Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999-2009) was an original animated television created by Danny Antonucci and became one of the longest running and most successful franchises on Cartoon Network. The series features three boys, Ed, Edd and Eddy, known as 'the Eds', who create crazy money-making schemes in order to by Jawbreakers, their favourite candy.

Contents

Season 1[edit]

The Ed-Touchables[edit]

Eddy: You know what they say: A little childhood trauma builds character.
Ed: [grabs Eddy, who has been trying to sneak up on him] "Hey! Eddy! He-ha! What's up?"
Edd: Dogpile! [the Eds tussle]
Ed: [with both in a headlock] "Hi! Hiya, Double D. He-ha! You guys make me laugh."

Ed: "Hey, Jonny, nice haircut. Double D has a surprise for you!" [Jonny looks at Double D.] "A lie detector!"
Edd: [after placing bread in the toaster] "Ready."

Jonny: "OK, OK! I did it! I took everybody's stuff! Now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!"

Sarah: "That dirty toucher took my dolly Poo-Poo!"

Eddy: [He talks to Plank] "You must be the brains, huh?" [pause] "Where's the stuff, Planky? Fess up!" [pause again] "Oh...silent, huh?" [Eddy hits plank with his hand] "AAAAAAAAAH! Splinters!"
Jonny: "AAAAH! Leave Plank alone, Eddy!"

Eddy: "AHA! Dr. Toucher, I presume?"
Jonny: "Whoa! You guys are weird!"

Eddy: [after witnessing Sarah attacking Ed] "You got to love these family moments."

Eddy: "Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?"
Ed and Edd: "Jawbreakers!"
Eddy: "And away we go…"
[Sarah and Jimmy get in his way]
Sarah: "Now just a rotten minute! I Found my dolly, under my bed!"
Jimmy: "It's true, and here she is, see?"

Nagged To Ed[edit]

[The Eds are in the forest, only to hear echoes of some voices of some mysteriously haunting spooks that scare them]
Spooks [Off-screen]: (giggling) Ed, Edd n Eddy - sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Lee: The way to a man's heart is through his arteries.

Ed: "I saw this in a movie – 'I Made a Thorax'!"

Lee: "You sailors are all alike-- [inaudibly silent pause]] --you should go back to diving for clams."

Eddy: [looking at the Kankers' artwork of them and the Eds] "Look! Artwork! It's 'Ed and May'! How cute!"
Edd: [saw a picture with him with Marie] "Is that me?"
Eddy: [saw a picture of Lee and himself are married] "What the-? AAAAH! That's not funny!" [crams picture into a ball]

Edd: "Interesting. 'Hub Cap Digest'." [pulls down the book and opens it] "This book has no print. These pages are blank!"

Over Your Ed[edit]

Ed: Am I cool now?
Eddy: No, you're naked.

[Eddy takes Ed and Edd to his bedroom closet]
Eddy: Welcome to my Closet of Dreams!
Eddy: "Ladies and gentlemen…"
Ed: [excited] "Ladies and gentlemen!"
Eddy: "Come buy our delicious…"
Ed: "Come buy our deciduous…" [normal voice] "Uh."
Eddy: "En-O-Gee Drink."
Ed: "Hello!" [Kevin and Nazz walks by] "I'm the Sales-Ed."
Kevin: [unimpressed] "En-O-Gee Drinks?!"
Ed: [breaks the sign down] "Here, try some."
Eddy: [panicking] "Ed!" [seeing the scam fall apart] "Ed!"

Ed: [swatting flies] "Hey guys."
Eddy: "What is it, Ed?"
Ed: "I say the cheese is always twice the fence post."
Eddy: [giving Ed a dark look] "I wish I had a fence post, Ed."

Ed: [while he is in his own bathroom] "Now, what did I come in here for?"

Ed: "Is sitting naked in a wagon cool?"
Eddy: "No, skunk pits, it isn't."


Pop Goes the Ed[edit]

[The Eds are crawling on sand as if they're stranded in a desert]
Eddy: W-W-W-W-Water! [sand comes out of his mouth]
Edd: H2O, pleeeeeeeease!
Ed: Gravy!
Eddy: I'm frying. [All three Eds collapse] The fat lady just sang, boys.
Ed: My life is flashing before my eyes.
Eddy: What life?

[The boys are trying to mingle on different ends of the table]
Ed: Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain-Munchers?
Edd: The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques....
Ed: ...by hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths!
Edd: So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination...
Ed: ...from popping eyeballs and swelling brains!
Edd: The incision was made here to relieve the tremendous pressure.
Ed: But it was too late, his head exploded...
Edd ...with the slicing and cleaving, the gnashing and the severing...
Both [Off-screen]: ...bloody gory!
Ed: Aaaaaah! Oooooh! Eeeeeh! Aaaaaah!
Eddy: Guys! GUYS! Stop talking shop! I said "...mingle."!
Eddy: [at the party] "Wow! Everyone's here!"
Ed: "Looks like fun!"
Eddy: "Hang on, Mr. Happy!" [grabs Ed's swimsuit as Ed tries to climb the fence]

Eddy: [spying on a beehive] "Okay, boys. It's time for the welcome wagon to pay a visit."

Eddy: "Oh, yeah. Now for the secret of schmoozing, the rapture of rap, the snap, crackle, pop of cool. Hire a secretary, boys. Now this-" [Ed and Edd are peeking] "No peeking. This will be a day you'll never forget." [opens a box with swimsuits in it] "Pinch yourself, boys. Swimsuits of the Gods. Well, OK they're my brother's."
Edd: "My word. They look like napkins."
Ed: "Cool box, Eddy."

Sarah: "Get your big butt off the sprinkler!" [Ed sprinkles the water in Sarah's face] "Ooh, you!"
Jimmy: [People are getting ready to eat at the table] "Um, What is that?"
Rolf: "Stuffed pig's head. A favorite in my country."
Jimmy: "Well, I brought a quiche." [shows it closer to Rolf] "Mmmmm, yummy!"
Rolf: "It's the food of the..." [he babbles with his mouth using his finger] ...Bebebebebebebebububububub!" "THE PARTY IS CURSED!"
[Jimmy starts crying]
Sarah: "Don't worry, Jimmy. I like quiche."

[The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off]
Eddy: "Someone's coming! Act natural."
[The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive]
Sarah: "Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!"
Eddy: "No it isn't!"
Sarah: "Yes it is!"
Ed: "We are not moving."
Sarah: "ED! GET OUT!"
Eddy: "Hit the road!" [splashes at Sarah and Jimmy] "Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!"
Jimmy: "Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone."
Edd: "Well, that was close."
Nazz: [Nazz then comes over] "Hi Ed, Edd and Eddy. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you?" [a pause and the Eds swallowed hard]
Eddy: "Uh, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond."
Nazz: [laughter] "You're funny." [Nazz walks away]
Ed: "What third nipple? Show me where it is."
Eddy [While pointing to one of Ed's nipples and pinches Ed's skin]: "It's right here!"
Edd [points to the cake]: "Look..."
[A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some]
Eddy: [whilst dragging Ed back into the pool] "Get down! Are you nuts?!?"

  • Eddy: [outraged] " Huh? My pencil chest hairs! Urrrrrrrgh!"
    Kevin: Hey, check out the---!" [Eddy pulls up Kevin's shorts]

Sir Ed-a-Lot[edit]

[Nazz and Kevin notice Eddy and the car]
Nazz: "Wow, Eddy, cool car!"
Kevin: [whilst Eddy closes the window] "Hey dork! Whose car is it, you twerp?!"
[Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]

Eddy: [talking about Sarah] "Next thing you know she'll want a throne!"
[Sarah gets a throne]
Eddy: "A toast to my big mouth!" [Just as Jimmy rings the doorbell, Eddy tips his chair too far backwards and falls on the floor]

[Eddy tries to entertain Sarah and Jimmy as a jester. He tells a joke to his puppet named Eddo]
Eddy: "Hey, Eddo. What's a ghost's favorite lunch meat?" [He speaks as Eddo] "Boo-logna!"
Sarah: "YOU STINK!"

