Grounded for Life

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Grounded for Life (2001-2005) is an American television sitcom set in an Irish neighborhood of Staten Island, New York and is about the comedic interplay of the Irish Catholic Finnerty family.

Contents

Season 1[edit]

Lily B. Good [1.1][edit]

Henry: Dad said we couldn't get a cable box, they're too expensive.
Eddie: Your dad and I live in two different worlds.
Jimmy: Uncle Eddie, it's stolen isn't it?
Eddie: 'Stolen' would be a word from your dad's world.

[referring to Sean throwing chicken at a car when he sees Brad and Lily making out in it]
Claudia: [giggles]
Sean: It's not funny! I didn't know what else to do.
Claudia: How is throwing chicken even an option?!

Claudia: Walt, why are my children on a chain gang?
Walt: I am teaching these boys how to dig a hole
Sean: Why?
Walt: A good hole can serve a boy in a lot of ways. It helps them focus, lets them sweat, and makes them appreciate a warm bed at night.
Claudia: How much is there to teach about a hole?
Walt: That's the kind of attitude that leads to substandard holes.

Sean: Well there was more than just chicken.
Claudia: Biscuits?
Sean: NO, no.
Eddie: So you still have the biscuits?
Sean: No, there were no biscuits! I'm talking about an additional incident.
Eddie: I can't believe you didn't get biscuits, they come with the chicken.
Sean: I didn't get any biscuits! Look I went out to get a bucket of chicken, I got a bucket of chicken.
Eddie: You would have had to specifically asked them to leave the biscuits out!

In My Room[edit]


[in Christina's room]
Christina: Hey, Lily, this is weird, you're online.
Lily: No, I'm not.
Christina: Yes, you are. Your screen name just popped up on my buddy list, see?
Lily: No way! Uh, somebody signed on with my name!
Christina: No!
Lily: Yes! Send them an instant message. "Lily, what are you doing?"
Christina: They're not answering.
Lily: Type "Are you there?" This is so freaking me out!
Christina: Totally!
[person on lily's screen name types 'Yes...just hanging around...you know, just keeping it fresh.']
Christina: Yes, just hanging around, you know, just keeping it fresh?
Lily: [furious] Oh, my God. It's my dad.
Christina: How do you know?
Lily: It's him.
[flashback]
Neighbor: How's it goin' Mr. Finnerty?
Sean: Ah, you know, keepin' it fresh.
Lily: Did he really say keeping it fresh?
Claudia: [shaking head] I'll talk to him.
[end flash back]
Christina: Should we sign off?
Lily: No, move over.

Walt: Back in my day we used to play Cowboys and Indians. Of course that was when you were allowed to say Indian. You can't say Indian anymore.
Henry: I'm not allowed to say bite me.
Jimmy: Be quiet.
Henry: Bite me, Indian!

I Wanna Be Suspended[edit]

Sean: Hey, Lily, you liked the Ramones, didn't you?
Lily: Well, the music was good, but I kept worrying they were gonna die.

Devil with a Plaid Skirt[edit]

Preacher: Have you tried talking to Jimmy about this?
Sean: Oh, I tried, but it kind of backfired.
[flash back]
Sean: See, Jimmy, you're not possessed by Satan because...there is no Satan!
[Henry looks up devilishly,scene cuts to school]
Henry: [talking to a large group of classmates] My dad says there's no such thing as Satan, which means there's no such thing as hell, which means you can pretty much do what ever you want, so go right ahead. [complete anarchy ensues]
[end flashback]
Preacher: And you wonder why Sister Helen has it in for your family?
Sean: Out! She has it out for our family. And i couldn't have forseen that!

Action Mountain High[edit]

You Can't Always Get What You Want[edit]

Like a Virgin[edit]

Devil's Haircut[edit]

Eddie's Dead[edit]

Catch Us If You Can[edit]

Jimmy's Got a Gun[edit]

Henry: Why am I in church naked?
Henry: Sorry, God.

Jimmy Was Kung-Fu Fighting[edit]

Loser[edit]


Henry: Hey, Reynolds! Do you know what the T in T-Birds stands for?... THE LOSER!!! HA!

Mrs. Finnerty, You've Got a Lovely Daughter[edit]

Season 2[edit]

Baby, You Can't Drive My Car[edit]

Dream On[edit]

Don't Let Me Download[edit]

Rubber Sold[edit]

Bang on a Drum[edit]

Smoke on the Daughter[edit]


Sean: Ooh, an armoire.
Claudia: That's what they call it.
Sean: (in French accent) Oh, then we should buy this "armoire"' and put it in the "boudoir" next to the "toilette". Ooh-la-la.

