Hawaii Five-0

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For quotes from the original series from 1968-1980, see Hawaii Five-O.

Hawaii Five-0 is a police procedural television series which premiered in 2010 on CBS. It is a reimagining of the original Hawaii Five-O.


Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.1][edit]

McGarrett: I've been tracking Victor Hesse for five years. If he were bold enough to surface, I promise you he already has an exit strategy planned, and he knows I know it, which means I can barely afford the hour it's going to take to bury my father, let alone stand here talking to you. Excuse me.
Governor Patricia Jameson: I can help you find this son of a bitch, with full immunity and means. Your task force will have blanket authority to go after guys like Hesse and get them the Hell off my island. Your rules, my backing, no red tape. I promise you, Commander. What you see is what you get.

McGarrett: Your captain said you transferred in from New Jersey six months ago, so your eye’s still fresh.
Danny: You know, I appreciate it, but my psych eval’s not for six weeks.
McGarrett: Fold-out bed, no ring on your finger—you obviously moved here to be close to your daughter. Which means in between visits, all you got is your job, and you take pride in it. That’s what I’m looking for.
Danny: Yeah, but you know what? It’s guys like you who think you know how to do everything better, and that only makes my job harder.
McGarrett: You got no choice, detective. The governor gave me jurisdiction; I’m making you my partner. We’re gonna get along great.

Chin: Look, I can't be a cop anymore.
McGarrett: Why not?
Chin: Because I can't be! You understand? HPD accused me of taking payoffs, so I'm the last person the department wants to see wearing a badge. I've gotta go.
Danny: This is going really well.
McGarrett: Did you take the money?
Chin: Excuse me?
McGarrett: [more directly] Did you take the money?
Chin: No.
McGarrett: Then come with us. And we don't need to talk about this again. Ever. This is your ticket back into the game. Call it payback, call it whatever you want, I don't care, but I need you.
Chin: How do you know you can trust me?
McGarrett: Because my old man did.

[interrogating Sang Min]
McGarrett: You're going to jail. That part's not up for negotiation; your family is about to lose a husband and a father. In my eyes, now they're your victims, too. The trouble is, the law doesn't see it that way. Your wife, she's from Rwanda. She'll be sent back; they both will. If they're lucky, they'll make it to a refugee camp. And your son... seven is old enough to hold a gun for the Hutu militia. I can prevent all that, but I don't help people who don't help me.
Sang Min: What kind of cops are you?
McGarrett: The new kind.

McGarrett: Tell the Coast Guard to find that body.
Danny: What do you want me to do with this one?
McGarrett: Book 'em, Danno.

Ohana [1.2][edit]

Danny: If the suspect dies, he loses the ability to speak—ergo, he’s useless to us!
McGarrett: "Ergo"?

McGarrett: Book ’im, Danno.
Danny: Really? Is this gonna be your thing?

Malama Ka Aina [1.3][edit]

Danny: What’s that look?
McGarrett: What look?
Danny: The look. The look you give me when you don’t tell me what you’re thinking, and the next thing I know I’m getting shot at.

[watching a video of one of McGarrett's high school football games]
Danny: I got one question. What’s a quarterback doing wearing the number fifty?
McGarrett: Five-0.
Danny: Yeah.
McGarrett: No, it’s not fifty, it’s five-0. It’s what my dad used to call our family, because we weren’t native Hawaiian. Five-0. I don’t know; it was his way of making us feel like we belonged somewhere I guess.
Kono: I like that. Five-0.

Lanakila [1.4][edit]

McGarrett: You saying I’m not cool?
Danny: In certain situations. Like when you’ve got a gun pointed in your face, or you’re trying to decide whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. But actual human interaction, mammal-to-mammal, you could use some work.
McGarrett: Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Danny: [to waitress] I like pancakes in the afternoon. You like pancakes?
McGarrett: I like pancakes.
Danny: Really? You seem like more of a napalm in the morning kind of guy.
McGarrett: That too.

[McGarrett is playing basketball with a prison inmate to get information on a suspect.]
Danny: [to McGarrett] So you know, the other guy getting the ball in the hoop—that’s bad.
McGarrett: Hey, Danno, shut up.
Danny: Do me a favor, don’t call me Danno, okay?
Prison Inmate: How long you two been married?

Nalowale [1.5][edit]

McGarrett: You don’t think I’m a happy person?
Danny: I’m sure you have your moments. Like when Guns & Ammo puts out its holiday gift guide, or a Rambo retrospective comes on TV.

[While meeting Gov Jameson, the Five-0 team hears piano playing coming from the morgue.)
Gov. Jameson: [wearily] That’s right, you haven’t met Dr. Bergman yet.

