Grey's Anatomy (Season 5)

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Grey's Anatomy (2005-) is a primetime television medical drama, airing on ABC, that follows Meredith Grey, a first-year surgical intern at the beginning of the drama, and her fellow interns as they struggle to become doctors.

Season 5[edit]

Dream A Little Dream Of Me [5.1-2][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality. - The person that invented the phrase "Happily ever after" should have his ass kicked, so hard!!

Bailey: I have a dream, Yang... That one day a trauma, will come through these doors.... I have a dream.
Cristina: I share that dream.

Meredith: Okay, I built the house of candles, that is unprecedented in the Meredith chronicles.
Derek: Fine, let's move in together.
Meredith: Fine.
Derek: Unless of course you just wanna go ahead and get married .... AHA! Gotcha! You wanna know where I learned that? It goes with the story of how I cut my hand.

Meredith: And then you know what's gonna happen after he moves in don't you? We build a house on his land, which will be OUR land because we'll be married. And then I'll be Dr. Mrs. Shepherd. And you know what comes after that don't you? Babies. They'll be his babies so they'll have perfect hair, and they'll be chatty. So I'll have five chatty children, a chatty husband, and live in a house in the wilderness. And then I'll start sleeping with your husband. I gotta tell him I've changed my mind. Don't you think?
Cristina: MEREDITH!

Meredith [voiceover]: Once upon a time, happier ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don't come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier. Reality it’s so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

Here Comes the Flood [5.3][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] As surgeons we are trained to fix what’s broken. The breaking point is our starting line... at work. But in our lives the breaking point is a sign of weakness and we’ll do everything we can to avoid it.

Meredith: My patient's dying. I hate when I like them and they're dying.

Sloan: [to Lexie, at the bar] So... a photographic memory, huh? [pause]Periodic Table. Go.
Lexie: Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum, silicon, phosphorus, sulfur. I can keep going.

Meredith: [to her shrink in the elevator] What was the point? All those hours and all that money? What's the point? The world is a horrible place. Young people die of diseases. It makes absolutely no sense to try to be happy in a world that's such a horrible place.
Dr. Wyatt: [to Meredith] Yes.
Meredith: What?
Dr. Wyatt: Yes, horrible things do happen. Happiness in the face of all of that... that's not the goal. Feeling the horrible and knowing that you're not gonna die from those feelings, that's goal. [she stops the elevator] And you're not done. You've made progress because you're feeling and you're telling me about it. Six months ago, it would've been just you and a bottle of tequila. My door is always open.

Meredith: [voiceover] Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down...when we break down...there’s no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon there’s nothing worse, and there’s nothing better.

Brave New World [5.4][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] In 6500 BC, some guy looked at his friend and said "Let's drill a hole in your head... that will make you feel better." And thus surgery was born. It takes a certain brand of crazy to think of drilling into someone's skull, but surgeons have always been a confident bunch. We don't always know what we're doing, but we act like we do. We walk into a country, plant a flag and start ordering people around. It's invigorating and terrifying.

Izzie: People are terrible to the people they love sometimes. They're mean. You were both having a hard time and you took it out on each other. It doesn't make you the worst wife in the world. It just makes you a person who made a mistake.

Erica: Lie to me again and the only heart you'll ever see is yours as I'm cutting it out of your chest with a steak knife.

Meredith: [voiceover] We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather to hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity. Now that's worth talking about.

There's No "I" In Team [5.5][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] I am a rock. I am an island. That's the mantra to pretty much every surgeon that I've ever met. We like to think we're independent. Loners. Mavericks. That all we need to do our jobs is an OR, a scalpel, and a willing body...But the truth is, not even the best of us can do it alone. Surgery, like life, is a team sport...and eventually, you've gotta get off the bench and decide... which team are you batting for.

Bailey: We're ready for you, Grey.
Meredith: Walking with the kidney... [she drops the kidney]
Bailey: Five second rule! Five second rule!

Chief: What are you people doing?
Izzie: We were just uh, just deciding which of our interns to give to George.
Cristina: Uh huh.
Bailey: Oh you think I got to choose my interns? And I picked you people... 'cause you're all such a surgical dream team? [to Alex] You, you're lazy, [to Izzie] you're whiney, [to Meredith] butter fingers over there... down right depressing, and [to Cristina] you, Yang, you're just annoying. Choosing their own interns! What are...
Chief: Give me those damn cards. [hands cards to George] O'Malley, you have interns.

Alex: Interns. The other white meat.

Meredith: [voiceover] The thing about choosing teams in real life.. It's nothing like it used to be in gym class.. being 1st picked can be terrifying And being chosen last... isn't the worst thing in the world. So we watch from the sidelines, clinging to our isolation, because we know as soon as we let go of the bench, someone comes along and changes the game completely.

Life During Wartime [5.6][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] For a surgeon, every patient is a battlefield. They're our terrain. Where we advance, retreat, try to remove all the landmines...And just when you think you've won the battle, made the world safe again. Along comes another landmine...

[Callie and Mark are in bed together in the on call room. When someone knocks on the door, she hides under the covers]

Derek: I’m gonna yell at the major general. Wanna come?
Mark: Hell yeah. Be right there.
Derek: Hey Torres.
Callie: [from under the covers] Hey.