I Saw Daddy Hitting Santa Claus[edit]

Let's Talk About Sex, Henry[edit]

Is She Really Going Out with Walt?[edit]

We Are Family[edit]

Mr. Roboto[edit]

Don't Fear the Reefer[edit]

Take It to the Limit[edit]


Lily: Yeah! Well...I read somewhere that compulsive shopping was a disease!
Sean: Cholera is a disease. Compulsive shopping is something a 16 year-old does when she wants to look cute for a party and someone gives her a credit card.
[Sean turns to face Claudia]

Eddie Said Knock You Out[edit]

Safety Dance[edit]

Relax![edit]

The Kids Are Alright[edit]

Swearin' to God[edit]


Eddie: Hey! I was in the ScienceNauts!
Sean: Oh yea, I remember.
[flash back]
Nun: Edward, Last month the school's electricity bill was extremely high, and I have yet to see one tomato!
[Eddie and two other boys are standing around marijuana plants.]
Eddie: Don't worry, Sister, I think I see one budding.
[end flash back]
Walt: How come I never got one of those tomatoes?

Eddie and This Guy with Diamonds[edit]

I Fought the In-Laws[edit]

Dust in the Wind[edit]

Oops!.. I Did It Again[edit]

Season 3[edit]

I Didn't Start the Fire[edit]

Mustang Lily[edit]

Cat Scratch Fever[edit]

Drive Me Crazy[edit]

Just Like a Woman[edit]

Henry's Been Working for the Drug Squad[edit]

Cuts like a Knife[edit]

Who Are You?[edit]

Welcome to the Working Week[edit]

Claudia in Disguise with Glasses[edit]

Tonight's the Night[edit]

Oh, What a Knight[edit]

Part Time Lover[edit]

Season 4[edit]

Your Father Should Know (1)[edit]

Your Father Should Know (2)[edit]

All the Young Nudes[edit]

I Right the Wrongs[edit]

I Just Paid to Say I Love You[edit]

S.A.T. and Sympathy[edit]

Pay You Back with Interest[edit]

Ticket to Ride[edit]

Smells Like Teen Spirit[edit]

Baby Come Back[edit]

Been Caught Stealing[edit]

(She's Got) Kegs[edit]

My Ex-Boyfriend's Back[edit]

Communication Breakdown[edit]

All Apologies[edit]

Claudia: I'm gonna kill you!
Eddie: What'd I do?
Claudia: You're a degenerate scumbag!
Eddie: Could you be more specific?

Eddie: You and Claudia, and the kids were outta town. It seemed a shame to let a perfectly good porn set go to waste.
Sean: It's not a porno set. It's our house!

Sean: You've gotta let her know you learned something from this.
Eddie: Yeah... So what'd I learn?
Sean: Not to shoot porno in our house!!

Eddie: I learned something.
Claudia: Oh, really? What did you learn?
Eddie: That what I did was wrong. And to respect you. And respect your house. And respect that you got a thing about people shooting porn in it.

Henry: Great now Uncle Eddie isn't allowed over. Now I'm gonna have a porno birthday!

I Think We're Alone Now[edit]

Can't Get Next to You[edit]

Racketman[edit]

Me and Mrs. O[edit]

Eddie: Hey, Brad, how's it going?
Brad: It's going great... MOTHER LOVER!

[Two girls are talking and Jimmy interrupts]
Jimmy: I know!
Girl #1: You know what?
Jimmy: You know, what you were just talking about...
Girl #2: You've kissed a guy with a mustache?

Sean: Here's the pinata.
Brad: That's not a gray alien.
Sean: It's the only kind they had.
Brad: It's the only kind the government wants you to have.

Henry: Fruit! Is this some kind of sick joke?!

Henry: (After Brad continues to beat the piñata even though it's on the ground and broken open) Don't hurt the candy!

Tombstone Blues[edit]

Pictures of Willy[edit]

It's Hard to be a Saint in the City[edit]

Beat on the Brat[edit]

The Cheat Is On[edit]

Pressure Drop[edit]

Get a Job[edit]

Liliy: Dad can you drive me and Brad to the mall?
Sean: No
Walt: I'll drive you.
Lily: You don't have to work tonight, Grandpa?
Walt: No, these guys just canned my ass.

Space Camp Oddity[edit]

Season 5[edit]

The Policy of Truth[edit]

Claudia: I'm naming this baby Ass Jr.
Sean: You always say that.

