Franklin Pierce Adams
Franklin Pierce Adams (November 15, 1881, Chicago, Illinois – March 23, 1960, New York City, New York) was an American columnist, well known by his initials F.P.A., and wit, best known for his newspaper column, "The Conning Tower", and his appearances as a regular panelist on radio's Information Please. A prolific writer of light verse, he was a member of the Algonquin Round Table of the 1920s and 1930s.
- Christmas is over and Business is Business.
- "For the Other 365 Days", in Trans-communicator, Volume 44 (1927), p. 177.
- There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel
- Reported in Jacob Morton Braude, Complete Speaker's and Toastmaster's Library: Remarks of famous people (1965), p. 53.
Nods and Becks (1944) 
- The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.
- When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them.
- Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
- Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.