Meredith: [voiceover] Some wars result in complete and total victory. Some wars end with a peace offering. And some wars end in hope...But all these wars are nothing compared to the most frightening war of all. The one you have yet to fight.

Rise Up [5.7][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] If you’re a normal person, one of the few things you can count on in life is death. But if you’re a surgeon, even that comfort is taken away from you. Surgeons cheat death. We prolong it. We deny it. We stand and defiantly give death the finger.

Derek: Marriage counseling. How’s that going
Bailey: You just heard us arguing about the marriage counseling. How do you think it’s going? [Derek yawns] No, you are doing a craniotomy on my patient Rosemary Bullard today. Now are you gonna be awake for that or will you be yawning into a brain.

[Derek gets in the elevator, Mark is there]
Derek: I need you to have sex with Cristina Yang.
Mark: Well Good morning.
Mark: I'm not your stud horse. You can't just...tell me who to sleep
Derek: You slept with my wife.
[elevator dings]
Mark: Yeah, I'll give it a shot

Cristina: The wife's here, of the beating victim. She ID'd her husband, so I-
Owen: What's his name? I wondered if you asked her her husband's name so that he would become a person to you. They're all people, Yang. This is not a game or a contest or a competition to see who gets surgeries and who doesn't. They're people and we get to save them. Now you're good. You're excellent and you can win all the contests. But if that's why you're doing this then you shouldn't be. Did you find out his name?
Cristina: [closes the door and sits down in front of Owen] My dad died when I was nine. In a car accident, I was with him in the car. While we waited for the ambulance, I tried to keep his chest closed, so he wouldn't bleed so much. When he died, my hands felt his heart stop beating. That's why I do this. It's also why I win all the contests. The patient's name is Tom. [leaves]

Meredith: [voiceover] We're born, we live, we die... sometimes not necessarily in that order. We put things to rest, only to have them rise up again. So if death is not the end, what can we count on anymore? Because you sure can't cound on anything in life. Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is. In fact, there's only one thing in life we can be sure of. It ain't over till it's over.

These Ties That Bind [5.8][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] It's intense, what happens in the OR, when lives are on the line and you're poking at brains like they're silly putty. You form a bond with the surgeons right next to you. An indescribable, unbreakable bond. It's intimate being tied together like that. Whether you like it or not, whether you like them or not, you become family.
Izzie: I said goodbye. I burned the sweater!
Denny: Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. I loved that sweater. You made me that sweater.
Denny: Izzie... stop freaking out.
Izzie: You're not real. You're not real.
Denny: Hey, I told you.
Izzie: You're not real! You're not real! You're not real!
Denny: Look at me. Touch me. :[Izzie touches Denny's chest] See? Told you I was real.

Clay: You have your beliefs, I have mine.
Dr. Dixon: I don't have beliefs, I have science.
Clay: Science is a belief. You believe in only what you can see and touch. I believe in more.

Derek: [Meredith has asked Derek to talk to Mark about staying away from Lexie] Little Sloan does not enter Little Grey. Are we clear?
Mark: Did you just say...
Derek: Mmmhmmm.
Mark: Okay. That's just creepy and inaccurate. Big Sloan.

Meredith: [voiceover] The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply... meant to be.

In the Midnight Hour [5.9][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] When you're little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older the monsters are different. Self doubt, Loneliness, Regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark.

Izzie: I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed. Because this is like that moment in the morning when you first wake up and you're still half asleep and everything seems... Things are possible. Dreams feel true and for that one moment between waking and dreaming, anything can be real and then you open your eyes and the sun hits you and then you realize. I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed.

Derek: [moaning coming from Izzie's room] Who's making a porno movie in Izzie's room?
Alex: Relax. She's flying solo. That's hot.

Lauren: [has taken medication that has killed the healthy bacteria in her body. Alex just told her that she needs a fecal transplant to survive] Poop? I need a poop transplant?

Meredith: [voiceover] Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. but for so many of us, sleep seems out of grasp. We want it, but we don't know how to get it. Yet once we face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isn't so scary because we realize even in the dark, we aren't all alone.

All By Myself [5.10][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] My mother called it the greatest and most terrifying moment in her life, standing at the head of the surgical table knowing that the patient’s life depends on you and you alone. It what we all dream about because the first person that gets to fly solo in the OR, kind of a badass.

Alex: Listen. You had that heart patient and it reminded you of Denny and how bad you felt when you were lying on that bathroom floor. I get that! I get that you're scared. But you're not going to have to feel like that again. Because I'm not going to die, Izz. And I'm not gonna cheat on you, and I'm not gonna go anywhere! 'Cause, I think you're my best shot at... I think with you... you make me better. You make me wanna BE better. You make me want to be good. And I think I can. With you. I think I can. So I'm not going anywhere, and you can stop hiding. And if you wanna be scared that's okay just be scared with me. Be scared while you scrub in with me on my first solo surgery. Okay?
Izzie: You love me.
Alex: Shut up. [kisses her, leaves] Solo surgery!
Denny: I'm really starting to not like that guy.

Cristina: My gut? I'm not putting a patient's life in the hands of a novice surgeon based on my gut.
Owen: Worked for me.
Cristina: I bet.
Owen: It's what told me to choose you.

