Fiona Apple

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I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love.
~ Criminal

Fiona Apple Maggart (born 13 September 1977), most famous as Fiona Apple, is a Grammy Award-winning American singer-songwriter and pianist.

Quotes[edit]

  • This world is bullshit. And you shouldn't model your life — wait a second — you shouldn't model your life about what you think that we think is cool and what we're wearing and what we're saying and everything. Go with yourself. Go with yourself.
  • It was because of this guy I had gone out with and had been really, really close with. I really loved him. I felt that he was my best friend. But he was a teenaged guy, and they don't think a lot of times. He mistreated me and then he came back. I couldn't even be friends with him for awhile. I cared about him, but it was just a situation where he kept trying to be friends with me, but I knew that he just wanted to be friends with me so he could have the option of making a move on me whenever he wanted to. And because I was so infatuated with him, and even in love with him, I was always available for that. It made me feel weak every time I would fall for that. And I would look forward to him making a move on me, but I knew that it was wrong. I knew that he was playing with me. And after awhile, I didn't even care anymore because I wanted him so much.
    • On Shadowboxer from Tidal,
from Nuvo, "Fiona Apple: The NUVO Interview" April [1997]
  • Interviewer: I read a post on the Internet from a young girl who had been victimized by someone and her position was like, "I can talk about this now because Fiona Apple can talk about what happened to her." Do you look at yourself as a role model for women and girls who've had this experience?
    Fiona: That's the only reason I ever brought the whole rape thing up. It's a terrible thing, but it happens to so many people. I mean, 80 percent of the people I've told have said right back to me, "That happened to me too." It's so common, and so ridiculous that it's a hard thing to talk about. It angers me so much because something like that happens to you and you carry it around for the rest of your life. No matter how much therapy you go through, no matter how much healing you go through, it's part of you. I just feel that it's such a tragedy that so many people have to bear the extra burden of having to keep it secret from everyone else. As if it's too icky a subject to burden other people with and everyone's going to think you're a victim forever. Then you've labeled yourself a victim, and you've been taken advantage of, and you're ruined, and you're soiled, and you're not pure, you know.

    If I'm in a position where people are looking up to me in any way, then it's absolutely my responsibility to be open and honest about this, because if I'm not, what does that say to people? It doesn't change a person -- well, it does change a person but it doesn't take anything away from you. It can only strengthen you. It has made me so angry in the past. Like I wanted to say it to somebody. I really wanted somebody to connect with, somebody to understand me, somebody to comfort me. But I felt like I couldn't say anything about because it was taboo to talk about.

    • Nuvo, "Fiona Apple: The NUVO Interview" April [1997]
  • I definitely had an eating disorder. What was really frustrating for me was that everyone thought I was anorexic, and I wasn't. I was really depressed and self-loathing. For me, it wasn't about being thin, it was about getting rid of the bait attached to my body. A lot of it came from the self-loathing that came from being raped at the point of developing my voluptuousness. I just thought that if you had a body and if you had anything on you that would be grabbed, it would be grabbed. So I did purposely get rid of it...I mean, my plan is to gain enough weight that I can really be considered voluptuous, and do my 'First Taste' video. And I am preparing myself for what is going to happen. Because soon they will be saying that I'm fat. And it will hurt me.
    • Rolling Stone, "The Caged Bird Sings" January [1998]
  • My problem was that I felt ashamed of feeling sad or angry. Now, I don't hide my vulnerability in my lyrics. There's no way I was going to get raped and not get something out of it. I learned about power and hope and forgiveness. I like who I am now and I wouldn't be who I am if that hadn't happened.
    • ELLE, "Fiona Apple is NOT the next Alanis, thank you" October [1996]
  • I don't have a big thing about leaving my mark or being historic.
  • Don't waste your crazy!
  • You could say, more accurately, I had found my voice but I had forgotten that I found it, or I had found my voice but stopped hearing it for a while. I think that happens throughout life. That is maybe why you can write songs about yourself for ever because you cycle through the same things over and over but you’re seeing it a little more clearly every time.
  • ...In that moment I understood what it was for – it’s really for anybody to have those words and feel validated. Even if no one else believes you, even if you’ve not believed yourself, even if you still don’t believe yourself, let me give you these words to sing and at some point you’re gonna feel it and you’re gonna have compassion for yourself, finally, hopefully.
  • I get that, but it didn’t occur to me because that was the truth – Shameika did say I had potential. It was a true sentence and I really like when true things sound pretty. I was pretty sure there was a Shameika at the school and this had happened, but I question my memories – I question my memory even about having been raped. If I had thought of that I probably wouldn’t have put it out because I would have been afraid that that was how it was coming off...
  • ...That [speech] was a huge moment in my life that I will never, ever regret, and that I have never regretted, no matter how embarrassed I might have been by it at a certain point. I knew it was one of those moments where you have to be a really good parent to yourself and go: “This is a time you can get out there and just say it, you have to because if you don’t do it now you set a precedent for yourself at these things. You shut up your entire life at school, you took all this shit and you were quiet, look how it made you feel. You’re at this thing right now, this magnified high school class and now you got a chance to go up and say something? Don’t be shy. No matter how it comes out, just let it come out.” So I’m really glad that I did that and I think that that set me on a good path.
  • It shouldn’t be like this but I think it’s feeling recognised and appreciated and not being trashed or misunderstood. I feel proud of myself – I’m taking care of myself, I’m taking care of my career and I’m managing things well. I know more than anybody how hard this stuff is for me. There’s been a lot of anxiety and seriously feeling like I cannot do this job but then a lot of outright joy and relief that I actually did put out the album. Something I think about is: if it hadn’t been well received, it would have been the same album, and would I still have felt joy and freedom and satisfaction? I don’t know that I would, and that troubles me. I’m happy that I feel respected in a way that I wasn’t before but it also messes with your idea of yourself.