[as McGarrett brings up the security camera feed from the club]
Danny: They teach you that in SEAL school?
McGarrett: Yeah, it’s called the using the Internet. People have been doing it since the early ’90s. You might wanna look into it.
Danny: I guess I was still playing Ms. Pac-Man.
McGarrett: Yeah? You ever get to the double pretzel level?
Danny: Triple banana, bitch.
McGarrett: You’re a liar.

Ko'olauloa [1.6][edit]

Chin: [to Kono] Part of doing the job is knowing when you’re not the one to do the job.

McGarrett: There’s an easy way to do things on this island and a hard way. Talking to Kawika before we go after Levi and Diego is the easy way.
Danny: What’s throwing a guy in a shark tank or hanging a guy off a roof?
McGarrett: Those guys were from out of town.
Danny: You are a sick person you know that?
McGarrett: In the best possible way, right?
Danny: No! No, not in the best possible way! In a very terrible way! That wasn't a compliment, you understand?

Diego: We were with our PO.
Danny: Oh yeah?
Diego: You can call him.
Danny: I’m gonna call him, and you’re gonna sit right here while I do, and if he doesn’t vouch for you, we’re gonna get a lot less friendly. [about McGarrett] Well, he will; I’m always cordial.

[McGarrett drives; Danno hangs on for dear life.]
Danny: O-kay, I got a daughter…!
McGarrett: Don’t worry, I know these roads.
Danny: This is not a road! A road has asphalt and two lanes! This is dirt on a cliff!
McGarrett: You scared?
Danny: I’m not scared; I’m rationally concerned.

Ho'apono [1.7][edit]

Danny: I mean, I’m no detective—Wait a minute, where am I? Oh, I’m a detective!

Kono: I’ll go find out if the daughter saw anything. I mean, I’m the woman, so you’d probably ask me to do it anyway.
Danny: No, it’s not because you’re a woman, it’s because you’re a rookie, and that’s way worse.

[as McGarrett prepares to swim to the ship]
Danny: Good luck, Aquaman!

Steve: He's armed. He's holding seven hostages, behavior's pretty erratic.
Danny: Oh, you mean opposed to most hostage takers that are calm and composed?

McGarrett: I thought I told you to stay put.
Ed McKay: I’m an old man. I don’t hear so good.

Mana'o [1.8][edit]

McGarrett: I came to ask you a question.
Danny: Well, if it’s about the prom, I’m flattered, but I already have a date.

Po'ipu [1.9][edit]

McGarrett: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food?
Danny: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?

Heihei [1.10][edit]

Danny: [to McGarrett] Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling you like you owe me money.

Palekaiko [1.11][edit]

Danny: [about McGarrett] His idea of communication is dropping a witty one-liner and shooting you in the face.

Danny: [to Miller] Look at all these pictures. What are you, a stalkerrattzi or something?

Miller: I’m not saying anything else without my counsel here. If you want to ask me any more questions, you’re gonna have to book me.
Danny: [sees McGarrett brighten up and look at him] Do not say it.

McGarrett: Take that tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.
Danny: Yes, they do. They do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they’re bored.
McGarrett: Well, put it in your pocket. You can kill yourself later.

Kono: So you deal with dead bodies all day, and your hobby is dead bodies?
Dr. Bergman: I also make pickles. It’s a good way to reuse specimen jars.

Hana 'a'a Makehewa [1.12][edit]

Danny: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car?
McGarrett: I like to drive.
Danny: No, Rain Man liked to drive. You have control issues.

Danny: My tree is small. It’s depressing. It’s pathetic.
McGarrett: It’s perfect. It’s just like your apartment.

[looking at the bullets extracted from Victor Hesse]
Chin: You put two of those in Hesse and didn’t kill him?
Danny: Next time, shoot him in the face.

Ke Kinohi [1.13][edit]

(after McGarrett tells Governor Jameson that her biggest supporter is a Yakuza boss)
Gov. Jameson: [wearily] Is there any beer around here?
McGarrett: What?
Jameson: I have never known a Navy man who couldn’t find a lady a beer.

He Kane Hewa'ole [1.14][edit]

Danny: Hey, it’s the CHiPs! Remember CHiPs?
McGarrett: Of course I remember CHiPs. I always thought that’d be the coolest job—you know, riding motorcycles, fighting crime…
Danny: No, no, motorcycle cops have a five-times-higher mortality rate than other cops.
McGarrett: It’s a cop fantasy, Danny; why do you gotta bring statistics into it?
Danny: Cop fantasy... In my cop fantasy, I’d be Estrada, and you’d be Wilcox.

[while following a suspect]
Danny: Hey, not so close, Wilcox.
McGarrett: Don’t tell me how to tail a suspect. And if this was CHiPs, I’d be Estrada, you’d be Wilcox.
Danny: No way.

Kai e'e [1.15][edit]

Danny: If I'm going to die on this island which I never should've come to in the first place, your face is not the last face I want to see, you understand that? Respectfully, of course.
Steve: I know you like it here.
Danny: I like... here? Incorrect! You are incorrect, my friend!
Steve: Then why the board, huh? Did hell freeze over? Did I actually miss you trying to get up on that thing?

