Johnny Bravo

From Wikiquote

This is a list of quotes from Johnny Bravo:

[edit] Johnny Bravo

• "Wanna see me comb my hair, really fast?"
• "Hey there smart momma, typin' recipes?"
• "I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine. You're so fine you..."
• "But these letters! If Santa doesn't get these letters by tonight, I might not get all those free presents I asked for. And who ever heard of a Christmas without free stuff?"
• "Great Scott. My pizza-sense is tingling."
• "Do the Monkey with me"
• "Mmm. Frosted Sugar Bits. The great taste of frosted sugar in bits."
• "Sweet. Bring on the Danish chicks and cream soda."
• "Now remember, I do my best work when I'm being worshiped as a god."
• "Mama mia. That's a spicy meatball."
• "Hey, Santa, it's me, Johnny. Remember I'm the one that beat you up last year 'cause I thought you were a burglar?"
• "Enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"
• [eating ice cream with a toothache] "Chomp, chomp, chomp, AAAUGH! The PAIN! The Horrible PAIN! Mmmm.... Creamy! Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, AAAUGH! The PAIN! The stabbing knives of pain! Hey! It's got nuts in it!"
• "Hey! How come he gets a banana?"
• "Hey Foxy Mama, You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me? Hoohah!"
• "I am investigating the disappearance of all the cats in the city... my living room is full of cats... that means..." (pause) "I'm hungry!"
• "You know, you'd think a person with that much hate in her heart wouldn't gravitate towards the service industry."
• "Dog... donkey... Well, they both start with the letter "N"..."
• "Woah, momma."
• "Whoa! A castle in the sky! Just like in that fairy tale of Little Red Rumplestiltskin and the Three Bears and Gretel!"
• "Whaddaya mean? I got the hamster wheel and the hamster food dispenser. (looks in the mirror) Oh no! She's turnin' me into a beautiful butterfly!"
• "Mister, I don't think you realize who you're talking to. I'm Johnny Bravo, the one-man army!"
• "Wanna watch my chest hair move in 3-d?"
• "Man, I'm pretty."
• "Whoa, Mama!"
• "This won't end well." (whenever Johnny is about to take a beating)
• "You know, that just might be crazy enough to work."
• "If loving me is wrong, you don't wanna be right!"
• (Looks in mirror)"Wait, who's that handsome guy?" (Dials phone) "Hello, 911 emergency? There's a handsome guy in my house" Oh, wait, cancel that. It's only me."
• "Hey baby, can I be your natural selection?"
• "This is not good... for my hair!"
• (whenever someone corrects him) "Right, what did I say?"
• "Aaaah. The great smell of pig!"
• "No Mama! I'm too old for the tiny pants!!"
• "Work?! (Screams in horror)"
• "(After a random story) And then my pants fell down."
• "I came, I saw, I broke a hip."
• "He did it!"
• "Wiggy!"
• "4%? That's almost 5%"
• "Space. It's really, really, really, really big."
• "If all you boys and girls will clap real hard, Johnny can make bail! Get me the Lawyer Fairy!"
• "Oh yeah! Who's the fairy, who's the fairy?! (Dances then quickly stops) You didn't see that, did you?"
• "Bad baby! Stop defying the laws of physics!"
• "Neighbor kid help! Witch's curse shrank me! Cops chasing me! I live with my mom! NO MOTIVATING GOALS!!!"
• "Some people look at Jerky an say,"Why?". Me, I look at Jerky and I say "Mmmmmmmm! Jerky!"
• "Jinkies? Isn't that a breakfast cereal?"
• (After random story) "And that's when I realized my underwear was on my head, the whole time!"
• (Johnny and Carl crash on a seemingly deserted island and were separated) "Guess Carl didn't make it. Gonna miss that little guy. (short pause) Oh, well. Can't mourn forever!"
• "Four legs good! Two Legs Bad!"
• "It's a beautiful day. But not as beautiful as Me."
• "(to Talky Tabitha) Now listen Raggedy Evil! You better stop..(Talky Tabitha throws Johnny against the wall)

[edit] Pops

• "Fetch me the Fez of Forgetfulness."
• "Ehh, e-everyone stay calm... because we're all doomed!"
• "Come on, disperse, people, there's nothing to see!"
• "Everyone take your big wads of cash...I mean, places."
• "I'm sorry Carl, I can't see you now. I've got HUGE dollar signs in my eyes."

[edit] Other

• Suzy: "I hope this doesn't go on my permanent record."
• Momma: "Johnny, are you warping time and space again?"
• Gorilla: "Your mamma's so big she wore high heels and struck oil...your face is so ugly it could make onions cry."

[edit] Dialogue

(Momma has hired Donny Osmond as Johnny's babysitter))

Johnny Bravo: [revolted] Aw, Momma. You can't take him, he's not even a chick!

Donny Osmond: No.. but I'm a fast learner.

(Johnny and Donny Osmond are at a mountain, Donny's playing a guitar)

Johnny Bravo: okay, what's with the guitar?

Donny Osmond: I'm gonna teach you how to sing!

Johnny Bravo: and I'm gonna teach you how to shut up!

Donny Osmond: neat idea! it would be like a trade!

(In a parody of Green Eggs & Ham)

Suzy: "Would you eat them with a fox?"

Johnny Bravo: "If the fox were Courtney Cox. But since that is not the case, get that stuff away from my face."

Johnny Bravo: "What do you think, Rubber Ducky?"

Rubber Ducky: "Quack, quack."

Johnny Bravo: "My thoughts exactly!"

Momma: "Johnny, have you been taking good care of your teeth?"

Johnny Bravo: "Yes, Momma. I've been brushing everyday with this baking soda and peroxide." [holds up jar]

Momma: "Johnny, this isn't baking soda and peroxide, its cane sugar and molasses."

Johnny Bravo: "To-may-to, To-mah-to."

Kid: shouts "Look, Mommy! That guy's looking at pictures of almost naked men!"

[the whole store stares at Johnny]

Johnny Bravo: "This is a men's fitness magazine, I want to look like this, not at this... I've got nothin' to be ashamed of!"

[walks up to cashier ashamed, and drops change on the counter]

Johnny Bravo: "...TV Guide."

Jungle Boy: "He didn't mean to hurt anyone. Did you, Mister Johnny?"

Johnny Bravo: "Of course not, kid. I wouldn't hurt a fly."

Fly: "It's a lie. It's a lie!"

Johnny Bravo: [running] "Did you see a gorilla around here?"

Businessman: "No."

Johnny Bravo: [running and stops] "Did you see a gorilla around here?"

Hippie: "No."

Johnny Bravo: "Did you see a gorilla around here?"

Gorgeous woman: (flirtatious tone) "No."

Johnny Bravo: "Did you see a..." [pauses, looks back and runs backwards]

Old woman: "Gorilla?"

Johnny Bravo: "Hey there hot mama, you wouldn't happen to be hiding a gorilla under them clothes, would you?"

[gorgeous woman grabs Johnny by the arm and entangles him into a battered down victim with little effort]

Johnny Bravo: "Yeah. She wants me."

Johnny Bravo: [After a cooking contest] "Hey! 18th place! That's not bad!"

Suzy: "There were only 12 contestants."

Lois: "My name is Lois - a mistress of the night." [Thunder lighting]

Johnny Bravo: "My name is Johnny - a Mister of the Universe."