Dexter (TV series)

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Dexter (2006-) is a television series starring, airing on Showtime about a serial killer with standards who works for the Miami Metro Police Department as a blood-spatter analyst.

[edit] Season 1

[edit] Dexter [1.01]

Dexter: [voiceover] Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again and again. It has to happen.

Mike Donovan: I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.

Dexter: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children? I could never do that. Not like you. Never … ever … kids.

Mike Donovan: Why?

Dexter: I have standards.

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster.

Dexter: [voiceover] Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge. Other times it helps me control the chaos.

Dexter: [voiceover] There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!

Maria LaGuerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?

Dexter: I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane?

Dexter: [voiceover about the doll parts in his freezer] I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" And yes, I want to play. I really, really do.

Detective Sergeant Angel Juan Marcos Batista: Left the tits and took off with head.

[edit] Crocodile [1.02]

Dexter: [voiceover] I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure … I'm totally lost.

Dexter: We have an elephant in the room, and its name is sex.

Rita: [laughs weakly] Tell me about it.

Dexter: Hey, as far as I'm concerned, it can just stay in the corner and mind its own damn business.

Rita: [softly] Easier said than done.

Dexter: Yeah, [gently brushes her hair back] but it needs to be right, for both of us. Or, it won't be right for either of us. I don't want that, do you?

Rita: No. [pause] You know, [hugs Dexter tightly] I can't believe I found the one good truly decent man left on the planet.

Debra: Watching ice melt. This is fun.

Vince Masuka: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.

Angel Batista: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!

Dexter: Huh?

Vince Masuka: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.

Debra: Yeah, from vine to vine

Maria LaGuerta: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

Dexter: [voiceover] My sister puts up a front so people won't know how vulnerable she really is. Me? I put up a front so people won't know how vulnerable I'm not.

Dexter: [voiceover] The worst thing about finally putting together a puzzle is finding there are missing pieces. He came back and left nothing behind but a message: "Come find me", and I will. There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

[edit] Popping Cherry [1.03]

Dexter: [voiceover] Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people. It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I'm a killer. Really, I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake. In those cases, shades come in handy.

Debra: I'm real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. How are you holding up?

Dexter: I'm managing. [voiceover] No, I'm not. Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours is a real chore.

[In response to a description of the Bronco]

Dexter: Many times in life I feel like I'm missing some essential piece of the human puzzle. This is one of them.

[At the ice hockey rink]

Dexter: [voiceover] I knew he'd be back. It feels like Christmas morning. [approaches the body in net] Look at that, a miracle on ice. Stunning.

Angel Batista: You all right, Dexter?

Dexter: This is like a dream. [confused look from Angel] Standing on the home ice of the Miami Blades?

Harry Morgan: When you take a man's life, you're not just killing him. You're snuffing out all the things that he might become. As a cop, I only fire my weapon to save a life – that's a code I live by. Killing must serve a purpose. Otherwise, it's just plain murder.

Dexter: Harry taught me that death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. He taught me that none of us are who we appear to be on the outside. But we must maintain appearances to survive. But there was something Harry didn't teach me. Something he didn't know, couldn't possibly know. The willful taking of life represents the ultimate disconnect from humanity. It leaves you an outsider, forever looking in, searching for company to keep.

[edit] Let's Give the Boy a Hand[1.04]

Dexter: Human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport.

Dexter: I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend – all part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

Dexter: Everyone hides who they are at least some of their time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply that you have to be reminded it's there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are all together.

Dexter: Harry was the only one who saw me, really saw me. So he taught me to hide and that's what's kept me safe. But sometimes I'm not sure where Harry's vision of me ends and where the real me starts. If I'm just a collection of learned behaviors, bits and pieces of Harry, maybe my new friend is right. Maybe I am a fraud.

Dexter: [voiceover] I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I'm Dexter. Boo.

[edit] Love American Style [1.05]

[Dexter is staring off into space at a crime scene]

Dexter: [voiceover] I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague … whatever. No one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be … freeing.

Doakes: Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work!

Officer Gerard: Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked.

Mindy: So, are you going to go to the spring formal?

Teenage Dexter: Why would I want to do that?

[Hurt, Mindy leaves]

Harry Morgan: She wanted you to ask her to the dance, Dexter.

Teenage Dexter: That's not what she said.

Harry Morgan: Well, you have to learn their signals.

Teenage Dexter: Yeah, well, I don't really care about girls.

Harry Morgan: Oh.

Teenage Dexter: I just like being alone.

Harry Morgan: But most normal people don't, and it's important that you seem normal.

Teenage Dexter: Even though I'm not.

Harry Morgan: Because you're not.

Angel: Don't go down that emotion road, just go down on her. She'll be distracted.

Dexter: [Packing supplies for a kill] "Be prepared" – that's my motto. The Boy Scouts and I have that in common. Of course, there's no merit badge for tonight's outing.

[edit] Return to Sender[1.06]

[Examining the body of one of Dexter's victims, Valerie Castillo]

Vince Masuka: If she was killed here, which I doubt, whoever did it was a real pro.

Dexter: [voiceover] Under normal circumstances, I'd take that as a compliment.

Harry Morgan: Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything goes wrong.

Dexter: [voiceover] Nothing lasts forever. Just ask a Ford Pinto. Eventually, most serial killers get caught. There's really not much of a retirement plan; but, it can't end like this; it's too soon; I'm not ready.

Debra: The guy's missing body parts because of this Ice-Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me!

Doakes' Mother: That's because men only think with one body part, and that one was not cut off.

Angel Batista: Sounds like she got what she had coming to her. Personally, I'd like to shake the guy's hand.

Dexter:[Voiceover] Sure, you say that now...

Dexter: Rita will be devastated if I'm arrested. Her husband was a crack-head and her boyfriend's a serial killer. It's kinda hard not to take that personally.

[edit] Circle of Friends [1.07]

Dexter: The FBI estimates that there are less that 50 serial killers active in the United States today. We don't get together at conventions, share trade secrets, or exchange Christmas cards … but sometimes I wonder what it's like for the others.

Dexter: When'd you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for?

Rita: Well, I always knew it was there. I guess I just didn't think I deserved better – until I met you.

[Long pause]

Dexter: I have a dark side, too. [Rita laughs] What? I do.

Rita: Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You're not like Paul; you don't hurt people.

Dexter: [another pause] Innocent people. I don't hurt innocent people.

Dexter: The Ice-Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies, and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry, on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.

Debra: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.

Dexter: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.

Debra: How do you know?

Dexter: [pause] Because it is pathetic.

Dexter: [voiceover about Neil Perry] Actually, it sounds perfectly awful. For weeks I felt like a student at a master class. Is it really possible that the master's on the run? Or even more tragic, that he lives in a double-wide?

Dexter: [voiceover about Paul] He might be a crack-addled, wife-abusing yahoo, but he refuses to abandon his kids. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Rita: [about Paul] Fucking bastard!

Dexter: Only you could make those words cute.

Dexter: You killed again. I told you, I warned you. Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. Why did you do it?

Jeremy Downs: To feel something different.

Dexter: Different than what? What do you normally feel?

Jeremy Downs: Nothing. Fucking nothing at all. I hate every fucking goddamn second of it. I can't stand it – living my life in my head.

Dexter: Does killing make it better?

Jeremy Downs: No. Worse. Fucking worse than ever.

Dexter: I'm a lot like you, you know.

Jeremy Downs: [scoffs] Yeah, right. You're a killer?

Dexter: [gives him a look] I'm empty. But I found a way to make it feel less … bottomless.

Jeremy Downs: How?

Dexter: Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

[edit] Shrink Wrap [1.08]

Dexter: [at a crime scene] What are we looking at here?

Angel Batista: I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?

Dexter: Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?

Angel Batista: Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?

Dexter: I like seafood.

Angel Batista: Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others.

Dexter: [voiceover] The three suicide sisters shared the same therapist, Dr. Emmett Meridian. He must be terrible at his job.

Scott Solomon: Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me … so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?

Dexter: I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.

Scott Solomon: Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?

Dexter: Girlfriend.

Scott Solomon: Lucky girl.

Dexter: [voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.

Dexter: [voiceover] I can't have sex with Rita. Every time I sleep with a woman, she sees me for what I really am. Empty. Then she's gone. But I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this. [pause] I can't kill Meridian yet – I need another therapy session.

Dexter: I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.

Dr. Emmett Meridian: Okay.

Dexter: I'm a serial killer. [pause] Oh God. That feels … so amazing to say out loud.

Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.

Dexter: I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again. [pause] You should try it. I know — your big bad wolf has racked up a tidy little death toll.

Dexter: [to Dr. Emmett Meridian in the kill room] You're awake. Shall we analyze your dreams?

[edit] Father Knows Best [1.09]

Dexter: I know the truth, because Harry always told me the truth. He had to, he was teaching me principles. A Code. He knew what I would become without it.

[edit] Seeing Red [1.10]

Debra: [eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.

Doakes: I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.

Debra: Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.

Doakes: It started out vanilla.

Doakes: Morgan, get your ass over here.

Dexter: Ass en route.

Debra: Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.

Dexter: Okay.

Debra: I'm serious.

Dexter: Okay.

Doakes: She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there.

Dexter: Okay …

[Examining a jar of blood received in the mail]

Assistant: Maybe you should open it.

Dexter: What if there's an airborne toxin in here waiting to be released?

Assistant: I've got to wash my hands. [rushes past]

Dexter: So gullible.

Dexter: Marina View Hotel. It's a key. Maybe some sort of promotional gag – stay the weekend, get a free jar of blood.

Dexter: My sister's right, I don't share my problems with her. Or with anybody. Harry taught me that. Secrecy, self-reliance … and a well-stocked cupboard of Hefty bags.

Rudy: I mean, Deb's hot and all, but sprinkle in a little conversation once in a while, you know?

Dexter: Well, she's my sister. I don't know.

[After stuffing Paul into the trunk of his car]

Rita: Where were you?

Dexter: Taking out the trash.

Dexter: So this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it, it's only fair that I should know what the fuss is all about. He left me this room for a reason. Five women gave their blood, their lives for this moment. There's only one way to find out why.

[edit] Truth Be Told [1.11]

Dexter: I've never had much use for the concept of Hell, but if Hell exists, I'm in it. The same images running through my head over and over. I was there. I saw my mother's death. A buried memory forgotten all these years. It climbed inside me that day, and it's been with me every since. My Dark Passenger.

Doakes: You just found out that somebody who's supposed to be your friend is going to live. Does that make you feel anything? Anything at all? [grabbing Dexter's shoulder]

Dexter: Take your fucking hand off me.

[Cold silence]

Doakes: Just what I always thought.

Rudy/Brian: [while gift-wrapping dismembered parts] Deck the halls with parts of bodies, fa la la la la, la la la la.

[Finding the article of the massacre]

Dexter: No wonder I felt so disconnected my entire life. If I did have emotions, I'd have to feel this.

Dexter: [voiceover] Thinking Rudy attacked Batista doesn't make any sense. He's a loving boyfriend, he spends his life helping people in need. He brought me steaks. [lock-picking attempt thwarted] Now, that's just rude. Why would loving and helpful Rudy need an industrial-grade lock? And a security camera?

[Digging through Rudy's trash]

Dexter: [voiceover] At times like this, I wish the truth was more easily accessible and less … ripe.

Rudy/Brian: Debra Morgan, will you marry me?

Debra: I knew it, I fucking knew it!

Rudy/Brian: Is that your version of a yes?

Rudy/Brian: You know the one thing I've been dying to ask you? How did you not know who I was? You're a cop.

Debra: This isn't funny.

Rudy/Brian: I think a real cop would at least have a sense she was in the presence of the person she was hunting.

[edit] Born Free [1.12]

Dexter: I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.

Debra: [sobbing] This isn't you.

Rudy/Brian: Pretty sure it is.

Debra: No, no there's more. I've seen it.

Rudy/Brian: I never wanted to hurt you.

Debra: I know. I know.

Rudy/Brian: [pause] Does this make it easier for you? Because I can keep going.

Dexter: [breaking into shipping yard, voiceover] No cameras, no patrols, no dogs. With billions spent on homeland security, it can't be easy as a couple of snips. [cuts padlocked chain and walks in] So much for the War on Terror.

Dexter: [voiceover] Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized.

Dexter: [at the shipping yard, voiceover] I don't like this place. Something nameless was born here, something that lives in the deepest darkest hole of the thing called Dexter.

Rudy/Brian: I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.

Dexter: Sorry.

Rudy/Brian: You don't ever have to apologize to me, Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.

Rudy/Brian: Looks just like it used to, doesn't it?

Dexter: Who does it belong to?

Rudy/Brian: Me. I got it for you, actually.

Dexter: I'm really more an apartment person.

Rudy/Brian: Your victims. Are they all killers?

Dexter: Yes.

Rudy/Brian: Harry teach you that?

Dexter: He taught me a code. To survive.

Rudy/Brian: Like an … absurd avenger?

Dexter: That's not why I kill.

Rudy/Brian: You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?

Dexter: A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.

Rudy/Brian: You can be that way too.

Dexter: But the code …

Rudy/Brian: [laughs] Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep – keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy Fucking Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.

Dexter: I don't know who I am.

