: Maybe I will.
Dexter: Doakes thinks he knows my secrets. But he only needs to look at this - my body of work - to know the real me.
Lundy: Suit up if you're gonna touch it.
Dexter: Oh! No, I'm just dropping off some x-rays. I'm Dexter Morgan?
Lundy: I know who you are.
Dexter: Are you hoping they'll talk to you?
Lundy: The one's with heads anyway. They always speak, eventually. Just gotta ask the right question.
Dexter: Which is?
Lundy: Why were they chosen?
Dexter: You looking for a pattern?
Lundy: One doesn't kill this many people in this careful, methodical way without a reason. Some... twisted set of principles.
Dexter: They would have to be twisted, wouldn't they?
Lundy: The worst killers in history are usually the one's who think the murders were somehow... just. Even deserved. Leaders have slaughtered whole populations for the same warped reason.
Dexter: But there's never any justification for killing.
Lundy: No. Well, one, of course. To save an innocent life.
Dexter: To save an innocent life.
Dexter: How many more bodies would there have been had I not got to those killers? I didn't want to save lives, but save lives I did. Motivation aside, I think Harry and Lundy would agree on this one.
Dexter: Roger the Artful Dodger.
Roger: Jesus! You scared me, bro.
Dexter: We have some unfinished business.
Roger: Oh, yeah, right, the warranty and stuff. Listen, uh, I can't write you up right now, I've got the wife waiting for me.
Dexter: You're not married.
Roger: Ex-wife. I gotta take the kids.
Dexter: You don't have kids.
Roger: Step-kids. They're her's.
Dexter: Nope.
Roger: Okay, how about this one - I don't give a shit.
[Dexter starts choking Roger.]
Dexter: Neither do I.
[Dexter throws Roger into the back of the mini-van.]
Dexter: You were right about the ample cargo space.
Roger: Where am I?
Dexter: Looks different under plastic, but you spent an evening here with Anne Cowen. You took her last breath from her right over there, you remember?
Roger: No. Y- you're wrong. I wouldn't!
Dexter: No, you would. And you did. And you were about to do it again; that's why we're here.
Roger: No, this is crazy. You got the wrong guy. I- I sell cars for God's sake! I'd never hurt anyone in my life - definitely not a woman!
Dexter: ... Why can't I do that?
Roger: Do what?
Dexter: Lie like that! I thought I was good, but you? It's... mwah.
Roger: I don't lie!
Dexter: Okay, that one was weak.
Roger: Kay, look. Pick any car on the lot. It's yours. T-bird, town car, you name it. Y- yours. Free. I'll call it in right now.
Dexter: Lots closed.
Roger: I'll have them open it up. I'm the manager. They do what I say.
Dexter: The manager's name is Rick Buxton!
Roger: Well, yeah, but I've been there longer than he has.
Dexter: You've been there three months!
Roger: At the other lot.
Dexter: Ha, ha! It's like watching someone ski moguls. You just hop from one lie to the next. No shame, no embarassment. You just don't give a shit. That's the key, right? Not to care about anyone or anything.
Roger: I care. I care a lot.
Dexter: No, it was a compliment. I don't care either.
Roger: Yes, you do. Like about your wife.
Dexter: Not married.
Roger: Girlfriend, then. Saw it the minute you walked on the lot.
Dexter: What did you see? Tell me.
Roger: Look, most guys your age, they'd be live. Right for the horse power, or something. Flashy, sexy. But you. You're there all alone, no-one there to nag you, and you don't even glance at the kooks. The only thing you look at is the mini-van. Like you can see her in the passenger's seat, and the kids in the back.
Dexter: Leave the kids out.
Roger: See? You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care.
Dexter: She's just a companion, really. Started that way, anyway. Someone who... look good. Normal.
Roger: They worm their way in.
Dexter: Yeah, they do. And they shut you out.
Roger: ... That's what this is about? That she shut you out? Oh! Man, okay, I get it. I've been there. But you can't let her get to you like this, cause- cause they're all the same! Fucking bitches! You do everything for them, and then they fuck you! She's not worth it, alright? You're better off without that cunt!
Dexter: Don't!
[Dexter slams his knife into Roger's chest.]
Dexter: Talk that way about my girlfriend!
Dexter: I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am.
Everyone: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter: I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. Certainly don't talk about it. But, it's there. Always. This... Dark Passenger. How when he's driving, I feel... alive. Half-sick with the thrill, complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because, lately, there are these moments that I feel connected to something else. Someone. It's like... the mask is slipping, and things, people, that never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.
Doakes: I knew there was something wrong with you. The secrets, the sneaking around. Now it all makes sense. Lot of cops have been where you are. The booze, the drugs. Makes the job go down easier. Stay clean, and stay out of my way, and we won't have a problem.
[Doakes starts leaving.]
Doakes: Oh, and you owe me a new Michelin, you motherfucker.