[The team discovers the money from the HPD asset forfeiture locker stashed inside sandbags stashed at a government building and try to pin the prime suspect]
Commander Hale: Coast Guard tracked that drug deal for six months. It was supposed to be our takedown. But then HPD swooped in and took the credit. Now I'm being pushed out before my twenty. No pension. No benefits. My country owes me.
Steve: Hey, let's clear things right now. You swore to defend and support this country no matter the cost. She doesn't owe you anything.

Danny: It's uh, gonna be your last chance to say it. Come on.
Steve: Book 'em, Danno.

E Malama [1.16][edit]

Chin: [to Kono] You know, there might be a few other things I could teach you, but I think you got the whole ass-kicking thing down.

Steve: I may not be able to see you, okay. But I can hear you. And you have a tone.
Danny: Tone? I don't have a tone. I don't have a tone.
Steve: You say I have a face. You, my friend, you have a tone. You have a tone, okay? And it's a tone that says "I'm gonna hit somebody."

Chin: [to Danny] Wasn't that the mother of your child?
Danny: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?
Chin: What?
Danny: The Ignore button. You know, I have theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.

Powa Maka Moana [1.17][edit]

Danny: [sees Kamekona in a tracksuit] When did you start jogging?
Kamekona: I'm in training, brah.
Danny: Did he just say he's in a training bra?

Steve: [sees Danny bent over] What are you doing?
Danny: Buying a car. What's it look like I'm doing?
Steve: It looks like you're doing downward dog, but I know you don't do yoga.
Danny: I'm stretching because my back hurts. Do you know why my back hurts?
Steve: No. Why does your back hurt?
Danny: Because I spent the morning pushing a car down the Pali Highway.
Steve: Ah. Where I come from that's called good exercise.
Danny: Where is that, Krypton? Where I come from, that's called a worker's comp settlement.

[Steve and Danny visit Samoan pawnshop operator Big Lono]
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: Not a chance.
Steve: I'll be back.
Danny: "I'll be back?" [to Big Lono] He's done a lot better, trust me. [To Steve] That's all you can come up with is "I'll be back?"
Steve: I've got something- I've got something good. [Goes outside]
Danny: [to Big Lono] You see what you did? I don't know what he's gonna do. But if I were you: I'd run out the back, side, roof - go! [Steve returns with a grenade] A grenade? He has a grenade. Why do you have a grenade? He's got a grenade. You see this? He's not bluffing? He will pull the pin and blow everybody up. Will you trust me, please?
Big Lono: That thing's not even real.
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: No way.
Steve: Okay. [Steve and Danny run outside as the grenade goes off]
Danny: What is wrong with you? You need help! I will pay for it!

Kono: [visits a bar full of coeds on spring break] Four year-college tuition, $200,000. Books and supplies, $50,000. Room and board, $25,000. [sees unconscious patron] Passing out with two cocktail olives up your nose...
Chin: Priceless.

Kono: What are the real chances of getting these kids back alive?
Steve: When my father was kidnapped, I knew from prior experience that no matter what I did that day, the results would not be good, okay? In these situations they rarely are... We're gonna change that. We're gonna get these kids back. We're gonna get them back alive!

Loa Aloha [1.18][edit]

Matt: We can hang out for the day and meet you for dinner. What do you think, Grace?
Grace: Yeah.
Danny: All right. But listen, no funny stuff. No trouble, okay?
Grace: I won't.
Danny: I know you won't. I'm talking to him.

Matt: Our parents would say, "Where's your brother?" and Danny would say, "Guess we lost him."
Rachel: You are horrible, Danny.
Danny: Yeah, well, I always came back for you, didn't I?

Matt: You gonna shoot me, Danny?
Danny: I should shoot you. You stupid son-of-a-bitch! Laundering money for drug dealers? What the hell's the matter with you?

Danny: [to Matt] Listen to me. Who do you think you're talking to, huh? Think you're talking to one of your dopey clients. I'm your brother! You don't lie to me!
Matt: What do you want to hear? That I took the money? Fine! I took the money!

Danny: [about his brother, Matt] Well, be warned. Mr. Wall Street has quite a personality.
Steve: Runs in family, huh?
Danny: Disorder. Personality disorder.

Ne Me'e Laua Na Paio [1.19][edit]

Steve: [about a snow globe] Why would you steal this?
Johnny: I've always wanted to go to Paris.
Steve: It's a beautiful city and if you go, you should pick yourself up a snow globe because that is Seattle.
Danny: That's the Space Needle, not the Eiffel Tower, you schmuck!

