Heavyweights (stylized onscreen as Heavy Weights) is a 1995 Walt Disney Pictures comedy film, directed by Steven Brill. Heavyweights is about a fat camp for kids that is taken over by a fitness pyschopathic fanatic Tony Perkis (Ben Stiller). Eventually the kids decide that they have been put through enough, and these underdog campers band together and rebel against Tony.
Tony Perkis Jr
- Good morning, Campers. Today is evaluation day. The key word here is value. Do you have any? Not yet. But by the time camp is over, you will all be a bunch of skinny winners.
- Attention Campers; Lunch has been canceled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.
- Come on... you devil log!
- Oh look, a deli meat!
- Just Father Sky, Mother Earth, and your dear old Uncle Tony.
- "Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.
- Anybody who brings candy to this camp isn't your friend. He's a destroyer.
- Being an only child, educated entirely by private tutors my whole life, I'm looking forward to interacting with children for the first time.
- I'm doggin' it, Pat. I'm doggin' it!
- There are so many myths about the abdominal muscles. I'm happy to put this one to rest.
- I'm too strong. I'm too motivated. And you're too weak!
- Let me make something very clear: the PerkiSystem does not work with cheaters like Gerald Garner! OK?! How can I sell an infomercial about fat kids who can't keep their piggy little snouts shut?! Hmm? Who's gonna buy that, huh?
- I'm feeling skinny, Tony!
- HEY, DON'T PEE IN THE WAHTER! Don't drink the wahter, he peed in it!
- Please put your fat finger DOWN!
- You've broken my camera!
- [over speakers] "Now, its time to meet your new owner and operator. Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. His life is dedicated to saying things like "YES!" and "You better believe it!" Entrepreneur, a motivator, and a new friend! May I introduce, TONY PERKIS!"
- Gerry: "I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!
- Harvey Bushkin: "Never let anybody sign your checks!
- Maury: I did NOT send you to 'Go-Kart' camp!
- Roy: Don't put twinkies on your pizza.
- Tony: "Kids: at age twelve, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk. Pounds are gonna fly, and fat is..... outta here, mister! And we're gonna do it TOGETHER!"
- Josh: "Oh, my, god."
- (Tony runs down aisle high-fiving unwilling kids)
- Kid: "I wanna go home!"
- Tony: "Step on the scale!"
- Josh: "Alrighty."
- Tony: "Step off the scale."
- Roy: "Lars? What kind of name is that? Where you from?"
- Lars: "... Far away."
- Roy: [gulps heavily]
- Josh: The candy belongs to Seymour Butts.
- Tony: Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? WHO'S SEYMOUR BUTTS?!!
- Josh: Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!
- Tony: You picked the wrong man to mess with.
- Josh: Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!
- Lars: Now let's play a game to help us learn each other's names.
- Josh: (Making fun of Lars accent) Ve already know each odder's names.
- They never met a hot dog they didn't like... until now.
- They don't run the fastest. They don't jump the highest. But they sure are getting the last laugh.
- Aaron Schwartz - Gerald "Gerry" Garner
- Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis, Jr. / Tony Perkis, Sr.
- Tom McGowan - Pat Finley
- Tim Blake Nelson - Roger Johnson
- Jeffery Tamblor - Maury Garner
- Jerry Stiller - Harvey Bushkin
- Anna Meara - Alice Bushkin
- Shaun Weiss - Josh Birnbaum
- Kenan Thompson - Roy
- Leah Lail - Julie
- Paul Feig - Tim
- Tom Hodges - Lars
- Allen Covert as Kenny
- Cody Burger - Cody
- David Goldman - Nicholas
- Judd Apatow - Homer
- Lia Lucis - Herself
- Lauren Michelle Hill - Angelic Girl