[edit] See-Through

[Dexter looks at several of Lila's art projects.]
Dexter: Why are they eating each other?
Lila: Dunno. Ask them.
Lila: Do you like the heat?
Dexter: Um, not really. I'm partial to air conditioning.
Lila: Ah, I love it. Makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment.
Dexter: That's a pleasant thought.
Lila: So, if you're perfectly clean, why'd you call?
Dexter: I'm under a lot of... pressure. At work. I was hoping you could maybe give me some quick tips on how to deal with the urges.
Lila: [amused] There are no quick tips.
Dexter: Oh. I see.
[Lila steals a wind chime.]
Dexter: I thought we were gonna get art supplies.
Lila: That's what we're doing. I work with found art.
Dexter: More like stolen art.
Dexter: Is that what a sponsor does on their first meeting?
Lila: I dunno. I've never sponsored anyone before.
Dexter: Really.
Dexter: You do realise that I work with the police department.
Lila: If we get caught, you can flash your badge.
Dexter: I don't have a badge - I have a laminate.
Lila: So, tell me. Why do you use?
Dexter: ... Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am.
Lila: And who are you?
Dexter: I'm, uh... a bad person.
Lila: Haha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other.
Dexter: Doesn't really seem necessary.
Lila: The first step to recovery is getting to know who you are.
Dexter: I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem.
Lila: And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.
[Dexter answers the phone and hears about a case.]
Dexter: I've gotta get back. Dead body.
Lila: Humph. How many times have you used that one before?
[Doakes looks at several weapons on the counter.]
Doakes: Tell me that shit wasn't stolen from Saddam's palace!
LaGuerta: What are you saying?
Doakes: I'm saying - asshole special ops. No doubt about it.
Dexter: Huh. They're generally known for settling their arguments peacefully.
Doakes: Don't get smug with me.
LaGuerta: Sounds like we're in your world, James.
Doakes: Yeah, I'll take lead on this one.
[Officers enter the body cooling tent.]
Lundy: Pick a body.
Angel: Why did the killer cut 'em up like this?
Masuka: Easy disposal.
Debra: Or for fun. You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it because you like it.
Pascal: I'm gonna need you to run some tests on this shirt.
Dexter: Is there blood?
Pascal: No blood.
Dexter: I'm really the blood guy.
Pascal: It's a smell. It smells like a woman.
Dexter: Which part?
Pascal: Who can identify this for me?
[Dexter looks outside the window and sees Masuka.]
Dexter: Yeah, that's really Masuka's area. He's definitely your man.
Pascal: Thanks.
Dexter: Anything I can do to overburden Masuka is to my advantage. Trust me, I'm not above sending pizzas and hooker to his house in the middle of the night.
Dexter: [thoughts] I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.
[Dexter sees Gail's old fashioned clothing.]
Dexter: [thoughts] You have fibres and threads unknown to us. Your ancient customs intrigue me.
Gail: So, Dexter. Tell me everything there is to know about you.
Dexter: [thoughts] You have made me your sworn enemy, evil woman.
Gail: And I see a young man who is not eating.
Cody: I'm not hungry.
Astor: He's scared the Butcher's gonna get him.
Dexter: Remember, he only gets bad people.
Cody: I was bad today. I threw a ball at Tommy Albertez.
Dexter: Well, that's not too bad. And even if it was, the Bay Harbor Butcher doesn't hurt kids.
Cody: He doesn't?
Dexter: Nah. You're safe.
Rita: When are they gonna hurry up and catch this guy?
Dexter: They're working as hard as they can.
Gail: Well, if what I've heard is true, that he only goes after criminals, I say leave him alone. He's got my seal of approval.
Dexter: [thoughts] Perhaps I have misjudged you, oh wise one.
Debra: What's it gonna be tonight? Chinese? Italian?
Lundy: Actually, I have a social appointment.
Debra: You mean, like, a date?
Lundy: I guess you could call it that.
Debra: Wow. Look at you. New in town, and already hooking up.
Lundy: It's an introduction arranged by a friend. One needs to get out and have a little fun on occassion. It's something I strongly recommend for you as well.
