George of the Jungle (film)

George of the Jungle is a 1997 film starring Brendan Fraser and Leslie Mann

George

• [Arrives in Africa in a crate] Next time George get bigger box.
• [About to swing and save a man] To swing or not to swing. [Man screams for help] Swing.
• [Repeated line] George just lucky, I guess.
• No people here to look stupid for. Just George.
• [Looks down the unconcious Ursula's blouse] Something funny about this fella.
• Here comes Shep.
• It dancin' time.
• George not feel so good.

Lyle Van der Groot

• [Translating with a Swahili phrasebook] Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning.
• [practising his made-up story about Ursula getting captured by the White Ape] It was horrible. An almost 400-pound white ape man. The White Ape has my girlfriend. I held him off as long as I could. There's blood everywhere. The White Ape got my girlfriend. He weighs 400-pounds! The White Ape got my girlfriend! The White Ape got...help! Help! Man needs help!
• No hard feelings, Stonebelly. The best man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the guy who brought mercenaries won; that's all.
• That was Ursula! (Gunman: Did you hear that?) She's alive... URSULA-AAAAHH!

Other

Ape: "George's Secrets." There's the shortest book ever written.

Dialogue

Narrator: And so, onward and upward, the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies over perilous paths. When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe.

Expedition: Awwwwww.

Narrator: I said awe. A-W-E.

Expedition: Ooooooooh.

Narrator: That's better.

---

[after Lyle trips and falls face first into elephant feces]

N'Dugo: Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?

Guides: Ready!

[they all throw their heads back and laugh hard]

---

[After Lyle shot George, he is put into a prison line-up of random African people. Kwame, N'Dugo, and the other two men are looking at them]

Narrator: Meanwhile, Kwame and his men faced the next-to-impossible task of picking out George's assailant from a line-up of the usual suspects.

N'Dugo: No. No. Too short. Too sweaty. [Sees Lyle, but doesn't regconize him at first] Wait a second. That's the guy. That's the guy who shot him. I never forget a face.

Lyle: Me?

[N'Dugo and the two men, recognizing Lyle, laugh loudly]

---

Narrator: Emboldened with jungle juju, Ursula Stanhope went inside to break the news to her parents, who took it extremely well.

Ursula: Mother, Daddy, I love you both very much. I have something very important to tell you, and I hope you'll understand. I don't want to marry Lyle anymore.

Mr. and Mrs. Stanhope: [Happily] We understand, dear.

'[Ursula sighs happily. After a pause...]

Narrator: Just kidding.

Mrs. Stanhope: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

---

Ape: I'm hungry.

Thor: Oh, shut up! You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm getting mad enough to...

Ape: You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?

Max: Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape.

Ape: That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance.

Max: Give him a banana, Thor. Won't be long now.

Thor: That's what you said yesterday. This trail's taking us to the middle of nowhere!

[Ape snickers]

Max: The sign at the trail head said "Shortcut to Ape River". Now, why would it say "shortcut" if it wasn't a... [Realizes something] Wait a minute. Maybe it's a fake. A decoy trail.

Ape: Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake. It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the treehouse.

Thor: Ohhh! Oh, I knew we was lost!

Max: Don't listen to him, Thor. He's just trying to trick us, lead us off the shortcut so we take twice as long on the regular trail.

Thor: We're already taking twice as long!

Max: Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of you?

Thor: What?

Ape: Du-u-u-uh!

Max: Let's go. If he tells us the shortcut leads to the treehouse, then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.

---

Thor: Max, look. We're back at the treehouse.

Ape: Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me.

Max: Oh, no!

Narrator: "Oh, no" was right, for the exhausted ape-nappers had--

Thor: Hey! Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like, what should we do now?

Narrator: Because I don't like you.

Thor: Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a--!

Narrator: I'll pretend I didn't hear it. [Makes a loud crashing noise, causing Thor to shake about] Having some fun now, hm?

Max: Thor, were you fighting with the narrator?

Thor: Well, he started it.

Narrator: Did not.

Thor: You did too!

Narrator: Did not!

Thor: You did too!

Narrator: Did not!

Thor: You did too!

Max: Thor, stop it!

---

Max: Let's take care of him.

George: Huh?

[Max and Thor pick George up and ram his head into the cage]

Ape: Why didn't you come sooner?

George: Why Ape have little stars around head?

[Max and Thor pull George out, tickle him, and ram his head back in]

Ape: George, remember everything I told you about Queensbury rules and fighting fair?

George: Uh-huh.

Ape: Well, now's a good time to forget it.

Max: Let's finish him off.

[Then George kicks Max and Ape in the balls]

Thor: Oh, I can't breathe, Max!

Max Let it out, Thor, let it out!

Max puts George in a Full Nelson and Thor starting tickling George.

Thor: Take this! George: Stop it! Ape! (laughing)