Steve: [to Danny] You stop for malstadas?
Danny: No.
Steve: You got evidence for a case?
Danny: Nope.
Steve: Alright, stop, stop. What's in the bag?
Danny: My, lunch, genius.
Steve: Your lunch? Okay, what'd you bring?
Danny: You got to know every detail of my life? What's it to you what my lunch is?
Steve: Cause you don't want to tell me! What, you think it's so fantastic I'm going to steal it? You fly in some deep-fried sandwich from New Jersey I'm not allowed to know about-
Danny: Salad, okay? Just a salad. That's it. There's nothing else in here. Grace has been taking a nutrition class and she is concerned about my cholesterol so I promised her I would eat better. Okay?
Steve: That's actually incredibly sweet.

Kono: "You don't find Johnny. He finds you."
Danny: You're gonna quote this schmuck now?
Kono: I can spoof Tiffany's cell and make it look like she's sending him a text.
Danny: Lure him here. I like it. But move over please. Because I'm gonna do this. Because it should be very filthy and you're a young lady.

Danny: [to Steve] I don't understand why you didn't just give them your files right there.
Steve: Must you know every detail of my life?
Danny: Hey, this is the CIA you're dealing with here. They wrote the book on advanced interrogation techniques, which I'm absolutely positive you have sitting on your bedside table right now. Just so you know, I understand, okay? I would not mind a one-on-one session with Jenna Kaye, the thought does stimulate my imagination too.
Steve: Legally the CIA can only interrogate foreign nationals.
Danny: Why do you do that? I had my fantasy worked out. You're like a devourer of dreams. You know what I mean. You like eat them. You're like a little Pacman in cargo pants.

Steve: [to Wo Fat while waiting for Jenna Kaye] What makes you think I won't kill you right here in this restaurant?
Wo Fat: "The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out." Old Chinese proverb.
Steve: [has a gun aimed at Wo Fat under the table] "Say hello to my little friend." Old American proverb.

Ma Ke Kahakai [1.20][edit]

Danny: With all due respect, what's wrong with an old fashioned baseball game, Steve? Huh?
Steve: Never been to a professional baseball game.
Danny: That doesn't surprise me at all.

Danny: I'm gonna come down, untangle the rope and I'm going to bring it to you, alright?
Steve: Take it easy, alright? [Danny starts to climb, but stumbles] Hey, easy! I'm not going to catch your ass if you fall!
Danny: I'd rather you not catch me if I fall, okay?

Danny: [about going through a case of fish shipped to Morimoto's] Okay buddy, after you.
Steve: That's for you, babe, I can't get my cast wet.
Danny: That's low. That's really low. What exactly are we looking for?
Steve: We'll know when we find it. So be thorough-
Danny: Be thorough, okay.
Steve: Yeah, check every fish Danny, every fish in the box.
Danny: You're gonna pay for this. One hundred percent.

Danny: This is not a hike, Steven. Your dad used to bring you up here?
Steve: Every year.
Danny: That explains a lot.

Ho'opa'i [1.21][edit]

Danny: We know who Jimmy Cannon is. What we don't know is who Reggie Cole is going to be once he finds out who the leak is or if he tracks down one of the shooters.
Steve: Well, you were married, you have a daughter. What would you do?
Danny: Well I would want to just kill everybody, but I would never do that. I would not risk going to prison, I could not do that to Grace. You, forget it. I don't even want to know what you would do.
Steve: Me, I would be by the book.
Danny: You would be by the book? Which book? The Patriot Act for Dummies? How to Nuke Your Enemies? War and Peace? Minus the peace part?

Jimmy Cannon: Every investigation against me has come up empty, you know why?
Steve: No, why?
Cannon: Because there's nothing to find. Now, growing up in poverty and making something of yourself used to be considered a virtue in this country.
Steve: Is that Capone? [to Danny] Did he just quote Capone?

Reggie Cole: Look, my job was to get Jimmy Cannon. I don't know who shot me. I don't know who set me up. All I know is that Jimmy Cannon ordered the hit! Now look...look I know you guys are trying to do your jobs... but Jimmy Cannon killed my wife. He killed a federal agent. You don't know who you're dealing with. He's going to put walls up in front of you wherever you go.
Steve: We're going to go wherever the case takes us. And let me tell you, you want guys like us on this, because we'll go through those walls.

Allison Marsh: Well, gentlemen, this is an FBI matter now. And the FBI will be taking over the case. Thanks for your effort.
Steve: First of all, you're welcome. Second of all, a little boy's going to grow up without a mother because of a leak in your agency!
Marsh: Listen to me. You cannot go after Jimmy Cannon.
Steve: Watch me!

Allison Marsh: [to McGarrett] I want to talk to your boss.
McGarrett: Lady, I answer to God and to the Governor, neither of whom are going to help you out right now, so take a seat.

Ho'ohuli Na'au [1.22][edit]

[Kono and HPD forensics specialist Charlie Fong talk at the crime lab]
Kono Kalakaua: Did you graduate from Kikui High?
Charlie Fong: Nope. Punahou.
Kono: You're not going to make this easy are you?
Fong: Just the crime-solving stuff.