Debra: Yeah, but the hours we work...
Lundy: I'm serious. Make time for it. It'll help keep you better balanced.
Debra: Yes, sir.
[Debra handcuffs Gabriel to the bed post.]
Gabriel: Oh, you're into the kinky stuff, huh?
Debra: No. The last guy I had sex with tried to kill me.
Dexter: "Who is the Bay Harbor Butcher"? God, this obsession with him is relentless. Just like Debra and that damn tredmill.
[The morning after Dexter walked in on Debra having sex.]
Dexter: Morning.
Debra: So, that was a little weird last night.
Dexter: No- yeah- well, it was dark. My eyes hadn't adjusted. All I could see were shadows.
Debra: Well, please put those shadows out of your mind.
LaGuerta: Do you have any back-up?
Doakes: Oh, yeah. All kinds of back-up. Helicopters and shit.
Angel: You're the lone hold out. Every other suspect has a criminal past, and not just any criminal past. They were all linked to murder.
Woman: Oscar never murdered anybody!
Angel: Then why was he killed?
Woman: I don't know! Maybe he found out who the serial killer is!
Angel: Oh, okay. So, your husband is an engineer, and a secret crime fighter?
Debra: So, how'd your social appointment go last night?
Lundy: Oh. You know.
Debra: I took your advice.
Lundy: My advice?
Debra: Go out. Have some fun. Got laid. Big time.
Lundy: Oh. Well.
Debra: Oh. I mean, I don't usually go out to the gym and pick up strangers.
Lundy: The gym? [laughs]
Debra: Really, you have to save me here, or I'm gonna go outside and shoot myself.
Lundy: And then way you're going, you'd probably miss.
Debra: ... Thanks.
Lundy: My date was horrible. I picked her up, and I don't know Miami, of course, and I got completely lost, and she was chattering away the whole time about this Yogi master I just have to meet so by the time we even got to the restaurant I was tearing my hair out.
Debra: Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Lundy: No, it was good. It was a reminder that, uh, I shouldn't be dating.
Debra: Course you should be.
Lundy: No. It all comes down to simple mathematics. A really beautiful relationship is a once in a lifetime thing. And I've already had mine.
Pascal: Masuka, up front.
Masuka: [to Dexter] Oh no, it's that crazy witch.
[Pascal has started crying over her fiancée's shirt.]
Dexter: This is the kind of thing that makes me glad I have no feelings. As they always say, "never take your dirty laundry to work".
[Doakes is in the middle of a stand-off with Curtis.]
Doakes: We can stand here all fucking day, I don't give a fuck, but you gonna put that gun down.
Doakes: You got it wrong, man. I left her.
Curtis: And why was that?
Doakes: Because I was afraid that if I didn't, I'd kill her.
Lila: Are you gonna tell me how you're doing?
Dexter: I'm fine.
Lila: C'mon, Dex. Open up.
Dexter: I'm very fine?
Lila: What's going on inside your head? What are you thinking?
Dexter: I'm afraid we're done - you and I.
Lila: Serious? You're breaking up with me?
Dexter: Actually, I don't think I wanna answer any more questions.
[Dexter stands outside the morgue.]
Dexter: [thoughts] There it is. Like a gigantic white whale. My Moby Dick.
Angel: Man, this heat. I can't take it. I've gotta get in my car before I fucking melt.
Dexter: [thoughts] Which is exactly what needs to happen to my dearly departed friends.
Lila: I think you should give me another chance.
Dexter: There's nothing you can do to help me. It's not even you. It's me. I am who I am, and nobody's gonna change that.
Lila: Whatever you think you are - you don't have to be that.
Dexter: That's where you're wrong.
Lila: Stop judging yourself! There are no absolutes. No-one's all good, or evil.
Dexter: You're just gonna have to trust me on this.
Lila: Jesus, Dexter, what are you so fucking scared of!? You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bare responsibility for what you do! "Ah, I can't help it, I'm a monster," or, "Of course I was gonna do that - I'm a monster." It's sad! And it's pathetic! And it breaks my heart.
Dexter: You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe that people are evil?
[Lila shakes her head.]
Dexter: I'll show you evil.