Ed: [watching in fear as Sarah holds her breath in a tantrum and goes through multiple color changes] "Eddy, just put on the dress! Aaaaah! she's leaking, Eddy!"

Sarah: [angrily] "As I was saying, I AM THE QUEEN!"
Ed: "And we are your "serviants"!"

[Eddy closed the door on "Prince Jimmy"]
Sarah: "Who was it!?"
Eddy: "The frog prince."

Sarah: "Prince Jimmy has arrived. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"
Edd: "Games?"
Eddy: "Urrrrrgh!"

A Pinch To Grow an Ed[edit]

[Edd shows Eddy his new device in growing tall]
Edd: "Behold, walking braces!"

Eddy: Nice boots, Mr. Inventor Smarty Pa- [is propelled into the garage ceiling and immediately falls back down in a daze] Nice pants, Mr. Smarty Boots Nice...
Edd: "Careful, Eddy, that button is very sensitive."

Sarah: "Ed, what are you doing?"
Ed: "Making Eddy tall."
Sarah: "I'm telling mom!"
Jimmy: "I wanna be tall too!"
Sarah: "Come on, Jimmy!"

Edd: [after Eddy swallows the inflatable raft] "Well, he's certainly wider!"

Read All About Ed[edit]

[Eddy is heard ranting at Rolf]
Rolf: [not understanding] "Hello, Eddy. Nice haircut."

Ed: [buried beneath a mountain of papers] "Hey look, my horoscope - 'New enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?"

Edd: [being threatened by a little yappy lap-dog] "Oh dear... NOT MY SOCKS!"

Edd: "Summer rains, you can never predict them."

Quick Shot Ed[edit]

Ed: [Notices a box of records and picks one up] Mmmm! I found a donut.
Eddy: [To Ed while reaching for a box above him] That's a record, chowderhead. [The box fell on Eddy's head and he fell with a thud]

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]
Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!
Eddy: Smile!

Eddy: "AAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad!"
The Eds: [screaming] "AAAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad! AAAAAAAH!"

Jonny: [sitting in bath with Plank, dazed by Eddy's camera flash] "D'you think they saw anything, Plank?"

Edd: [fretful & strung up on the Kankers' washing line] "I hope these clothes pegs don't leave marks!"

Kevin: [riding his bike down the hill to get the Eds] "I've got you dorks! Uh-oh!" [a garbage truck came out of nowhere on the road and Kevin fell into it]

An Ed Too Many[edit]

Ed: It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!
Eddy: Get off me, Ed! That's your belly!
Ed: [stares at his rumbling stomach for a few seconds and chuckles] I'm hungry.
Eddy: Let's go to my house and make some pizza!
Edd: I'll make the sauce!
Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.

Eddy: "Ed, quit eating all the cheese!"
Ed: [mouth full] "Cheese, Swiss?"
Eddy: "Pepperoni, Italian." [gives Ed a cheese grater]
Ed: "Slicer, aluminum!"

Eddy: "Hey, Sarah! Double D wrote you a poem!"
Sarah: "For me?" [reads the note] "'Get Lost'...Oh, that's so...HEY!" [She falls down. Ed and Eddy escape with Edd.]

Ed: "Um, Sarah? Do you think you should go outside and play?"
Sarah: [grabbing Ed] "BACK OFF, FISHFACE!"

Jonny: [gasps] "Look, Plank! A twenty dollar bill!"
Eddy: "But that's our luck!"
Edd: "That's always our luck!"

Edd: [dreamily] "With good luck the daily chore of applying fabric softener would become a thing of the past!"

Ed: [carrying huge cheese] "Big cheese!"
Eddy: "Talking to me, Ed?"

Jimmy: [going mental on the Eds] Where's my Sarah?!? [kicking Eddy in a meek manner] I want Sarah. I miss Sarah. Give her back!
Eddy: [to Double-D, ignoring Jimmy] Let's get this over with...

Ed-n-Seek[edit]

[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]
Jimmy: "...81...82...83..."
Eddy: "...24...25...26..."
Jimmy: "...27...28...29..."
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is their hiding spot.]
Eddy: "Ha! This is the best hiding spot!"
Ed: [with his mouth full] "We can stay here forever."
Edd: "At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes."

Eddy: "Tell me, Ed, what's it like having buttered toast for a brain?"

Rolf: [dunks his head into the dirt like an ostrich] "I cannot hear you, I am invisible! Goodbye, I have gone to the market!"

Look Into My Eds[edit]

Ed: "Look into the circley thing!"
Rolf: "You crazy?!"
Ed: [turning to Eddy] "It's not working, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Spin it, bean dip!"
Ed: "Thanks, Eddy!"

Edd: [hanging from a branch with Eddy, listening to the screams of the paying customers careening downhill in the Eds "bus"] "I'm afraid this may constitute a refund."

Lee: "Look at me! I'm a movie star!"
May: "I'm a TV star!"
Marie: "You've been canceled. I'm a TV star."

Ed: [when Kevin hypnotized as a monkey bites Ed's head] "AHH! Get him of me, Eddy! Get him off!"

Jonny: "What have you done, Plank is a mindless zombie!"

Ed: [returns to normal and does the splits] "Ow, my calves hurt."

Jimmy: "My pecs hurt."

Tag Yer Ed[edit]

Edd: [not at all happy with Eddy's vigorous training regime] "But, Eddy, muscle expanditure can lead to unsightly stretch marks."
Eddy: "Your brain's the only thing with stretch marks."

Eddy: "I love Chunky Puffs." [chunky milk pours out of the carton] "I hate chunky milk!"

Edd: "I'm not sure this is legal."
Eddy: "Sure it is! Cows are public property, like trees."

Edd: "Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder." [all three of them stare at the cow's udder]
Eddy: "I ain't touching that."

Rolf: [while dancing to the background music] "I love this music; it is so shiny!"

Ed: "Take me to your leader!" [charges the Kankers]
Eddy: "Give 'em the Burr-Head Bump, Ed!"
Ed: "I can't Eddy, my mom says I can't fight girls!"

Jonny: "Aw, Plank. You really let yourself go! No more sweets for you!"

Fool on the Ed[edit]

Ed: Something smells good!
Edd: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.
Eddy: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!

Edd: [recoiling from the handwritten Prank Master card in Ed's hand] "He's such a horrible printer."
Ed: "You hold it, Double D."
Edd: "But I have no idea where it's been!"

Eddy: [gleefully watching the fumes percolate through the stink bomb] "My brother showed me how to make it - before he went away."

Edd: [heading for the phone] "How do I look, Eddy?"
Eddy: "It's a phone call, Romeo."

Edd: [after the El Mongo Stink Bomb explodes] "I CAN'T BREATHE!"

A Boy and His Ed[edit]

Sarah: Urrrrgh! ED!!!
Ed: That sounded like Sarah.
Eddy: Nah, it was a truck backfiring.
Ed: [opening the door/drawbridge and walks through, falling into the water] "The door works."

Ed: "Hmm... Kevin's got a pretty fancy garage."
Edd: [referring to Kevin's bathroom] "Must be a built-in car wash."
The Eds: "Huh?"
Kevin: [seeing the Eds in the bathtub with him naked and taking a bath] "What are you dorks doing in here?"

Ed: [climbing into empty jawbreaker box] "Hey, free box! Hello, where did everybody go?"

Eddy: "Come on, guys. The mother load awaits!"
Edd: "Hurry Ed!"
Ed [still stuck in box]: "Anyone got a breath mint?" [He trips and falls]

Ed: [looking at sticky paper goo emerging from his pea shooter] "Oh no! My brain came out!"
Eddy: "That's too big to be your brain!"

Kevin: [mad and snatches the broom from Eddy] "I'll clean you! DORKS!"