[McGarrett insists on Chin Ho coming clean about his corruption charges]
Steve McGarrett: Look Chin, listen this is gonna clear your name.
Chin Ho: Yeah, it will, but at what cost? My uncle was a righteous cop, Steve. In his 25 years, he put away hundreds of criminals. Guys that deserved to be off the streets. And if he's found guilty, they'll enact judicial review. All of his past convictions will be called into question. Guilty men will walk straight out of prison.
McGarrett: Let me call the governor.
Chin Ho: No. This is my problem. I'll handle it.

Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau [1.23][edit]

[Jenna Kaye and Steve McGarrett confront Fallon Global official Elliot Connor at his office]
Jenna Kaye: You shifted in your chair and touched your face as you were answering the question. Those are both signs of deception, plus you added unnecessary details about delivering the papers just to make your lies sound more credible.
Steve McGarrett: Does Jeff know that you're using his house to cheat on his sister?
Elliott Connor: What? That's absurd!
Kaye: Wow. Mock outrage - that's a bad one.

[Sang Min suddenly appears at the Five-0 offices]
Sang Min: You don't understand. I'll plead to any charge. Take the maximum sentence. As long as you put me in protective custody.
Danny: Oh yeah? What happened?
Sang Min: Wo Fat. I tried to make things right with him.
Steve: What did he say?
Sang Min: He told me he's not gonna rest until I'm dead. And then when I am, he's gonna come after you next.

McGarrett: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a car attached to you? [Kaye looks down at her wrist]
Kay: Oh. Weird.

Oia'i'o [1.24][edit]

[Chin Ho receives a call on his cellphone - with Sgt Duke Lukela on the other end]
Sgt. Duke Lukela: [sees arrest warrant notice on computer] You sure you don't want your old job back? 'Cause it looks like your current one isn't going to exist much longer. We have a warrant to arrest McGarrett for murder.
Chin Ho Kelly: [Ending the call] We've got a problem. HPD is on the way here right now to arrest you for killing Laura Hills.

[Danny witnesses Chin Ho and the HPD officers bring McGarrett out of the Governor's Mansion]
Danny: We have jurisdiction. We're Five-0. Get him out.
Chin Ho Kelly: You don't understand, Danny. There is no Five-0 anymore.

Season 2[edit]

Haʻiʻole [2.1][edit]

Jenna Kaye: Where are you going? Steve needs our help.
Joe White: He will be fine.
Jenna: How do you know?
White: Because I trained him.

[the former Five-0 gang try to find McGarrett after he bolts jail]
Kono Kalakaua: I can run his ID, trace his cell, run surveillance.
Chin Ho Kelly: How you gonna do that? You don't have access to HPD's database.
Kono: I'll use your password.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Whoawhoawhoa. That's not a good idea.
Chin Ho: You're not carrying a badge anymore, Kono. I can't guarantee HPD backup.
Kono: You guys are my backup.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: [chuckles] Definitely been hanging out with McGarrett too long now.

[at Kamekona's shave ice shop, the Five-0 gang show Lt Gov Sam Denning the hidden camera footage from Jamieson's murder]
Governor Sam Denning: Commander McGarrett, you have my sincerest apologies for everything you've been through.
Steve McGarrett: With all due respect, sir, I don't need your apologies. What I need you to do is re-instate my Five-O Task Force so we can go after this son-of-a-bitch right here.
Denning: ...Well no doubt, that Five-O had an impact on crime. So as Lt. Governor I'll grant your request.
McGarrett: All right! Thank you, sir.
Denning: But there are conditioins.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: What conditions?
Denning: Governor Jameson gave you full immunity to basically run roughshod over every single law on the State's books. That's not gonna happen on my watch. You cross the line you answer to me.
McGarrett: Understood, sir. But just so your clear. Sometimes we get put in positions where lives are on the line, and we have to make split-second decisions. The line you're talking about gets a little hard to see.

Ua Lawe Wale [2.2][edit]

[Chin Ho, Danny and Steve talk about Lori Weston]
Chin Ho Kelly: What? Why wouldn't she last?
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Well, Let's see what she looks like when she gets done with Sgt. Slaughter's Boot Camp.
Steve McGarrett: What's that supposed to mean?
Danny: Let's just try not to get the new girl blown up, kidnapped, or shot on her first day. That's all. Can we do that, Steven?
Steve: I can't guarantee that.

[Chin Ho Kelly is caught by surprise about Internal Affairs investigating Kono]
Chin Ho Kelly: You're about to kill the career of a good cop because you think she did something wrong.
Capt. Vincent Fryer: I know - she did something wrong. The apple doesn't fall far from the family tree.
Chin Ho: This isn't about me.
Fryer: You're right. It isn't. The governor wants to make it very clear that there's a zero-tolerance policy with regards to crime and corruption. He's tasked me with cleaning up this department. Which is exactly what I'm going to do -starting with your cousin.