Rudy/Brian: 'Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.

Dexter: I can't. Not Deb …

Rudy/Brian: No – no, don't say that.

Dexter: I'm very … fond of her.

Rudy/Brian: You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!

Rita: Deb must be a mess. I mean, falling for a serial killer?

Dexter: What are the odds?

Rita: You might even find I can handle the truth.

Dexter: [voiceover] I wish that was the case.

Dexter: [voiceover] Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for everything inside me that's denied and unknown to be revealed. But I'll never know. I live my life in hiding. My survival depends on it.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] It's Alive! [2.01]

Dexter: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again, and again. Has to happen. It's not what I want. But what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike.

[Dexter bowls]

Dexter: Although a spare will do.

Masuka: Keep your mind limber.

Dexter: I'm doing mental jumping jacks.

Dexter: I'm on edge. Thirty-eight days, sixteen hours, and twelve minutes have passed since I killed my brother. In that entire time, I haven't had a single night to myself. Sergeant Doakes makes sure of that. He follows me everywhere now. A human bloodhound incited by the scent of darkness. My best hope of losing him is to act relentlessly normal. Dull. So I bowl. What's really disturbing is that I'm good at it.

Dexter: [thoughts] With Doakes following me, my life has been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit playdates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed.

Angel: Don't forget! Tell the universe what you really need!

Dexter: [thoughts] I really need … to kill somebody.

Dexter: I come here to dump bodies, not beer bottles. Now I'm just a litter bug.

Dexter: Maybe I took pity on him. Yeah, he's a killer, but he also bumps into walls.

Dexter: Hey, Sergeant. Thanks for supporting the bowling team.

Doakes: Fuck you.

Doakes: So, titty site?

Dexter: Oops. You caught me.

Doakes: Bullshit. What were you really doing in here?

Dexter: [pointing to the laptop screen] The tits are right there.

Doakes: Yeah. But in ten years, you've never rented a single porn title.

[Deciding on who gets to inspect the body]

Masuka: All right, call it – heads or tails?

Dexter: Heads.

[Dexter goes to see the body]

Masuka: I didn't flip yet!

Dexter: You said call it.

Dexter: That girl's gonna need more than crayons to set her world right. Killing Little Chino would restore my world, too. But only if the Code of Harry is satisfied.

Dexter: You've been benched?

Debra: Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.

Dexter: Wow... You're chipper

Dexter: With a witness, Little Chino will never reach my "cutting court room".

[Dexter packs away several killing tools while on the phone to Rita]

Dexter: I need your help. I know how much you were looking forward to going out tonight, but I think Deb could use you more.

Rita: Dexter, this … isn't about this morning, is it?

Dexter: No, no! I swear! This is about Deb. She had her first day at work today, and LaGuerta was kind of rough on her.

[Debra knocks on the door]

Debra: Dexter, unlock the door.

Dexter: [to Rita] Hold on. [to Debra] Hold on!

Debra: Dexter, come on! Dexter, open the fucking door!

Dexter: [to Rita] See, she's yelling at me now. Look, I'm no expert, but I think Deb could use some girl time tonight.

Rita: Well, I won't lie. I'm a little disappointed. But, I know your heart's in the right place.

[Dexter puts a butcher's knife in a bag]

Dexter: Absolutely.

Dexter: Some gangs earn teardrops of blood by killing. I understand – we all need our keepsakes. One man's tattoos are another man's blood slides.

[Little Chino escapes from Dexter]

Dexter: Thirty-nine days, twenty-two hours and eighteen minutes since I killed my brother. I am cursed.

[edit] Waiting to Exhale [2.02]

Dexter: I'm drifting. I finally get a chance to kill and I can't do it. I get a second chance and he gets away. And now all my secrets are floating to the surface. Where is the orderly controlled effective Dexter? Where did I lose him? How do I find him again? I'm drifting. But not to sleep.

Masuka: Eight confirmed.

Dexter: Eight confirmed? Here?

Angel: No. Here is just one.

Masuka: We're talking eight confirmed victims of the Bay Harbor Butcher.

Dexter: The Bay Harbor … Butcher?

Masuka: That's what the press is calling whoever dumped those bodies off shore. Has a nice ring to it, no?

Dexter: Well, it's a little … lurid.

Angel: Lurid and possibly wrong. Part of me's hoping they found the Ice Truck Killer's dumping ground.

Dexter: Tell me about it. Last thing Miami needs is another serial killer.

[About a dead body]

Angel: First she's a messenger –

Doakes: Now she's a god damn message.

[Dexter stares at the dead body]

Doakes: Why don't you take a picture, Morgan? It'll last longer.

Dexter: What would I do without you, Sergeant?

Dexter: I have to focus. Tune everything out. If I don't, being linked to my beautiful bodies of work will be the least of my worries.

[Dexter was about to hit Doakes with a torch]

Doakes: Go ahead. Try it. I've been waiting.

Dexter: This neighbourhood? [shines the torch on himself] It's full of crazies. I'd lock my doors.

Debra: Bathroom's all yours.

Dexter: Eh. Kind of always was.

Dexter: I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.

Rita: [on the phone] No, no. Calm is what I was thirty minutes ago. Pissed is what I am now.

Doakes: Any idea who the FBI's sending?

Angel: Some guy named Lundy.

Doakes: Frank Lundy? He's a rock star. The Green River Killer; the DC Sniper; the case was impossible – he broke it.

LaGuerta: Now, James, you should do whatever you can to get on Lundy's task force. It's a career maker.

Angel: Hey. Just visualise that door of opportunity just opening up wide for you, and just … walk right through it.

Doakes: Angel, you keep up with this woo-woo shit, I'ma walk right through you.

Dexter: Little Chino,shit. He is officially the highest point in all of Florida.

Dexter: Red rover, red rover, send Chino back over.

Masuka: I bet you this guy never expected his work to see the light of day.

Dexter: I bet you're right.

Dexter: Still, it can't be easy to hide a body nowadays.

Masuka: Are you shitting me?

Dexter: Hypothetical. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher. How do you make sure that disposed bodies stay disposed?

Masuka: Tons of options. Everglades. Alligators. Pig farms. Sulphuric acid. Woodchipper. Incinerator. Hell, even meat pies.

Lundy: Hello, everyone. There is no such thing as the perfect crime. Not in my experience, anyway.

Lundy: So, let's get a jump start on the Bay Harbor Butcher. A moniker which, by the way, repulses me.

Dexter: [thoughts] Well, we have something in common.

[Images of dismembered body parts are shown]

Lundy: First report from the field had these parts as coming from one body.

Dexter: [thoughts] Actually, it's two.

Lundy: Actually, it's two.

Dexter: [thoughts] Uh-oh.

Lundy: There's been speculation that this human harvest is connected to a case we recently solved. But there are several inconsistencies between the two sets of body parts. Gender. Exhanguination. Specific methods of dissection.

Dexter: [thoughts] Not to mention my guys deserved it.

Dexter: I can't afford to lose it. Not with Special Agent Rock Star on my case.

[Officer gives Dexter a tranquilizer gun]

Officers: Some 'gators giving you trouble, Dex?

Dexter: They, uh, they ate my puppy.

Dexter: Come on, don't get the shakes now. This is no time for performance anxiety.

Angel: You want me to knock on some doors?

Doakes: Or maybe some heads?

[Debra nearly trips over a suitcase]

Debra: What fucking asshole left this here!?

Lundy: It's Special Agent Fucking Asshole. Morgan, right?

Doakes: Excuse me, sir, do you have a minute?

Lundy: Or three. Good tea takes time.

Dexter: I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I'm not even sure what the picture should be.

[Angel knocks on a door]

Angel: Miami Metro. May we talk to you?

Woman: Go to Hell!

Angel: Okay. But, before we do that, ma'am, can I ask you a few questions?

Woman: How many is a few?

Debra: Uh, three. But one's a two-parter.

Woman: Go away before I call the police!

Debra: We are the fucking police!

Woman: I ain't talking to no one with language like that!

Angel: Let's look at the bright side.

Debra: What bright side?

Angel: Karmically, we're batting a thousand. There's something balancing about that kind of consistency.

[Dexter enters a church]

Dexter: If I believed in God, if I believe in sin, this is the place where I'd be sucked straight to Hell. If I believed in Hell.

Priest: I'm sorry for your loss.

Dexter: Thank you, father.

Brian: I'm not sorry.

Dexter: You're still here.

Brian: Never left.

Dexter: Yeah, you did. I killed you.

Brian: No. You just took my life.

Dexter: So, how do I make you go away?

Brian: Hm. Well, you could try doing what these people are doing.

Dexter: I'm not like them.

Brian: Well, if it helps, I can tell you that it's not your fault. What you did to me.

Dexter: I never said it was.

Brian: But you feel it.

Dexter: How do you know that?

Brian: It's human nature.

Dexter: I'm not human.

Brian: No. You're just fucked up.

Dexter: I need to let you go.

Brian: You think it's as simple as that?

Dexter: Nothing's simple.

[Pushing Little Chino's body on a cart]

Dexter: It was simple really. All I had to do was put myself into the mind of a killer. Hardly a stretch.

Little Chino: What the fuck are you?

Dexter: Well, that kind of talk is gonna bring you closer to your victims.

Little Chino: Why are you doing this to me?

Dexter: I'm not so much as doing it to you, as I'm doing it for me.

Little Chino: You kill me … what do you leave behind?

Dexter: A world without you.

[Dexter holds a knife above Little Chino]

Dexter: Look at that – steady as a surgeon.

Rita: Are you an addict?

Dexter: Yes. I have an addiction.

Debra: I saw some buildings with "for rent" signs. I'm gonna check 'em out. Then, Chez Dexter can return to its original, museum-like quality state.

Dexter: Deb, you don't need to do this.

Debra: Yes, I do.

Dexter: You don't need to do this now.

Debra: Well, what about the video tours of eligible apartments?

Dexter: Temporary insanity.

Debra: You sure?

Dexter: No. Get out.

[edit] An Inconvenient Lie [2.03]

Addict: I don't need them for the pain anymore. I just … need them.

Dexter: [thoughts] And I need duct tape. Three or four rolls. Running low on heavy duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives?

Dexter: No self control, lost everything, trying to stop; same whiny story over and over for …

[Dexter checks his watch.]

Dexter: Ten minutes? Feels like ten hours.

Addict: I'd kill for a Vicodin.

Dexter: [thoughts] Lightweight.

Dexter: Hold the elevator!

[Dexter gets his arm into the elevator doors as they close. The elevator opens and he enters. Doakes is in there]

Dexter: Thanks.

Doakes: Nice dodge last night, flooring it through that yellow light.

Dexter: Oh. Were you behind me?

Doakes: See you tonight.

Masuka: The boss's watermelons look bigger on TV.

LaGuerta: The operative word is "boss" – show some respect.

Masuka: I thought I was.

Dexter: I go to stalk a killer, and I end up with a new car. How'd that happen?

LaGuerta: New car?

Dexter: Yeah.

LaGuerta: You get married?

Dexter: Not that I know of.

Masuka: Who's your daddy?

Dexter: … Uh, Harry Morgan?

Masuka: Say it.

Dexter: … You're my daddy?

Masuka: Sounds weird when you say it.

Lila: So tell me. Exactly how full of shit are you?

Dexter: I'm not full of anything.

Lila: It was a nice performance in there. Where did you download it from? Addict.com?

Dexter: I have no reason to lie.

Lila: Sure you do. We all do.

Dexter: You thought I was lying?

Lila: I dunno, Bob.

Dexter: Well, it is anonymous.

Lila: Everyone in that room has heard, or lived, far worse than anything you've ever done.

Dexter: I doubt it.

Lila: Oh! So you're Super Junkie.

Dexter: I don't mean to imply that what you've been through hasn't been difficult.

Lila: But there's no way that I could know what you've experienced, right? I couldn't possibly feel that need. Like a thousand hiding voices whispering "this is who you are". And you fight the pressure. The growing need rising like a wave. Prickling and teasing and prodding to be fed. But the whispering gets louder, until they're screaming "now!" And it's the only voice you hear. The only voice you want to hear. And you belong to it. To this … shadow self. To this …

Dexter: Dark Passenger.

Lila: Yes. The Dark Passenger.

Dexter: Two women are dead, the killer is selling mini-vans, and I have an opportunity to prove it. Even if I am laying low. Having a victim prepped and ready will take the edge off the weight. I hope.

Dexter: DNA, DNA, come out and play.

Woman: Uh oh. Roger's got you in the box. Once you're in the box, you don't leave without a deal.

Dexter: … Uh oh.

Woman: Don't worry, you're safe with Roger. He's the best. I'm just dropping off this "thank you" note.

Dexter: I was just leaving.

Woman: He sent you across the street, didn't he?

Dexter: Cross the street?

Woman: It's okay, he told me not to tell anyone either. Yeah, I don't know how he makes a living sending his commissions to other dealers.

Dexter: Maybe he has ulterior motives.

Woman: Or maybe he knows I can't afford his price.

Dexter: After he ran a credit check?

Woman: TRW doesn't lie.

Dexter: So, you're single?

Woman: [awkwardly] Yeah.

