Hell's Kitchen/Season 9

Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best. It started airing on May 30, 2005 on FOX. The narrator of the show is Jason Thompson.

Episode One [9.01]

[The eighteen chefs arrived at Orpheum Theatre to dream to become a "stardom"]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Orpheum Theatre. Please put your hands together for the Hell's Kitchen chefs. (Unveils the curtain; gives the chefs to raise their arms up. The chefs then see that there is no audience and Chef Ramsay at the top, clapping his hand loudly and slowly)

Gordon: Seriously, what on earth did you expect? A packed house? Standing ovation? Screaming fans? Really? Right now, none of you are stars. Resumés mean nothing, got it?

Chefs: Yes chef.

Gordon: Got it?

Chefs: (louder voice) Yes chef.

Gordon: Un(bleep) real.

---

Elise: (letting Carrie to cook a fish) I'll cook the fish, I'll cook it.

Narrator: But Elise has other plans.

Carrie: I got it babe. No, I got it.

Elise: Don't push me!

Carrie: Thank you.

Elise: (interview) Clearly Carrie is the weaker cook than I am. So I felt like I want to take charge to impress Chef Ramsay.

Gordon: Why is she (referring Elise) cooking fish?

Carrie: I don't know the way she's doing. She just came here and grabbed me, Chef.

Carrie: (interview) Are you (bleep) kidding me? That bitch is crazy.

Gordon: (to Carrie) What the (bleep) is she doing?

Carrie: I didn't let her cook and she just came here and grabbed it, Chef.

Elise: So I was gonna cooking for you because we're on the team, right?

Carrie: She trying to prove a point.

Gordon: Elise?

Elise: Yes chef?

Gordon: (holds a ticket) I got a six top dying to the appetizers! And you're cooking fish!

Elise: I'll put the spaghetti up.

Gordon: (to Elise) You (bleep) sit on the Chef's Table!

Krupa: (interview; laughs loudly) Ha!

---

[The customers have begun walking out]

Gordon: Blue team, they're walking out! You muppets, get off your fat arses, let me show you something. Not one entrée has left this (bleep) kitchen! Not one!

Steven: Yes, chef.

Gordon: And look at the pans back there! Any bright ideas?

Steven: Want me to jump in? I'll clean them.

Gordon: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE CUSTOMERS! NOT THE (bleep) PANS!

Steven: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Any ideas? Hey, what are you going to do now? They are walking out! (BLEEP) OFF!

Brendan: (interview) That put me in a train wreck on ice.

Gordon: Stop! You're getting misery!

[Chef Ramsay goes to the red kitchen]

Carrie: (to Red team) Let's go guys, let's just don't disappoint the customers.

Gordon: Carrie! They're gone! SHUT IT DOWN!

Episode Two [9.02]

[After failed to serve a single entrée after three attempts; Chef Ramsay has finally had enough with the blue team]

Gordon: Aw, come on. (After discovered a sea bass was raw) Brendan, it's raw.

Paul: (to Brendan) Come on, bro! Really!

Will: (interview) Brendan you suck! You suck!

Gordon: Blue team, blue team!

Blue team: Yes chef?

Gordon: Stop! It's just got worsr. Not one entrée has left together yet. (Chino) not one, you (bleep) me on the risotto! (Tommy) you screwed me on the duck and now I got a raw bass! What are you going to do now?! Any suggestions?

[No one replied from the blue team]

Gordon: I got one big suggestion: You, you, you, you, you, you! (Bleep) out of here! GET UPSTAIRS!

Jonathon: (interview) What the (bleep) man! It is so frustrated, dude. I made us a look like a bunch of little sissy ass bitches, man.

Gordon: (calls to the red team) Ladies?

Red team: Yes chef?

Gordon: Any four of you in here to finish the blue team. Any of you.

Carrie: Yes, chef.

---

[The blue team lost the dinner service second time in a row]

Gordon: Men, I'm disappointed. Will?

Will: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Who should leave Hell's Kitchen tonight?

Will: A hundred per cent, Brendan and Chino.

Gordon: Paul, who should go?

Paul: Brendan and Chino.

Gordon: Jonathon?

Jonathon: I have vote for Brendan and Chino.

Gordon: If you have to pick one?

Jonathon: I choose Chino.

