Dumb Britain
From Wikiquote
Dumb Britain is a regular column in Private Eye magazine, documenting amusingly incorrect or ignorant answers given on radio and television quiz shows.
[edit] Irony
- Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
- Sara Cox 'Beauty is in the eye of the...'
- Contestant Tiger.
- Fifteen-to-One, Channel 4
- William G. Stewart: Above the entrance to which place do the words “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” appear?
- Contestant: A church?
- Stewart: Er, sorry, no, hell.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Where was the recent Winter Olympics held?
- Contestant: Taunton.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: The Grapple in the Apple, recently held in New York, was a debate between the journalist Christopher Hitchens and the politician George who?
- Contestant: George Washington.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: In which film did Harry Lime say 'In Switzerland they had brotherly love and they had 500 years of democracy and peace. And what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!'?
- Contestant: One Flew Over the Cuckoo Clock.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: In Italian history, in 1919 which former journalist set up the Fascist Party?
- Contestant: Silvio Berlusconi.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Name the man who was President of Italy until May 2006.
- Contestant: Don Corleone.
- Beg, Borrow or Steal, BBC Two
- Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
- Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
- Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
- Contestant: Leicester.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: A selection of small, highly coloured sweets is known as Dolly...
- Contestant: Parton.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: In politics, what is the current occupation of David Blunkett?
- Contestant: Blind.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: The adjective Rubenesque, meaning a plump, voluptuous woman, is derived from the work of which 17th century Flemish artist?
- Contestant: Aretha Franklin.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: He was known as the King of the Cowboys. He was Roy who?
- Contestant: Keane.
- Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
- Sara Cox What was Bram Stoker's most famous creation?
- Contestant Branston Pickle.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: In the 1940s which politician was responsible for the welfare state; William...?
- Contestant: The Conqueror.
- The Vault, ITV
- Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
- Contestant: Nostalgic
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: What force of nature is responsible for keeping the Earth, planets and asteroids in orbit around the Sun?
- Contestant: Delta Force.
[edit] Ignorance
- The Vault, ITV
- Melanie Sykes: In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637?
- Contestant: Sydney.
- The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
- Leno: Who was the first man on the moon?
- Contestant: Louis Armstrong.
- National Lottery Jet Set, BBC One
- Anne Robinson: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
- Contestant: Jelly.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Which m describes exhibiting clothes or making air fix aircraft?
- Contestant: Hangar.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: What 4 letter word beginning with d has shelves and is used for writing on
- Contestant: Table.
- Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
- Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
- Caller: Japan.
- Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
- Caller: Er... Mexico?
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: No what please we’re British?
- Contestant: Thankyou.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Which hot drink is eat an anagram of
- Contestant: Hot chocolate.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: A wild guess is a shot in the...
- Contestant: Arm.
- Family Fortunes with Les Dennis
- Dennis: Name something people believe in but cannot see.
- Contestant: Hitler.
- The James O'Brien Show with James O'Brien
- O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
- Contestant: Er, well I know there was a Henry the eighth ... Er ... er... three?
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Which part of the human body is closest to the floor when we are walking?
- Contestant: The head.
- The Big Ask, LBC
- Gary King: What is the largest carnivore that lives on the land?
- Contestant: A Whale.
[edit] Bizarre
- Steve Wright in the Afternoon, BBC Radio 2
- Steve Wright: On this day in 1963, how did Valentina Tereshkova become famous?
- Contestant: Was she the first woman to grow a potato?
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: A pain in the muscles or bones of the lower legs, often suffered by sportsmen is known as Shin...?
- Contestant: ...dlers List.
- Studio 7, The WB Network
- Presenter: Which former British colony was handed back to the Chinese in 1997?
- Contestant: London.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: Which actress was married to Humphrey Bogart, and is the also the cousin of former Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres?
- Contestant: Gene Kelly.
- 24 Hour Challenge, BBC Radio York
- Jonathon Cowap: If someone is described as hirsute, what are they?
- Contestant: Erm.
- Cowap: Here's a clue. Most men are, and most women would like us to think they are not.
- Contestant: Is it gay, Jonathon?
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: In the Lord's Prayer, what word beginning with 'H' meaning 'blessed' comes before 'be thy name'?
- Contestant: (quietly) Howard.
- Anne Robinson: (incredulously) Pardon?
- Contestant: (louder) Howard.
- The Weakest Link, BBC Two
- Anne Robinson: What word for an ancient Roman marketplace is also a site on the internet for open discussion?
- Contestant: Chatroom.
- Are You Smarter Than A 10 Year Old?, Sky One
- Presenter: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?
- Contestant: No, it was a dinosaur.