Ed: [in Kevin's bathtub] "Could you please pass the soap?"

Ed: "If only I had brought my anti-gravity de-spackleizer to repixel the hot-and-cold tumbler on that lock."
Edd: [in all-out confusion] "Earth to Ed?"

Eddy: [blows a klaxon, then chants] "Kevin, Kevin, he's our man!"
Edd: "We can't do it-"
Eddy: "But Kevin sure can!"
[Eddy plays a bass drum six times, Ed bangs his head on trash can lids; Edd blows a noisemaker that makes the sound a cow makes. The drum rolls away as Ed brings two lids, with Eddy in it]
The Eds: [Ed moons, showing his butt with "IN" on his underwear, Eddy is standing upright with the "K" painted on his front body, Edd holds a sign "EV"] "Raaaaaah, Kevin!" [ Edd realizes they spelled it as "KINEV" and fixes it, then smiles.]
[Kevin holds up a sign that says "Dorks"]

Edd: "So what is the first thing you notice about Kevin here?" [Pointing at Kevin replica]
Eddy: "His chin is almost as big as yours?"
[Edd, embarrassed, puts his shirt over his chin.]

It's Way Ed[edit]

Ed: What's a fad?
Edd: When something insignificant becomes popular.
Eddy: Right! And we know the Eds are way insignificant!

  • Edd: [looking at Ed in full "fab freaker" gear] "Actually Eddy, it's hip, it's now, but it smells funny."

  • The Kids: "Whizz, whizz, it's time to whazz! Whizz, whizz, it's time to whazz!"

  • Eddy: [when he notices no-one is taking notice of them] "We're so ahead, we're invisible!"

[Fad Freaker has become popular, just as the Eds have given up trying]
Eddy: We're behind again!
Edd: Cheer up, Eddy! My mom always says fads go in a cycle. In another ten years, we'll be back in style.
Ed: I'm hungry!
Eddy: [Off-blank screen] "Shut up, Ed."

Laugh Ed Laugh[edit]

Eddy: What are you looking at, mono-brow? Yeah! You got one eyebrow! Hahahaha! And no chin!
Edd: Aww come on, Eddy-
Eddy: And you! What's with the hat?! What are you hiding?!

Eddy: Jonny! You dropped your face! I'll get you a new one!

Eddy: [stealing acorns and peanuts from squirrels] "Suckers!"
Edd: "Hey! Drop those nuts!"
[Eddy puts all the nuts in his mouth and runs away.]

[Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
Eddy: "WE'LL BUY A TRUCK-LOAD OF JAWBREAKERS!"
Ed: "What do you mean?"
Eddy: "What do you mean "What do you mean?"? With all this glorious..." [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] "What the-?! It's fake!"
[Edd put his finger to his mouth]
Ed: "I drew it myself!"
[Edd looks back and forth]
Ed: "Eddy's mad."
Edd: "Correct. He's back to normal."

Eddy: "Where's the key?"
Ed: "I ate it... discreetly."

Ed: [advancing on the chicken pox stricken Jimmy] "It's so gross! Can I touch it?"

Eddy: [crazy] "Will you marry me?"
Edd: "I'm not registered for that."
Eddy: "Then we'll elope!"

Jimmy: "Hello Mr. Postman. Are those eggs for me?"

Dawn Of The Eds[edit]

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Uhh, actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Uh, you don't know what you're talking about. What do you think, Ed? Ed? Ed? Ed? ED! HEY!!! What's clogged up your brain, Ed?
Ed: That! See? "Robot Rebel Ranch"!
The Eds: [amazed]: Ooooooh.
Ed: ""Marooned on a distant planet!". "Visitors in the void!". "No escape!!". Huh? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! [Zooms into 'Adults Only' on the poster twice] It's not fair! Aw, if only I were older.
Edd: Don't worry Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
Ed: Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out.

Ed: Only one was left alive after the horrible battle. Wounded and stranded, would he ever get off the robot planet? Would he ever get home? Would he? [He gets dragged off by Edd and Eddy] Oh no! Betrayed by his own comrades!
Eddy [Off-blank screen]: Ed, shut up.

  • Ed: "Whoa, this is the coolest movie!"
    Eddy: "Since I'm the most mature looking, I'll go in first! Double D can be my wife!"
    Edd: [makes disgusted sound] "Uhh! Ed's taller. I think he should."

Ed: "Come on, come on! Not much farther now."
Eddy: "You said that an hour ago, Ed!"
Edd: "What are we looking for again?"

[Ed sees Kankers have Kevin tied up]
Ed: "Stay back! Hideous life sucking aliens have captured a fellow space outlaw. Which of the three brave explorers will take the risk to save him?! I will save him! Full speed ahead!"

Eddy: "Hey, is this thing ready yet?"
Edd: "Well, actually Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of..."
[Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made]
Edd: "Eddy!"
Eddy: "There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?"
Edd: "Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one."
Eddy: "Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!"
Edd: "Well, Eddy, I still need to-"
Eddy: "Double D, fire the rocket!"
Edd: [sighs] "Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this."
[Puts pan on Eddy's head]
Eddy: "Oh, yeah."
Edd: [sighs] "Three, two, one, ignition!"
Eddy: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!"
[Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down]
Edd: "Oh! Better test the parachute." [presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute.] "Well, at least that worked."
[drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd]
Eddy: "Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!"
Edd: "It's a prototype!!"
Ed: "THE ROBOTS ARE COMING! THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!"


Vert-Ed-Go[edit]

Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy:It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Aaaah! [They both fall down]

Ed: "Wake up, Eddy! Stop being unconscious now."
[Ed slaps Eddy out of unconsciousness]
Eddy: "Ed! Ed, I'm awake!"

Eddy: "That bird just stole my gum! Hey!"

Eddy: [lamenting over his lost quarter] "When does this torment stop! It was in the palm of my hand! Who invented birds anyway?! What good are they?"

Eddy: "This is cool, having fun Ed?"
Ed: "Sure am, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Watch your step, big fella…!"
Ed: "Sure am, Eddy." [Ed falls out of tree house]

*[The Eds are attempting to make a clubhouse]
Kevin: "HEY, DORKS! GET OUTTA MY BACKYARD!"
Ed: "Weird, Kevin already has a clubhouse here."
Eddy: "Shut up, Ed."


Edd: "What's happening to Ed?"
[Ed is seen getting attacked by birds]

Ed: "Hey, guys! I may have already won ten thousand dollars!"

[Eddy hits tree with a hammer]
Edd: "Eddy, stop! Trees have feelings! What are you doing?!"
Eddy: "Building a clubhouse."

Jonny: "Hello, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Not now, Jonny! I'm thinking."
Jonny: "About the tree?"
Eddy: "Cut it out, Plank. Plank! Wood!"

Eddy: "Know where we could find more wood, Jonny Boy?"
Jonny: "Plank knows! He sees things."

Ed: "The maple has landed!"
[Eddy and Double D chuckle at Ed's joke]
Eddy: "I don't get it."

Edd: "I need help!"
Eddy: "OK, here comes Mr. Muscle."

[Eddy puts helmet on Ed]
Eddy: "Put this on. It'll protect your head. From what I don't know."


Who, What, Where, Ed[edit]

Ed: I got some eggs!
Eddy: Bring 'em over! I'm starving.
Ed: I'm Ed!

---

[Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]
Sarah: "Hey!"
Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah!"
Sarah: "My serve!" [She uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back. Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence.]
Sarah: "Don't ever touch my racket!"

Edd: "Ed! You're pitting the floor."
Ed: "Aw, no way Double D, not since I had my braces removed."

  • Rolf: "Has your brain turned to custard like half-price pastry, Ed-Boy?"

Ed: [Ed is running round the entire cul-de-sac asking for a cup of clams] "Can Eddy come out to play?"
Eddy: [exasperated] "I'm right beside you Ed!"
Ed: [surprised and pleased] "HI EDDY!"