Dexter: Makes it tougher to afford those big ticket items like cars and houses. You rent an apartment?

Woman: A house. Yeah, I hate sharing walls. You can hear everything.

Dexter: Tell me about it. No pets, though, right?

Woman: Is this a come on? 'Cause it's a little weird.

Dexter: Must be why I'm still single.

Dexter: Roger's DNA matches the semen found at both crime scenes. Irrefutable. If I do nothing, then another woman dies. Is that my long, dormant conscience talking, or the Dark Passenger whispering?

Debra: It's been 24 hours since I asked to be replaced.

Lundy: … Has it?

Debra: What's taking so long? Every cop on the damn force wants in on this case. Just take your pick.

Lundy: I've been wondering about that, actually. Everyone wants on but, you want off.

Debra: I told you. I have cases.

Lundy: I don't think so.

Debra: Fuck's sake. Jesus, I don't wanna be on your task force, all right?

Lundy: Why?

Debra: Because I'm the last person in the world that should be on it. You want me to find a serial killer? I was engaged to one, for Christ's sake. What kind of cop – what kind of –

Lundy: That's why I chose you, you know. Because of what you went through. You survived. I don't know how. I can't begin to imagine the strength it took. Continues to take. More than that, you got a first hand look into the mind and heart of a killer. And you're still here. If you can accept that – really accept it – you could use it. Mix that with some of your strength and you can catch someone even worse than the Ice Truck Killer. But you have to stop running. Finish today's interviews. And if you still want out, you got it.

Masuka: Lead fucking investigator. Translation – everyone's bitch. I do have a life, you know.

Dexter: You do?

Masuka: The fucking Bay Habour Butcher is butchering up my own social life.

[Masuka leaves the room]

Dexter: Sorry.

[Dexter walks out the police station]

Doakes: Mini-van's that way.

Dexter: Field morgue's this way.

Doakes: I'll wait.

Dexter: You should take the night off, Sergeant.

Doakes: On pizza night? No way.

Doakes: What does that girlfriend of yours see in a freak show like you anyway?

Dexter: You'll have to ask her.

Doakes: Maybe I will.

Dexter: Doakes thinks he knows my secrets. But he only needs to look at this – my body of work – to know the real me.

Dexter: Are you hoping they'll talk to you?

Lundy: The one's with heads anyway. They always speak, eventually. Just gotta ask the right question.

Dexter: Which is?

Lundy: Why were they chosen?

Dexter: You looking for a pattern?

Lundy: One doesn't kill this many people in this careful, methodical way without a reason. Some … twisted set of principles.

Dexter: They would have to be twisted, wouldn't they?

Lundy: The worst killers in history are usually the one's who think the murders were somehow … just. Even deserved. Leaders have slaughtered whole populations for the same warped reason.

Dexter: But there's never any justification for killing.

Lundy: No. Well, one, of course. To save an innocent life.

Dexter: To save an innocent life.

Dexter: How many more bodies would there have been had I not got to those killers? I didn't want to save lives, but save lives I did. Motivation aside, I think Harry and Lundy would agree on this one.

Dexter: Roger the Artful Dodger.

Roger: Jesus! You scared me, bro.

Dexter: We have some unfinished business.

Roger: Oh, yeah, right, the warranty and stuff. Listen, uh, I can't write you up right now, I've got the wife waiting for me.

Dexter: You're not married.

Roger: Ex-wife. I gotta take the kids.

Dexter: You don't have kids.

Roger: Step-kids. They're hers.

Dexter: Nope.

Roger: Okay, how about this one – I don't give a shit.

[Dexter starts choking Roger]

Dexter: Neither do I.

[Dexter throws Roger into the back of the mini-van]

Dexter: You were right about the ample cargo space.

Roger: Where am I?

Dexter: Looks different under plastic, but you spent an evening here with Anne Cowen. You took her last breath from her right over there, you remember?

Roger: No. Y-you're wrong. I wouldn't!

Dexter: No, you would. And you did. And you were about to do it again; that's why we're here.

Roger: No, this is crazy. You got the wrong guy. I-I sell cars, for God's sake! I'd never hurt anyone in my life – definitely not a woman!

Dexter: … Why can't I do that?

Roger: Do what?

Dexter: Lie like that! I thought I was good, but you? It's … mwah.

Roger: I don't lie!

Dexter: Okay, that one was weak.

Roger: Kay, look. Pick any car on the lot. It's yours. T-bird, town car, you name it. Y-yours. Free. I'll call it in right now.

Dexter: Lots closed.

Roger: I'll have them open it up. I'm the manager. They do what I say.

Dexter: The manager's name is Rick Buxton!

Roger: Well, yeah, but I've been there longer than he has.

Dexter: You've been there three months!

Roger: At the other lot.

Dexter: Ha, ha! It's like watching someone ski moguls. You just hop from one lie to the next. No shame, no embarassment. You just don't give a shit. That's the key, right? Not to care about anyone or anything.

Roger: I care. I care a lot.

Dexter: No, it was a compliment. I don't care either.

Roger: Yes, you do. Like about your wife.

Dexter: Not married.

Roger: Girlfriend, then. Saw it the minute you walked on the lot.

Dexter: What did you see? Tell me.

Roger: Look, most guys your age, they'd beeline right for the horse power, or something. Flashy, sexy. But you. You're there all alone, no one there to nag you, and you don't even glance at the coups. The only thing you look at is the mini-van. Like you can see her in the passenger's seat, and the kids in the back.

Dexter: Leave the kids out.

Roger: See? You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care.

Dexter: She's just a companion, really. Started that way, anyway. Someone who … looks good. Normal.

Roger: They worm their way in.

Dexter: Yeah, they do. And they shut you out.

Roger: … That's what this is about? That she shut you out? Oh! Man, okay, I get it. I've been there. But you can't let her get to you like this, 'cause – 'cause they're all the same! Fucking bitches! You do everything for them, and then they fuck you! She's not worth it, all right? You're better off without that cunt!

Dexter: [enraged] Don't …

[Dexter slams his knife into Roger's chest]

Dexter: … talk that way about my girlfriend!

Dexter: I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am.

Everyone: Hi, Dexter.

Dexter: I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. Certainly don't talk about it. But it's there. Always. This … Dark Passenger. How when he's driving, I feel … alive. Half-sick with the thrill, complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even … especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because, lately, there are these moments that I feel connected to something else. Someone. It's like … the mask is slipping, and things, people, that never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

Doakes: I knew there was something wrong with you. The secrets, the sneaking around. Now it all makes sense. Lot of cops have been where you are. The booze, the drugs. Makes the job go down easier. Stay clean, and stay out of my way, and we won't have a problem.

[Doakes starts leaving]

Doakes: Oh, and you owe me a new Michelin, you motherfucker.

[edit] See-Through [2.04]

[Cody has had a nightmare]

Dexter: What was it, the big scary ghost or the alligator?

Cody: No. The Bay Harbor Butcher.

Rita: Oh, honey.

Dexter: He would never hurt you. But I'll let you in on a secret. My sister Debra, who is a secret police agent ninja warrior, said he only kills bad people. And you're not a bad person, are you?

Cody: No.

Dexter: Then you're quite safe.

Rita: [talking about the "Bay Harbor Butcher"] It makes me so angry that there's some monster out there scaring my son.

Dexter: [uncomfortable] I gotta go to work.

Rita: You know, I hope they catch him today. And I'm not a violent person, but I hope they'll hurt him. Have a good day. [kisses Dexter goodbye]

Dexter: [voiceover] Make up your mind.

Dexter: [voiceover] In our most paranoid moments, we fear that everyone is talking about us. That's become my reality.

Dexter: [voiceover] I refuse to believe that Vince Masuka is the man who single-handedly brings me down. I also know denial is the first stage of the grieving process for those who learn they're going to die.

[Dexter looks at several of Lila's art projects]

Dexter: Why are they eating each other?

Lila: Dunno. Ask them.

Lila: Do you like the heat?

Dexter: Um, not really. I'm partial to air conditioning.

Lila: Ah, I love it. Makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment.

Dexter: That's a pleasant thought.

Lila: So, if you're perfectly clean, why'd you call?

Dexter: I'm under a lot of … pressure. At work. I was hoping you could maybe give me some quick tips on how to deal with the urges.

Lila: [amused] There are no quick tips.

Dexter: Oh. I see.

[Lila steals a wind chime]

Dexter: I thought we were gonna get art supplies.

Lila: That's what we're doing. I work with found art.

Dexter: More like stolen art.

Dexter: Is that what a sponsor does on their first meeting?

Lila: I dunno. I've never sponsored anyone before.

Dexter: Really.

Dexter: You do realize that I work with the police department.

Lila: If we get caught, you can flash your badge.

Dexter: I don't have a badge – I have a laminate.

Lila: So, tell me. Why do you use?

Dexter: … Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am.

Lila: And who are you?

Dexter: I'm, uh … a bad person.

Lila: Haha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other.

Dexter: Doesn't really seem necessary.

Lila: The first step to recovery is getting to know who you are.

Dexter: I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem.

Lila: And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.

[Dexter answers the phone and hears about a case]

Dexter: I've gotta get back. Dead body.

Lila: Humph. How many times have you used that one before?

[Doakes looks at several weapons on the counter]

Doakes: Tell me that shit wasn't stolen from Saddam's palace!

LaGuerta: What are you saying?

Doakes: I'm saying – asshole special ops. No doubt about it.

Dexter: Huh. They're generally known for settling their arguments peacefully.

Doakes: Don't get smug with me.

LaGuerta: Sounds like we're in your world, James.

Doakes: Yeah, I'll take lead on this one.

Angel: Why did the killer cut 'em up like this?

Masuka: Easy disposal.

Debra: Or for fun. You don't kill this many people because it's a chore. You do it because you like it.

Pascal: I'm gonna need you to run some tests on this shirt.

Dexter: Is there blood?

Pascal: No blood.

Dexter: I'm really the blood guy.

Pascal: It's a smell. It smells like a woman.

Dexter: Which part?

Pascal: Who can identify this for me?

[Dexter looks outside the window and sees Masuka]

Dexter: Yeah, that's really Masuka's area. He's definitely your man.

Pascal: Thanks.

Dexter: Anything I can do to overburden Masuka is to my advantage. Trust me, I'm not above sending pizzas and hooker to his house in the middle of the night.

Dexter: [thoughts] I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.

[Dexter sees Gail's old fashioned clothing]

Dexter: [thoughts] You have fibres and threads unknown to us. Your ancient customs intrigue me.

Gail: So, Dexter. Tell me everything there is to know about you.

Dexter: [thoughts] You have made me your sworn enemy, evil woman.

Gail: And I see a young man who is not eating.

Cody: I'm not hungry.

Astor: He's scared the Butcher's gonna get him.

Dexter: Remember, he only gets bad people.

Cody: I was bad today. I threw a ball at Tommy Albertez.

Dexter: Well, that's not too bad. And even if it was, the Bay Harbor Butcher doesn't hurt kids.

Cody: He doesn't?

Dexter: Nah. You're safe.

Rita: When are they gonna hurry up and catch this guy?

Dexter: They're working as hard as they can.

Gail: Well, if what I've heard is true, that he only goes after criminals, I say leave him alone. He's got my seal of approval.

Dexter: [thoughts] Perhaps I have misjudged you, oh wise one.

Debra: What's it gonna be tonight? Chinese? Italian?

Lundy: Actually, I have a social appointment.

Debra: You mean, like, a date?

Lundy: I guess you could call it that.

Debra: Wow. Look at you. New in town, and already hooking up.

Lundy: It's an introduction arranged by a friend. One needs to get out and have a little fun on occasion. It's something I strongly recommend for you as well.

Debra: Yeah, but the hours we work …

Lundy: I'm serious. Make time for it. It'll help keep you better balanced.

Debra: Yes, sir.

[Debra handcuffs Gabriel to the bed post]

Gabriel: Oh, you're into the kinky stuff, huh?

Debra: No. The last guy I had sex with tried to kill me.

Dexter: "Who is the Bay Harbor Butcher?" God, this obsession with him is relentless. Just like Debra and that damn treadmill.

[The morning after Dexter walked in on Debra having sex]

Dexter: Morning.

Debra: So, that was a little weird last night.

Dexter: No – yeah – well, it was dark. My eyes hadn't adjusted. All I could see were shadows.

Debra: Well, please put those shadows out of your mind.

LaGuerta: Do you have any back-up?

Doakes: Oh, yeah. All kinds of back-up. Helicopters and shit.

Angel: You're the lone hold out. Every other suspect has a criminal past, and not just any criminal past. They were all linked to murder.

Woman: Oscar never murdered anybody!

Angel: Then why was he killed?

Woman: I don't know! Maybe he found out who the serial killer is!

Angel: Oh, okay. So, your husband is an engineer, and a secret crime fighter?

Debra: So, how'd your social appointment go last night?

Lundy: Oh. You know.

Debra: I took your advice.

Lundy: My advice?

Debra: Go out. Have some fun. Got laid. Big time.

Lundy: Oh. Well.

Debra: Oh. I mean, I don't usually go out to the gym and pick up strangers.

Lundy: The gym? [laughs]

Debra: Really, you have to save me here, or I'm gonna go outside and shoot myself.

