Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story

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Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story is a 2001 American television miniseries directed by Brian Henson as a co-production of CBS and Jim Henson Television. It presents an alternate version of the classic English fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk.

Dialogue[edit]

Jack Robinson: I'm sorry Veedus. Seeds, all I see are seeds.

Ondine: How can you not know the source of your family's wealth?
Jack Robinson: Everything I have is built on the blood and sweat of my ancestors.
Ondine: That is a lie told by your lying, thieving ancestor.
Jack Robinson: As far as I know, I'm telling you the truth. Now if you know something that I don't, I wish you'd just tell me.

Coroner: Now the first six vertebra were pulverized. There, see it. Massive compound fractures to the posterior cranium. Death was probably caused by deep trauma impact severing the neck and crushing the spinal cord, there.
Jack Robinson: You sure it's not some kind of dinosaur? Maybe you just haven't found the tail yet.
Coroner: Mr. Robinson, everyone here is highly qualified. What we have found here defies everything we thought we knew about the evolution of humankind for the last hundred thousand years.
Jack Robinson: Don't tell me you think this thing is human, a real giant.
Coroner: I know it sounds unbelievable, but yes.
Jack Robinson: Siggy, we have a giant skeleton in our closet.
Coroner: Now death occurred between three to four hundred years ago. It was separated at the torso and each joint by a sharp object. This creature was murdered.

Jack Robinson: You are asking me to believe in a fairytale.
Willomina: Listen to me. Jack Robinson was a thief. He took what did not belong to him, and he was a murderer. Our family is cursed. All the wealth, all the power, everything we have springs from the greed of your ancestor.
Jack Robinson: I want to believe everything you just told me.
Willomina: I'm afraid it may be far worse. First it is Jack, his story I told you. Was he telling the whole truth? Hmmmm. I'm afraid not. There must be more.

Willomina: You must find the truth, or the truth will kill you.

Ragnok: It's the thief's blood they want. Not ours.

Ragnok: Our land is dying. Our people are reduced to killing each other. Thanks to you.
Jack Robinson: Are you accusing me of all this?!? What did I do? What is my crime meant to be?

Maggog: This being the 391st day of our suffering, this great court convenes in judgement of the human, known as Jack Robinson.
Odin: Jack Robinson, as the last of your bloodline, you are formally charged with the wrongful death of Thunderdell. You also stand accused of the theft of our treasures; The goose of prosperity and the harp of harmony.
Thessby: The goose and the harp were created hundreds of years ago. They are vessels containing the guiding energies of our world. Without these forces our land is hopeless. No crops will grow. We will never see Spring again.

Maggog: Surely in your world, if you benefit from the wrongdoings of your fathers, then you inherit the obligation to right the wrong. If you do not, then who shall?

Thessby: Aidine, after you lost your parents, Thunderdell took you in as his own daughter. Can you please tell us, in your own words, how this came to pass?
Ondine: (switching to narration) He was like a father to me. In all the world there was no more generous, no more kinder soul than Thunderdell. I grew up playing with Thunderdell's son, Bran, my best friend. Our lives were simple and good, til the day I met Jack Robinson. He said he was on a quest for his mother, to make her proud of him. He told the horrors of his world. He asked if the castle was mine. Thunderdell took an immediately liking to Jack. He opened his heart, his home, his family to him. I punish myself everyday for what I did next. I let him come with me to where Thunderdell kept the treasures. But he could not keep his promise, even for one night, blinded by his selfish desire. Even as I left him there, I think I knew. I could not bring myself to believe all he said had been a lie. Telling Thunderdell that Jack betrayed us was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He betrayed Thunderdell. He betrayed me. He betrayed our world.

Maggog: Then let the Council speak!
Gargan: For the starvation of our people, guilty!
Thor: For the death of a gentle and kind-hearted friend, guilty!
Sernas: For our proud beasts that will never walk this land,...
Mahakarnis: For destroying the balance between prosperity and harmony,...
Nimnah: For our children who will never see another Spring, ...
Odin: For theft and murder, guilty!
Nimnah: Guilty!
Mahakarnis: Guilty!
Sernas: Guilty!
Thessby: By the laws of our land, guilty.

Aidine: You are meant to have a last meal.
Jack Robinson: I don't want a last anything. Besides it's wasted on me. You should take it and feed your families.
Ondine: I don't know what to say to you Jack. I am... responsible... for your being here. (prison)
Ondine: (Jack turns his back to pick the bean flowers that grew up from Veedus' beans behind him.) Oh Jack, I didn't know it will be this way.
Ondine: (Jack hands her the flowers) Jack, they're real.
Jack Robinson: Now you see, You can smile.

Ondine: Why is it I feel utterly miserable?
Brane: Maybe it is because he is getting exactly what he deserves. Or, maybe you've fallen in love with him.
Ondine: No. Look what happened the last time I fell in love with a Jack.
Brane: Its alright, Aidine. Did you ever think that you might have fallen in love with the wrong Jack?

