Keeping Up Appearances
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(Redirected from Hyacinth Bucket)
Template:T.V.-stub Keeping Up Appearances, British sitcom. Template:T.V.-cleanup
- Hyacinth: Your car needs a respray? Oh, but I thought your friends liked that lilac colour.
- Elizabeth: My watch says 3:25!
- Hyacinth: Oh, that watch. Yes, I expect it would ...
- Rose: I've come to help out with the church cleaning for that dishy vicar!
- Hyacinth: What a silly little voice!
- Hyacinth: Lovely day, isn't it? Completely conducive to contemplating cosy charismatic country cottages.
- Hyacinth: The Bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking. (Pause) Oh, it's you Daisy.
- Hyacinth: It's my sister, Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony.
- Hyacinth: Could I speak to the vicar please? He's not available? Oh, ringing the bells! Rings his own bells? How democratic.
- Hyacinth: My neighbour, Elizabeth, you met her at one one of my candle light suppers, she drops things.
- Hyacinth: I thought I heard a Willow Warbler! Did you hear a willow warbler? It's one of my absolutely all-time favourite songsters.
- Hyacinth: Oh, Richard!
- Hyacinth: But is it a large tear in his flamenco frock?
- Hyacinth: I once caught Richard playing with a Frisbee. He said it's one he found, but I've never been sure.
- Hyacinth: They are my family and I love them dearly, especially at this time of year, when it gets dark early.
- Hyacinth: Now listen, horse, I'm not a person to be trifled with.
- Hyacinth: I do apologise, Vicar, I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial, it's bound to be someone important.
- Hyacinth: Oh no dear! I couldn't let you loose as a Roman again!
- Hyacinth: Home, Richard! I will not share my throne with those impostors!
- Onslow: (after Hyacinth is startled into the hedge by his barking dog) Less noise, you daft bitch! That goes for you as well, dog!
- Onslow: (After learning that he is out of beer) I'm sitting here, completely surrounded by no beer!
- Vicar's wife: (after spotting Rose standing beside the road) Damn, it's the vampire sister! Turn around!
- Hyacinth: (while talking to the vicar) "How fares the church worldwide then, vicar? For instance, what is the missionary position in China these days?
- Hyacinth: Richard, I will NOT have you not thinking in front of the neighbours!
- Onslow: Oh, nice!
- Hyacinth: "This is not the Chinese takeaway. This is a private, slimline, white telephone with no connection whatsoever to any business or trade. Especially not one of foreign extraction!"
- Hyacinth: [on the phone] "No, I cannot send over another portion of stir-fried squid. This is not the Chinese takeaway. Now kindly clear this line! There are people of substance in this community who are probably queueing to ring me at this very moment."
- Mrs Lennox: Oh damn! It's the Bucket woman!
- Emmet: She'll sing at me!
- Hyacinth: It's a terrible thing to lose one's Daddy right before a cheese and wine.
- Hyacinth: Look, Rose. If you need somewhere private, bring him here. Then I can keep an eye on you, and Richard can show him his skis!
Contents |
[edit] Series 1 (1990)
[edit] Series 2 (1991)
[edit] A Strange Man
- Milkman: Good morning, Mrs. Bucket.
- Hyacinth: It's Bouquet.
- Hyacinth: It's a matter of complete indifference to me whether it's sterilised, pasteurised, immunised or privatised.
[edit] Driving Mrs Fortescue
- Hyacinth: I hope you're not going to spoil things with lower-middle class humour.
[edit] Christmas Special: The Father Christmas Suit (1991)
- Hyacinth: The one thing that distinguishes us from other people is the absence of vulgar noises.
[edit] Series 3 (1992)
[edit] Iron Age Remains
- Hyacinth: It could be a Neanderthal barrow, dear. It says in the guidebook they had barrows. I expect they wheeled rocks about and things!
- Hyacinth: If my Sheridan were here, he'd be appalled.
[edit] Violet's Country Cottage
- Emmett: What's wrong with you, Liz? Why are you so subdued? Two whole days Hyacinth-free!
- Elizabeth: Not quite.
- Emmet: There's something you haven't told me.
- Elizabeth: Yes.
- Emmet: Well, go on. Tell me.
- Elizabeth: Hyacinth wants us to visit them this evening...at the cottage...for a barbecue.
- Emmet: You didn't say yes!
- Elizabeth: I didn't say anything! When does one ever say anything? We're just expected! Oh, don't cry, Emmett! I hate it when you cry! Oh!
[edit] Series 4 (1993)
[edit] A Job for Richard
- Hyacinth: Richard! I've been offered a job at Frosticles!
- Richard: Take it, Hyacinth! Please!
- Hyacinth: I couldn't do that, dear. You'd be so bored at home without me.
[edit] A Celebrity for the Barbecue
- Rose: Onslow, Father's on the roof again!
- Onslow: Ask him if he's got my bottle opener!
[edit] Christmas Special: Sea Fever (1993)
- Onslow: You look up at the sky and you think 'That's nice.' Little do you realise it's full of black holes! They can suck you in. Compress all your matter.
- Daisy: (looking at his stomach) It could do with a bit.
- Onslow: Oh, nice!
- Daisy: Look, if it's going to upset you, you have to stop watching Open University.
- Richard: I'll be up there, looking for icebergs and growing a beard.
[edit] Christmas Special: Angel Gabriel Blue (1994)
- Hyacinth: I had to have the Vicar's confirmation that this is Angel Gabriel blue.
[edit] Series 5 (1995)
[edit] Riparian Entertainments
- Hyacinth: It's my sister, Violet. She's the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.
[edit] A Barbecue at Violet's
Hyacinth is harassing a man in a phone box. Richard decides enough is enough
- Richard: Hyacinth, stop that at once and GET INTO THE CAR!
- Man in phone box: Well done, sir! In wartime, you'd have got a medal for courage like that.
