Hiccups is a Canadian sitcom produced by Brent Butt. It began in March 2010 on CTV.
Episode 1: "Millie, Meet Stan"
Lewis Farwick: I know I don't want the one with the syrupy stuff. It's too sweet... and sticky... and syrupy....
Millie: You don't have the right to make us stand around here for 20 minutes while you SUCK THE LIFE out of us with your STUPID coffee quiz! "Is there a fudge-flavoured coffee? How about a cheese-flavoured coffee? I like bananas, can I have a banana that's been dipped in coffee and rolled in peanuts?"
Stan: So.. you're upset that you get angry and confused about crying when you get happy sometimes?
Millie: It's like you're right inside my head.
Joyce: Didn't I tell you not to call me Ms. Haddison?
Crystal: You told me to call you Joyce.
Joyce: That's right; you don't just work for me, you work with me. I call you Cindy, you call me Joyce.
Crystal: My name's Crystal.
Joyce: The point is I'm Joyce.
Joyce: Did it just get sleazy in here? Oh, look, it's Taylor.
Taylor: You wanted to see me?
Joyce: "Want" is not the word.
Millie: Sorry about the pens. Cup didn't break, though. What is that, Melmac?
Millie: Is she new?
Joyce: Oh, my banker's daughter. On an unrelated note, my mortgage for this building's been approved.
Millie: Hey, young fella. You like books?
Kid: Books are stupid, and YOU'RE stupid.
Millie: Oh, well, you can bite me.
Stan: Well, I was starting to worry. Six months and no clients, that's a lot of nothing. I mean, that's a lot of months, but that's about it.
Stan: I invented a new word today: "over-reactionist".
Anna: That's a big one.
Millie: I'm sorry, Joyce, and it will never happen again. Most kids aren't like that pushy little pig-faced kid and his stupid mom who can't fight without pulling hair. Real mature!
Millie: I started going to a new guy. Way better than Creep-Eyes and Butter-Stench!
Stan: That was my answering... my voice mail... my digital, electronic voice mail service.
Millie: Holy... check out the beehive on Beulah. Say hi to the Charelles for me!
Stan: See, society trains us to spend all kinds of money on fancy Egyptian coffee from Spain, and fancy psychiatrists from college, but in my opinion....
Millie: Ugh! This stupid hunk of crap! Who makes a spout that flops open like some kind of dead fish mouth?
Stan: What are you doing? This is a new shirt! Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
Millie: You know, by getting me out of that cab you probably saved me a lot of embarrassment and hassle and a fistfight with some part-time security hump.
Stan: Yeah, but let's roll it back to the milk: you spilt some milk on your pants and your first instinct is to attack a dairy?
Millie: Oh, here we go. Here's where you give me the old "You're as crazy as a pound of wet mice" speech. The old, "Put down the scissors and step away from the..."
Stan: No, no... I don't want you to step away from anything! Listen, I'm a life coach, Millie. I'd like to think that stands for something.
Millie: You're like Telly Savalas!
Millie: Did I leave my chequebook at the petting zoo?
Stan: A grown man can't run seven blocks in a row!
Taylor: Good luck, Frenchie; she's a handful. I should know; I'm her agent.
Stan: But you're rich!
Millie: Only in the sense that I have a lot of money.
Anna: Mmm... this pie tastes like donuts. Which would be brilliant, if someone thought of that.
Millie: Mind you, if you're out doggin' around like some kinda pig....