Ed: "Banana flavor, Eddy, want a bite?"
Eddy: "Hold that thought..." [hits Ed with frying pan]

Ed: "Where do eggs come from?"
Rolf: "Let me show you exactly where the egg comes from--"
Edd: "NO! Um...Eggs come from chickens, Ed."
Ed: "Where does a chicken come from?"

Keeping Up With The Eds[edit]

Ed: My nose, it's flat! And somebody wrote on it!

Edd: Sounds like the cats are fighting.
Eddy: Nah, that's Jimmy.

Ed: THE GOAT ATE SARAH! THE GOAT ATE MY SISTER!
Eddy: Ed looking for the goat?
Edd: I think he found it.

[Eddy is waiting to ride Rolf's goat, Victor, in an attempt to mow all of the lawns in the cul-de-sac]
Eddy: "Quit stalling, goat!"

Eddy: "Oh Ed, doesn't that lawn mower look like the Thermo-Destructo Wibble-Whacker from 'Space Leech IV'?"

Rolf: "The 'passing of the goat' continues to be a staple export of my country."

Ed: [laughing in the mud] "Victor likes me!"
Eddy: [cheesed off in the mud] "Goats like leafy vegetables."

Eddy: "Don't worry! Mowing the lawn is simple! Even Ed here can do it!"
Ed: "Because I am simple!"


Eds-Aggerate[edit]

[Ed is making giant foot prints.]
Ed: "How am I doing, Eddy? Where's Eddy, Double-D?"
[Ed falls into a puddle.]
Edd: "Stuck to your foot like an old gum wrapper."

Edd: [watching Eddy fixing a heavy armchair onto the Ed Land "Lawn Chairs Orbit Earth Ride"] "You're tampering with the laws of weight and balance Eddy...Eddy?" [sighs] "Ah, ignorance must be bliss."

Eddy: "We the Eds are smarter than-"
Ed: [interrupting] "Onions?"
Eddy: "No, Ed."
Ed: "Buttered toast? A bus driver?"

Rolf: "My father walked a hundred miles with a mule, two dogs and a shoe on his back."
Sarah: "Big deal!"

[After Jimmy tripped in Ed's big footprints]
Rolf: "Look at the size of this footprint, I haven't seen feet this big since my great-grandmother!"

Eddy: [covered in muck] "Kicukawawa-sakatagagaga-kickchukamama!"

Jonny: [whispering] "Psst. Eddy. There's a hammer in the cake." [normally] "Coming, Kevin!"

Oath to an Ed[edit]

Eddy: I had a gerbil like him once.
Edd: Why is Ed acting like a washing machine?

Ed [on Rolf's pruning shears]: It looks like the head of the monster from 'I Was A Teenage Appetiser From Planet Sushi: The Second Coming'!
Rolf: No shears for you, Potato Ed-boy!
Rolf: [after catching Eddy with a net] "And that is how to save a helpless kitty from a tree! Easy, 1-2-3! Thank you, spoilt Eddy!"

Eddy: "Look Rolf, please. Give us one more chance. Please."
Rolf: "Yes, one more chance now, let me finish my beet!"

Edd: [fiddling nervously with neckerchief] "Oh dear, a new neurosis."

Rolf: [after the microwave exploded and drenched Rolf and the Eds with food] "Such waste and disrespect to the fast food stuffers is not allowed in the Urban Rangers! But, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge."

Rolf: "Those Ed-Boys are crazy like chickens. Except they lay no eggs! Ah, candied beets to calm my nerves."

A Glass Of Warm Ed[edit]

  • Edd: [He is watching Eddy rummage through Ed for milk] "Euuuuuuugh!"

Edd [terrified]: Oh, dear. An intruder, eating all the food out of my refrigerator - in bare feet - so unsanitary!

Edd: Ed! Get back here, and close this refrigerator door! ED!!

Edd: Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?
Ed: Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed.

Edd: "Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all it's good people of their food!"
Eddy: [unmoved] "Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that."

Jimmy: "Egad, what is that hideous odor? Santa?"

Edd: "I hope he doesn't wake Jimmy. This is not good."
Eddy: "This is rich, Double D! Have a front row seat to the greatest show on Earth!" [he takes out a bag of popcorn and stuffs some in his mouth]
Edd: "Are you going to share those?"

Eddy: "I can't figure out where he's putting it all."

Flea Bitten Ed[edit]

Ed: "How's it look, Eddy?"
Eddy: "Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!"
Ed: "No, I put the sign on the garage!"
Eddy: "Just flip it over, Ed."
Ed: "Flip it? Got it!"
[Ed flips the entire garage over]
Ed: "I flipped it, Eddy!"
Edd: "Well, I can read the sign..."

Ed: "I feel funny... ah... ah..." [holds his nose] "AH-CHOO!" [Eyes bulge] "I sneezed." [Gets rash] "I'm MUTATING!"

Edd: Eddy, Ed is showing strange symptoms. I'm concerned.
Eddy: I've been concerned about Ed since the first day I met him.

Jonny: Plank, I told you bunnies would take over the world, and they HAVE! Lucky we prepared for this day, huh, Plank?

Ed: [laughs] "Look at me. I am a pigeon! A big pigeon!"
Eddy: "Don't lay an egg, birdbrain!"

Eddy: "Rolf's got tons of stinky animals."
Edd: "They're absolutely filthy!"
Ed: "Yes I am."

Rolf: "You must be poking my eggplants! That would give me more time to watch the curd rise on the cheese of my grandfather's vats!"

Eddy: "Anything good on Double D?"
Edd: [scouring TV listings] "Ooh there's a documentary on mollusks."
Ed: "Boring! How about 'Bot: Defender of the Bullyah People'?"

Edd: "We need to protect you from those allergies, Ed."
Ed: [Eddy holds him by his shirt] "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care."


Button Yer Ed[edit]

[Ed has just walked through Edd's screen door]
Edd: Ed, the screen door!
Ed: Let's watch it.

Ed: "(gasping) My ears are broken!"

Rolf: "Tell me how good my fish sticks are please. Huh? HUH?!?"
Edd: [wincing] "Curse my polite ways" [chews delicately with watering eyes] "A gastronomic coup, Rolf."

Rolf: "Be careful Eddy, do not taunt the doodle!"

Edd: "It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk!"
Ed: [yanks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head, Eddy squeals in pain] "Eddy can't talk!"

Avast Ye Eds[edit]

Ed: Captain Eddy says to take their dough.
[Jimmy and Jonny start to pay]
Jonny: Nice hat, Ed!
(Ed throws paper and confettis all over)
Ed: Captain Eddy says only two suckers at a time.

Ed: [pushing Edd hard in the tire swing] "Doughnuts are made for dunking!"
Edd [uncomfortable]: "Ed! Eddy!"
Ed: [pushes the tire swing harder] "Dunk the doughnut!"
Edd: "I think I'm going to be ill!"
Eddy: [impressed with Edd's swinging] "I'd pay a quarter for that! Higher, Ed!"

Kevin: "Are you dorks up to something?"
Eddy: "What? Uh... we were just uh... launching our new luxury cruise line! For a small fee, we'll offer two lucky passengers a relaxing cruise. Look how relaxed Double D is. Who's in for the thrill of a lifetime?"

Eddy: "Is this thing on?"
Edd: "Eddy, just speak into the mic."
Eddy: "What? This?"
Edd: "Yes!"
Eddy: "Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of Eighty-Eight fingers Eddward."
Edd: "This instrument is so annoying." [starts to play the instrument perfectly]

Jimmy: "Eddy, you've run out of refreshments! And this rubber tube is giving me a rash."
Eddy: "Hey kid, I'm on my break, d'you mind?"