Richard: Choosing the first solo surgery isn't just about who has the best surgical skills. Or who's logged the most hours in the OR. It's about the highest form of trust. The trust to put a patient's life into one of our residents' hands. And for the first time I can recall, every single attending picked the same person. Dr. Yang. However, Dr. Yang is out of the running. She is going to pick the winner instead. Dr. Yang will post her decision on the O.R. board at 4 p.m. Also, since your interns are still banned from the O.R., the winner will be allowed to pick a fellow resident to scrub in with them. Good luck.

Meredith: [voiceover] We enter the world alone and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to our self to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise we’re in it by our self. Strangers, cut off from each other and we forget just how connect we all are. So instead we choose love. We choose life and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone.

Wish You Were Here [5.11][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] We all get at least one good wish in a year over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more, on eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars. And every now and then, one of those wishes come true. So what then? Is it as good as we hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness or do we just notice we’ve got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished.

Meredith: [voiceover] We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we’re scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wished though because sometimes they come true.

Richard: [to Derek] I'm worried about my hospital dying. I made some calls to replace Kinley. No one wants to come here. I can't keep a cardiac surgeon on staff. Burke quit. Hahn quit. Dixon's autistic. My OR roof collapsed, the whole place flooded. The interns are literally chopping each other into little pieces. No wonder we're number 12. Twelve!

Meredith: All crimes are crimes of passion. There's always a reason. People don't do stuff like that because they forget it's illegal.

Owen: Seems like you're short of a friend today, so I thought I'd fill in.
Cristina: Whatever. Colleagues aren't friends, they're competitors.

Sympathy For the Devil [5.12][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] My mother used to say this about residency, “It takes a year to learn how to cut. It takes a lifetime to learn not to.” Of all of the tools on the surgical tray, sound judgment is the trickiest one to master. And without it, we’re all just toddlers running around with ten blades.

Mark: Mrs. Shepherd's coming... to Seattle?
Lexie: So?
Mark: So that woman practically raised me...taught me right from wrong. If she found that I was ... with you ... that we were... You're Meredith Grey's little sister. You are forbidden fruit. You are twenty-five. You're a fetus.
Lexie: Twenty-four. I skipped third grade.
Mark: I feel dirty.

Mark: Why do you have to live in Meredith's attic? How am I supposed to sneak out of here with a frat party going on downstairs? Don't you kids ever sleep?
Lexie: They're cleaning the house for Dr. Shepherd's mom.

Arizona: [to Alex] You don't think that I know that they just pulled the plug on the kid? You don't think that I get that? You don't think I know about the tiny, tiny coffin that they're going to stick him in? I know about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time. In my sleep. So if you don't mind, I'm going to keep talking relationships and rainbows and crap. And I'm going to make plans for tomorrow. Because that's what you do, Karev, you make plans. You have to. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and you face forward, until the next kid.

Meredith: [voiceover] We’re human. We make mistakes. We mis-estimate. We call it wrong. But when a surgeon makes a bad judgment call, it’s not as simple. People get hurt. They bleed. So we struggle over every stitch. We agonize over every suture because the snap judgments, the ones that come to us quickly and easily without hesitation, they’re the one that haunt us forever.

Stairway to Heaven [5.13][edit]

Denny: [voiceover] I believe in heaven. I also believe in hell. I’ve never seen either, but I believe they exist. They have to exist because without a heaven, without a hell, we’re all just headed for limbo.

Bailey: Dr. Shepherd?
Derek: Dr. Bailey.
Bailey: I need you to stop. I need you to put down the scalpel. This man is trying to kill himself and, God forgive me, I need you to let him.
...
Derek: It's your call, Dr. Bailey. It's up to you. Am I an executioner? Or am I a surgeon?

Bailey: Karev, go and get the machine.
Alex: What if it's already hooked up to somebody?
Arizona: If that somebody has more than 16 hours to live, then we'll unhook him.

Denny: [voiceover] I believe in heaven. I also believe in hell. I've never seen either but I believe they exist. They have to exist. Because without a heaven, without a hell, we're all just headed for limbo.

Denny: [voiceover] Heaven, hell, limbo, no one really knows where we’re going or what’s waiting for us when we get there. But the one thing we can say for sure, with absolute certainty, that’s there are moments that take us to another place, moments of heaven on earth. And maybe for now, that’s all we need to know.

Beat Your Heart Out [5.14][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Any first year med student knows that an increase heart rate is a sign of trouble. A racing heart can indicate anything from a panic disorder to something much, much more serious. A heart that flutters, or one that skips a beat, could be a sign of secret affliction or it could indicate romance which is the biggest trouble of all.

Callie: Alone people don't like to hear about the together people...It's just sort of mean. It's sort of like bringing a 6-pack to an AA meeting.

