Grounded for Life
Grounded for Life (2001-2005) is an American television sitcom set in an Irish neighborhood of Staten Island, New York and is about the comedic interplay of the Irish Catholic Finnerty family.
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 Season 1
 Lily B. Good [1.1]
- Henry: Dad said we couldn't get a cable box, they're too expensive.
- Eddie: Your dad and I live in two different worlds.
- Jimmy: Uncle Eddie, it's stolen isn't it?
- Eddie: 'Stolen' would be a word from your dad's world.
- [referring to Sean throwing chicken at a car when he sees Brad and Lily making out in it]
- Claudia: [giggles]
- Sean: It's not funny! I didn't know what else to do.
- Claudia: How is throwing chicken even an option?!
- Claudia: Walt, why are my children on a chain gang?
- Walt: I am teaching these boys how to dig a hole
- Sean: Why?
- Walt: A good hole can serve a boy in a lot of ways. It helps them focus, lets them sweat, and makes them appreciate a warm bed at night.
- Claudia: How much is there to teach about a hole?
- Walt: That's the kind of attitude that leads to substandard holes.
- Sean: Well there was more than just chicken.
- Claudia: Biscuits?
- Sean: NO, no.
- Eddie: So you still have the biscuits?
- Sean: No, there were no biscuits! I'm talking about an additional incident.
- Eddie: I can't believe you didn't get biscuits, they come with the chicken.
- Sean: I didn't get any biscuits! Look I went out to get a bucket of chicken, I got a bucket of chicken.
- Eddie: You would have had to specifically asked them to leave the biscuits out!
 In My Room
- [in Christina's room]
- Christina: Hey, Lily, this is weird, you're online.
- Lily: No, I'm not.
- Christina: Yes, you are. Your screen name just popped up on my buddy list, see?
- Lily: No way! Uh, somebody signed on with my name!
- Christina: No!
- Lily: Yes! Send them an instant message. "Lily, what are you doing?"
- Christina: They're not answering.
- Lily: Type "Are you there?" This is so freaking me out!
- Christina: Totally!
- [person on lily's screen name types 'Yes...just hanging around...you know, just keeping it fresh.']
- Christina: Yes, just hanging around, you know, just keeping it fresh?
- Lily: [furious] Oh, my God. It's my dad.
- Christina: How do you know?
- Lily: It's him.
- Neighbor: How's it goin' Mr. Finnerty?
- Sean: Ah, you know, keepin' it fresh.
- Lily: Did he really say keeping it fresh?
- Claudia: [shaking head] I'll talk to him.
- [end flash back]
- Christina: Should we sign off?
- Lily: No, move over.
- Walt: Back in my day we used to play Cowboys and Indians. Of course that was when you were allowed to say Indian. You can't say Indian anymore.
- Henry: I'm not allowed to say bite me.
- Jimmy: Be quiet.
- Henry: Bite me, Indian!
 I Wanna Be Suspended
- Sean: Hey, Lily, you liked the Ramones, didn't you?
- Lily: Well, the music was good, but I kept worrying they were gonna die.
 Devil with a Plaid Skirt
- Preacher: Have you tried talking to Jimmy about this?
- Sean: Oh, I tried, but it kind of backfired.
- [flash back]
- Sean: See, Jimmy, you're not possessed by Satan because...there is no Satan!
- [Henry looks up devilishly,scene cuts to school]
- Henry: [talking to a large group of classmates] My dad says there's no such thing as Satan, which means there's no such thing as hell, which means you can pretty much do what ever you want, so go right ahead. [complete anarchy ensues]
- [end flashback]
- Preacher: And you wonder why Sister Helen has it in for your family?
- Sean: Out! She has it out for our family. And i couldn't have forseen that!
 Action Mountain High
 You Can't Always Get What You Want
 Like a Virgin
 Devil's Haircut
 Eddie's Dead
 Catch Us If You Can
 Jimmy's Got a Gun
- Henry: Why am I in church naked?
- Henry: Sorry, God.
 Jimmy Was Kung-Fu Fighting
- Henry: Hey, Reynolds! Do you know what the T in T-Birds stands for?... THE LOSER!!! HA!