Lundy: And the way you're going, you'd probably miss.

Debra: … Thanks.

Lundy: My date was horrible. I picked her up, and I don't know Miami, of course, and I got completely lost, and she was chattering away the whole time about this Yogi master I just have to meet so by the time we even got to the restaurant I was tearing my hair out.

Debra: Oh, God. I'm sorry.

Lundy: No, it was good. It was a reminder that, uh, I shouldn't be dating.

Debra: 'Course you should be.

Lundy: No. It all comes down to simple mathematics. A really beautiful relationship is a once in a lifetime thing. And I've already had mine.

Pascal: Masuka, up front.

Masuka: [to Dexter] Oh no, it's that crazy witch.

[Pascal has started crying over her fiancée's shirt]

Dexter: This is the kind of thing that makes me glad I have no feelings. As they always say, "never take your dirty laundry to work".

Doakes: You got it wrong, man. I left her.

Curtis: And why was that?

Doakes: Because I was afraid that if I didn't, I'd kill her.

Lila: Are you gonna tell me how you're doing?

Dexter: I'm fine.

Lila: C'mon, Dex. Open up.

Dexter: I'm very fine?

Lila: What's going on inside your head? What are you thinking?

Dexter: I'm afraid we're done – you and I.

Lila: Serious? You're breaking up with me?

Dexter: Actually, I don't think I wanna answer any more questions.

[Dexter stands outside the morgue]

Dexter: [thoughts] There it is. Like a gigantic white whale. My Moby Dick.

Angel: Man, this heat. I can't take it. I've gotta get in my car before I fucking melt.

Dexter: [thoughts] Which is exactly what needs to happen to my dearly departed friends.

Lila: I think you should give me another chance.

Dexter: There's nothing you can do to help me. It's not even you. It's me. I am who I am, and nobody's gonna change that.

Lila: Whatever you think you are – you don't have to be that.

Dexter: That's where you're wrong.

Lila: Stop judging yourself! There are no absolutes. No one's all good, or evil.

Dexter: You're just gonna have to trust me on this.

Lila: Jesus, Dexter, what are you so fucking scared of!? You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do! "Ah, I can't help it, I'm a monster," or, "Of course I was gonna do that – I'm a monster." It's sad! And it's pathetic! And it breaks my heart.

Dexter: You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe that people are evil?

[Lila shakes her head]

Dexter: I'll show you evil.

[Lila looks at some of the Bay Harbor Butcher's victims]

Lila: It's … incredible.

Dexter: But the person who did this –

Lila: Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil.

Dexter: [thoughts] I thought I closed the door for anybody ever seeing me for who I am. But, this woman sees me. She doesn't know it, but she's looking behind the mask, and she's not turning away.

[Dexter spins Cody around]

Gail: He's good for you.

Rita: I know. I got lucky.

Gail: Quite an actor. He's hiding something. I'm sure of it.

Dexter: For the first time, I feel that the future might hold something different for me. It's possible I'm just fooling myself, but I'm willing to take the risk.

Dexter: It's an odd sensation to be experiencing what might be called "hope" for the first time in my life. At the same time, I find myself weighing the benefits between electrocution versus lethal injection. But here I am.

[edit] The Dark Defender [2.05]

Debra: [drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good.

Dexter: Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra: If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.

Dexter: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter: My little sister, the cuddler.

Debra: I have a scalding hot beverage here, Dex, don't make me use it.

Dexter: I never really got the whole superhero thing. But lately, it does seem we have a lot in common – tragic beginnings … secret identities … part human, part mutant … [looking over at Doakes] archenemies.

Dexter: [voiceover] "The Dark Defender." No, Miami's too hot for all that leather.

Lila: Where did you drift off to, anyway?

Dexter: I was having this bizarre dream about my mother.

Lila: Say no more. Oedipus complex, explains a lot.

Dexter: [to the man who killed his mother] You stole my life. I'm not the person I'm supposed to be because you took someone from me.

[edit] Dex, Lies, and Videotape [2.06]

Dexter: [voiceover] The full force of the FBI, that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man, after I figure out a way to erase the marina files, and make up with my girlfriend, and then maybe I'll tackle world hunger because things can't really get much worse.

Lila: [to Dexter, after a bout of semi-rough sex] I guess we found a way to quiet the voices in your head.

Dexter: The voices are back. Excellent.

Angel: [laying a hand on Dexter's shoulder; referring to the Bay Harbor Butcher] We've never been this close to this pendejo.

Dexter: [thoughts] Closer than you think, amigo.

Debra: You're such a guy. When I get pissed I say stuff I don't mean all the time: I hate you. I faked it. You're hung like a grape.

[edit] That Night, a Forest Grew [2.07]

Doakes: You finally decided to fight back. I've been waiting.

Dexter: I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday.

Doakes: You might have been, for hell I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan.

Dexter: I guess there's no recorder running after all.

Doakes: No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open.

Dexter: Well, in that case, sergeant, let me put this in the open for you. No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.

Doakes: And what's that?

Dexter: I own you.

Debra: Who's the skank?

Dexter: Deb, did knocking occur to you?

Debra: Who is she? And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?

Dexter: Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs

[edit] Morning Comes [2.08]

[Dexter's kitchen, after the fire at Lila's loft]

Lila: Did somebody drink all the coffee again?

Debra: No, somebody didn't drink all the coffee. I had a cup and Dexter had a cup, and it just kinda went like that until the [imitating Lila's British accent] pot was empty.

Dexter: Deb …

Debra: What? Somebody didn't drink all the coffee. It's a stupid question.

Dexter: What's this? [chuckles] It's the dragon zombie. Cody likes to hide things in my bag.

Lila: He's trying to control you. By hiding toys in your bag, you have no choice but to return them to him.

Dexter: He's seven. He seldom has thoughts more complicated than the desire for candy.

Lundy: Can I offer you some tea?

Dexter: Uh, no, thank you, I'm – [thoughts] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him.

Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that?

Dexter: [thoughts] So I'll say yes to everything. [speech] I'd love some.

Lundy: [checks box] Oh, sorry. Guess I ate them all.

Dexter: [thoughts] Asshole.

Lundy: So you, one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with, you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I ask myself, how the hell did that happen?

Dexter: [voiceover] And did you answer, Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw?

Debra: So he's 20 years older than me, what do you care?

Dexter: I don't. [pause] I mean, [sits down, leans close] I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that.

Debra: What are you talking about, do anything like what?

Dexter: Like, try to sleep your way to the top.

Debra: You douche! That is so not true!

Dexter: Of course not, I shouldn't have even said anything, and I'm sure that thought would never even occur to anybody else.

Debra: Double-douche! You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss "Pardon My Tits". I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.

Dexter: You just described the perfect woman.

Debra: [disgusted]

Angel: [To Masuka] Cause you're like a retarded puppy.

Masuka: [rubs temple with middle finger at Angel]

Dexter: [voiceover] Lila almost had me believing it was possible. To change, to become something else – as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. [pulls on gloves] If the glove fits …

Dexter: [voiceover] A secret cabin in the middle of the Everglades? What more could a re-dedicated serial killer ask for?

Dexter: It's one thing to fuck with me another to fuck with [pauses] my ex-girlfriend who hates me. The Lila experiment is officially over.

[edit] Resistance Is Futile [2.09]

Dexter: [on Lila] She had me fighting with myself the whole time. All that self-reflection is unhealthy.

Dexter: [after a disturbing dream] Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism.

Dexter: [to Rita] I'm sorry. I feel … such regret, which is rare for me. Not that I don't mess up, I do, just never so stupendously. I had you, and them; I had us. So much to have, and to just demolish it. I honestly thought I was smarter than that. Rude awakening.

Dexter: I have to get to Jiminez, but a dead man tells no tales. A drunk, unstable woman very well may.

Dexter: [on Lila] Can't live with her, can't kill her.

Frank Lundy: What exactly is Sergeant Doakes' problem with you, Morgan?

Dexter: [voiceover] I kill people, for one.

Rita: Is it over with Lila?

Dexter: Yes, absolutely, completely over. If I never see her again it will be too soon.

Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher.

Dexter: I really hate that name.

Doakes: Shut the fuck up. Let's get this over with. [tosses handcuffs] Put 'em on.

[Dexter hesitates]

Doakes: Morgan, you're done. Give it up.

Dexter: Would you, in my position?

Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck.

Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.

[edit] There's Something About Harry [2.10]

Dexter: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?

Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.

Dexter: So do I. I caught you.

Doakes: I'm not a killer.

Dexter: [chuckles] You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy?

Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.

Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?

Dexter: My code requires a higher standard of proof than your city's laws, at zero cost to the taxpayer. If you ask me, I'm a bargain.

Lundy: I thought we were out as a couple.

Debra: Out and flaunting it are two different things.

Lundy: What, don't ask, don't tell?

Debra: Works for the military.

Lundy: Not really.

Dexter: [voiceover] Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. I can't keep my problem locked away in a cabin forever. Harry always said there were plenty of people who deserve to die. But no matter how hard I close my eyes and wish, Doakes isn't one of them.

Rita Bennett: Maybe we could just … hang.

Dexter: Like a sloth. I can do that.

Dexter: [voiceover] I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's: How can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions.

Vince Masuka: All those times he called me lab geek, fairywinkle, donkey fluffer. I'm just glad I took it lying down, you know?

Debra: What the fuck, Dex?

Dexter: What which fuck?

Dexter: Deb, Doakes is a lot of things, but he's not an idiot. He won't come out of the shadows because of a grudge.

Debra: Right. 'Cause serial killers are so practical.

Dexter: Actually, they are.

Dexter: Regardless of how we got here, one of the two killers in this cabin has to go away.

Doakes: I am not a killer.

Dexter: Right. In terms of who goes, it boiled down to a philosophical question: which one of us has more inherent worth?

Doakes: I know you're fucking kidding me.

Dexter: First I considered our value to the community. That was a wash. We're both loyal civil servants, we work hard to keep the city clean.

Doakes: … You cut people up into little pieces …

Dexter: Then I looked at our personal lives, and … well, it's where the differences became clearer. Strange as it may seem, I have people who depend on me. They would be devastated if they found out what I do. You, Sergeant, you're more of a lone wolf. Easier to put down, no one in the pack to miss you.

Doakes: Fuck you. Fuck you, Morgan, I have a family. I have my mother, my sisters.

Dexter: Who you never visit. Puts a pit in my stomach, that I can only interpret as … sadness. If you had a personal life, you might not have made me your obsession, and we might not be here right now.

Dexter: [voiceover] Doakes said I had two choices: kill him or let him go. But he neglected to look behind Door Number 3. Hand him over to the FBI, gift-wrapped. I don't need Doakes dead, I just need his fingerprints to complete my framejob.

Dexter: [voiceover] When the Feds receive these kill tools with their suspect's prints on them, the only threat to me will be the inane rants of a murderous madman. So close I can feel it. This tragic tale might still end in Doakes' demise, but not by my hands. Harry's legacy will remain intact.

Dexter: Don't test me, Sergeant. I could have killed you. I didn't.

Doakes: You didn't because you can't. I've had time to think about this, Morgan. I don't fit that code you were talking about, do I? At first I thought the Butcher only went after criminals because nobody gives a God damn what happens to them. But now … now I think you got a conscience.

Dexter: Of course I have a conscience. I left you a place to shit, didn't I? It's a small conscience.

Dexter: I'm sure Special Ops taught you to rattle your captor, but I should warn you, Sergeant. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any.

Doakes: Oh, really. Who's lying now?

Doakes: You're not gonna do what I think you are.

Dexter: There's no point in hiding it now, Sergeant. Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck.

[Dexter prepares to dismember his latest victim.]

Doakes: Morgan, God damn it, you got a conscience, man, you said it yourself! You go after killers, you take out killers, I get that. But this, this is some sick fuck ritual, man, you need help. Let me help you, man.

Dexter: Don't worry, Sergeant. I won't make you watch. I'm not uncivilized.

Dexter: [voiceover] It was me. The idea of a code was one thing, a grand idea, a noble cause. But the reality of it … Harry walked in on what he created. And he couldn't live with himself.

Doakes: What, Morgan? What now?

Dexter: I killed my father.

[edit] Left Turn Ahead [2.11]

Dexter: [voiceover] I always thought hardening arteries squeezed the life out of my father. But it was me. Harry gazed into the eyes of his creation and saw evil, pure and simple. My evil. It killed him.

Doakes: That shit about your father. You wanna talk about it?

Dexter: About what? That my life is one tragic mistake?

Doakes: We've all felt that at one time or another. I know I have.

Dexter: Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point?

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry's heart gave out when he saw what's inside me. He thought he could tame it, give it a purpose, help it find a place in the natural order. Guess he was wrong.

Dexter: [voiceover] It won't be long now. I can hang this on Doakes and then … then what? Years of trials and appeals. With him pointing his finger and calling me killer. For such a neat monster I'm making an awfully big mess.

Dexter: [voiceover] I'm the helpful handyman. How evil can I possibly be?

Dexter: In the long run it would be easier on Deb. Rita. Better than watching me dragged in like an animal. Which, let's face it, will happen. Some day.

Dexter: If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order.

