Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the second 3D game in the Grand Theft Auto video game franchise and the sixth original title overall. It debuted in North America on October 27, 2002 for the PlayStation 2 and was later ported to the Xbox and PC in 2003.

Tommy Vercetti

• Nobody does whatever they like, Umberto. They do what you let them do.

• Ya took fifteen years from me Sonny- and now I'm gonna make you pay!

• This is the last dance for Lance Vance!

Avery Carrington

• Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old-fashioned gang war — apart from a biblical plague, but that may be going too far in this case.

Umberto Robina

• Tommy, to us... you Cuban.

Maurice Chavez

• In case you haven't noticed, Vice City is not a very safe place! These are troubled times! We are a troubled people! Some say we are a people at war with ourselves. Some say we are at war with reality. Others say we need a break, and should really take a vacation, or something.

• [Regarding his new guests on the show] Three wise men following very different stars. Three separate islands of insanity in a rolling sea of stupidity. Only joking, ladies and gentlemen!

• Maurice Chavez. That's "Chavez", not "Javes", or "Javeez"! This isn't a game show!

Dialogue

[Umberto and Tommy's first meeting, prior to Stunt Boat Challenge]

Umberto Robina: You. You the boy? Yeah. You the boy. I think so, you know?

Tommy Vercetti: No, I don't think I do.

Umberto Robina: Oh, yeah? You come here, tough guy. You think you'll take me on? You think you'll play stupid with me?

Tommy Vercetti: No, I think you're playing plenty stupid enough for both of us.

Alberto Robina: Hey- he called you dumb, son.

Umberto Robina: And I call him a little girl, Pappi. Look at him! All dressed up like that. What is this, ladies' night? You some kind of tough guy, you dress like a woman? You got on panties like a woman too, huh?

Tommy Vercetti: What you got against women? You prefer men, big boy?

Umberto Robina: I like women. I like all women! I love my mother, chico!

Tommy Vercetti: All right, all right. I'll take your word for it, relax.

Umberto Robina: Can you drive, amigo?

Tommy Vercetti: Yeah. Like a woman.

[Radio announcement]

Woman: What's this I found under your bed? The only Engels you're going to be reading is Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Man: If you think your child might be a Red, here are some warning signs. They read complicated literature and have concern for their fellow man. They even like to share. Tell your kids that if someone approaches them with pamphlets about recycling, an invitation to a labor rally or show any doubts about the fairness of our system, then they should find a teacher or a policeman immediately.

---

[On VCPR]

Maurice: But since you got elected, Vice City has been characterized by a government who cut aid to the poor, offered tax breaks to the rich and paid people to dump toxic waste near schools.

Alex Shrub: Yes, we've made a lot of progress!

Maurice: And up on Capital Hill you were instrumental in pushing through a bill allowing the manufacture and sale of Giggle Cream, a dessert with potential lethal consequences.

Alex Shrub: Uh, not true! Only 23 people have died and several of them probably deserved it.