Eddy: "Ed! Fire up the engine!"
Ed: "Roger walnut, Eddy! Jump in!" [jumps down from crow's nest] "Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet..."
Eddy: "Faster, Ed!"
Ed: "Kick my feet faster, kick my feet faster, kick my feet faster…"

Eddy: "Ed, do something!"
Ed: "Ahoy!" [Ed pulls on his ear like a starting rope on an outboard motor, after two tries he fires up the "motor"]

Rolf: "Hello, Ed-boys! When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat!" [Edd hands Rolf the deflated inner tube] "What? Huh?"
Edd: "I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable."
Eddy: "Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress."
Ed:"I'm stuffed!"
Jimmy: [floating by in the background] "Hair emergency! Hair emergency!"

Season 2[edit]

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Ed[edit]

Ed: Hello, my name is Ed.

Ed: Okay I give up! It's not fun being the last human! So can I be a bumblebee?

Rolf: Are they from this planet?
Kevin: No. They're from the Land of the Dorks.

Eddy: See that hat? He hides his gills under it.
Ed: MUST TOUCH GILLS!

Ed: Basement!
Eddy: Foot! [knees Ed in the groin]

Ready, Set...Ed![edit]

[The Eds' rocket car has taken a hairy ride down an obstacle course, leaving the Ed's in pain]
Ed: I think I swallowed a turtle.
Eddy: What country are we in?
Edd: We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.
Ed: Can I wear a dress again? Haha!

One plus One Equals Ed[edit]

Edd: Don't look now, but there's a cow floating overhead. I feel uncomfortable.

Eddy: A three-headed Rolf. Yawn.

Edd: Did you eat the sun again, Eddy?
Ed: Can you guess what I'm doing?
Eddy: Get off my foot, Ed!

Knock, Knock, Who's Ed?[edit]

Know It All Ed[edit]

[The Eds are playing in a junkyard]
Eddy: I'm the King of the castle, and you're a dirty--
Ed and Edd: Dog pile!

Ed: I must have blood! Let me bite your [Eddy pushes Edd]

Eddy: What we have here....is a squirt gun!
Edd: Please. A 'squirt gun'?
Eddy: Yeah! A- A Canadian squirt gun!
Ed: Canadians are weird!

Ed: Plank reminds me of fresh-cut Spring flowers, spewed across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon!

Dear Ed[edit]

Jonny: Stay back, Salty! He's mad, I tell you, MAD!! Oh my...

Rolf: I was born to be wild, but the cage was too small.

Hands Across Ed[edit]

Rolf: Hallo. I will be performing my country's traditional Dance of the Hairless Otter-
Eddy: Next! No budget for subtitles....

Floss Yer Ed[edit]

Ed: Can I shave them?
Edd: Dear, Ed. You don't shave coconuts, you eat them.
Ed: Like report cards?

In Like Ed[edit]

Ed: Um, Double D? [holds up coat hanger] What's this do?
Edd: That's just a coat hanger, Ed.
Ed: Oh. Mum's the word.

Ed: Do not fight The Claw!

Eddy: Nice little soiree, huh, Rolfy-boy?
Rolf: You have an invitation, overdressed Ed-boy?
Eddy: [conspiritorially] The crow caws at midnight.
Rolf: And the cat sours the basil! Rolf would love to talk politics but I must see your invitation!
Eddy: No problem, stretch... Look! Who's that hairy beast eating all the dip?!
Rolf: Nana...?

Who Let The Ed In?[edit]

Ed: I was swordfighting with my friend, Jib!

[The kids have spotted Eddy's fake prize-grabbing machine].
Jimmy: Did it fall off a truck?
Sarah: That's how my brother was born!
Kevin: Prize grabbers are cool.
Eddy: Whoa; that was fast.

[Ed is holding gift boxes that seeminly appeared out of nowhere.]
Ed: Jib made you presents!
Kids: Presents?
Eddy: I hate Jib!

Rolf: Tell me the ways of Jib! Rolf is confused!

Rambling Ed[edit]

Rolf: THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!

Homecooked Eds[edit]

To Sir With Ed[edit]

Key To My Ed[edit]

Edd: [bent out of shape after being punted by Eddy, to Rolf] "...before total social abandonment."
Rolf: You need to eat more fiber, head-in-sock Ed boy!

Honor Thy Ed[edit]

Scrambled Ed[edit]

Edd: [repeated line] Sleepy, sleepy sleepy...

Urban Ed[edit]

Eddy [pretending to drive a car]: What is this, a funeral?! Let's go, Grandma!

Ed: Let's drive to the city, fellas!
Edd: We're too young to drive, Ed.
Ed: My dad has a shovel.
Eddy: If we can't get to the city, then let's bring the city to the cul-de-sac!
Edd: I suppose I'd better find some tape.....
Ed: Not to mention a duck!

Eddy: Pigeons don't go 'oink', Ed!
Ed: I'm a gazelle! Oink!

Stop, Look, and Ed[edit]

[Ed is smacking his face against some mud]
Ed: I'm a woodpecker. [continues to smack his face into the mud] Except with dirt.
Eddy: (out of the grass) Let's find some more signs! (runs off)

Eddy: Hey, Rolf! All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Rolf: Who is this Jack? I know no Jack!
Edd: Don't listen to him, Rolf! Eddy only wishes to eviscerate social order as we know it! [turns to see Ed riding Rolf's pig Wilfred down the sidewalk]
Ed: Ed on a pig!
Edd: Ed, you can't do that!

Jonny: [streaking] Feel the wind, Plank!

Rent-a-Ed[edit]

[Jonny's house is destroyed after Ed broke a support beam]
Kevin: You guys are in so much trouble!
Eddy: Tell me about it, I lost my money.

Rolf: Close the curtain, as it is colder than my nana's wooden leg!

Edd: Let's just do the right thing, Eddy, and work for the rest of our lives to buy Jonny a new home.
Eddy: Yeah, right. They'll never catch....THE FLYING EDUARDO BROTHERS!
Edd: You're still wearing that thing...?

Shoo Ed[edit]

[The Eds are in a shed, attempting to make Jonny the most annoying person in the cul-de-sac. Ed laughs as he pulls down a bed reminiscent of Frankenstein. Edd and Eddy look at Jonny, who's wearing a suit]
Edd: A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?
Eddy: It was the most annoying thing I could find.
Edd: My father wears a suit!
Eddy: Exactly.

Ed In A Halfshell[edit]

Mirror Mirror On the Ed[edit]

[Ed is seen standing on thin air]
Edd and Eddy: Come back, Ed!
Ed: I can jump it, guys!
Edd and Eddy: No, Ed!! [They pull him back before he could even jump]
Edd: Now what?
Eddy: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Ed: Can I think?
Edd and Eddy: NO!

Eddy: [pretending to be Edd] Oh dear! The insanitary! My skinny arms cannot bear the weight! Oh, I know! I'll move it with my BRAIN!

Ed: I have caused discomfort, 'cos I'm Eddy!

Edd: Gravy!
Ed: Nah, come on, Double-D, I don't say 'gravy' all the time.
Edd: Buttered toast, then!

Hot Buttered Ed[edit]

Edd: [About to make a shadow puppet] Did you know shadow puppetry was one of the oldest forms of entertainment? [Made a shadow puppet of a skeleton]

Ed: The sound of a babbling brook makes me want to babble, Double D.

Eddy: My kingdom for sunscreen....

High Heeled Ed[edit]

Eddy: Great, we're stuck with two girls and a Jimmy.

Ed: My sister likes to watch me eat custard from my belly button.
(The other Eds stare at him in shocked silence.)

Ed: Spending an extended period of time in female company can be physically disorientating and mentally confusing.
Eddy: What was that?!
Edd: Ed's trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual moment within the confines of his brain....
Eddy: Ed? Is that you?
Ed: ......HUG ME!
Eddy: Well that didn't last very long!!
Ed: HUG!

Fa-La-La-La-Ed[edit]

[Ed exposes the scam to the kids]
Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed...
[Edd breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him]
Ed: There, there, Double D. Santa forgives.