Doakes: That's fine. Tie me up, throw me in the trunk, come on, let's go.

Dexter: I really enjoyed our conversations, James. I lie to everyone I know. Except my victims, right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. Sorry about the cage.

[edit] The British Invasion [2.12]

Dexter: [voiceover] Sleep, what a concept. I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in. This is so much better than a prison cell. I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French roast, grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison. But still, I'm free.

Lila: Who put you in there?

Doakes: A fucking psycho. And he could be back any minute. Grab that key, right behind you on the wall.

Lila: Who is he?

Doakes: His name is Dexter Morgan. I need you to open this gate.

Lila: Why would he do that, put you in there?

Doakes: Because I found out that he's the fucking Bay Harbor Butcher! Please, just open this fucking gate!

Lila: He's the Butcher …?

Doakes: This is what I've been trying to tell you.

Lila: What's in there?

Doakes: Exactly what you think it is. It's evidence. And I saw what happened. I really need to get out this cage, lady.

Lila: Poor thing, all alone …

Doakes: I'm okay. Just open the gate.

Lila: Not you, Dexter. Hiding such an enormous secret … what burden that's got to be. No wonder he was so shut down.

Doakes: What are you? His accomplice?

Lila: His soulmate.

Lila: What do you think I wanted?

Dexter: To know what it's like. To feel something that deeply. Anything. That's why you hang out in recovery groups. You're emotionally colorblind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but the feelings never come to pass.

Lila: It's not true.

Dexter: It is, Lila. You know the dictionary definition of emotions. Longing, joy, sorrow. But you have no idea what any of those things actually feel like.

Dexter: [voiceover] It's strange to have a creation out there. A deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up... I wonder if this is how parents feel.

Dexter: [voiceover] Not long ago I had a dream that people could see me for what I am. And for a brief instant in time, the world actually saw my bodies of work. Some even cheered. But as it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. Sorry, James.

I think Harry knew that from the start. That's why he gave me a code. It cost him his life, but it kept me alive through incredible trials. The code is mine now, and mine alone. So too are the relationships I cultivate.

They're not just disguises anymore. I need them. Even if they make me vulnerable. My father might not approve, but I'm no longer his disciple. I'm a master now. An idea transcended into life.

And so this is my new path. Which is a lot like the old one, only mine. To stay on that path I need to work harder, explore new rituals, evolve. Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. Does anyone?

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Our Father [3.01]

Debra: All right. Quinn's been in homicide two weeks and he noticed.

Dexter: Noticed what?

Debra: My hair. I changed my hairstyle for the first time since I was eight.

Dexter: Oh, yeah. Short – er, shorter.

Rita: God created pudding, and then he rested.

Miguel Prado: So a man dies, Mr. Morgan. And what's left, a soul? And what is that, exactly?

Dexter: I really couldn't tell you.

Miguel Prado: Some people say that the soul lives on forever.

Dexter: I hope not.

Miguel Prado: Which makes you a cynic.

Dexter: Makes me a … scientist.

Debra: [to Angel] Asshole. Sorry. Sergeant Asshole.

[edit] Finding Freebo [3.02]

Debra: Just like every other tweaker-hooker case.

Dexter: Except the tattoo peeled off her shoulder.

Debra: Coroner says not a tattoo. [waves folder back and forth like a pendulum] You're getting interested.

Dexter: Actually, I'm getting sleepy.

Vince Masuka: Need all the luck I can get. Got a crucifix up there, too.

Dexter: Because it did so much for Jesus?

Yuki Amado: Oh, God, that really matters to you, doesn't it? Your cop friends – it's your whole life, them, the job, the shield. As far as I can tell, without that, you've got nothing. Except your, uh, treadmill.

Debra: [pause] Kind of a cunt, aren't you?

Dexter: You seem uncertain. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? Just when you think you've answered all the questions, another one smacks you in the face. Life, life, life. Life is just like that. Which is why I prefer death. [stabs Freebo in the neck]

[edit] The Lion Sleeps Tonight [3.03]

[Drinking coffee]

Quinn: Sugar is so much better than the artificial stuff, don't you think?

Dexter: I guess.

Quinn: Do you like milk or cream?

Dexter: Neither.

Quinn: Not exactly the chatty type, are you?

Dexter: No.

Dexter: Rita's pregnant.

Debra: Say again?

Dexter: Rita's pregnant.

Debra: You're lying.

Dexter: I'm not lying.

Debra: A baby? A mother-fucking rolly-polly chubby-cheeked shit machine, are you kidding me?

Dexter: I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.

Sylvia Prado: Men are such babies. They need to be carried kicking and screaming into fatherhood.

Dexter: [getting medically scanned, voiceover] It seems ironic that I, an expert on human dismemberment, have to pay 800 dollars to have myself virtually dissected.

[At yoga with Rita]

Yoga Instructor: We are all strong warriors, all of us.

Dexter: [voiceover] This is absolutely, without a doubt, the worst moment of my life.

Yoga Instructor: Now, let's go into a little free-form yoga. Just let yourself dance.

Dexter: [voiceover] I was wrong. This is.

Yoga Instructor: See the dust dancing against the sunlight. Be as beautiful as the golden flakes of dust, Dexter.

Dexter: [voiceover] I could probably kill her before anyone realized what happened.

[edit] All in the Family [3.04]

Dexter: [voiceover] Masuka. He's chosen the role of court jester; now we only like him when he's making us laugh. Still, there's something to be said for being a character actor. The lead players, with all those emotions – must be exhausting.

Vince Masuka: Hell must have froze over, because cops won't eat doughnuts anymore.

Dexter: Studies show that emotional intelligence plays a greater role in individual success than anything that can be measured on the standard IQ test.

Debra: Are you calling me an emotional idiot?

Dexter: If you're an idiot, then I'm a vegetable.

Dexter: [voiceover, about Ramon Prado] You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Unless you order his favorite and keep him waiting. And waiting.

Dexter: [voiceover] But if you play a role long enough, really commit, does it become real? Could I become real?

[edit] Turning Biminese [3.05]

Harry Morgan: You're here. Rita's back home. You're cheating on her and you don't even realize it.

Dexter: I'll make time for my Dark Passenger and for Rita.

Harry Morgan: It's about priorities, Dexter. You're going to have to choose which one is your mistress and which one is your wife, and more importantly, which one comes first.

Dexter: [to a bound Ethan Turner] Most of your shipmates are up on the blue deck. It's happy hour. Just the two of us.

Dexter: [voiceover] Here I am, paradox personified. Taking life, creating life.

Vince Masuka: Your victim was smothered. That's not opinion. That's science. And science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14-inch strap on.

Debra: And he's back.

[edit] Sí Se Puede [3.06]

Dexter: My dad used to say, "Be careful what you think you know about someone – you're probably wrong."

Dexter: Why risk it all? Your career, reputation, freedom? You can just walk away.

Miguel: You didn't walk away from Ethan Turner, because you understand, Dexter, that we're living in, living in crucial times, crucial times that demand extraordinary measures.

Dexter: [voiceover] Miguel's convinced himself he wants this kill tonight for lofty and noble reasons. I'm not quite as high-minded.

Harry Morgan: We only see two things in people: what we want to see and what they want to show us.

Harry Morgan: No matter how close two people are, an infinite distance separates them.

Harry Morgan: Never underestimate the capacity of other people to let you down.

[edit] Easy As Pie [3.07]

Angel: No way your nickname was worse than "Fatista." 'Cause Gianna just rolls off the –

Barbara Gianna: "Va"-gianna.

Angel: Okay, you win. Kids can be cruel.

Dexter: [voiceover] Hand-holding. So simple, so intimate, so … uncomfortable.

Ellen Wolf: We all know how easy it is to plant evidence, and let's be honest, you look the type.

Dexter: [voiceover] Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

Miguel: So, uh, Ellen Wolf, a piece of work, right?

Dexter: [thoughs] Go easy, be tactful. [speech] We can't kill her.

Dexter: [voiceover] I've never been great at conflict resolution. Not without a blade and several rolls of plastic wrap.

Debra: [after pulling an all-nighter] I found a fucking lead on The Skinner case. It's in the trees! Right, so, we've had our heads up our asses, Sarge. We've been looking down at the bodies, but no one has been looking up!

Angel: … How much caffeine have you had?

Debra: A metric fuck-ton.

Angel: Well you should stop, its giving you touretts.

Debra: So I go through every fucking photo of every fucking crime scene, and guess what I found.

Quinn: Trimmed trees?

Debra: No, I didn't find shit. But, when I looked at the homes of the victims, mother fucking trimmed trees!

Dexter: I want you know that you were right about my brother. There's something else. I killed him.

Camilla: [last words] It's good you did.

Dexter: [voiceover] All the lives I've taken, they've always begged for mercy. I've never understood that concept, until now. This. This is mercy. But only for a friend.

[edit] The Damage a Man Can Do [3.08]

Dexter: [voiceover] It's said that everything is connected to everything. The butterfly effect. You drop a pebble into a pond and the ripples radiate outward, affecting everything. Until finally a fish grows arms and legs and crawls out of the water, and picks up a rock and smashes the next two fish over the head, and we have the first serial killer.

Dexter: Hey, you know anything about wedding bands?

Debra: Yeah, wedding rings and nuclear fission are my secret specialties.

Dexter: Thanks. [leaves]

Quinn: Your brother's kind of a dweeb, huh?

Debra: You say anything more about my brother and I will kick your fucking nuts down your throat.

Quinn: [laughs] That doesn't even make any sense.

Dexter: You ever drop a quart of milk? Watch it spread over the whole kitchen floor? The mess it makes?

Miguel: Yeah.

Dexter: There's six quarts of blood in the human body. This isn't going to be pretty. There's no shame in backing out.

Miguel: Dex, after 14 years of filing briefs, trying cases, and dealing with bullshit, this is all going to look nice and neat in comparison.

Dexter: [voiceover] I tell Miguel to be inconspicuous, and what does he do? He shows up looking like the Unabomber. I've got my work cut out for me.

[edit] About Last Night [3.09]

Dexter: [voiceover] Today I wake up, kiss the wife-to-be, feed the step-kids-to-be, dress myself in the usual pants, shirt … and pretense.

Sylvia: [sobbing] When you've been married as long as we have, you know when your husband's lying.

Dexter: [voiceover] Something to look forward to.

Debra: Skinner's had him for 24 hours. How long do you think he can hold out?

Dexter: Well, the M.E.'s report on the other victims suggests that the Skinner starts slow, probably to build fear. Anton's a big guy, lot of skin. [Debra looking horrified] … That's meant to be comforting.

Maria LaGuerta: You know, someone, a good friend, actually, told me I had a big wall around me. I thought it made me a better cop. I don't think it did.

[edit] Go Your Own Way [3.10]

Dexter: [sees Astor fast asleep at Debra's] What'd you use on her, chloroform?

Vince Masuka: A hooker is a terrible thing to waste.

[In Miguel's office, playing PC shooting game]

Dexter: [voiceover] It's all about strategy. Out-maneuvering the opposition, bending him to your will.

Miguel: What are you doing in my office, Dex?

Dexter: Winning.

Rita: [in her wedding dress] I feel like Cinderella … except for the whole Disney-virgin thing.

Sylvia: Don't worry. No one will know Prince Charming knocked you up before the ball.

Dexter: I know what it is to want to re-balance an unbalanced world. But it's just unbalanced, Angel, that's it. Some doors should stay shut. You open it, it's too easy to walk through it a second time.

Miguel: I'll do what I want to whom I want, to whoever I want! Count on it!

[edit] I Had a Dream [3.11]

Miguel: Friends are always honest with each other. They can see past their differences. When they have a conflict, friends are there to forgive, a true friend knows when to bury the hatchet because friendship is a sacred bond build on trust

Vince Masuka: Premium alcohol, all-you-can-eat buffet, plus high-class adult entertainment.

Dexter: [voiceover] Kill me now.

Dexter: [voiceover, post-bachelor party] After last night they all think we share a secret, but Miguel's the only one who knows mine. I could tell the rest of them, but then I'll have to kill them. Just like I'm going to kill Miguel.

Dexter: [voiceover] If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart? In Miguel's case, a five-star hotel.

Dexter: [voiceover, sees LaGuerta collecting evidence] Miguel probably thinks he's getting lucky. Looks like he's getting screwed.

Dexter: You need something under the table, I'm your guy. [pause] That didn't come out right.

Vince Masuka: What are you working on?

Dexter: I, uh, found a gray hair. I was curious.

Vince Masuka: Oh, dude, I've totally done that.

Dexter: You're bald.

Vince Masuka: [points below belt]

Dexter: Oh.

Debra: Whenever you have an earth-shattering, ball-crushing mindfuck of a secret, you should tell your fucking sister.

Miguel: [wrapped to a table] It doesn't have to come to this.

Dexter: But it always does. I had high hopes for you, but I guess I just have to accept that I will always be alone.

Miguel: That's not true.

Dexter: You talking truth. That's good. You actually had me believing that I could have a friend and you fed me all your bullshit.

Miguel: It wasn't bullshit!

Dexter:[Clamps a hand over Miguel's mouth] Shh...

Miguel: I tried. I tried to crack through that armor of yours. I know it's a possibility. I can still see the possibilities.