[Lila looks at some of the Bay Harbor Butcher's victims.]

Lila: It's... incredible.
Dexter: But the person who did this-
Lila: Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil.
Dexter: [thoughts] I thought I closed the door for anybody ever seeing me for who I am. But, this woman sees me. She doesn't know it, but she's looking behind the mask, and she's not turning away.
[Dexter spins Cody around.]
Gail: He's good for you.
Rita: I know. I got lucky.
Gail: Quite an actor. He's hiding something. I'm sure of it.
Dexter: For the first time, I feel that the future might hold something different for me. It's possible I'm just fooling myself, but I'm willing to take the risk.
Dexter: It's an odd sensation to be experiencing what might be called "hope" for the first time in my life. At the same time, I find myself weighing the benefits between electrocution versus lethal injection. But here I am.

[edit] Resistance Is Futile

Dexter: (on Lila) She had me fighting with myself the whole time. All that self-reflection is unhealthy.
Dexter: (after a disturbing dream) Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism.
James Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher.
Dexter: I really hate that name.
James Doakes: Shut the fuck up. Let's get this over with. (tosses handcuffs) Put em on.
(Dexter hesitates.)
James Doakes: Morgan, you're done. Give it up.
Dexter: Would you, in my position?
James Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck.
Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.


[edit] There's Something About Harry

Dexter: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?
James Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.
Dexter: So do I. I caught you.
James Doakes: I'm not a killer.
Dexter: (chuckles) You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy?
James Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.
Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?
Dexter: My code requires a higher standard of proof than your city's laws. At zero cost to the taxpayer. If you ask me I'm a bargain.
Dexter: (voiceover) Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. I can't keep my problem locked away in a cabin forever. Harry always said there were plenty of people who deserve to die. But no matter how hard I close my eyes and wish, Doakes isn't one of them.
Rita Bennett: Maybe we could just... hang.
Dexter: Like a sloth. I can do that.
Dexter: (voiceover) I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's, how can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions.
Vince Masuoka: All those times he called me lab geek, fairywinkle, donkey fluffer. I'm just glad I took it lying down, you know?
Debra: What the fuck, Dex?
Dexter: What which fuck?
Dexter: Deb, Doakes is a lot of things, but he's not an idiot. He won't come out of the shadows because of a grudge.
Debra: Right. Cause serial killers are so practical.
Dexter: Actually they are.
Dexter: Regardless of how we got here, one of the two killers in this cabin has to go away.
James Doakes: I am not a killer.
Dexter: Right. In terms of who goes, it boiled down to a philosophical question. Which one of us has more inherent worth?
James Doakes: I know you're fucking kidding me.
Dexter: First I considered our value to the community. That was a wash. We're both loyal civil servants. We work hard to keep the city clean.
James Doakes: You cut people up into little pieces.
Dexter: Then I looked at our personal lives. And... well, it's where the differences became clearer. Strange as it may seem, I have people who depend on me. They would be devastated if they found out what I do. You, Sergeant, you're more of a lone wolf. Easier to put down. No one in the pack to miss you.
James Doakes: Fuck you. Fuck you Morgan, I have a family. I have my mother, my sisters.
Dexter: Who you never visit. Puts a pit in my stomach. That I can only interpret as... sadness. If you had a personal life you might not have made me your obsession, and we might not be here right now.
Dexter: (voiceover) Doakes said I had two choices: kill him or let him go. But he neglected to look behind Door Number 3. Hand him over to the FBI, gift-wrapped. I don't need Doakes dead, I just need his fingerprints to complete my framejob.
Dexter: (voiceover) When the Feds receive these kill tools with their suspect's prints on them, the only threat to me will be the inane rants of a murderous madman. So close I can feel it. This tragic tale might still end in Doakes' demise, but not by my hands. Harry's legacy will remain intact.
Dexter: Don't test me, Sergeant. I could have killed you. I didn't.
James Doakes: You didn't because you can't. I've had time to think about this, Morgan. I don't fit that code you were talking about, do I? At first I thought the Butcher only went after criminals because nobody gives a goddamn what happens to them. But now... now I think you got a conscience.
Dexter: Of course I have a conscience. I left you a place to shit, didn't I? It's a small conscience.
Dexter: I'm sure Special Ops taught you to rattle your captor but I should warn you, Sergeant. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any.
James Doakes: Oh really. Who's lying now?
James Doakes: You're not gonna do what I think you are.
Dexter: There's no point in hiding it now, Sergeant. Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck.
(Dexter prepares to dismember his latest victim.)
James Doakes: Morgan, goddamn it, you got a conscience man, you said it yourself! You go after killers, you take out killers, I get that. But this, this is some sick fuck ritual, man, you need help. Let me help you, man.
Dexter: Don't worry, Sergeant. I won't make you watch. I'm not uncivilized.
Dexter: (voiceover) It was me. The idea of a code was one thing, a grand idea, a noble cause. But the reality of it... Harry walked in on what he created. And he couldn't live with himself.
James Doakes: What, Morgan? What now?
Dexter: I killed my father.