Man, I Feel Like a Woman[edit]

One Is the Loneliest Number[edit]

Day Tripper[edit]

You Better You Bet[edit]

Psycho Therapy[edit]

I'm Looking Through You[edit]

Mystery Dance[edit]

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy[edit]

Tom Sawyer[edit]

Eddie: Look at that man I told you, you touched somebody.
Jimmy: Yep, and I'm gonna touch her again on Friday.

Lily: (bitterly) Yes.
Sean: No. Not no "yes", Yes "yes"!
Lily': (bitterly) Okay.
Sean: No! Not no "okay", Yes "okay"!
Lily: OKAY!

Lily: Why don't you just knock me up in high school like my dad did to my mom?!

Claudia: We talked, you know, on the phone, about that thing with Jimmy and your daughter.
Adrianna: He stalked her relentlessly for a month.
Claudia: He's at that age.

Lily: I guess I'm not as stupid as you thought I was, huh?
Brad: I guess not. I mean… I never thought you were stupid, I thought you were pretty… I'll just let myself out.

The Letter(s)[edit]

Sean: Hey babe, I wrote a letter to the Home Owner's Association. Could you read it and tell me what you think?
Claudia: Sure... (Reading letter) "I, Claudia Finnerty, am a lying sack of lying lies... P.S. I am also crazy."

Jimmy: You guys really don't have to do this.
Lilly: Okay then, let's throw away this garbage and fire away some cow flesh.

Eddie: (about what to give Lily) You can't go wrong with apparel.
Brad: That's what I was thinking. What if I, What if I printed my picture on a sweat shirt?
Eddie: I'm talking about nice apparel, a nightgown or underwear.
Brad: I could put my picture on some underwear!!

Eddie: Got it. So if you're not smoking pot, why were you laughing at The Teletubbies?
Jimmy: (laughing slightly) Oh, Dipsy tripped over Po and landed in the flower garden.

Crazy[edit]

Jimmy: I don't think so. Brian this is my team now.
Brian: I've been gone less than a week.
Jimmy: Well (while doing cheer motions)T-O-O B-A-D Too bad!
Brian: I invented those moves.
Jimmy: Yeah well I made them mine, pal! SO back off!
Brian: No way! You'll never have the pep I have.
Jimmy: Hey! Talk to the pom-poms!

Claudia: You tricked all those people in to coming to my baby shower, so you could unload your failing bar on a crazy woman?
Sean: Yea, I would have tricked your friends too, if they where around.

Hello, Goodbye[edit]

Claudia: (on phone in hospital bed) Yeah, Mom, she's seven pounds, six ounces. Oh yeah she's very cute. No I can't put her on the phone. First of all because she's one hour old. Second of all the nurses took her for some tests. (Sean walks in) Hey, listen, Sean's back so um tell Dad I love him.
Sean: Hey babe.
Claudia: Hey!
Sean: Hey babe, I brought some balloons for the baby.
Claude: Hey great she'll love them.

Mara: Is this seat taken?
Walt: No Ma'am!
(Laughing, hugging and kissing)
Eddie: (to Claudia and Sean) See this kinda thing might have tipped us off.

Claudia: How can our daughter be graduating from High School, huh? We're too young for this. It seems like we just graduated from this place remember?
Sean: Oh yeah, I remember. You were pregnant with Lily and you wanted me dead.
Claudia: Well you knocked me up for Lily's graduation too. Sort of a poetry to that, don't you think?
Sean: Maybe a dirty limerick.

Brad: Wow can you believe this will be the last time we'll be in this hallway?
Lily: We have to come back tomorrow to give back our caps and gowns.
Brad: No no that's outside the cafeteria. This is going to be the last time we'll be here, in this hallway, outside Annex Two.

Walt: Hey, son, that seat's saved.
Eddie: For who?
Walt: Somebody asked me to save a seat.
Eddie: You're saving a seat for a stranger?
Walt: I'm saving a seat for my girlfriend, ok? Wow! The ads in this program are in color!

Unidentified Episodes[edit]

:Sean: Why are you answering questions with questions?
Eddie: Why does that concern you?

Claudia: Sean, when did you say you got this call?
Sean: Uh...When was it? Yea, Tuesday.
Claudia: Okay, Okay. Then, why is the message on a receipt from today?
Sean: What? What do you mean? What's today?
Eddie: It 'aint Tuesday.

IMDB Grounded for Life Memorable Quotes http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0255734/quotes