Dexter: So this is my fault for being shut down?

Miguel: I just wanted you to let me in!

Dexter: Why the fuck would I do that now?

Miguel: I know you. I know you, Dex, better than anyone else.

Dexter: Oh, there've been quite a few who've seen the real me as they laid on that table. You're all just unchecked versions of myself. What I would've become without my father's code.

Miguel: I'm not like them! I'm like you.

Dexter:[Slaps him] No, no, no, no. No. I know I'm a monster.

Miguel: I accept you. I accept you, Dex, like a brother.

Dexter: I killed my brother.

Miguel: …

Dexter: I killed yours, too.

Miguel:[Shocked] Oscar?...You?

Dexter: I didn't plan to, but it was... kill or be killed, ya know.

Miguel:[Wracked with emotion] YOU!!! You killed Oscar!

Dexter: What did you say in your bachelor party speech? Friends are always honest.

Miguel: Friends forgive. Friends forgive.

Dexter: But I don't forgive you – and I don't get to have friends.

Miguel:[As Dexter wraps a garrote around his neck] You little freak! You think I'm done with you?! You think this ends here?! IT DOESN'T!!!

Dexter: It does for you.[Strangles Miguel until he's dead]

Dexter: [Voiceover] Adios, amigo.

[edit] Do You Take Dexter Morgan? [3.12]

Dexter: [voiceover] There are few milestones in life that evoke a stronger response than our final act: death. What was once moving, speaking, killing, and threatening becomes nothing but an empty vessel, which is not so different from how I've always felt.

Dexter: That was awkward. I don't think I've ever been asked to leave a funeral before.

Rita: Ramon didn't ask you to leave – he pushed you out the door. He's just so angry.

Dexter: He's lost two brothers. He doesn't know whom to blame.

Rita: Certainly not you.

Dexter: [voiceover] No, certainly not me.

Dexter: [voiceover, trying to write vows] Darling Rita, once you were a dream and a prayer. Now our future is as bright as the sun glinting off the morning dew, and I vow that I will –. Sounds like I'm marrying a unicorn.

Debra: They all say the same thing, "King was a very polite gardener, can't believe he's the Skinner."

Quinn: I hate polite killers.

Dexter: [voiceover, bound to a table] Such a familiar situation. Such an unfamiliar perspective.

Debra: You're completely different from me. You're laid back, and musician-y, and unambitious. You're like Valium.

Anton: And you're like Red Bull.

Debra: You are the best thing that has happened to me.

Dexter: [voiceover] We all have secrets. In that way, I'm just like everyone else – sorta.

Debra: Ugh me in a dress – I feel like a transvestite.

Debra: Enough of this sappy shit. Lets get you fucking hitched!

Dexter: I promise, to be the very best husband, and father that I can be. [voiceover] A completely, utterly honest vow.

[edit] Season 4

[edit] Trailers

Dexter: [to his son] Okay, you planning on both of us not sleeping through another three months?

Dexter: [to his son] Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people.

Trinity: It's already over.

Dexter: [to his next victim] This is it. This is the big question. Of life, you know. Can I do this? Can I do this? Can I do this? What do you think, Benny, can I? [whispers dramatically] Can I have it all?

Dexter: [voiceover] Good suburban husband, happy father of three, living the dream.

[Dexter is about to kill Benny Gomez, but is interupted when Rita calls his cell phone]

Rita: Dexter, I need you to go to an all-night pharmacy right away.

Dexter: Kinda right in the middle of something, hon.

Rita: Whatever you're doing, it can wait.

[Dexter hangs up]

Dexter: [to Benny] Kids, huh? It's all about sacrifice. [raises his knife to kill him]

[edit] Living The Dream [4.01]

Arthur: [to his victim as he kills her] Shhh, shhh. it's already over. It's already over.

Anton: [pauses during sex with Debra] Hey, do you think you could TiVo Jon Stewart for me?

Debra: You're thinking about Jon Stewart?

Anton: Well, he is handsome and funny...

[edit] Remains To Be Seen [4.02]

Deb: If you smell me again, I'm going to punch you in the fucking throat.

Deb: I'm starting to think I fucked everyone more than my old man did.

Deb: Hey you remember me? We used to fuck, you want to have lunch?

Maria L.: Closure will set you free.

Masuka: Dude seriously, 86 the caffeine. You're freaking me out.

Dexter: I have places I have to be.

Masuka: I have places I have to be too. Not good places, but places.

[edit] Blinded By The Light [4.03]

Dexter: [voiceover] The backyard barbecue, it's a holdover from the last Ice Age when food was scarce and men had to work together to take down such a large beast. Those who worked well with others survived and their genes have been passed down through the centuries until they landed here, in this... my community.

Dexter: [voiceover] The danger with community is that those who don't belong are looked upon with suspicion. Those of us who prefer to work by ourselves, the lone wolves, risk being singled out. So I become an expert at blending in, camouflaging myself, being one of the guys.

Dexter: Aster what's that [as Dexter pushes her into the water]

Rita: Dexter, what were you thinking?

Dexter: She was wearing a bathing suit.

Dexter: [voiceover] This blending in thing isn't as easy as it looks.

Trinity: Isn't it pretty, okay, time to jump.

Deb: How come you never make the coffee even though you're up first?

Anton: 'Cause I don't want it bad enough to make it.

Deb: I don't even know what to say to that.

Anton: Oh baby, if there was chocolate cake here, I'd eat it, but I sure as hell don't want to bake one.

Dexter: Miami Dolphins

Masuka: Club Level! Jeez, who do I got to fuck to get those kind of tickets?

Dexter: Here ... no fucking.

Quinn: [referring to Lundy] Oh, well, if it isn't Special Agent Grandpa.

Masuka: I put her in a short skirt, so we could see her panties while she's falling.

Lundy: People like us don't really belong, we just pass through.

Dexter: Cops, another community I'm not part of.

Quinn: This Dexter guy. First of all who the fuck is named Dexter? Did his parents know he was going to be a fucking egghead?

[edit] Dex Takes a Holiday [4.04]

[Dexter is about to kill Zoey Kruger, a police officer who murdered her family]

Zoey Kruger: You can't hide what you are.

Dexter: Oh, I can. I'm better at it than you.

Zoey Kruger: You will choose your life over theirs.

Dexter: I won't. I'd rather risk with them knowing the truth … [Dexter stops talking, thinking] than losing them. [emotionally] I don't want to lose them. I don't.

Zoey Kruger: You gonna rape and kill me?

Dexter: What is it with you and rape? No one's raping anyone. Killing on the other hand...

Debra: [Last words to Frank Lundy] Stay with me.

[edit] Dirty Harry [4.05]

Debra: It doesn't matter what I do, what I choose. I'm what's wrong!

[After Rita demands to know what's inside Dexter's "tools" suitcase, which is revealed to be a gun]

Dexter: It was Harry's. I wasn't comfortable having it now with the kids, so I kept it here.

Dexter: See? I have nothing to hide …

Dexter: [voiceover] … except for the syringes, scalpels and bonesaws hidden in that secret drawer underneath.

Dexter: [going after Trinity] It's almost poetic. One serial killer ending the 30-year reign of another.

Debra: Yesterday I had Lundy and Anton and now they are gone because of me.
Dexter: You didn't do anything wrong.
Debra: It doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter what I choose. I am what's wrong. And there is nothing I can do about it. If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me. And there is nothing I can do about it. I am... I am broken!
Dexter: You are not. I am

[edit] If I Had a Hammer [4.06]

Nicky: You're a fucking cop for Christ's sake. You piss people off for a living.

[edit] Slack Tide [4.07]

Dexter: Man has always been drawn to the sea. But it's an unnatural setting for us. A place of great danger. Tides, currents, waves, wind. Each presenting their own hazards. None of which can be ignored. The slightest lapse of judgement can be a mistake you might never recover from. But a good sailor doesn't fight against these elements. A good sailor works with them, using them to his advantage. While others, less fortunate might be forever cast adrift, often in several pieces, he always comes home safely.

Harry: He spent his life killing innocent people but he can't kill Bambi?

[edit] Road Kill [4.08]

Dexter: [voiceover] Born in blood. Both of us.

Dexter: [voiceover] I should have... No, not should haves, I don't do should haves, that's not me. I just need to stop thinking about it.

[edit] Hungry Man [4.09]

[edit] Lost Boys [4.10]

Dexter: [voiceover]

[edit] Hello, Dexter Morgan [4.11]

Dexter: [voiceover] We all have the public life, the private life...

Harry: ...And the secret life. The one that defines you.

Arthur: Hello, Dexter Morgan.

[edit] The Getaway [4.12]

[Arthur Mitchell wakes up in Dexter's kill room, seemingly shocked by his surroundings]

Dexter: Guess you were picturing a different scenario.

Arthur: I was following my path.

Dexter: So was I.

Arthur: God led you to me.

Dexter: Hardly.

[Dexter cuts Arthur's cheek and creates a blood slide trophy; Arthur groans in pain]

Arthur: Is this who you are?

Dexter: Ta-da!

Arthur: Look at you! I never took pride in what I did!

Dexter: No, you were a very special kind of monster. You destroyed your own family.

Arthur: I gave them everything!

Dexter: No, you took everything; their future, their diginity, their hope... Christine even killed herself...

Arthur: No!

Dexter: ...because of you.

Arthur: She was weak!

Dexter: I can't believe there was a time when I actually thought I could learn something from you.

Arthur: You think you're better than I am?

Dexter: No. But I want to be.

Arthur: You can't control the demon inside of you any more than I could control mine.

Dexter: Did you ever actually try?

Arthur: Oh, God yes. I prayed to be changed, to be made different.

Dexter: That's not trying, that's waiting to be stopped.

Arthur: It worked, didn't it?

[They both look around at the kill room]

Arthur: Case in point.

Dexter: So what's the alternative, Arthur? Leave? Disappear? Fake my own death and start over again?

Arthur: No. You'll still be you.

Dexter: I have a family too, Arthur. And I'm good for them.

Arthur: [Laughs] You're like a child.

Dexter: A child with a big knife.

Arthur: You dream of a heaven you'll never see.

Dexter: I don't believe in heaven.

Arthur: Oh, but you do! This isn't your doing. This is God's plan. I accept that now. You have to do the same.

Dexter: I accept nothing. Nothing is inevitable.

Arthur: It's already over.

[Dexter looks confused and somewhat taken aback]

Arthur: It's already over. [Looks at the toy train set in the room] Could you...?

[Dexter turns on the train set and record player]

Arthur: Thank you. [singing] "I'll give her all the love I have to give, as long as we both shall live..."

[Dexter puts on his headgear and picks up a framing hammer, which he holds over Arthur]

Dexter: Now it's over.

[He flips the hammer so the sharp points are now facing down, then swings it towards Arthur.]

[Dexter has just discovered Rita's dead body, with Harrison lying in a pool of her blood]

Dexter: [voiceover] Born in blood. Both of us. Harry was right. I thought I could change what I am, keep my family safe. But it doesn't matter what I do, what I choose... I'm what's wrong. This is fate.

[edit] Season 5

[edit] My Bad [5.01]

Dexter: [voiceover] My father Harry taught me a few simple rules. Never hurt an innocent and never make a scene.

Dexter: Harry? [voiceover] Where are you now?, when I really need you. When it´s my wife in a bodybag everybody is looking and it´s the neighbor crying, not me.

Dexter: [voiceover] I've watched 67 people die, and at the moment of truth I looked into their eyes and I knew - and they knew - they got what they deserved. But what if that's not what happens, if you don't get what you deserve?

Debra: FBI? Fuckin' Bunch of Idiots?

Debra: I gotta tell you Dexter, don´t say things like "It was me". People will misunderstand. In fact I don´t understand; what did you even mean?

Masuka: [on Rita´s body] I've imagined her naked plenty times, but never like this.

Dexter: [about Rita] She died a brutal death, and I can't fix it. But I know I have to try, here in Miami with the people who knew her, who cared about her, who loved her. She had a big heart, big enough for the both of us, had to be, I wasn't even human when we first met.

Astor: I wish that it was just my mom and me and Cody and Harrison, because we all would have been better off if she'd never met you!

Quinn: [about Dexter´s report to 911] His wife just died; he's submitting a lab report.

[edit] Hello, Bandit [5.02]

Dexter: [voiceover] Normally, having a target would make me feel good, give me direction, a sense of purpose. But now it means nothing. And I don't know what's going to make me feel better.

Dexter: [voiceover] I suppose killing someone with my bare hands in a men's room was my way of working through the anger stage.

Astor: You come along and become a part of the family and we thought everything was going to be good forever. You made us think that! And it's not true; things got worse.

Dexter: It's like when you get on a plane, they tell you if the oxygen masks come down, to put yours on first before taking care of the kids. I need to take care of my own needs, too. Otherwise, I'll be spinning out of control. That's not good for any one.

[edit] Practically Perfect [5.03]

[Dexter has just killed Fowler]

Dexter: [voiceover] No church bells. No Hallelujah chorus. Nothing feels different. If anything, I'm emptier.

Fowler: Who are you?

Dexter: Just a fellow traveler who also likes to pick up dead animals.