Episode Three [9.03]

Jennifer: How much start now? I'm waiting on the lamb?

Elise: Are you saying there it's on the hips where you on this ticket out?

Carrie: No, I'm not.

Elise: I'll better see you cooking something.

Carrie: (interview) Elise is always yelling at me. I'm not letting her to me, I know I can do good. I'm know I'm good.

Elise: How long through on the window?

Carrie: One more minute.

Elise: Please let's get it up.

Gordon: Garnish, let's go! Here we go! Thirty seconds to the window!

Andi: Yes chef.

Gordon: Where's the bass?

Amanda Colello: It's coming up right now.

Gordon: Service! Where's the lamb?

Carrie: Right here Chef.

Gordon: Let's go! Garnish please. Look at this? (sees a lamb and discovered that is raw) Ah (bleep) me! It's raw! (returns the lamb on the workstation)

Carrie: Is it still raw?

Amanda Colello: Come on, it's walking. No, it's right there.

Jamie Gregorich: GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, GUYS!

Carrie: (touches the raw lamb) Know that, that is okay.

Gordon: STOP! (letting Carrie out of his way) LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU, COME HERE! Look at the (bleep) state of this?

Carrie: I thought it looked good.

Elise: (interview) I always think that Carrie has all of her marbles.

Gordon: (to Carrie) Why are you doing this to me?

Carrie: I saw this I thought it was okay.

Gordon: I saw this! IT'S NOT EVEN HOT! IT'S RAW! RAW!!! (smashes the lamb at the counter) (Bleep)! (brief pause to call Gina) Gina, please? (points his hand to Gina)

Gina: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Take this useless brigade around every (bleep) table and I want a sincere apology on the back of your crap performance, piss off!

[Red team walk out of the kitchen to apologize with the hungry customers]

Gordon: Every one of them.

James: Why have you spend on this table? Did you look all of these children? They're all famished.

Elise: We sincerely apologize about your entrees. (interview) It was humiliating when I apologized to tables when I felt like it wasn't my fault.

Carrie: We're very sorry.

Elise: We apologize.

Carrie: We're sorry, we don't have your entrees right now.

Elise: (interview) Yes, we're team but you can do all so much when you have a broken leg.

Carrie: Ladies, our promise it will not happen again.

Gordon: Ladies, that was the first useful thing you have done tonight. It's also the last. Get out of here! All of you!

Carrie: (Bleep)!

Gordon: And hang your heads in shame because you absolutely suck! Piss off! Embarrassing! And on family night! You certainly don't care about the children!

Carrie: Oh my God.

Young male diner (Boy): Shut it down!

[Red team returned to dorms after their dismal performance]

Amanda Colello: Chef is going to call me out, I'm telling you.

Elise: (to Amanda Colello) He's going to call you out, but it's there too late to go to going up. (interview) This could be the great opportunity for the Red team we can rid of Carrie to turn a something negative to a positive.

[Carrie goes to Elise to fight her]

Carrie: First time all the food was mess.

Elise: (interrupting Carrie) Don't talk to me right now!

Carrie: No, Elise.

Elise: I don't wanna hear to talk about the say. Get out of my face!

Carrie: Just wait, you can talk to me later.

Elise: She can talked about the chopping block that should be (bleep) talk. Don't say it in a word.

Carrie: No, I'm not gonna have you--.

Elise: Nobody said here--. Let me ask you to a serious question right now - "Do you take medication?", because I think they you are in another world you are nothing but a distraction on me? You didn't call anything? You (bleep)ed up in the whole kitchen but I knew this it wasn't happen?

Carrie: I did not. You stop it!

Elise: Yes, you did?

Carrie: (gets angry) YOU DID WHAT THE (BLEEP) I DID! YEAH YOU STOP IT! YOU DID NOT! YOU KNOW I'VE DONE THIS. STOP IT!

---

Carrie: (interview) I do deserve to be here, I'm not ready to leave Hell's Kitchen. I'm ready to fight.

---

[Red team declared losers after dinner service, Chef Ramsay became the only nominator for the episode]

Gordon: Jennifer, step forward please!

Jennifer: (Bleep)!

Gordon: My next choice is... Carrie, step forward! (thinks on a third nominator) You know what, Amanda, join them.

Gordon: Carrie, tell me why do you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen?

