Icewind Dale II

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Icewind Dale II is a role-playing video game developed by Black isle Studios and published by Interplay Entertainment, released on August 27, 2002.



Hedron Kerdos: Well here ye are, straight from Brenem to the scenic shore of Targos herself. Now that ye be seein' this skeleton of a town ye'll be defendin', ye sure ye don't want me to take ye back?
Player: (Option 1) No thanks, Hedron. We're here to stay. Thanks for bringing us this far

Caulder: I'll just need to borrow the hammer for a moment... oh, and you might want to take a few steps back.
Player:Step back? Why?
Player: (dialogue option one) Whoa. Someone's obviously married.

Olap Tamewater: You see this bit of wall here? Well I can't patch it with air.
Player: Really? I'm beginning to see why they made you the engineer.

Isair:: Ah yes *Nym*.... It seems he'll help anyone as long as it profits him. In any case here we are.
Player: (Dialogue option one) What do you mean?
Isair:: Hush-hush, bold one. There's much for me to do. No time to bandy words.
Isair::You seem to be under the impression that you're saving the ten towns- but you see those cruel minded ill-mannered louts are in no need of saving.....
Isair:: The new order my sister and I will bestow upon the North will benefit *all*. No more will the outcasts of your so called civilisation of hypocritical mundanes be forced to huddle in the shadows, feed on scraps or be banished to lands barron and unwanted.

Black Geoffrey:: Pah! You wouldn't *dare*. If our contract is canceled, then we'll leave this shantytown and take our swords with us. No coins, no service.
Player:: (Dialogue option one) I believe I heard your mother say much the same thing.

Madae: Do I slay them here Brother? Or return them to The Hand to serve as breeders?
Isair: Neither my eager Madea...neither. They will serve us as messengers and carry OUR WORD, OUR LAW, to any others that might oppose us.
Isair: Take heed now cease your ridiculous struggling at once or the consequences will be dire indeed! Consider that Targos is not the only one with allies in Luskan....
Isair: And now before you even *begin* to consider the gravity of my threats allow me to leave you and your newly-found wide-eyed villager friends with a *parting gift*. I'm certain it will leave you with quite a lovely tale to share with your masters in Targos...
Madae: Be thankful that my brother's spared you for now. Should we meet again It'll be the death of you. I promise that.
Player: So be it!

Isair: Ha ha! When first we met I expressed satisfaction from the looks on your faces. Now that the tables have been turned I am positively incarnadine.
Madea: Brother you always look like that. It's why we're here, remember?
Isair:Hmm... true. As for these adventurers I still haven't figured it out. Why have you come all this way? Gold? Some self appointed noble quest?
Player: (option 3) We have come to stop you and your army from destroying the ten towns!
Isair: Destroy? No we don't wish to *destroy* the ten towns. We just want to *educate* them in the manners and methods of their diplomats.

Isair: I think Madea just wants to hurt you. Me? I just want to kill you. For her it's religious, for me it's simply.... entertainment. That sounds about right, doesn't it, sister?
Madea: It sounds perfect to me, Brother. Farewell mercenaries.


  • (In the Duergar Dungeon) A bucket of thick orcish gruel known as 'karap'. You do NOT want to eat this.
  • (In the Duergar Dungeon) An iron maiden. It looks almost cozy in a "bloody spikes driven into your face, chest and bowels" kind of way.
  • (In the Duergar Dungeon - a corpse stretched out on a rack) This person must have perished in terrible agony - they weren't even allowed to die with their boots on.

How To Be An Adventurer

This ludicrously huge and heavy book - more a compilation of volumes in a single binding than anything else - claims to be an extensive manual on the "fine art of adventuring". Its many chapters include:

  • Henchmen: Loyal Companions or Seedy Pack-Mules?
  • Making Your Kit Work for You
  • 101 Uses for a 10' Pole
  • Catapults: Yes, That's as Far as it Shoots
  • Getting the Most Out of Your Party's Thief
  • Today's Tinderbox - It's Not Just For Lighting Torches Anymore
  • Dungeons to Tackle:
    • Stinky Pieter's Halls o' Poorly Guarded Gold
    • The Caves of Soundly Sleeping Monsters
    • Archmage "Loose-Bowels" Wozley the Milksop's Enchanted Item Warehouse
    • The Wooden Citadel of Darmos the Old and Crippled
    • Uncle Fralin's Tool Shed
    • ... and more!
  • Dungeons To Avoid Like the Crotch-Rot:
    • The Iron Fortress of Blodaz, Devourer of Souls
    • Dominara the Erinyes' Nine-Layered Brothel of Violent Emasculation (No Slaking... or Slating... Allowed)
    • The Crimson Hell-Pit of One Billion Miserable Deaths
    • Uncle Fralin's Bedroom
    • ... and more!
  • Your Lantern and You
  • Twelve Uses for Twelve Iron Spikes
  • 99 Uses for That Little Hammer That Comes With Twelve Iron Spikes
  • Face It, You're Actually 'Neutral Evil'
  • The King's Lovely Daughter: Look But Don't Touch
  • Don't Put Your Hand in That Dark Hole

... and over eighty more information-packed chapters covering all aspects of adventuring, from hoarding to spell-casting and bold heroics to arse-saving cowardice.