Derek: She said a thing about babies. Like babies are a totally ordinary idea. She's not afraid, she's ready.
Mark: When are you gonna do it?
Chief: Do what?
Mark: Shepherd's proposing.
Richard: No kidding? Outstanding! How're you gonna do it?
Derek: I don't know. Just decided.
Owen: Morning.
Mark: Shepherd's proposing.
Owen: Congratulations, that's a big step.
Derek: Thank you very much. :[to Mark] You just gonna tell everybody now?
Mark: You need advice. Hunt, you ever proposed before?
Owen: Uh sorry I'm...not the guy to ask. When are you gonna do it?
[Meredith approaches]
Derek: Well more importantly how am I gonna do it?
Mark: :[sees Meredith, coughs] So, what do you use, like a twist drill for that?
[Richard leaves]
Derek: Well not if you don't want a partial, pridal hematoma!
[Derek, Mark and Owen do big fake laugh]
Meredith: [confused] Hi... [walks away]

Meredith: Hey, um did you eat? Let me change, I'll come with you.
Derek: No, no, no, I can't. I have to um, work.
Meredith: Ok, listen. You have been acting like a basket case ever since I dropped that stupid little comment about babies. And I'm glad I dropped it, because if you don't want babies, or you don't want babies with me and my crappy DNA... just say so! You don't have to avoid me. You don't have to make up lame excuses about work.
Derek: Meredith, I want your crappy babies.
Meredith: Hah, you do?
Derek: All of them.
Meredith: Ok, do you wanna eat?
Derek: No...I... I... I have to work.

Meredith: [voiceover] It seems we have no control what so ever over our own hearts. Condition can change without warning. Romance can make the heart pound just like panic can. And panic can make it stop cold in your chest. It’s no wonder doctors spend so much time to keep the heart stable, to keep it slow, steady, regular to stop the heart from pounding out of your chest from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation or something else entirely.

Before and After [5.15][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Every patient’s story starts the same way. It starts with them being fine, it starts in the before. They cling to this moment, this memory of being fine, this before, as though talking about it may somehow bring it back. But what they don’t realise is that they’re talking about it to us, their doctors and that means there’s no going back. By the time they see us, they’re already in the after. And while every patient’s story starts the same way, how the story ends depends on us, on how well we diagnose and treat. We know the story hinges on us and we all want to be the hero.

Meredith: What happened?
Sadie: I quit. O'malley's a little narc. I'd rather be deemed a quitter than a cheater.
Meredith: Did you cheat your way into the program?
Sadie: I said I'm not book smart. You know that. I learn on my feet. I thought if I came to where you were, we... you could...
Meredith: Pull you through?
Sadie: We've seen each other through a lot.

Meredith: I didn't even know Addison had a brother. I mean, you'd think Derek would have said something at some point. Or sang something, while he played his guitar.
Cristina: Speak English.
Meredith: Well, Derek used to play the guitar.
Cristina: Oh. Owen's ex fiance is in the hospital. Mmm... his ex-fiance he never told me about.

Owen: [to Cristina] I call her, alright. I call my mother, once a week. I haven't told her I'm back, she thinks I'm calling from ... I keep the conversation short because I can't bear for her to know that the son she sent off to war is gone. He's gone. And if I just got in my car and drove the six miles to see her, she'd be so ... sad. And she would look at me in the same way Beth does, now. Like I'm not there. The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me, because when you look at me, you see me. You see me. This is me. This is me. Please, Cristina, see me. See me.

Bailey: [watching Addison sit in the chapel] What's she doing?
Chief: It looks like she's praying.
Sam: Mmm no. Addie doesn't pray.
Callie: What's she doing?
Naomi: Uhh, she's praying.
Callie: :[she laughs] Addison doesn't pray. She must be hiding.
Addison: I can hear you! And I'm not hiding, I'm trying to pray. But I don't know how to pray because we only go to church on Christmas.
Callie: You guys go, I got this. :[sits next to Addison]
Addison: I have no cloud with God. God doesn't even know who I am. Which sucks because I could...I could use some help.
Callie: Dear God, I need your guidance. I kissed a peds surgeon.
Addison: You kissed a paeds surgeon?
Callie: I never thought I'd end up with a woman, God, but, I mean not until lately, but that's not the problem. The problem is the peds thing. She's, she`s perky... and has butterflies on her scrub cap. But she's also hot... really hot. So, help me get over the butterflies. Amen. You`re amazing doctor, you save babies. God knows who you are.
Addison: Do you really believe in all this? In God?
Callie: Sometimes. Most of the time. When it counts.

An Honest Mistake [5.16][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] There’s this thing that happens when people find out you’re a doctor. They stop seeing you as a person and begin to see you something bigger than you are. They have to see us that way, as gods, otherwise we’re just like everyone else, unsure, flawed, normal. So we act strong, we remain stoic. We hide the fact that we’re all too human.

Bailey: I am Dr. Bailey! I am better than fine.

Alex: [about Addison still being at Seattle Grace] Admit it. Her being around your guy bugs.
Meredith: Okay. It bugs a little.

Meredith: [voiceover] Patients see us as gods or they see us as monsters. But the fact is, we’re just people. We screw up, either way. Even the best of us, have our off days. Still we move forward. We don’t rest our laurels or celebrate the lives we’ve saved in the past. Because there’s always some other patient that needs our help. So we force ourselves to keep trying, to keep learning. In the hope that, maybe, someday we’ll come just a little bit closer to the gods our patients need us to be.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark [5.17][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Every surgeon I know has, a shadow. A dark cloud of fear and that follows even the best of us into the OR. We pretend the shadow isn’t there hoping that if we save more lives, master harder techniques, run faster and farther it will get tired and give up the chase but like they say... you can’t outrun your shadow.