Jack Robinson: You're shaking, Ragnok.
Ragnok: In our land, no one has ever been sentenced to death before.
Jack Robinson: Great.

Ondine: Jack, would you ever betray me?
Jack Robinson: No, never.

Jack Robinson: (horrified by Willomina admitting to killing Thunnderdell) No. It can't be. Willy?
Ondine: You... killed Thunderdell?
Willomina: Yes. Yes I did. And I encouraged my son to commit those crimes, thinking only of my wealth and position. Now you are going to die, Jack. I can't bear it!
Jack Robinson: Then help us. Help us find the goose and the harp, and the curse will be lifted.
Willomina: This is true? (Jack nods) Then you must find them.
Ondine: And we have so little time.
Willomina: Ursan, bring up the Rolls Royce!
Ursan: Immediately.
Willomina: I have a plan.

Jack Robinson: I guess no one stood as much to gain as you did, Mr. Chairman.
Siggy: You know. I had thought the hardest part would have been to have your will rewritten, leaving your entire estate to me. But in the end no one even questioned it, because everyone knew you loved me like a father.

Jack Robinson: All those years of meaningful advice, you just didn't want me to have a heir.
Ondine: They are coming, Jack.

Jack Robinson: The Robinson curse, it has the same agenda as you. Only what you don't know is that when I die, all you'll get out of that goose will be scrambled eggs.
Siggy: Even if that is true, I have 20 billion in eggs downstairs. Not as much as I'd like but workable.
Jack Robinson: You're insane.
Siggy: No. I'm just greedy, very greedy. You see greed makes great businessmen, great leaders, great civilizations, great me. I am the greatest giant of them all.

Siggy: Giants? Get away. Don't hurt me. Leave me alone.
(Thor and Odin see the skeleton of Thunderdell behind Siggy. Suddenly two pistol reports are heard and the bullets bounce harmlessly off Thor's body.)
Siggy: Oh, did I do that? I didn't mean to do that.
(Siggy fires 2 more shots and they too bounce right off)
Siggy: Just a silly reflex. I have no control. Someone call the army.
(Siggy continues firing more shots, making no attempt to hide the fact that he's shooting now, all of which continue bouncing off Thor, as he steps toward Siggy.)
Siggy: What kind of gun is this?
(Thor kicks Siggy across the room.)

Thessby: Harmonia, will you play in the new day?
Harmonia: (comes to life) That is why I am.

Willomina: The curse is lifted. You are the first of the Robinsons to know about it, and now I know you won't be the last.
Jack Robinson: I owe you my life. But I don't know where I fit in anymore.
Willomina: Follow your heart. It will lead you. I haven't slept in 400 years. (closes her eyes and dies)

Veedus: Some years ago, we developed a hybrid, biogenetically engineered desert pea, that will grow to maturity with less than two inches of rainfall a year. And by applying the same technology to rice, soy, potatoes, and fruit, we believe we can end hunger and famine around the world.
Reporter: Excuse me! How do you plan to pay for all of this?
Veedus: Like I said before, all the resources of the company will be dedicated to this effort.
Reporter: But Robinson International is a two hundred billion dollar enterprise.
Veedus: Exactly. (Gasps of delight resound around the room.) 'Let us make the impossible, possible.' That's what Jack asked me to tell you.

Maggog: Romeo and Juliet. (looking at the flowers Jack had given Aidine)
Librarian: I only did what you asked me to do.
Maggog: You picked the wrong boy.
Librarian: I'm a Librarian not a BeanBoy.

Father: 'I'll grind your bones to make my bread' ,said the big, mean, ugly giant.
Boy: Why does the giant always have to be bad?
Father: That's how the story goes.
Boy: What if the giant was good?
Father: Well, what would that make Jack?
Boy: I don't know. You're supposed to know.
Father: Well, I guess that they wouldn't have been able to live happily every after, would they?

Ondine: (Walks up behind the bench Jack is sitting on.) Who says they cannot live happily ever after?
Jack Robinson: I'm afraid to turn around, in case you're not really there.
(Giggles and walks around to the front of the bench)
Ondine: There was something I wanted to tell you before you left.
Jack Robinson: I love you.
Ondine: Yes.
Jack Robinson: Yes?
Ondine: Yes. Thats what I wanted to tell you.
Jack Robinson: (grabs Ondine and kisses her) Three months! I thought I would go nuts without you!
Ondine: Three months for you, Six hours for me. You know, I think Maggog only gave me these just so I'd leave him alone. (pulls 2 teleport vials from her jacket pocket) Look, he gave me two extra, for our return. If you'd come with me?

Willomina: (narrating) And so, they DO live happily ever after, in this time and that time, if you believe, in the possiblity of the impossible.

External links[edit]