Masuka: Damn. Don't people just shoot each other any more?

Masuka: This man is a knight in shining armor. You should be polishing his lance. [awkward pause] I meant that metaphorically - not how it sounded.

Dexter: I'm just not used to checking the fridge for notes. [voiceover]... just notes from other serial killers.

[edit] Beauty and the Beast [5.04]

Masuka: He's got daddy's eyes.

Batista: ... and your penis size.

Harry: What's your plan here? Nurse her back to health so she can go to the police? If she gives the cops enough to track you down then everything falls apart. Harrison grows up visiting you on death row.

Dexter: If I can get the crotchety, judgemental babysitter from Ireland to trust me, why not you?

Dexter: [voiceover] The babysitter doesn't trust me because of the lies; Lumen doesn't trust me because of the truth. There must be a name for that. Oh, right, Dexter Morgan.

[edit] First Blood [5.05]

Dexter: [voiceover] We all have something to hide, some dark place inside us we don't want the world to see. So we pretend that everything's okay, wrapping ourselves in rainbows. That's all for the best, because some of these places are darker than others.

Dexter: [voiceover] I want to believe that smile, that watching your mother die hasn't changed you the way it changed me.

Dexter: [voiceover] Not even a year old and you’re already destroying evidence. And having to flee the scene of the crime.

Dexter: I think his little black book has a few blank pages.

Masuka: The dragon lady represents the dualities of my inner warrior.

Debra: Or your inner idiot

Masuka: Hey, if you can't muster up some respect, I'm dropping the curtain.

Masuka: We all have our own ways of expressing ourselves. I have my ink, and you have your man boots.

Debra: [to Masuka] Don't you have to have a soul before it's in crisis?

Masuka: Tramp stamp. I think I'm in love.

Debra: If she's into needles, why don't you show her your dick?

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry's right. I have to convince Lumen to do what I never could: to move on.

Michael Angelo: Any friend of Sugar's is a friend of mine.

Deb: Sugar?

Masuka: [laughs]

Dexter: [on Boyd] From the outside, a normal home is indistinguishable from the home of a monster who puts women in barrels.

Masuka: All together once again. One big happy family. Eh, Dexterino?

Dexter: [voiceover] Rainbows are an illusion, refracted light to make us think there's something there and there's really not. Is there darkness in Harrison or is it just my own fear being reflected back?

[edit] Everything is Illumenated [5.06]

Dexter: [voiceover] Another part of my life packed away.

Sonia: [to Harrison] Can you say "Bye-Bye daddy?"

Harrison: Die-Die.

Sonia: Did you hear that?

Dexter: He said "Die-Die".

Sonia: Don´t be silly. he said "Bye-Bye". Harrison´s first words. He´s a good boy.

Dexter: [voiceover] I hope so.

Dexter: [voiceover] Lumen didn't witness her mother's murder, but she was born in blood like me. Some experiences are so big they change your DNA.

Dexter: I remember your first words: shoes. You were very girly once upon a time.

Debra: That's funny. I always remember my first words as being, 'Hurry the fuck up.'

Debra: What in the mother of fuck went on in here?

Masuka: I know exactly what happened. Two words: autoerotic mummification. See, Mr. Plastic Man shot Captain Bloody Underpants while Underpants was in the choke.

Lumen: Why do you have that in your purse?

Dexter: It's not a purse.

Lumen: I know you. What you are, deep down. Aside from your police job and your "extracurricular activities". You're a father. I saw the pictures out there. Three children?

Dexter: The two oldest are with their grandparents. Their dad's mom and dad.

Lumen: You have a son?

Dexter: Harrison. He just started talking, today. He's tremendous.

Lumen: It's just the two of you?

Dexter: And an Irish superhero nanny. I never thought my life would turn out like this.

Lumen: I had imagined a totally different life for myself too. I always did everything by the book, you know? Go, go, go. I never stopped to think. There was high school, and college, and graduate school. Owen. We were gonna get married at the house that I grew up in. On my wedding day I, I tried on the dress, and I looked at the window in the backyard where the aisle was, and I saw everything that that aisle was leading to. Babies, and matching dinnerware. Sunday barbecues. And I couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there, and find something ... more. Then, everything happened, and [pause] I actually thought "This is what I get. For trying to live my own life." Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

Dexter: [quietly] A little.

Lumen: But tonight, I felt this like, this... peace. And it's because he's dead. [Pause, and then painfully] And I know that it's not gonna last. And when it wears of, I'm gonna have to find the rest of them. [tearfully] Because that's the only way that I'll find that peace again. I don't even have a name for what I'm feeling.

Dexter: [voiceover] I do. The Dark Passenger. I can't get revenge for Rita's death, but I can help Lumen avenge what was done to her. [Pause, and then aloud] How many more were there?

[edit] Circle Us [5.07]

Lumen: [Dexter has asked her to describe her attackers] Besides the ones we've already ... taken care of? There was watch-guy.

Dexter: Watch-guy?

Lumen: I would be tied to a chair, blindfolded. Sometimes I wouldn't even know if he was there until I heard this watch by my ear. And then he'd lean in and whisper "Tick, tick, tick, that´s the sound of your life running out."

Dexter: Okay. Anyone else?

Lumen: Suit and tie. He'd take off his jacket and fold it, very carefully, and then lay it on a chair. Like he didn't want to mess it up. The suit guy I'd know, he always took the blindfold off. I guess he thought I'd be dead soon.

Dexter: He was wrong.

Lumen: [looking at a picture of Jordan Chase and Masuka]: I mean, that guy's clearly a freak (Dexter looks confused), but I don't know him.

Dexter: [instantly] No, not the bald guy. The guy beside him, Jordan Chase.

Dexter: [on Jordan Chase] If that's the watch Lumen heard, I'll make sure it accompanies you to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Debra: Shit a brick and fuck me with it, you're never going to believe who this truck is registered to.

Dexter: [voiceover about Harrison] He doesn't need Saint Brigid; he has father Dexter.

Dexter: [voiceover] That's either a saint or the most boring action figure I've ever seen.

Lumen: So how do we find them?.

Dexter: I´m not sure about "We." It´s not working right here. What I do, I do alone, I don´t need a partner.

Dexter: [voiceover as he watches Lumen play with Harrison] Sometimes partners find us, and as much as we try to push them away, they work their way into our lives, regardless - until we finally realize how much we need them.

[edit] Take It [5.08]

Jordan Chase: [during a seminar] We've lost touch with our instincts, with what we are. We have fallen from nature's grace. But WE SHALL BE DELIVERED! [The crowd cheers] It's time to tap into your primal selves and seize the power of instinct. We're gonna cut off those shackles that bind us to jobs we hate, people we don't love, lives that aren't worth living. We are going to [in unison with crowd] TAKE IT!

Dexter: [voiceover] I've never been around so many people that make me feel normal.

Crowd member: [to Jordan Chase] Yeah! [turns to Dexter] YEAH!

Dexter: [voiceover] Really normal.

Quinn: You alright?

Debra: Three people are dead. Carlos Fuentes and two girls. No one's crying about Carlos.

Quinn: Because he's a scumbag.

Debra: Yeah, he’s a scumbag that I shot and killed.

Quinn: And? What's the problem? Don't tell me that you feel bad about killing him.

Debra: I don't. That's the problem.

Jordan Chase: I have some bad news for everyone, you're all going to die.

Dexter: [voiceover as he looks at Cole] Some of us sooner than others.

Jordan Chase: Some of us sooner than others.

Dexter: [voiceover] Jordan promises change. But he also accepts credit cards. [Answering his phone] Lumen?

Lumen: Can you talk? Or are you about to have a major life revelation?

Dexter: No, that came around 9:00am, when I realized that I really wanted a doughnut.

[Lumen and Dexter have just set up the kill room. Dexter is now putting up pictures of the other victims]

Lumen: Cole's other victims. Why did you put their pictures up?

Dexter: Cole needs to see what he's done.

Lumen: What do you get out of all this?

Dexter: I like knowing that the men who did this to you won't do it to anyone else.

Lumen: This isn't about me.

Dexter: You're standing here.

Lumen: Look at all this. If you didn't know me you'd still be in this room. Boyd wasn't your first. You've been doing this a long time.

[Dexter and Lumen have Cole restrained in the kill room]

Dexter: I'm going to take this gag out of your mouth; but if you make one sound I don't like I'm gonna cut your eyes out. Blink so I know you understand. [Cole blinks, so Dexter removes the gag]. We know about Boyd, and Dan the Dentist, and now you. Who were the others?

Lumen: The guy who held a watch up to my ear? "Tick, tick, tick, that's the sound of your life running out."

Cole: [smirks, but doesn't say anything]

Dexter: [holds a knife to Cole's throat] What are their names?

Cole: [whispers something]

Lumen: What did he say?

Cole: [defiantly] Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Dexter: [Regags him, and then turns his head to the pictures of his victims] Look at the women, whose lives you destroyed. [Forces Cole's eyes open] Look. Death was the only kindness you showed them. [Dexter slices Cole's cheek and takes a sample of his blood, as Lumen watches with a mixture of fascination and horror. Picks up his knife] It's a shame that you can only die once. [He then looks at Lumen, who nods in approval. Dexter then stabs Cole in the heart. After a long pause] You said I've done this before, that's true. This is who I am. When I was a child my mother was murdered in front of me. It shattered me. I've done this ever since. Because, for the longest time it was the only way that I could feel ... unbroken. And then, Rita was killed, and none of this made sense any more. [Long pause] Until now. [He picks up the blood slide and holds it out to her]

Dexter: [voiceover] Miguel couldn't, my father couldn't, can anyone live with the truth of what I am? [Lumen takes the blood slide] Is Lumen what will make me whole?

[LaGuerta is blaming Debra, instead of herself, for the shootout at the club]

Angel: Deb. I'm gonna do whatever it takes, to set the record straight.

Debra: I thought you were backing LaGuerta's story.

Angel: I didn't know what I was gonna do. I was stuck between a rock and my wife. But I decided, I'm backing you.

Debra: Might not go over to well at home.

Angel: You're flesh and blood to me. Like my kid sister, but better, because I actually like you.

Debra: [Touched] Damn.

Angel: It's okay.

Debra: Yeah, it's okay.

[edit] Teenage Wasteland [5.09]

Jordan: Now you know my secret, you ready to tell me yours?

Dexter: [voiceover] Over your dead body!

Dexter: [voiceover] An hour on the treadmill and I came up empty, not a clue. The only upside is that I got in my cardio for the day. Jordan is one tough nut to crack.

Jordan Chase: You're one tough nut to crack, you know that Dexter?

Dexter: [voiceover] I wish he'd stop doing that.

Receptionist: Mr. Chase says he's been beefing things up.

Dexter: [voiceover] Well that's no surprise. Lumen and I have been knocking off his friends one by one.

Lumen: Share something with her. What you did with her when you were her age.

Dexter: I killed the neighbor's dog

Lumen: Well don't tell her that.

Astor: Harrison. He doesn't even recognize me.

Dexter: Well you didn't look like a raccoon the last time he saw you.

Batista: We've got to re-open this case.

Deb: I know, but I can't tell LaGuerta, I'm supposed to be on file clerk duty.

Masuka: I can't tell LaGuerta; this case was solved. If I ask her to re-open it, I might as well put my balls in a vice and not in a hot way.

Batista: Well that just leaves me.

Dexter: Astor showed up drunk on my doorstep with a friend.

Masuka: How old's the friend? [long pause] Just kidding.

Deb: I didn't know he had a tenant.

Lumen: I didn't know he had a sister.

[Dexter has recently learned that Barry is beating Olivia]

Barry: It's tough looking after somebody else's kid. Sometimes you just gotta show 'em who's boss.

Dexter: Is that what you do with Olivia, show her who's boss?

Barry: What's that supposed to mean?

Dexter: I know about Olivia's bruises. How they're strategically placed so they won't show.

Barry: I don't know what you're talking about.

Dexter: No? Let me show you? [Dexter punches Barry twice in the chest, causing him to gasp and cough in pain] That's your solar plexus. Right now your diaphragm is partially paralyzed which is why you're having trouble catching your breath.

Barry: [coughing] What are you, man? Some kind of psycho?

Dexter: Not today, just a concerned parent. [Punches Barry twice in the side, causing him to gasp further] That's your liver. [Punches him in the liver three more times] The nice thing about the liver is if you hit it just right, you hit the vagus nerve which tentacles out to the rest of your body. [Punches him there twice more] Your brain short-circuits, your body shuts down, and you feel, what's the word? Terror? Which is what Olivia felt every time you hit her there just so the bruises wouldn't show. I want you to listen to me carefully. Listen to me very carefully, because this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna call Olivia's mother, you're gonna tell her you're sick of her fat ass. You can't stand to look at it anymore. And you're gonna make her believe it. Because if you don't, she may take you back one day, and let you near her kid, or mine. And I can't let that happen. [Throws Barry to the ground] You're not even gonna swing by to pick up your stuff, you're just gonna leave. Tomorrow, when I drop Olivia off, you will be gone. If you ever come back, believe me I won't go so easy next time. [Kicks Barry in the side] By the way, that's your kidney. [Walks off. Gets into his car]

Harry: I can't believe it.