[edit] Left Turn Ahead

Dexter: (voiceover) I always thought hardening arteries squeezed the life out of my father. But it was me. Harry gazed into the eyes of his creation and saw evil, pure and simple. My evil. It killed him.
James Doakes: That shit about your father. You wanna talk about it?
Dexter: About what? That my life is one tragic mistake?
James Doakes: We've all felt that at one time or another. I know I have.
Dexter: Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point?
Dexter: (voiceover) Harry's heart gave out when he saw what's inside me. He thought he could tame it, give it a purpose, help it find a place in the natural order. Guess he was wrong.
Dexter: (voiceover) It won't be long now. I can hang this on Doakes and then... then what? Years of trials and appeals. With him pointing his finger and calling me killer. For such a neat monster I'm making an awfully big mess.
Dexter: (voiceover) I'm the helpful handyman. How evil can I possibly be?
Dexter: In the long run it would be easier on Deb. Rita. Better than watching me dragged in like an animal. Which, let's face it, will happen. Someday.
Dexter: If I do this I need a day to get my affairs in order.
James Doakes: That's fine. Tie me up, throw me in the trunk, come on, let's go.
Dexter: I really enjoyed our conversations, James. I lie to everyone I know. Except my victims, right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. Sorry about the cage.


[edit] The British Invasion

Dexter: (voiceover) Sleep, what a concept. I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in. This is so much better than a prison cell. I can squeeze fresh orange juice. Savor a fine French roast. Grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison. But still. I'm free.
Lila: What do you think I wanted?
Dexter: To know what it's like. To feel something, that deeply. Anything. That's why you hang out in recovery groups. You're emotionally colorblind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior. But the feelings never come to pass.
Lila: It's not true.
Dexter: It is, Lila. You know the dictionary definition of emotions. Longing, joy, sorrow. But you have no idea what any of those things actually feel like.
Dexter: (voiceover) Not long ago I had a dream that people could see me for what I am. And for a brief instant in time, the world actually saw my bodies of work. Some even cheered. But as it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. Sorry, James.
I think Harry knew that from the start. That's why he gave me a code. It cost him his life, but it kept me alive through incredible trials. The code is mine now, and mine alone. So too are the relationships I cultivate.
They're not just disguises anymore. I need them. Even if they make me vulnerable. My father might not approve but I'm no longer his disciple. I'm a master now. An idea transcended into life.
And so this is my new path. Which is a lot like the old one, only mine. To stay on that path I need to work harder, explore new rituals, evolve. Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. Does anyone?

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