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Frank Gelett Burgess (January 30, 1866 – September 18, 1951) was an American artist, art critic, poet, author and humourist.
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- A woman and a mouse, they carry a tale wherever they go.
- Gelett Burgess, The Maxims of Methuselah (1907)
- I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!
- Poem The Purple Cow (1895)
- Ah, yes, I wrote the "Purple Cow"—
I'm Sorry, now, I wrote it;
But I can tell you Anyhow
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!
- Poem Confession: and a Portrait Too, Upon a Background that I Rue (1897)
- Reacting to the many parodies of his poem
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