Carrie: I love cooking, but is in my passion and it is in my heart. I'm not ready to go yet, Chef. I am going to prove you I am good enough.

Gordon: Why is your team is so desperate to see you out of here?

Carrie: I don't know have Elise against me. She have nothing to do with me since day one I'm not quite sure that where she does.

Amanda Colello: It's not just Elise, it's Carrie.

Gordon: Amanda, why do you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen?

Amanda Colello: Well Chef unlike Carrie, I'm not in denial that I have (bleep) with a crap performance tonight. Not denial at all, I want this Chef, I'm gonna (bleep) around and lie to you and say like "OH YOU DON'T SAVE ME AND IT FEEL BAD FOR ME, I'M GOOD I CAN (bleep) WORK WITH MY ASS OFF." for you Chef seen me and do better.

Gordon: Cause you fight back?

Amanda Colello: Yes, Chef.

Gordon: You feel the towering wind.

Amanda Colello: No, Chef.

---

Amanda Colello: (after being eliminated) I'm so completely and utterly embarrassed and disappointed with myself. My dream coming in to Hell's Kitchen was to worth to have one of my idols to help me if you're not to worth it, that (bleep) sucks.

---

Gordon: Amanda lost the will to cook on the line tonight. I lost the will to keep her here.

Episode Four [9.04]

Gordon: Cod, bass!

Monterray: Oh! (Bleep bleep) sea bass falling apart.

Gordon: Sea bass is what?

Monterray: Sea bass fell apart.

Gordon: Oh, boy. Scott.

Scott Leibfried: (Gives Monterray on a lesson) When you take the fish out on a pan, you leave it on a spatula.

Monterray: It's fell apart, it's fell apart. Nothing like I can do, it's fell apart.

Scott Leibfried: You leave it on a (bleep) spatula! Is that what you did? No you did. So it's the fish's fault?

Monterray: No, it's not, it's fell apart. There's nothing I can do and it's fell apart.

Scott Leibfried: There is something you can do, because you should be (bleep) responsible enough to care! You can get like a (bleep) face by tell me there's nothing you can do.

[Screenshot of Janet Evans and Mark Spitz (two Olympic gold medalists on swimming) on Chef's Table]

Monterray: (interview) Understand, you can tell me and I am listening to between you can't (bleep) keep on a constant me, I don't know who (bleep) you are! Chef Ramsay, Chef Scott, Chef Andi, we don't keep talking like that.

Scott Leibfried: So don't see there you (bleep) and there's nothing like you can do!

Monterray: Now, put the (bleep) it on!

Scott Leibfried: Get over (bleep) it! SHUT UP!

Narrator: And Monterray goes toe-to-toe with Sous Chef Scott.

Scott Leibfried: All you should have to do to bring it up and you blew prank!

Monterray: I understand.

Scott Leibfried: DO YOU?! Then (bleep) you! Then do it?!

Monterray: It is done then.

Scott Leibfried: (Bleep) you!

Monterray: Well (bleep) you too then!

---

[After a disastrous service, both teams lost; the blue team nominated Chino and Monterray while the red team nominated Carrie and Elise]

Gordon: Elizabeth, if you have to drop Elise or Carrie, who would you drop?

Elizabeth: Carrie, chef.

Gordon: Jamie?

Jamie Gregorich: Elise, chef.

Gordon: Krupa, who would you drop?

Krupa: Elise as well.

Gordon: Jennifer, who would you drop?

Jennifer: Elise.

Gordon: Gina?

Gina: Elise, chef.

Gordon: Natalie (transferred to blue team since previous episode), you were in the red team. Who would you send home? Elise or Carrie?

Natalie: Elise, chef.

Gordon: No hesitation there. Elise I didn't ask you and I take a vote.

---

Gordon: Here's the sad news for you, your team wants you out of there so badly you may be better off.

Elise: (begins the testimony) I can guarantee one thing I never make same mistake twice. This is my first time on a carpet, (Carrie) this is her second, (Monterray) his second and (Chino) his third. It is not my time to go yet chef. I'm not here to throw anybody on a bus I'm keeping 100 per cent with you chef. I can work on my attitude, but you can give somebody common sense and talent. I'm not here to throw anybody on a bus, I'm keeping 100 per cent with you chef.