Eds: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Give us cash or we'll never stop singing! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Eds: [singing at Rolf's front door] We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas-- [Rolf opens the door wearing festive native clothing. Confused, Edd and Eddy stop singing, while Ed continues]
Ed: We wish you a merry Christmas, so give us some cash! [Wilfred oinks]
Rolf: No cash. A fine strip of bacon, yes? [puts a strip of bacon into the Eds' cash jar]

Cry Ed[edit]

Ed: Look up my nose and see your future.

Edd: I've abandoned all confidence, morals, and integrity, Eddy. An actor I shall be.

Jonny: Plank says clothespins are known to attack in the blink of an eye!

Rolf: Rolf has seen this meatball! It stalks Wilford in the dead of night!

Season 3[edit]

Wish You Were Ed[edit]

[Ed falls into a hole Rolf has dug]
Rolf: [to Eddy] Your village idiot has fallen in Rolf's hole. A celebration, I say!
Eddy: Eh, sure, why not?

Momma's Little Ed[edit]

Eddy: See? This is Mommies note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference!
Ed: That is so lame, Eddy.
Eddy: And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?
Ed: Dare to compare! [Shows Eddy an identical sticky note to the one written by Edd's parents.]
Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?
Ed: Yes I will.

Ed: We can be like brothers and share the same bathroom!

Ed: Don't make me use this! [Holds up a measuring cup]
Lee: What are you going to do? Bake us a cake?
[Ed shoves the Kankers' heads into the cup, then runs away]
Ed: Wait for me, Eddy!

Once Upon An Ed[edit]

Eddy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Ed: I don't have any feeling at all.

For Your Ed Only[edit]

Jonny: Wow. China, just like in the cartoons!
[The Eds try to escape Sarah using bubble gum, but Edd can't keep up with the chewing]
Ed: Have mercy, child from the netherworld!

It Came From Outer Ed[edit]

[Edd is walking towards the 'X'; carrying a big rock he's about to place it on. He stops and sees a 'Q' on the ground instead of an 'X']
Edd: Q? [To Ed] Ed, Where's the 'X'?
Ed: Uh, A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G. Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?

Kevin: Where's Mister Yum-Yum?
Eddy: Mister Yum-Yum? Who, Ed?

3 Squares And An Ed[edit]

Eddy: A comedian, huh?

Eddy: What happened to the stairs??
Ed: My parents took them down because I am grounded!!
Edd: That's disturbing!

Dueling Eds[edit]

Eddy:What could be more important than "Master Eddy"?
Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!
Edd: They say, in order to gain knowledge, one must seek it.

Dim Lit Ed[edit]

[Jonny's head is stuck between two branches]
Edd: Jonny, not again!
Jonny: Yep, this happens to me a lot, Double D.
Edd: Didn't you learn from your past mistakes? I mean, it's just common sense.
Jonny: [long pause] I guess not! [giggles]

Kevin: Is this thing supposed to be dead?
Eddy: The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uhh... [nudges Edd]
Edd: ...Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents!
Jonny [lays down a quarter]: SOLD!
Edd [stares at the quarter]: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complaining?

Ed: Pink belly!

Kevin: This is so stupid.
Nazz: Come on, Kevin, don't you want to win that jawbreaker?
Kevin: What for? I got a garage full of jawbreakers, rememeber?
Nazz: ....This is stupid.

Will Work for Ed[edit]

[Ed tries to peel the potato and Rolf slaps him several times.]
Rolf: NINCOMPOOP! MUST I HOLD YOUR HAND?!
Ed: Nope. Went before we got here, boss.

Eddy: Rolf's a jerk! Ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk! Ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk-
Jonny: We hate broccoli!
Eddy: .....Ain't gonna work!

[Rolf shows up with a goat on his shoulders.]
Rolf: Tell Rolf the progress of the laborers, Turkey Eyes.
[He points to Edd, who has a clean and tidy work station.]
Ed: Well, yeah. Let's see here, boss. This guy I got no problems with.
Edd: "Double D waiting for orders, Turkey Eyes, sir."
[Ed points at Eddy, who has a dirty work station and is attempting to take the chicken's temperature.]
Ed: But then there's the sad-sack, boss. A real slowpoke, trouble with a capital 'R'.
[Eddy kicks the chicken coop in frustration and a rooster comes out and chases him.]
Eddy: Help! I hate chickens!
Ed & Rolf: [in unison] HEY, NINCOMPOOP!
[Both look at each other, surprised.]
Rolf: [patting Ed on the head] You've learned well, Turkey Eyes.
[Rolf leaves as Eddy continues being chased by the rooster.]
Eddy: Stop the chicken, Ed!
Ed: Nincompoop! I'm deducting your pay 'cause you're a nincompoop! Pretty good, huh, Double D?

Ed, Ed and Away[edit]

[Eddy is fighting Sarah and Jimmy over the balloon]
Eddy: Gimme that balloon, Sarah!
Sarah: [Mocking Eddy] "Gimme, Gimme" never gets!

Edd: There. Are you happy now, Eddy?
Eddy: No. I WANTED TO POP IT!

Kevin: I'll get you, dork! After I find some ointment! Ouch!
Eddy: What's with that? I did everything my dad does! How come he sells stuff? Maybe it's the tie!
Edd: Well it certainly couldn't be the fact we manufactured the biker from HAND-ME-DOWN KITCHENWARE! TEN HOURS OF HARD WORK! AND FOR WHAT?
Ed: To fleece the masses!
Eddy: Check's in the mail, Ed.

X Marks the Ed[edit]

Eddy: (high pitched voice) WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HEAD?!
Ed: It is so puny!
Edd: This is worthy of a noble prize!
Eddy: WHAT'CHA DO TA ME YOU QUACK?!?
Rolf: Quack? I am Rolf.
Eddy: YOU'RE A QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!!
Ed: My turn for shrinkage, Rolf!
Eddy: FIX ME!!!
Edd: Tell me!
Ed: Shrink me!

From Here to Ed[edit]

[Ed shows Edd and Eddy some disgusting objects, as a weapon to use on Kevin]
Edd: Ed, are you aware that you have a turtle on your head?
Ed: Yep.
Edd: Where did you exhume this from, Ed?
Ed: Brick-a-brack from under my bed, Double D.

Ed or Tails[edit]

[Eddy is attempting to sell his clown scam to Jimmy]
Eddy: Are you un- unconshi... (shows the word to Edd)
Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.
Eddy: Dead from the neck up?

Boys Will Be Eds[edit]

Kevin [in thought]: She's so radical!
Eddy [in thought]: She can't keep her eyes off me!
Edd [in thought]: Her hair is so clean... And not fly-away at all!
Ed [thinking and echoing]: Hello? Echo! MY NAME IS ED!
Eddy Nazz would love a new bike.
Ed Or a new toilet?!

Gimme Gimme Never Ed[edit]

Edd: That's it, Jimmy. Distribute your weight. Balance.
Jimmy: That tickles!
Edd: Yes! And now try standing.
Jimmy: Don't let me fall!
[Jimmy eventually manages to stand up on the wooden board inside Edd's pool.]
Jimmy: Hot diggety dog! I'm surfing!
Eddy: Not quite there, mini-kahuna, but if you're brave enough, we at Ed's Surf School will teach you how to flip the lip, hang ten, or shave the barrel, for an additional fee, of course. [He opens a soda.]] Can you handle it?
Jimmy: I'm stoked! Teach me! Teach me! [He starts to lose balance.] AH! Don't let go! Don't let go!
Edd: I wouldn't think of it, Jimmy!

Jonny: You guys have more fun than a barrel full of monkeys! What's that, Plank? You want to surf, too? Why, you'd swell up bigger than a breadbox!