Meredith: How'd it go with the lawyers?
Derek: They told me my death rate. [looks at a small pile] These are the people I saved. [looks at a big pile] These are the people I killed.
Meredith: Okay. Well most of those people were terminal when they came to you. You were their last chance, and you take on impossible cases. Look at the clinical trial.
Derek: It's just so many people. More than Dahmer, Manson, and Bundy combined.
Meredith: You're not looking at the big picture.
Derek: [points to the big stack of files] This is the big picture.

Meredith: [about Derek] And he just walked out. Without saying a word, he just walked out!
Cristina: Hunt won't even look at me, since he went all Apocalypse Now on me this morning.
Meredith: He had to get all scalpel happy up in that patients brain, and now he can't face it!
Cristina: He thinks I'm what? This wilting flower? Well guess what, I'm the strong one.
Meredith: Oh my god! I'm the strong one.
Cristina: You see, if I had that stomach cancer gene, I would get that gastrectomy no problem. I face things, I don't walk away.
Meredith: Derek walks away. Maybe walking away is the answer?
Cristina: See it's not emotional, it's science. You have a problem, don't ignore it.
Meredith: Well, sometimes if you have to pee and you ignore it, it does go away.
Izzie: [laughs] You guys are hilarious! I mean do you even know what she just said? Or what she just said? [Meredith and Cristina look at each other] I can totally see you guys in 50 years, at a nursing home, just talking at each other with your hearing aids off. [laughs] Hi-larious! Ah, I love lunch.

Izzie: Maybe Cristina's right. Maybe trying to teach the interns is pointless.
George: Please, don't listen to Cristina. She thinks just because you'd rather teach then take out a gall bladder that you're the new me.
Izzie: Haha, O'Malley the sequel.
George: O'Malley 2.0.
Izzie: You read more journals and do more research, and log more hours in the skills lab than any other resident here. You never give up on trying to be a better doctor, and you don't step on other people to do it. I would be lucky to be the new you.

Meredith: [voiceover] Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on.

Stand by Me [5.18][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Surgeons aren’t known for being warm and cuddly. They’re arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. You’d think they wouldn’t have friends 'cuz who could stand them? But surgeons, are like a bad cold. Nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: nasty, aggressive, unstoppable, just the kind of people you want on your side when you’re really screwed.

Bailey: Ah, Chief?
Chief: Dr. Bailey.
Bailey: How's your mood?
Chief: Meager. Anxious. I'm excited about Sloan's face transplant. I'm a little concerned about Derek Shepherd, but all in all...
Bailey: Do I look like therapist?
Chief: You asked.
Bailey: I've lost Hunt and Torres. See, I sent them to get Shepherd and I never heard from them again. See, I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you, Sir, but, It appears I've somehow made it 3 times worse. So, I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police. Because, I'm half convinced they're all dead, on a spit, with a one armed man turning them into shish kebabs. Sir. It's my mind. It just goes there.

Derek: [to Richard] Get out!
Richard: No.
Derek: Get out, Richard! Get out!
Richard: Look, I've destroyed lives before. Several in fact, and yours is not one of them. Now, I sent the woman you love out here to help you. I sent the woman who loves you, out here, to bring you back to your life. If you ruin it with her, that's on you. I don't accept it. You're scared, you're drunk. You don't know which way is up. You threw a punch at your best friend, and you threw a ring at Meredith, and now you wanna throw me out. I'm not accepting it. Because, I'm older than you, and I've been where you are. You've been drunk for a few days, I was drunk for years. And I know you're gonna need at least one friend when you decide to come out of that hole you're digging. I hope you come out of it soon, and I'll be here when you do.
Derek: I don't think I can get her back.
Richard: Did you call her?
Derek: What am I going to say?
Richard: I had an affair for years and when Adele found out somehow she... She took me back... you can make your way back from anything.

Derek: How do you live with it? Killing him. Taking him from his wife. How do you live with it?
Callie: We call it malpractice when we make a mistake.
Derek: Yeah. I know what we call it. I'm asking you, when you get up in the morning, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? I'm no... I'm... I'm asking.
Callie: [looks at the beer Derek is drinking] Can I have one of those?
Derek: Yeah.
Callie: Look, I'm sorry about your patient. I know how hard it can be. I, I had a patient a couple of years ago, a young guy, 50 maybe. Simple knee replacement. He was post op, he was fine. I even told his wife she could go and get him lunch. I mean, it was a simple knee replacement, it was nothing. But, ah, he'd been getting short of breath so I'd put him on blood thinners for a post surgical PE. And, ah, It wasn't until he was vomiting up dark red blood, looking me in the eye, telling me that he was dying... that I figured it out. That I was wrong. That it wasn't a PE, he was bleeding internally. It wouldn't have been fatal, but the blood thinners. God, I will never forget the look on his wife's face. When she came back with that sandwich in her hand, asking me why her husband wasn't in his room anymore.

Meredith: [voiceover] Practicing medicine doesn’t lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death everyday, we’re forced to know that life, every minute is borrowed time. And each person, we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don’t bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can.