Kame'e [2.3][edit]

Lori Weston: I just point out the truth; most men can't handle the truth when it comes to love.
Danny Williams: Oh, we can't handle the truth? What are we doing, A Few Good Men?

[Five-0 raid the Chameleon's hideout and sees a bunch of surveillance materials on SEAL Team IX personnel]
Danny 'Danno' Williams: [browsing a folder] Operation: Strawberry Field ring a bell?
Steve McGarrett: What did you say?
Danno: Operation Strawberry Field. It's got a picture of you and your men. [Steve gets folder from him] Photo of you.
Steve: It's classified.
Danno: Oh, I apologize. The Chameleon unclassified it.

[Disgraced HPD cop Frank Delano makes a proposition]
Frank Delano: Listen Kono, I don't want to sit around all day and play footsie. A person with your skill set and experience has a... certain value in my line of work.
Kono Kalakaua: And what kind of work is that?
Delano: It's kind of like police work, except the bad guys we take down, we don't read Miranda, we just take their money.
Kono: So you provide a public service.
Delano: Something like that.

Mea Makamae [2.4][edit]

[Steve catches on to Danny about Dr Gabrielle Asano]
Danny: I don't want a relationship.
Steve: Coffee is not a relationship, it's a beverage.
Danny: Not true, every relationship has started with a cup of coffee. Then it's dinner and a movie, okay? Next thing you know, you're divorced, you're moving to Hawaii so you can see your daughter every other weekend.
Steve: You need to talk to someone professionally.
Danny I do. You. And now the session's over.

[Steve and Joe join the military in departure honors for Capt Robert Murphy at JFB Pearl Harbor-Hickam, but Steve brings up something with Joe]
Steve McGarrett: You never gave that video to the DOD, did you Joe?
Joe White: ...No.
Steve: You know what? I know he was your friend, but he was *my* father. Whatever it is you're trying to protect me from I can handle it. You understand me?
Joe: Did you ever think that maybe you're not the only one I'm trying to protect?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Joe: Risk versus reward, Steve. How much damage are you willing to do to your family - to your family's name - because whatever's on that video, it's not going to bring your father back.
Steve: I need to know.

Ma'ema'e [2.5][edit]

Danny: What are the perks of being a cop? The pay sucks, the hours suck. Sometimes I get...No no not sometimes, all the time, I get shot at all the time.
Steve: What are you talking about? You never get...you hardly every get shot at.
Danny: Is that a joke? Are you making a joke?
Steve: Ok when's the last time you got clipped?
Danny: Your not a funny person. Are you trying to be funny? You're not, ok. Here's my point alright, living practically rent-free in some rich guy's guest house seems to me like a nice perk for keeping the world a safe place.
Steve: You homeless now? Why don't you try decorating? Why don't you get some doilies for the tables, flowers for the table.

Ka Hakaka Maikaʻi [2.6][edit]

[Danno cautions Steve before he faces Chuck Liddell]
Steve: Mouth guard.
Danny: You need a helmet not a mouth guard.

Ka Iwi Kapu [2.7][edit]

[Danny notices Max cosplaying as Neo at the medical examiner's office]
Max: I came directly to work after a costume party.
Danny: Come on, you don't secretly have this thing where you look dressing up like you're in the Matrix.
Max: The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

[Having seen a big rock hit his Camaro's front windshield after stepping right into the Keiamanu Heiau despite warnings from the Five-0 team not to desecrate it, Danny is furious that a bigger rock shattered the rear window]
Danny: How does this even happen?
Chin Ho: Maybe it's the result of completely dismissing an entire culture's spiritual beliefs.

[Danny moves into a dead victim's apartment with the gang's help]
Danny: I wanted to ask you about the pet deposit. You see, my daughter, she wants a dog.
Landlady: I'm sorry. We have a strict no-pet policy.
Danny: What are you talking about? What about the old lady?
Landlady: What old lady?
Danny: The old lady with the big dopey hat and the little dog and she was gardening. She's the one that told me the elevator was bust... which by the way you're gonna fix, right?
Landlady: Sounds like you're describing Mrs Kakoa.
Danny: OK, Mrs Kokoa.
Landlady: But old Mrs Kakoa died five years ago. She fell down the elevator shaft.
McGarrett: OK, we're all set up.
Danny: Emm... yeah, we're gonna leave.
McGarrett: What?
Danny: Pack it up. Pack it all up.

Lapaʻau [2.8][edit]

Ike Maka [2.9][edit]

Kiʻilua [2.10][edit]

[Joe White and the Five-0 crew see Navy LCdr Wade Gutches and SEAL Team IX members join them for the operation to North Korea]
Wade Gutches: You have room for a few more on this.... What are you calling it?
Joe: Humanitarian mission...
Gutches: Righhhhhht.