 Mrs. Finnerty, You've Got a Lovely Daughter
 Season 2
 Baby, You Can't Drive My Car
 Dream On
 Don't Let Me Download
 Rubber Sold
 Bang on a Drum
 Smoke on the Daughter
- Sean: Ooh, an armoire.
- Claudia: That's what they call it.
- Sean: (in French accent) Oh, then we should buy this "armoire"' and put it in the "boudoir" next to the "toilette". Ooh-la-la.
 I Saw Daddy Hitting Santa Claus
 Let's Talk About Sex, Henry
 Is She Really Going Out with Walt?
 We Are Family
 Mr. Roboto
 Don't Fear the Reefer
 Take It to the Limit
- Lily: Yeah! Well...I read somewhere that compulsive shopping was a disease!
- Sean: Cholera is a disease. Compulsive shopping is something a 16 year-old does when she wants to look cute for a party and someone gives her a credit card.
- [Sean turns to face Claudia]
 Eddie Said Knock You Out
 Safety Dance
 The Kids Are Alright
 Swearin' to God
- Eddie: Hey! I was in the ScienceNauts!
- Sean: Oh yea, I remember.
- [flash back]
- Nun: Edward, Last month the school's electricity bill was extremely high, and I have yet to see one tomato!
- [Eddie and two other boys are standing around marijuana plants.]
- Eddie: Don't worry, Sister, I think I see one budding.
- [end flash back]
- Walt: How come I never got one of those tomatoes?
 Eddie and This Guy with Diamonds
 I Fought the In-Laws
 Dust in the Wind
 Oops!.. I Did It Again
 Season 3
 I Didn't Start the Fire
 Mustang Lily
 Cat Scratch Fever
 Drive Me Crazy
 Just Like a Woman
 Henry's Been Working for the Drug Squad
 Cuts like a Knife
 Who Are You?
 Welcome to the Working Week
 Claudia in Disguise with Glasses
 Tonight's the Night
 Oh, What a Knight
 Part Time Lover
 Season 4
 Your Father Should Know (1)
 Your Father Should Know (2)
 All the Young Nudes
 I Right the Wrongs
 I Just Paid to Say I Love You
 S.A.T. and Sympathy
 Pay You Back with Interest
 Ticket to Ride
 Smells Like Teen Spirit
 Baby Come Back
 Been Caught Stealing
 (She's Got) Kegs
 My Ex-Boyfriend's Back
 Communication Breakdown
 All Apologies
- Claudia: I'm gonna kill you!
- Eddie: What'd I do?
- Claudia: You're a degenerate scumbag!
- Eddie: Could you be more specific?
- Eddie: You and Claudia, and the kids were outta town. It seemed a shame to let a perfectly good porn set go to waste.
- Sean: It's not a porno set. It's our house!
- Sean: You've gotta let her know you learned something from this.
- Eddie: Yeah... So what'd I learn?
- Sean: Not to shoot porno in our house!!
- Eddie: I learned something.
- Claudia: Oh, really? What did you learn?
- Eddie: That what I did was wrong. And to respect you. And respect your house. And respect that you got a thing about people shooting porn in it.
- Henry: Great now Uncle Eddie isn't allowed over. Now I'm gonna have a porno birthday!
 I Think We're Alone Now
 Can't Get Next to You
 Me and Mrs. O
 Tombstone Blues
 Pictures of Willy
 It's Hard to be a Saint in the City
 Beat on the Brat
 The Cheat Is On
 Pressure Drop
 Get a Job
 Space Camp Oddity
 Season 5
 The Policy of Truth
 Man, I Feel Like a Woman
 One Is the Loneliest Number
 Day Tripper
 You Better You Bet
 Psycho Therapy
 I'm Looking Through You
 Mystery Dance
 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy
 Tom Sawyer
 The Letter(s)
 Hello, Goodbye
 Unidentified Episodes
- :Sean: Why are you answering questions with questions?
- Eddie: Why does that concern you?
- Claudia: Sean, when did you say you got this call?
- Sean: Uh...When was it? Yea, Tuesday.
- Claudia: Okay, Okay. Then, why is the message on a receipt from today?
- Sean: What? What do you mean? What's today?
- Eddie: It 'aint Tuesday.
IMDB Grounded for Life Memorable Quotes http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0255734/quotes