Episode Six [9.06]

[Before the start of the dinner service, Chef Ramsay presents a cake for the high school reunion special event]

Gordon: Where's the cake? Please? (to Scott) Scott, we are all order the special cake, right?

Scott Leibfried: Yes.

Gordon: Very good. Excellent. What on earth? (sees a cake when Chef Ramsay shocked on the Red team's punishment task) Holy crap? Someone vomit on it? What's on this bits of brown? What a mess?

Carrie: We thought it looked like sand.

Jennifer: (laughs) Yeah chef.

Gordon: Look at it! It looked like a big mess of a sombrero gone wrong someone (bleep) on it. (to Blue team) Blue team, have you sick to this disaster?

Paul: (raises his right arm) Olé!

Gordon: Yeah. We have tell you something, we are definitely not serving that thing. Would you mind, Scott? Would you mind putting it over there? Thank you.

---

Gordon: Jonathon! Monterray! Committee table, we've got to put it together!

Monterray: Two minutes.

Jonathon: Two minutes chef.

Monterray: Not bad.

Jonathon: Don't yell. You did do what you got.

Monterray: No, no, no, no.

Jonathon: Just what you got to do.

Monterray: (interview) Chef Ramsay told us on the fish station to sudden what I can. If Jonathon send back. Watching dude what the hell are you doing? Start (bleep) cooking for your team please. What is wrong with you?

Gordon: What the (bleep) is Jonathon doing?

Jonathon: I'm trying to help chef. Trying to help.

Monterray: (interview) Jonathon is sick on the corner like a street dog hell between this lady.

Jonathon: Anybody need anything just call to me, okay?

Monterray: (interview) So I get up done by myself, I have to step up and more capable than his job.

Gordon: Where is the snapper?

Monterray: Right here, chef.

Gordon: Uh... All of you, come here!

Monterray: What the (bleep) happened?

[The snapper has to be serve and got failed; Chef Ramsay has had enough with the blue team]

Gordon: Just touch that! (grabs snapper to his finger) Put your hand on top over there. Touch it! Touch it! (Tommy touches his hand) Don't you dare walk off! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'M SO PISSED OFF! (Paul) He screws me! (Monterray) He walked away! Where's your respect? (knocks his hand on the workstation) GET OUT!

Natalie: Ugh.

Jonathon: Can we stay over chef? We gotta do something?

Gordon: Piss off!

Episode Seven [9.07]

Jonathon: How long on the bass?

Natalie: Three and a half minutes. (interview) I've never cooked sea bass here before, but it just like in a piece of fish and you know you've messed up once and I don't know to pay to do it again.

Natalie: (to Jonathon) How long do you need?

Jonathon: Go ahead. I'm fixing two wellingtons.

Natalie: (brings the sea bass to the pass) Behind.

Jonathon: This wellington's over done. (Bleep)! Here it is, baby. (interview) I'm over on the point path. Tommy prepped my wellington and slice dig bowls of (bleep). What am I suppose to do?

Jonathon: This is gonna be (bleep) right there. Trying to get my ass now and two piece on done. (brings the wellington to pass) This.

Gordon: Oh (bleep) me. (returns the sea bass and wellington to the workstation) All of you, come here!

Jonathon: (interview) Chef Ramsay stop to (bleep) kill my ass.

Gordon: What am I doing to do what the (bleep) that is? (grabs a wellington on his finger)

Jonathon: That's a lid and that's my fault, Chef. It won't happen again. It's (bleep) definitely overcooked because on the sides. I realize it won't happen again, I promise.

Gordon: Just let that... (throws a fork on a workstation) (brief pause) (Natalie) And you? It's raw in the center! RAW! YOU'RE A TALENTED COOK? (Natalie goes silent to give her response)

Jonathon: Chef, I got some more wellingtons.

Gordon: (calling Jonathon and Natalie out of the kitchen) You and you, (bleep) off! GET OUT!

Jonathon: I'm out man, I'm so sick of this (bleep) man.

Gordon: Hey, hold on! Take that (bleep) to you.

Jonathon: I'm done. I'm quit.

Gordon: JONATHON, COME HERE YOU!

Jonathon: Kiss my ass.

Gordon: JONATHON, I'M RESPECTING TO YOU BEFORE ON IT TO ME! ANYTHING TO SAY?