Elevator Love Letter [5.19][edit]

Alex: [voiceover] Surgeons are all messed up. We’re butchers, messed up knife happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don’t have time to worry about all the blood and death and crap it really makes us feel.

Chief Wait. Um. Wait. No. You can’t take that one.
Meredith Why not?
Chief: I said don't take it.
Meredith: I will take the elevator I want to take.
[Chief blocks elevator door. Door closes and Meredith presses the button for a new elevator. Other elevator door opens.]
Chief: Well go on.
Derek: Hey! Come on in. This is a CT of Katie Bryce. 15 year old female severed aneurysm.
Meredith: From a fall during rhythmic gymnastics, I remember.
Derek: It was the first surgery we ever scrubbed in together on right? Our first save. Right here is a cerebral cyst. Tough save, but we did it. I kissed you in the stairwell after the surgery. And this right here is where Dr. Bailey kicked you out of the surgery because she caught us in your driveway in my car. And right here, this was a 7 hour craniotomy and you held the clamp the entire time, never flinched. That’s when I knew you were going to be an incredible surgeon. Beth Monroe, made our clinical trial a success by surviving. You talked me into putting her under. That’s when I knew I needed you. And this is today. The post op head CT of Izzie Stevens. See that, right there? Tumor free. Because of you. You got me into the OR. If there’s a crisis you don’t freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you’ve seen worse. You’ve survived worse. And you know we’ll survive too. You say you’re dark and twisty. It’s not a flaw. It’s a strength. It makes you who you are. I’m not going to get down on one knee. I’m not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Meredith: And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Derek: We'll see you soon Dr. Stevens.
Izzie: I hope so.
Bailey: Know so.
Izzie: Dr Bailey if something goes wrong...
Bailey: It wont.
Izzie: The scarf, I made it for you.
Derek: It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's get started.

Callie: I wished Izzie Stevens would die. I wished her dead every day, of every week, for I don't even know how long. I woke up every morning, wishing Izzie Stevens would die, and now... What kind of person wishes someone would die? What kind of doctor wishes, knowing how things happen. What kind of doctor wishes...
Arizona: Are you in here, right now, praying for Izzie to die?
Callie: No. I'm praying for her to live.

Alex: [voiceover]: Doesn’t matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that’s the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up."

Sweet Surrender [5.20][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Defeat isn’t an option. Not for surgeons. We don’t back away from the table til the last breaths long gone. Terminals a challenge, life threatening's what gets us out of bed in the morning. We’re not easily intimidated, we don’t flinch, we don’t back down and we certainly don’t surrender, not at work anyway.

Bailey: Is there anything else you need before I go?
Arizona: No. You wanna sit a while?
Bailey: No, I do not want to sit. I've been sitting and lying down all day.
Arizona: Dr. Bailey.
Bailey: Holding a child. If I wanted to spend the day holding a child, I would have stayed home to hold my own child. I didn't do a single medical thing today. I didn't even put a band aid on a patient. I'm... I'm just tired. I'm done.
Arizona: Are you gonna tell your husband?
Bailey: What would I tell him?
Arizona: That it's more than just cutting. Pedes is more than just cutting. And, what you did today was heroic, and you know it.
Bailey: Ok. Maybe I'll tell him that.

Derek: He has a long recovery ahead of him. He has severely damaged his facial nerves, shattered his inner ear, and lost a great deal of blood.
Patient's Wife: Oh my God.
Mark: But, he'll be fine. He'll be in some pain for a while, but he'll be fine.
Patient's Wife: Oh my God, thank you. Thank you both so much.
Derek: Thank Dr. Sloan. That kind of bleed, not many surgeons could have handled. He saved your husband's life. Would you like to see your husband now?
Patient's Wife: Yes, thank you.

Cristina: Get a crash cart. Izzie Stevens's room. [Cristina checks her pulse. Izzie starts laughing] What?
Izzie: Oh my god, I'm sorry. You should see your face right now, its... your totally freaking out face.
Cristina: You're joking? This is a joke?
Izzie: I'm sorry. I really did need you though. Um, I have all these dresses here and I keep trying to page Meredith to come try them on and she won't answer the page. So, will you tell her to come in here. She'll listen to you.

Meredith: [voiceover] To do our jobs we have to believe defeat is not an option. That no matter how sick our patients get, there’s hope for them. But even when our hopes give way to reality, and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we’ve lost to today’s battle, not tomorrow’s war. Here’s the thing about surrender, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were fighting in the first place.

No Good at Saying Sorry (One More Chance) [5.21][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Remember when we were little and we would accidentally bite a kid on the playground. Our teachers would go, “Say you’re sorry”, and we would say it, but we wouldn’t mean it cause the stupid kid we bit, totally deserved it. But as we get older, making amends isn’t so simple. After the playground days are over you can’t just say it, you have to mean it. Of course when you become a doctor, sorry is not a happy word. It either means you’re dying and I can’t help. Or it means this is really going to hurt.