Jonny: Too bad! Plank was just aching to try a new ride! [He laughs.]] One time Plank went on a roller coaster 119 times in a row. Whew! I chucked biscuits after that, didn't I, buddy? Why, Plank spent his whole allowance that day; a regular Rockefeller.
Eddy: Plank gets an allowance?! Have I got a ride for you!
[He grabs Plank and tosses him in he air.]
Jonny: Plank?
Eddy: Nice ride, huh, Plank? That'll be 25 cents!
Jonny: Plank says you throw like a toothpick, Eddy! He won't pay for kiddie rides!
Eddy: Well, you tell that doorstop Eddy's got a ride that will round his corners! And it's cheap, cheap, cheap!
Jonny: Plank says your mouth runs faster than six-month-old cheese, Eddy!
Eddy: I'll take that as a yes!
'Edd: I object! My skin is still prune from that surf school fiasco!
Eddy: Ed, who are we to deny Plank the thrill of a lifetime? Let's get to work. [He hands Plank to Ed.] Who says money can't buy happiness?
Ed: [to Plank] Hello! My name is Ed!

My Fair Ed[edit]

Ed and Eddy: [chanting] FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!

Rock-A-Bye Ed[edit]

Ed: I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind!

O-Ed Eleven[edit]

The Luck of the Ed[edit]

Ed: I was walking on the sidewalk until I saw a bug. Hello bug. I walked up to this tree and hit my head on this branch. Ow! Sorry, it was this one. Ow! And I gazed at the stars [Ed gazes at the stars]
Edd: Ed, don't do that.
Ed: And then I fell into the sewer.
Eddy: A SEWER!?! [sticks his head into the sewer] My precious magazines fell in the sewer?

Ed... Pass It On...[edit]

Brother, Can You Spare an Ed[edit]

Ed: Sarah has trusted me with the money, so fudge I must buy it with!

The Day the Ed Stood Still[edit]

Rolf: Please ask Rolf's family and livestock to remember the son of a shepherd.

Edd: What have I done?! I've actually created a monster!

An Ed In the Bush[edit]

See No Ed[edit]

Rolf: [Sees a rubber glove with cotton glued on it] Why someone glue fluff to this rubber glove? Is the world coming to an end?

Is There an Ed in the House?[edit]

An Ed Is Born[edit]

Edd: If I were you, I'd write a book. A biography of sorts.
Eddy: You don't get out much, do you?
Ed: If I were me, I'd make a home movie.
Eddy: That's it! Double D, you can be cameraman.
Edd: But Eddy, we need a-
Eddy: I'll be exec. producer, exec. director and, of course, the star.
Edd: We need a-
Eddy: Ed can be....Ed.
Edd: As I was saying, we need a-
Ed: [throwing a camcorder into Edd's hands] Camera, stat.
Edd: Edd, why do you keep a camera in your dryer?
Ed: What?

Ed: Boy, Eddy, you deserve a shake for that.
Edd: I must say; if I were your brother, I'd be very impressed.

Ed: [having just tried to eat the camera] I can't wait to see that part, Double D!
Edd: Yes, well, let's nod and say we did, Ed.

Season 4[edit]

If It Smells Like an Ed[edit]

Don't Rain on My Ed[edit]

Jonny: Plank wants to know if he can live on Mars!

Once Bitten, Twice Ed[edit]

Eddy: Approach me, mortal, for I am the great Baron O'Beef-Dip!

One Size Fits Ed[edit]

Pain in the Ed[edit]

Ed Overboard[edit]

One of Those Eds[edit]

[Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn]
Kevin: Dude.
Sarah: What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!?
Edd: Crude, yet effective.

They Call Him Mr. Ed[edit]

Eddy: I almost up-chucked.

For the Ed, By the Ed[edit]

[Plank is hailed as the neighbourhood's new king]
Eddy: If anyone's "king" around here, it's me!

Little Ed Blue[edit]

Ed: Away with you, unwanted pesterers!
Sarah: ED! You can't kick me out! I LIVE HERE TOO!!!
Ed: [yelling at Sarah] SO MOVE!!!

Edd: Ed certainly is long in the face, Eddy.
Eddy: That's because he doesn't have a chin, Einstein!
Ed: [yelling at Eddy] SHUT UP!!!
Eddy: [yelling at Ed] YOU SHUT UP!!!
Edd: Eddy, please! Ed's having a bad day!
Eddy: Ed's a wuss. [yelling at Ed] Hey, rumpled forehead! I'll give you three to GET OVER YOURSELF! ONE! Smile, you miserable...! TWO! Snap out of it, ya...
Ed: [yelling at Eddy] YOU TORMENT ME!
Eddy: I'm hurt now.

Ed: Touch me again and I will squash you!

Eddy: [yelling] THAT'S IT! I've had it up to here WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! Crack a smile! Bust a gut! BE HAPPY!!! [slaps Ed] Get over it!
Ed: [screaming at the top of his lungs] BIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TROUUUUUBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!

A Twist of Ed[edit]

The Good Ole Ed[edit]

Ed: An elephant never forgets, but I forget what the elephant remembered.

[Ed has found a spatula]
Ed: Oh look, A flipper!
Eddy: It's a spatula, stupid.

Your Ed Here[edit]

Edd: If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.
Eddy: Okay.
Edd: Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion. [Eddy stares blankly at him for a while]
Eddy: [laughter] Marion! That's a girl's name!

Thick as an Ed[edit]

Edd: Ed, I insist you remove that jacket immediately!
Ed: ....Okay. If you give me your hat!
Edd: My hat? Why, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard! Absolutely not!
Eddy: Give him the stupid hat so we can get some frogs.
Edd: The point is, my hat doesn't smell!
Ed: Oh yes it does.
Edd: No, it does not! You're just saying that because I said your jacket stank!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: You've got a repulsive, fermented detachment of cheese in your pocket, Ed!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Odiferous curdcoat!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: Rancid roquefort rag!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: PUTRID PARMESAN POCKET!
Ed: Oh yeah?! STINKY HAT!
Edd: COAT OF CANTANKEROUS CAMEMBERT!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!
Eddy: SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!

Sorry, Wrong Ed[edit]

Robbin' Ed[edit]

Eddy: A techno-gizmo like this could cost you up to a million bucks, but for this special offer, you can have it for the low, low price of 25 cents!

A Case of Ed[edit]

Ed [Eating one of Edd's shoes]: Mm. How long have you been a size two?
Edd: Size two? But I've always worn a size five shoe, doctor.
Eddy: Sounds like another sympton to me.

Hand-Me-Down Ed[edit]

Jimmy: I am Jimmy! Hear me roar!

Ed: Baby sister is all cuddly and sweet like Dad's bushy ear!

Run for Your Ed[edit]

May: What number do you dial for 911?
[Lee throws May against the wall and smashes the telephone.]

Ed: [Holds up the dish soap] I despense with you disgusting detergent of the deep. [Throws away the dish soap] For I Ed can remove the bottle with sticky tape.
Edd: Sticky tape?
Eddy: [Gets up] Stick? You're already stuck, stupid.
Ed: And your point is...?

Edd: OH, LORD! THAT SHIP-IN-A-BOTTLE BELONGS TO THE KANKERS!
Eddy: KANKERS?! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

Stiff Upper Ed[edit]

[Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to "sink"]
Eddy: What?!? We're sinking?!
Edd: Lifeboats! I FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!!
Ed: It wasn't me!

Here's Mud in Your Ed[edit]

Rolf: Today Rolf is forced to celebrate his country's traditional Thank You to the Noble Guardian Pigeon!

Stuck in Ed[edit]

[Eddy finds out they're too late to get free Jawbreakers,and attacks Ed]
Eddy: This is your fault! Admit it! [quieter] If you do, I promise not to leave bruises.

Take This Ed and Shove It[edit]

Old Jonny: Hey Eddy! Nice day isn't it? Whatcha staring at? Did Nazz forget her pants again?

Season 5[edit]

Mission Ed-Possible[edit]

Eddy [tangled in the antenna above the trailer]: Just like our report cards, you've failed!