[The gang sees Buffett's old Huey chopper]
Chin Ho: We're going up in that?
Lori: Is anyone else terrified?
Kono: It can't be that bad. [opens door and sees chickens in the passenger compartment] Ok, now I'm terrified.
Jenna Kaye: It wasn't for nothing.
Danno: Find a woman that you really hate...
Steve, Joe and Seal Team IX: ...and buy her a house!

Pahele [2.11][edit]

[Steve is caught by surprise at Joe White's decision to seek early retirement]
Joe: How about you treat me to a shrimp jambalaya and we'll call it even?
Steve: You are the only man on the planet who would see jambalaya as even for the end of their career.

Governor Sam Denning: Three days ago, the Five-O task force seized $80 million worth of cocaine being smuggled into Honolulu Harbor on a Colombian fishing vessel.
Steve: I see you broke out the formal wear, too, huh?
Danny: Dog and pony show– perfect occasion to wear a tie.
Kono: I always liked the tie.
Denning: Five-O’s courageous actions have made our state a safer place. Five-O acted in cooperation with Customs, DEA and HPD to orchestrate an efficient and coordinated takedown of what appears to be a major player in the global drug trade. We appreciate the help from our law enforcement counterparts and will continue to rely on them as this investigation moves forward. We feel we sent a strong message to the South American cartels. The state of Hawaii will not be used as a way station for illegal narcotic trafficking.

Ms. Christie: Jay, what’s going on?
Jay Katsu: It’s a car accident.
Ms. Christie: It’s all right, everybody. Just stay in your seats.
Katsu: [goes down and calls out to people at crash] You guys okay? Anybody hurt?
Karla: Yeah, you. [shoots him]
Ms. Christie: Jay! Kids, get down! Get down! Just Get Down!

Steve: What do we know?
Danny: Looks like a kidnapping, right? We got 16 kids, three adults from South Shore Children’s Academy; they were on a field trip. Someone comes, takes the whole bus.
Steve: Parents been notified?
Danny: Kono’s on her way to the school right now to meet them and prepare them for a ransom call.
Steve: Who's the vic, Chin?
Chin: Jay Katsu, driver of the bus. Still waiting on Max, but the cause of death appears to be three gunshots to the chest, close range.
Danny: Here’s what I think. All right, guy gets out of the bus to see what’s going on. Comes over here– boom– gets popped by one of the kidnappers.
Steve: [notices something odd on cars] Wait a minute.
Chin: What are you thinking?
Steve: This accident was staged. Look at this. There’s no skid marks. Neither of the airbags have been deployed. There’s minimal damage.
Danny: Now who do these cars belong to?
Chin: Well, HPD ran the plates. Turns out, both vehicles were reported stolen last night.
Lori Weston: I just spoke to the witness who called 911. She came on the accident about 20 minutes ago. Driver was already dead.
Danny: She see the school bus?
Lori: Yeah, she reported seeing one traveling at high speeds, heading south.
Chin: Well, if they reached the H3, they could be anywhere on the island.
Steve: All right, we need the cell numbers of all the people on that bus. Pinging their phones is gonna be our best chance of locating them.

Alaheo Pauʻole [2.12][edit]

[McGarrett has just caught Danno and Lori in a rather compromising position]
Steve McGarrett: And the uh... the handcuffs?
Lori Weston: Oh uh, Danny was showing me the uh...
Lori and Danny 'Danno' Williams: Jersey slip.
Steve: Jersey slip?
Danny: The hood rat cuff slip. All the kids are doing it back east. So thought I'd show her.
Lori: Yeah, and um we [clears her throat] lost the key somewhere. I think it's in the couch.

Joe White: I know you took my passport.
Steve McGarrett: [gives back passport] What are you doing in Japan? [sees Joe sigh, but doesn't answer] You might as well tell me, 'cause I'm not gonna stop asking.
Joe: I was hoping you wouldn't say that.

Ka Hoʻoponopono [2.13][edit]

[Steve and Joe argue over the identity of Shelburne]
Joe White: You're interfering with something you don't understand.
Steve McGarrett: Then why don't you explain it to me, Joe? Tell me what the hell's going on! You gotta wake up. The walls are closing in on you. HPD wants answers. The Yakuza wants blood. Shelburne - is he worth this? Is he worth going to jail for? Is he worth dying for?
Joe: People are already dying, son. I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT STOP!

[Kono and Charlie Fong study Rick Summers and Karen Sargent's sex video]
Charlie Fong: Moral of the story: Resist the urge to have sex in front of an open laptop.
Kono Kalakaua: ...Sometimes you scare me.

Puʻolo [2.14][edit]

[flashback to 1992 and John McGarrett's decision to send him and Mary Ann to the mainland]
John McGarrett: My first responsibility is not my safety, it's yours. You may not like it, but I hope someday you understand it.