Richard: I see that you're angry, and may be angry with your mother.
Meredith: Don't do that! I'm not your friend, and I am not your family. You don't get to call me into your office on personal business, and you don't get to speak to me this way right now. It's an abuse of power. I'm a resident. I work for you. You have to speak to me like I'm a resident. And for the record Chief, somebody had to stand up for that little girl, and I make no apologies for that.
Richard: You wanna just be a resident? Fine. Alright then. That woman is a victim of domestic violence. This hospital is supposed to be a safe place for her to come and tell her story. And as her doctors it is our job to help her. You did not do your job. Instead you further battered a battered woman.
Meredith: What about the little girl!
Richard: Dr. Grey. You will stay away from that child. You will stay away from that family. You will not come within 100 feet of them. And if you do, you will be suspended from this hospital pending reevaluation of your emotional and mental fitness for residency.

Cristina: Nice work today? Seriously?
Owen: I'm sorry?
Cristina: 'Run to my truck.' You've got O'Malley clipping bleeders and you're telling me to run to your truck.
Owen: You know what my truck looks like. O'Malley doesn't. And that- that run you took, it saved a guy's life.
Cristina: Yeah, well, all day... all day you were teaching O'Malley and you ignored me.
Owen: O'Malley wants to be a trauma surgeon. You've already declared cardio. I didn't do anything wrong today. I treated you like I would anyone else.
Cristina: No, not like anyone else. 'Take care now.' What is that? What are you, like, you know, happy now? What- what are you? You know, just a "choke 'em and forget 'em" kinda guy? "Hey there now. Take care now. Nice work, Yang." What is this?
Owen: It's my shrink. My shrink gave me these sentences. We- we, uh, we came up with them together. They're all 3-word sentences so I'd have things to say to you instead of the three words that are... that are killing me. The three words that you know I feel but I can't say them, because it would be cruel to say them because I am no good for you. I don't want to torture you. I don't want to look at you longingly when I know I can't be with you. So, yeah, I'm smiling and I'm saying 'take care now.' I'm letting you off the hook. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to let you off the hook. I'm trying to make it right, what I did to you. Can't you see that? I'm just trying to make it right.
Cristina: Take care now.

Meredith: Oh great, is this another heart to heart?
Chief: I know you don't like me, and you have every right not to like me, I have abused my power but now I'm here on your turf. What I need to say, what I need to say is, I saw what your mother was doing, I saw how neglected you were, I saw her drive your father off and I spent a lot of time beating myself up about that, but what does that do for you, nothing, nothing. I wasn't your advocate, I didn't fight for you, I never stood up for you. I let myself off the hook, I told myself I was young and I didn't know any better, but I did know better, I wasn't much younger than you are now. I should've fought for you Meredith, like you fought for that child today, I told myself that I wasn't your father, that it wasn't my responsibility, that I was right not to but in, I let myself off the hook. You were helpless, you were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny, little girl, and no one stood up for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Meredith: [voiceover] As doctors we can’t undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them, but it’s a hazard of the trade. But as human beings we can always try to do better, to be better, to re-write a wrong even if it feels irreversible. Of course, “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways: as a weapon, as an excuse. But when we are really sorry. When we use it right. When we mean it. When actions say what words never can. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is perfect. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption.

What A Difference A Day Makes [5.22][edit]

Becca: Today’s the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a grown up. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents. Accountable for more than my grades. Today I become accountable to the world, to the future, to all the possibilities life has to offer. Starting today, my job is to show up, wide-eyed and willing and ready. For what? For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today my friends our lives begin and I for one, can’t wait.

Meredith: Alex.
Alex: Bailey says Shepherd found another tumor, in Izzie's brain. Did you hear?
Meredith: I heard.
Alex: I just...
Meredith: Alex.
Alex: He doesn't think he's gonna get it out this time. I think... [crying] I think she's gonna die on me. I think she's really gonna die. Ugh! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for a wedding?
Meredith: Well, that's what I came to talk to you about.

Izzie: Oh Mer, I don't even know how to... I... Thank you
Meredith: Okay, so who's the maid of honor, me or Christina?
Izzie: Christina. Alex, he needs a best man and he was asking for you.
Christina: So, what am I? Leftovers?
Izzie: You tried to save my live. That makes you honorable.

Alex: Today is the day my life begins. All my life I’ve been just me, just a smart-mouthed kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities our marriage has to offer. Together no matter what happens, I’ll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life begins. And I for one, can’t wait.

Izzie: You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?
Denny: I bet you ... you made a beautiful bride.
Izzie: It was a beautiful day.
Alex: You put the scarf on. I told you, you don't need it. You look gorgeous without it.
Denny: He's right.
Izzie: Go away now. Go away, I wanna be alone with my husband.
Alex: [Takes off her scarf, and kisses her forehead] My wife is hot! [Izzie giggles and smiles]

Here's to the Future [5.23][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house you’re going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.

Swinder: The test impaired your memory to such a degree that I have to strongly recommend that you don't have the surgery.
Derek: Izzie, the test was the worst case scenario. The result has nothing to do with the surgery.
Swinder: We don't know that.
Derek: But what I do know is that not operating is every bit as risky as the surgery itself. If not more. But, it's up to you.
Izzie: What do you think?
Alex: I think he's talking to you, not me.
Derek: I'll leave you two alone to discuss this.
Alex: Ah, I'll come with you. I have a couple of questions.
Izzie: Wait, Alex.
Alex: Think about what you want to do for a second, ok? I'll be right back. ‘’[everyone but Mer leaves the room. Mer closes the door]’’
Meredith: You are not having the surgery!

