Jeffrey Bernard (27 May 1932 – 4 September 1997) was a British journalist who was columnist for the UK magazine The Spectator. He was notorious for a feckless and chaotic career and life of alcohol abuse. He was immortalized in a play Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell by Keith Waterhouse.
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- When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.
- Reach for the Ground: the Downhill Struggle of Jeffrey Bernard (Duckworth: London, 2002), p 159
"I could stuff a pillow with the amount of confetti I have had thrown at me. And could I sleep easily on that? No" Low Life Column 3/1/1987
"As for asking me have I ever felt remorse after drinking, I have been living with remorse for years now. She wakes me up every morning. She puts me to bed at night and yea though I run through the valley of Oxford St to the Coach & Horses she is by my side" Low Life Column 4/10/1986
"Since 1960 or thereabouts , when the Beatles and feminism came to power and destroyed the civiiisation I was rather fond of" Low Life Column 10/5/1986