Song lyrics[edit]

Tidal (1996)[edit]

  • I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream;
    You've got your head in the clouds and you're not at all what you seem.
    This mind, this body and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways.
    So don't forget what I told you, don't come around, I got my own hell to raise.
    • Sleep to Dream
  • Once my lover, now my friend;
    What a cruel thing to pretend.
    What a cunning way to condescend;
    Once my lover, and now my friend.

    Oh, you creep up like the clouds
    And you set my soul at ease.
    Then you let your love abound,
    And you bring me to my knees.

    • Shadowboxer
  • Oh, it's evil babe
    The way you let your grace enrapture me,
    When well you know I'd be insane
    To ever let that dirty game recapture me.

    You made me a shadowboxer, baby.
    I wanna be ready for what you do.
    I been swinging all around me
    'Cause I don't know when you're gonna make your move.

    • Shadowboxer
  • I've been a bad, bad girl.
    I've been careless with a delicate man.
    And it's a sad, sad world
    When a girl will break a boy just because she can.

    Don't you tell me to deny it.
    I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins.
    I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true,
    And I just don't know where I can begin.

  • What I need is a good defense
    'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
    And I need to be redeemed
    To the one I've sinned against
    Because he's all I ever knew of love.
    • Criminal

When the Pawn… (1999)[edit]

  • When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
    What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
    And he’ll win the whole thing ‘fore he enters the ring
    There’s no body to batter when your mind is your might
    So when you go solo you hold your own hand
    And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
    And if you know where you stand then you know where to land
    And if you fall it won’t matter cuz you’ll know that you’re right.
    • When the Pawn
  • My derring-do allows me to
    Dance the rigadoon around you.
    But by the time I'm close to you,
    I lose my desideratum and now you.
    • To Your Love
  • Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills.
    'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up.
    I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold.
    Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love.
    • Paper Bag
  • Do I wanna do right, of course
    but do I really wanna feel I’m forced
    to answer you, hell no.
    I’ve acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake,
    I wanna make a mistake.
    • A Mistake
  • I may be soft in your palm,
    But I'll soon grow hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win.
    My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in man.
    So if you catch me trying to find my way into your heart from under your skin,

    Fast as you can, baby
    Scratch me out, free yourself.

  • So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on.
    And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone.
    If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle.
    And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be able to move on.
    • The Way Things Are
  • And I will pretend
    That I don't know of your sins
    Until you are ready to confess.
    But all the time, all the time,
    I'll know, I'll know.

    And you can use my skin
    To bury secrets in,
    And I will settle you down.

    • I Know

Extraordinary Machine (2005)[edit]

  • I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes,
    And
    I certainly haven't been spreading myself around.
    I still only travel by foot, and by foot it's a slow climb.
    But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
    I can't stop changing all the time.
    • Extraordinary Machine
  • One man, he disappoint me;
    He give me the gouge and he take my glee.
    Now every other man I see
    Remind me of the one man who disappoint me.
  • Everything good, I deem too good to be true;
    Everything else is just a bore.
    Everything I have to look forward to
    Has a pretty painful and very imposing before.
  • I opened my eyes
    While you were kissing me once more than once,
    And you looked as sincere as a dog.
    Just as sincere as a dog does,
    When it's the food on your lips with which it's in love.
  • The early cars
    Already are
    Drawing deep breaths past my door.
    And last night's phrases,
    Sick with lack of basis,
    Are still writhing on my floor.

    And it doesn't seem fair
    That your wicked words should work
    In holding me down.
    No, it doesn't seem right
    To take information
    Given at close range
    For the gag
    And the bind
    And the ammunition round.

  • Conversation once colored by esteem
    Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood.
    Took a vacation, my palate got clean.
    Now I could taste your agenda
    While you're spitting your cud.
    • Not About Love
  • If you don't have a date
    Celebrate
    Go out and sit on the lawn
    And do nothing
    'Cause it's just what you must do
    Nobody does it anymore.
    • Waltz (Better Than Fine)

Quotes about Fiona Apple[edit]

External links[edit]

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