Natalie: It won't happen again.

Gordon: Don't (bleep) there to your apps! (Bleep) off!

Natalie: Yes chef. Won't happen again.

Gordon: (Bleep) off!

Episode Nine [9.09]

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

Gordon: How long is two bass, one chicken, one cod?

Paul: One minute, chef.

Narrator: Paul is ready with the blue team's first entrées.

Gordon: What's he done? It's raw! (brief pause) Paul!

Paul: Is it raw chef?

Gordon: Stop! All of you, come here! More disaster, isn't it raw. (Paul) You tell me, just touch that! TOUCH THAT! (Natalie grabs her finger to touch chicken) ROMANTIC DINNER! (throws his fork away on a workstation)

Will: (interview) Pisses me off cause Paul knows better that. I mean you just can't serve raw chicken.

Gordon: (to Paul) Hey chef! Let me ask you, is that raw?

Paul: Chef, its under. I got another one. Giving some--

Gordon: Hey! Come here you! Answer my (bleep) question?

Paul: Yes, chef. It's raw.

Gordon: GET OUT!

[Paul loses his temper to throw a towel on a floor]

Gordon: Pink carnations maybe, pink chicken! No chance!

Paul: (knocks on a wall having throw tantrums) (interview) I (bleep) up on a chicken! I mean I'm (bleep) furious at myself. (kicks his door to the dorms) Chef Ramsay let me back in! Let me finish what I started.

Gordon: Tommy, give that to Paul for his (bleep) romantic dinner. Upstairs, hurry up!

Tommy: PUT THE SCALLOPS ON!

Gordon: Shut up!

---

Elise: Vegetarian cap(ellini)?

Narrator: Elise is ready with the vegetarian capellini.

Gordon: Oh (bleep bleep)! That's not vegetarian. Elise! It's the (bleep) table! Shut your (bleep)ing mouth! One capellini no lobster.

Elise: I'm sorry.

Gordon: Yeah. (Bleep) off! I'm sorry you're here. You are like her. (Jamie) Just can't be positive anymore!

Elise: No, chef.

Jennifer: (interview) Elise is one of those people thinks that she makes the strongest but last night.

Gordon: Entrées! (knocks his arm to the workstation; reads the ticket) One (bleep) vegetarian capellini, no lobster, just plain tomato sauce! Call out, chef.

Elise: (begins to read the ticket) Entrées! One vegetarian lobster capellini.

Gordon: One more time!

Elise: Vegetarian lobster capellini!

Gordon: One more time! One more time!

Elise: One lobster capellini vegetarian!

Gordon: Is it in?

Elise: Yes chef.

Gordon: WAKE UP!!!

Elise: Yes chef. (interview) I know Chef Ramsay is pissed off at me because I know respect so much more to me. I expect toward myself and I'm pissed off at myself.

Gordon: (quietly, to Elise) A BLACK JACKET? YOU NEED A STRAIGHT JACKET!

---

Elise: Vegetarian cap(ellini) (brings to the pass).

Narrator: Elise is ready to impress with her next oyster dish.

Gordon: Let's go! Aw, come on! (Brief pause) In fact, you tell me chef, Are they overcooked?

Elise: (after touching oyster dish) Yes they are chef.

Gordon: Come here you! GET OUT! Hey! Do you know what you don't care?

Elise: I do care!

Gordon: Look! Come here, look! Look! Look at what are... Look at... What are you going to say? You're telling that fresh delicious?

Elise: No chef.

Gordon: Yeah, take that, take that! (Bleep) off outta here! Eat them! Enjoy your dinner! Nice romantic pair of oysters for a little superstar.

Elise: (interview) Waagghh...

Gordon: (to Elise) Bon appetit, princess!

Elise: (interview) I'm pissed, I'm embarrassed. The only way is my chance to redeem myself cause I know I can (bleep) do it.

Episode Thirteen [9.13]

Elise: Hope you all brought sunglasses, 'cause we're gonna shine.

Tenille: No, I just brought body bags.

Episode Fifteen/Sixteen [9.15] (Two Hour Finale)

Gordon: (To Elise during the celebration) Get out there and continue, all right? Take this and continue with it and really go with it. And seriously, just stop being such a bitch!