Dexter: I don't want to hear it, okay. "This isn't your business, Dexter. Don't get involved, Dexter. You put too much at risk, Dexter."

Harry: That's not what I was going to say. [Dexter looks at him, surprised] I'm proud of you.

Dexter: You are?

Harry: You protected Astor. Put yourself out there for another person. I had no idea you had that in you. I underestimated you, assumed you were a monster. When you were capable of, so much more. If only I'd seen that, maybe I wouldn't have lead you down this path.

[Lumen is at Dexter's house when the house phone rings]

Lumen: [answering it]' Dexter?

Jordan Chase: No, it's Jordan Chase. But I'm looking for Dexter, is he there?

Lumen: [terrified] He - He's not available right now.

Jordan Chase: Can I leave a message?

Lumen: [still terrified] Uh-huh.

Jordan Chase: Tell him, I'm just checking in and I'd like him to schedule another appointment. As soon as possible.

Lumen: Okay, I will. Bye.

Jordan Chase: Hang on a second. Tell Dexter one more thing.

Lumen: [controlling herself] Okay.

Jordan Chase: Tell him time is of the essence. [With deliberate slowness] Tick, tick, tick, [Lumen appears to be close to tears] that's the sound of his life running out. Could you be sure to tell him that? Take care, Lumen. [He hangs up, leaving Lumen gasping in terror]

[edit] In the Beginning [5.10]

[Discussing the barrel girl case]

Masuka: DNA report's from the coroner's office point to multiple perps.

Quinn: Do we have any names?

Masuka: No. What we do have are partial sequences from seriously degraded DNA. But the evidence confirms what we knew about Boyd Fowler; and also points with a high probability to Cole Harmon, Jordan Chase's head of security.

LaGuerta: As you know Cole Harmon was our original suspect in the case...

Dexter: [voiceover] Until I pointed them toward Boyd Fowler.

LaGuerta: He is now our main target again.

Dexter: [voiceover] A target you'll never hit. He's already been buried at sea.

[After the discovery of the DVD's showing the men raping and torturing the women, and looking at pictures of it.]

Dexter: [voiceover] Despite having considered myself a monster for as long as I can remember, it still comes as a shock when I am confronted with the depth of evil that exists in this world.

Lumen: [As Dexter enters the apartment] I've been trying to get a handle on this Emily Birch, and there is nothing. She graduates high school in 1992 and then it's just a big blank. Except for those DUIs you found. [Noticing his somber expression] What?

Dexter: We found this, at a search at Cole's. [He takes out the DVD that has her torture on it] The men who hurt you, they made DVDs of everything they did.

Lumen: [After a long pause, reading the number on the DVD] Thirteen. Is that me? [Dexter nods, she takes the DVD] [With a mixture of fear and shame] Did everyone watch it?

Dexter: No. I managed to get it out of evidence in time.

Lumen: [With even more fear and shame] Did you- did you watch it?

Dexter: Only enough to make sure I had the right one. Are you sure you want to keep it?

Lumen: Number Thirteen. That's what I was to them. [Drops the DVD on the desk with disgust] [She struggles to contain herself] It must have been hard for you to get that. [Dexter does not respond] I know that you risk your life, every day that you're with me. [Crying] You've been my only way through this.

Dexter: Well I guess, we both met each other at the right time.

Debra: Watching these DVDs, watching it actually happen, is way worse than any fucking crime scene. What these women went through... I don't know. Maybe it's a fucking blessing that they're dead. No one could go through something like this and have a life again.

Dexter: [Long pause] People may be stronger than you think.

Debra: Believe me on this one, you're wrong. There's no coming back from something like this.

[Jordan Chase is submitting to a DNA test]

Jordan Chase: I was hoping we'd have a chance to speak again.

Dexter: We don't have anything to talk about.

Jordan Chase: Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client.

Dexter: Former. Your program didn't work for me.

Jordan Chase: Regardless, when I see someone on a self-destructive path I can't just stay silent. Often people get involved with someone who is toxic to them, unstable and dangerous, bad things happen.

Dexter: Open. [Chase opens his mouth, and Dexter takes a DNA sample]

Jordan Chase: You're just now putting your life back together after a terrible tragedy. I implore you, don't invite another one. For yourself or for what's left of your family.

Dexter: [After an intense silence] You know, I'm glad that you didn't touch any of them.

Jordan Chase: Really? Why is that?

Dexter: Because this DNA test will clear you. Leaving you all to me, and to her. Your time is up.

Lumen: What else did Jordan say?

Dexter: [Examining his knives] That you were toxic. And dangerous, that I was on a self-destructive path.

Lumen: That sounds like a threat.

Dexter: [As Lumen comes into the room] He was trying to make me doubt [turns to look at her] you.

Lumen: [She is dressed in all black "serial-killer garb"] What do you think?

Dexter: [He stares at her, clearly finding her beautiful] You look...

Lumen: I look stupid don't I?

Dexter: No, no, no.

Lumen: You can tell me the truth.

Dexter: You look...perfect.

[Lumen enters the kill room, where Dexter is waiting and Alex Tilden is restrained]

Lumen: I look different don't I? Without my hands tied behind my back. But you recognize me, I can tell. [Dexter removes Tilden's gag]

Tilden: I never wanted to do any of it.

Lumen: Really?

Tilden: It-it wasn't me. It-it was Jordan. It's all Jordan. You know, he has this way...

Dexter: Of getting inside your head, getting you in touch your primal nature.

Tilden: He made me do things I never would have done.

Lumen: [Angry] No, [putting a finger on his head] you made me do things I never would have done. Ever. EVER!

Tilden: What do you people want? I can give you Jordan Chase.

Dexter: We've got Jordan Chase.

Tilden: Well, what do you want? Everybody wants something. I mean, that-that-that's what brought us to this fucking unfortunate situation. Am I right? I'm a banker. I can get money, lots of it. We can work this out, just tell me what's this gonna cost? Just give me a number!

Lumen: [Leans in close to whisper] Thirteen. [She smiles at him]

Tilden: No, I- (Dexter regags him)

Dexter: [Walks over to a table and picks a knife, voiceover] There's a first time for everything. A first step, a first word, a first kiss, a first kill. Somehow you know when the time is right. [He gives Lumen the knife, and then says aloud] Aim for the heart.

[Lumen stares at the pictures of the other victims for a while, before she closes her eyes in grief. She walks up to the table that Tilden is restrained on, and climbs on top of it. She then stabs him in the heart. She pants in horror for a few seconds, and then manages to control herself]

Dexter: Are you okay?

Lumen: [Panting, but certain] Yes.

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry tried to mold me in the image of the monster he thought I was. He told me to flee human connection. So that became a way of life for me. When I couldn’t run, I put up barriers to protect myself. And to protect others from me. [Later, after they have made love, as they lie in each other's arms] But with Lumen, I'm someone different. In her eyes, I'm not a monster at all.

[edit] Hop a Freighter [5.11]

[edit] The Big One [5.12]

Dexter: [to Lumen] Don't be sorry your darkness is gone. I'll carry it for you - always. I'll keep it with mine.

Dexter: [voiceover] They make it look so easy. Connecting with another human being. It's like no one told them it's the hardest thing in the world.

Dexter: [voiceover] Lumen said I gave her her life back... A reversal of my usual role. Well the fact is, she gave me mine back too. And I'm left not with what she took from me but with what she brought. Eyes that saw me, finally, for who I really am. And this certainty. That nothing, nothing is set in stone. Not even darkness. While she was here, she made me think, for the briefest moment, that I might even have a chance to be human.

Dexter: ... But wishes of course are for children...

[edit] Season 6

[edit] Those Kinds of Things [6.01]

Dexter: [voiceover] There are times in our lives when everything seems to go wrong. When despite our best efforts, and for no apparent rhyme or reason, tragedy strikes.... And there are other times when everything goes just perfectly. That's how the last year has been for me.

Dexter: I've learned that periods of darkness can overcome us at any time. But I've also found that I'm able to endure, overcome, and in the process grown stronger. Smarter. Better. All is well in my little corner of the world.

[Dexter returns home]

Jamie: Dexter!

Dexter: Hey, Jamie. [voiceover] It's not what you're thinking.

Angel: Hey, Dex.

Dexter: [voiceover] It's really not what you're thinking.

Debra: What you said in there, do you really believe that? Do you really believe in nothing?

Dexter: Well, I suppose I believe in a certain set of principles.

Debra: What kind of principles?

Dexter: Well, a set of rules on how to conduct myself in the world so I don't get into trouble.

Debra: You can believe whatever you want to believe - or not believe whatever you want to believe but it's not just about you anymore. You're a father. What about Harrison? you have to think about what you want him to believe.

Dexter: High school. A small world onto itself, combining all the warmest elements of a federal work camp with those of a third world poultry farm. It's a miracle I graduated without killing anyone.

Harry Morgan: You've had a personal tragedy. Unlike everyone else, you look better than you did twenty years ago and you've got a cool job. Put all that together, and it makes you...

Dexter: Popular.

Harry Morgan: How's it feel?

Dexter: I hate it.

Harry Morgan: C'mon, it's great. Most of the people here would love to be popular.

Dexter: Most people don't have two rolls of duct tape, eighty yards of plastic sheeting and a surgical saw in their trunk.

Dexter: I have no idea what Hammer time is. Or how it differs from regular time.

Dexter: Wishbone. Hail Mary. Buttonhook. Nothing is what it seems.

Quinn: Hey, uh, could we talk in private?

Debra: Yeah, go ahead.

Quinn: No I mean like, later, over dinner.

Debra: Why?

Quinn: What's the big deal?

Debra: That's what I'm asking you. You're being weird.

Quinn: You're being weird.

Debra: Okay, now you're being weird and stupid.

Angel: Did you take Harrison for his preschool interview?

Dexter: Yeah, I did.

Angel: Good, because Audi really liked it there.

Dexter: She didn't find it scary? The statues, and the, you know.

Angel: The crucifix. That's a very powerful image of the sacrifice that was made for us. All kids have to learn those kinds of things.

Dexter: [voiceover] Those kinds of things. [aloud] Sorry, but why?

Dexter: [voiceover] Fast reflexes. I hate jocks.

[Joe is on Dexter's table]

Dexter: What would Jesus have done? Seriously now. How do you reconcile your belief in a higher power, in a God, with what you've done?

Joe: What difference does it makes?

Dexter: I'm just curious.

Joe: So, what, I'm supposed to defend my beliefs to you?

Dexter: If you don't mind.

Joe: Look - I - I - I mean - everyone makes mistakes. Th-they do things they shouldn't do and - they're only human but God - God forgives us.

Dexter: Really, it's as simple as that? You kill someone, God forgives you for it? So I could kill you and God would forgive me.

Dexter: [voiceover] Life is good. I'm not at all unhappy - I'm quite content to go about my life believing in nothing, with no fear that there might be something more out there.... But I also have a son, and I also have to think about what he wants, and what's best for him, because who knows? Maybe he'll grow up to be someone who wants to think about...those kinds of things.

[edit] Once Upon A Time... [6.02]

Dexter: Rituals are important. Not only for a serial killer, but also for a two-year-old if you want him to go to bed on time. Not that I mind. This ritual has become my favorite. Bedtime, alone with my son. Being myself.

[edit] Smokey and the Bandit [6.03]

Dexter: [voiceover] We all want life to have some kind of meaning. Seems the older we get, the harder we look for it. And the harder it is to find. And some of us just look in the wrong place. But if our lives don't have meaning, what can we leave behind for those we care about?

[edit] A Horse of a Different Color [6.04]

Dexter: I was drawn to science out of curiosity. Any questions I had, the answers were already there, but even science is never certain, even the soundest of theories is subject to new data. And there are some things even science can't explain. Brother Sam would say it's not an accident that I've stumbled onto a killer that seems to have his own kind of faith. And while I don't believe in an unseen hand creating his own tableau, I do believe I don't have all the answers.

[edit] Just Let Go [6.06]

Dexter: There's no light in you. There's no light in me.

Brian Moser: Hey, little brother. Miss me?

[edit] Nebraska [6.07]

[edit] Sin of Omission [6.08]

[edit] Get Gellar [6.09]

[edit] Ricochet Rabbit [6.10]

[edit] Talk to the Hand [6.11]

[edit] This is the Way the World Ends [6.12]

Deb: You were right. I told him. I fucking told my brother that I love him and he said I love you back. Not me too, or something like that. He actually said I love you.

Dr. Ross: Wow. It's big, isn't it?

Deb: Yeah, I don't think he understood that I'm actually in love with him, but he still said the actual words for the first time.

Dr. Ross: So what do you think it means?

Deb: I don't know what the fuck it means. That's why I'm here. Is this is just horribly wrong?

Dr. Ross: Does it feel wrong?

Deb: It makes my whole life -- every man I've ever loved makes sense. It's like I've always been looking for someone like Dexter, or someone who's the opposite of Dexter, as a way to avoid the fact that I'm in love with him. It's just clear to me. I want it to be clear to him. I want him to understand.

[edit] External links

Wikipedia has an article about:

Dexter (TV series)

Dexter quotes at the Internet Movie Database
Dexter at TV.com