Every Which Way But Ed[edit]

Ed: (while spinning) We were standing next to a... hole in the wall... right after a big... boom, remember?

Cool Hand Ed[edit]

[Edd has refused to partake in Eddy's plan of breaking out of school]
Eddy: Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall.
Edd: You wouldn't dare!!
[Ed then sharpens a pencil using his mouth]

Too Smart For His Own Ed[edit]

Edd: [looking in horror as Eddy tears up a book]
What are you doing to that poor defenseless dictionary?
Eddy: Ed's cramming for the spelling bee!
[Eddy continues to stuff pages into Ed's ears]
Eddy: Feeling smarter, Ed?
Ed: [cheerfully spewing out loose sheets as he speaks] What?

Pick an Ed[edit]

Edd: Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?
Ed: Every day of my life, Double D.
'edd: every day of my life, double d.


This Won't Hurt An Ed[edit]

[Ed has brought Eddy over to the medical room for an injection]
Eddy: Hey! Let me go!! Untie me!
Ed: I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D!
Edd: The nurse thanks you, Eddy.
Eddy: Oh Yeah?! What for?
Edd: For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.
[Eddy sees the nurse getting the needle ready, and soon has the fear of them himself]
Eddy: Oh no you don't! Not me!
[Eddy tries to run away, only to be caught by Ed]
Ed: Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after.
Eddy: Mommy.
[Ed drags Eddy into the medical room]
Kevin: Sweet.
Eddy [whilst hesitantly getting his arm out for the nurse]: But... No! Don't do it! I'm too young!
Ed: Needle!
[Ed runs out of the medical room, but comes back to pick up his lollypop]
Eddy: I hate Needles!
[Kevin is heard laughing whilst Ed walks off with his lollypop in his mouth]

Tight End Ed[edit]

[attempting to cheer everyone up at the loss of the game]
Edd : It's not how you win or lose, it's how you play the game!

'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place[edit]

Edd: It's all fun and games 'til Ed loses conciousness, Eddy.

All Eds Are Off[edit]

Eddy is trying to goad Edd into losing his bet of not using multi-syllable words
Eddy: Let's see here... Con-she-enn-shus?.... what kinda bunk word is that...?
Edd looks uncomfortable, trying not to correct Eddy.
Eddy: Ohhhh... here's another one... temper-a-mental.....
Edd fidgets
Eddy: I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid!
Edd: STOP!!!!!! (Snatches the dictionary away, holds it protectively.)
Edd: I will not tolerate your singlehanded annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy!
(Edd pauses in horror, drops the dictionary, and covers his mouth, realizing he just lost his bet. Eddy just grins, as if it were too easy.)

Smile For the Ed[edit]

Ed: Don't touch that dial, kids!
Edd: Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.
Kevin: Bummer.
Eddy: You heard the man.
Edd: Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?"

Run, Ed, Run[edit]

Ed [to Eddy]: The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Eddy! It hit me on the head! It did!
Eddy:You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.
Edd: This isn't possible!
[A 'piece' of the sky falls]
Eddy: Ed was Right, The Sky is Falling!
Ed: Thank you very much.
Eddy: So, now what do we do.
Edd: I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.

A Fistful Of Ed[edit]

Sarah: Jimmy, are you crazy? He's going to turn you into cold cuts!
Jimmy: Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, Sarah!

Look Before You Ed[edit]

Jimmy [frightfully]: Winter scares me.
Sarah [joyfully]: Winter time's fun, Jimmy!

Big Picture Show[edit]

Eddy's Brother: Park don't open 'til noon.
Eddy: I told you he's a whiz at tellin' time!
Eddy's Brother: Pipsqueak?
Eddy: Bro!
Eddy's Brother: Mom and Dad know you're here?
Eddy: As if!
Eddy's Brother: Anyone know you're here?
Eddy: Only these chumps who chased us here!
Eddy's Brother: Just a sec. Aren't those ankle biters from the cul-de-sac?
Eddy: Yeah. And they want to beat me up, all for nothin'.
Kevin: He's lookin at you, Rolf. Later.
Eddy's Brother: All for nothin', huh? Still the trouble makin' Eddy, I see.
Eddy: [awkward laugh] Stop it, bro.
Ed: I smell my fingers after I eat cheese.
Eddy: ....Um, I told the guys you'd put us up. Ed and Double D.
Edd: I have big experie- Uh, whale- uh..... [faints]
[Eddy's brother and Eddy laugh]
Eddy's Brother: Why's your girlfriend wearing a sock on her head?
Eddy: Girlfriend?
Eddy's Brother: Yeah, sure. I'll help you out.
Eddy: Really? Oh bro! What would I do without you? You are so my hero, bro!
Ed: Happy place, Double D! Happy place!
Jimmy: Isn't it touching, Sarah? It's like a fairy tale come true.
Kevin: Eddy and his two stooges got away with their lives, man. We got burned!
[ripping sound]
Eddy: Bro, don't!
Eddy's Brother: Just for old times' sake, let's play uncle.
Eddy: Uncle?
Eddy's Brother: Wanna crash at my place, don't ya?
Eddy: That's why we came all the way-

[Eddy's brother twists Eddy's leg]

Eddy Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
Eddy's Brother: Say what?
Eddy: Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
Edd; Oh, my!
Eddy's Brother: [Laughing cruelly] That was good, pipsqueak.
Eddy: Can we go inside now?
Eddy's Brother: Why not? Don't forget to wipe your feet.[repeatedly throws Eddy into the trailer wall]
Nazz: Dude, eddy's brother is a real jerk.
Lee: What's he doing to my man?!
Eddy [badly bruised] Come on, bro, give it up!
Eddy's Brother: Give it up? I thought you wanted to hang with your "hero".
Eddy: I do, bro! I do!
Edd: Mister Eddy's Brother! As the older sibling, don't you think you should rather be setting an example for Eddy, and not, um...belittle him...in front of his....friends?
Eddy's Brother: Belittle? He's always been little! I like you, girlfriend. [hammers Edd into the ground using Eddy] You got spunk.
Ed and Marie Kanker: DOUBLE D!
Sarah: What the heck?
Jimmy: Somebody do something!
Rolf: Rolf has had enough of your flat doodle, elder one! Prepare yourself for a merciless thrashing! [Pushes Kevin forward]
Kevin: ...Hey! Bro guy! Lay off him, man!
Nazz: Yeah, Mister Macho Man!
Ed: [removes a bolt from Eddy's brother's door, causing it to fly off his hinges, hit Eddy's brother in the face and free Eddy]
Eddy's Brother: Uuhh... uncle...
Edd: Eddy! Speak to me! Are you all right?
Eddy: [sniffs] I made it all up Double D. Everything about my brother was a lie! I just made things up so people would like me, think I was cool. But boy, was I wrong! The scam, my brother, this... When am I gonna learn, Double D?!
Edd: [gently pulls Eddy's hands from his eyes] I think you just have, Eddy.
Kevin: Grab him!
Ed: No! Take me!
Eddy: Okay! I'm sorry! Honest! I didn't mean to hurt you guys! [is thrown skywards by the cheering kids while Sarah hugs Ed]
Rolf: Let Rolf rub the pit of victory, Ed-boy!
Nazz: I'm so glad you're okay, dude! [hugs and kisses Eddy] You're awesome.
Eddy: I am??
Kevin I gotta admit, pal, that was so choice.
Eddy: It was?!

[the Kankers look over Eddy's brother]

Lee: What a deadbeat this guy turned out to be.
May: He don't look so tough.

Kevin Say, let's go to my place. Jawbreakers are on me!
Eddy We did it, Double D! Everyone loves us! We're finally in, baby!
Edd And it only took 130 episodes, 4 specials and a movie, Eddy!
Ed Let's sing a song! [the Eds and the kids (except Jonny, who is pounded by the kids) then sing "Friends are There to Help You", with the second verse same as the first]

Cast[edit]

External Links[edit]

Wikipedia
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