Izzie: If Derek cuts the tumor out I could lose my memory, and if he doesn't I can die. I don't know what to do. Alex, tell me what to do.
Alex: Iz, I can't tell you what to do.
Izzie: Of course you can, you're my husband. That's what husbands do, they stomp around telling their wives what to do. It's your job.
Alex: My job is to support whatever you wanna do.
Izzie: I don't know what I wanna do. That's why I'm asking you. Ok, I have an idea. Let's put it to a vote. All in favor of the surgery.
Meredith: No. We're not voting. No ones... no ones voting.
Izzie: Opposed?
Cristina: I'm opposed... to voting.
Izzie: Just decide for me. Please?
Alex: You don't have to know right now. Think about it.
Izzie: I don't have time.

Denny: Nice ring. Alex outdid himself.
Izzie: We're gonna have beautiful kids. Is 4 too many?
Denny: 4 is perfect.
Izzie: Ideally it would be 2 boys, and 2 girls. One of which would definitely be a tom boy. And I was thinking I should have them pretty close together, though that might be stupid.
Denny: Why wait?
Izzie: Exactly. That way if I'm not able to practice medicine anymore...
Denny: You won't want to.
Izzie: You don't think?
Denny: Do you?
Izzie: I'm asking you. Why do you keep agreeing with everything I say?
Denny: Because I am you. I'm your tumor. You're talking to yourself.
Izzie: Right.
Denny: At least until you have surgery. If you have surgery. Are you gonna have surgery?

Meredith: [voiceover] We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.

Now or Never [5.24][edit]

Meredith: [voiceover] Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it.

Meredith: How's she doing? Any better?
Cristina: No.
Meredith: Damn. Well, I'm going to city hall to go do the thing.
Cristina: Seriously? It doesn't seem like the day for it.
Meredith: Look at Alex. He's in there working so hard every day, and she doesn't know. And, if she stays like this she may never know how much he loves her. And that girl Amanda, she's in there loving a stranger. She thinks that's her prince charming. I mean, he's probably gonna die today. Chances are. So yeah, I'm gonna go get married, because I think it's important to take the time to tell the people you love how much you love them while they can hear you. I love you Cristina Yang. [smiles]
Cristina: You have changed.
Meredith: Mmmm... Maybe I have. What?
Cristina: I'm gonna hug you.

Cristina: She just had brain surgery, an aggressive course of IL2. She needs rest.
Alex: She needs to exercise whatever memory she’s got left before it turns to mush
Cristina: Well she’s not going heal with you barking orders at her like a caveman.
Alex: Butt out Yang.
Cristina: You know she’s my patient. I don’t care if you’re her husband.
Alex: Look, she…
Cristina: You wanna see how fast I can get your visiting hours down to zero?
Alex: She signed a DNR. She signed a fricking DNR and made me promise me that she’d come out of this with a life, not in a hospital bed, not with no brain. I had to promise she’d have a life. You wanna know what happens if she can’t make no new memories? Forget about being a doctor. She’s going to need round the clock baby sitters. We get an apartment together, she can’t even find her way to the damn toilet, track her on her ankle in case god forbids, she wanders out the front door.
Cristina: Alex, you can handle this, she will get better.
Alex: Maybe, maybe not. It’s on me. Her future is on me.

Derek: Meredith...
Meredith: No, you know let's go, we gotta go. We gotta run to city hall, we'll come back, you'll check on Izzie, we'll monitor John Doe, I'll go talk George out of joining the army!
Derek: Look, we'll do this another day-
Meredith: There is no other day! Everyday is like this, everyday there is a crisis, there's no time.
Derek: Meredith...
Meredith: I love you and i do want to marry you, today. But there is no time.
Derek: [Cups her face with his hands] Do you have a piece of paper?
Meredith: For what?
Derek: I want to be with you forever. And you want to be with me forever. In order to do that, we need to make vows. A commitment. A contract. [Pause] Give me, a piece of paper.
Meredith: I don't! I-I-I don't...I have post-its. [Hands him posts-its and a pen. Derek goes and sits on the bench]
Derek: Okay...what do we want to promise each other?
Meredith: That you'll love me, even when you hate me.
Derek: To love each other...even when we hate each other. [writes it down on the post-its] No running. Ever. Nobody walks out. [Meredith joins him on the benches] No matter what happens.
Meredith: No running.
Derek: What else?
Meredith: That we'll take care of each other even when we're old and smelly and senile. And...if i get Alzheimer's and i forget you...
Derek: I will you remind you who i am, every day. [They smile at each other] To take care when old, senile, smelly. This...is..forever. [Derek finishes writing on the post-it, then gives it and the pen to Meredith] Sign.
Meredith: This is our wedding? A post-it?
Derek: Mhmm. Well, if you sign it. [Meredith signs it happily and then hands it back to Derek]
Meredith: Now what?
Derek: Now, I kiss the bride. [He kisses her tenderly. Meredith's smiling as they kiss. Then Derek slowly pulls back]
Meredith: Married.
Derek: Married. [Derek puts the post-it note with their vows and signatures on the back of her cubby, then turns to her] You see that? Plenty of time.

Meredith: [voiceover] Did you say it? "I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life." Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around. Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.

Cast[edit]



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