[McGarrett and Joe White visit John McGarrett's grave to tell him the truth about Shelburne]
Steve McGarrett: Okay, all right, if it was an investigation into the Yakuza, then why does Wo Fat care so much about Shelburne?
Joe White: Because Shelburne killed his father.
Steve: And by Shelburne, you mean my father.
Joe: No, it was me. I killed him.

Mai Ka Wa Kahiko [2.15][edit]

I Helu Pu [2.16][edit]

Kupale [2.17][edit]

[Max studies the body of a reenactor]
Steve: Time travel doesn't exist.
Max: On the contrary, there are several theories....
Danny: With all due respect. For argument's sake, let's say this man didn't own a Delorean and is from the 21st century.


Kalele [2.19][edit]

[Angela meets a man on the pier - August March]
August March: I'm delighted you reached out to me, Angela.
Angela: [gives March briefcase of money] I didn't have many options, but with your help, this actually worked out better than I hoped. [gives March a pack of diamonds] Your diamonds. It's been a pleasure.
March: Oh believe me, the pleasure's all mine, [reacts to Angela turning around and walking away] but there's one more thing you need to learn about this type of business. [Angela looks back at him as he pulls out a revolver] Never turn your back on the buyer! [shoots her; Angela falls into the water and March walks away with the cash]

Haʻalele [2.20][edit]

Pa Make Loa [2.21][edit]

[Danny and NCIS Special Agent Sam Hanna are in a car chase]
Hanna: Hold steady... [aiming his gun at the suspects' car to shoot]
Danny: Hold steady? You shoot like Ray Charles. Come on.
Hanna: Watch out for the dumpster!
Danny: [deadpan] I see the dumpster. Thanks. [narrowly avoids dumpster]
Hanna: Try to work on your driving position a little. Your wrists are in the wrong place.
Danny: My wrists are in the wrong––[looks at Hanna] what is it with Navy SEALs and back-seat drivers?!
Hanna: Watch out for the car!!
Danny: [exasperated] I see the car!

Ua Hopu [2.22][edit]

Ua Hala [2.23][edit]

Season 3[edit]

La O Na Makuahine [3.1][edit]

Kanalua [3.2][edit]

Lana I Ka Moana [3.3][edit]

Popilikia [3.4][edit]

Mohai [3.5][edit]

I Ka Wa Mamua [3.6][edit]

Ohuna [3.7][edit]

[Morty Sapperstein, Mary McGarrett's ward, talks to her on the Waikiki beach]
Morty Sapperstein: Mary, I need you to do something for me.
Mary: What? I'll do anything.
Morty: I need you to go see your mother.
Mary : I can't.
Morty: You can't or you won't?
Mary: Both. Morty, she disappeared from my life when I was ten years old, Morty. Gone. This whole time I've thought she's dead.
Morty: But she's not. You get a second chance, kid. Other people aren't so lucky. I'd give everything I own to have a second chance.
Mary: What are you talking about?
Morty: Zoe Anne Sapperstein. My only daughter.
Mary: You had a daughter, Morty? I didn't know you had a daughter.
Morty: Yeah. We got into a fight over this boy she was seeing. Her mother and I disapproved. She left college and took off for San Francisco with the guy. We didn't speak for years. One day the phone rang. It was the Highway Patrol. Carpet salesman from Oakland had too much to drink. He fell asleep behind the wheel and hit my daughter's car. Killed her instantly. Not a day goes by I don't wish I'd picked up the phone and called her. I let the privilege of knowing her slip away because I was a stubborn SOB. Don't make the same mistake. Put away your anger. Go see your mother. You only have one family.

Wahineʻinoloa [3.8][edit]

Haʻawe Make Loa [3.9][edit]

Huakaʻi Kula [3.10][edit]

Kahu [3.11][edit]

Kapu [3.12][edit]

Olelo HoʻOpaʻI Make [3.13][edit]

Hana I WaʻIa [3.14][edit]

Hookman [3.15][edit]

[Five-0 has just taken down Curt Stoner, and McGarrett checks his body. He suddenly sees Ben Keoki, Troy Oookala, and his own father smiling at him]
John McGarrett: We just wanted to thank you, Steve.
Steve McGarrett: [shakes John's hand] Dad.
John : You're all I could've hoped for in a son, Steven. I'm proud of you. [three officers salute him]
Danny Williams: Steve, come on!
Steve: Give me a sec! [looks back to officers to see they're gone]

Kekoa [3.16][edit]

Paani [3.17][edit]

Na Kiʻi [3.18][edit]

Hoa Pili [3.19][edit]

Olelo Paʻa [3.20][edit]

Imi Loko Ka ʻUhane [3.21][edit]

Hoʻopio [3.22][edit]

He Welo ʻOihana [3.23][edit]

Aloha, Malama Pono [3.24][edit]

External links[edit]

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