Judith Sheindlin
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Judith Sheindlin (born October 21, 1942) is an American lawyer, judge, TV personality and author, best known to the public as Judge Judy after her internationally popular daytime TV program of the same name. She is well-known for her sharp tongue and no-nonsense wit. Her bailiff on the show is Petri Hawkins-Byrd.
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[edit] Quotes from Judge Judy cases
[edit] Dress, stand, speak properly
- said on nearly every episode, when interrupted by a litigant: I'm speaking! [1]
- Look at my eyes. I want you to keep your eyes on my eyes. [2]
- Uncross your arms! [3]
- Tell the truth. You don't seem to be losing, but if you lie, you will. [4]
- I want you to make sure that anything you say to me is 100% fool-proof truth. Do you understand? Because just as I can wipe up the floor with these two idiots (indicates defendant and his witness), anyone who tells me a lie, I find very offensive. [5]
[edit] Being cocky
- Did you ever hear the expression, "Beauty fades, dumb is forever"? Emblazon it in front of your eyes. [6]
- Your hot temper started the problem. My temper's gonna finish it. [7]
- I'm ten steps ahead of you, sir. [8]
- Baloney!
[edit] Being authoritarian
- It's the most ridiculous thing I can think of - for two people who do not have a contract, a legally binding contract between them, like a marriage certificate, to open up a joint bank account is the dumbest thing! Listen out there, youngsters!!! [9]
[edit] Dismissing a statement or case
- She's operating in La-La Land someplace! [10]
- Can't you get this through your head? He did NOTHING WRONG! YOU did! [11]
- You are OUTRAGEOUS, madam! [12]
[edit] On sex and birth control
- You have to find something else to do with your time, constructively, rather than make children who are going to grow up with no moral compass like their mother. [13]
[edit] Being funny
- Why don't you spend more time on your studies than you do on putting on your eye makeup? It'll help you. Really, it'll help you. [14]
- You cannot waive a guarantee. Someone gave you very, very bad legal advice if they told you that you could make a guarantee here (waves a copy of defendant's newspaper ad) and then you, not the customer, could waive the guarantee. And I don't know whoever did that, but they got their legal license in Close-the-Cover-Before-You-Strike School. [15]
[edit] Being rude
- You're a big baby! [16]
- You've been living in L.A. too long. I think you should probably go live someplace else. [17]
- to a young woman being sued by a police officer for filing a vindictive complaint against him after he stopped her for speeding: He doesn't have to talk to you! You wanna talk to somebody, go to a psychiatrist! He doesn't have to talk to you! He's giving you a ticket! [18]
- You're an idiot! And a scammer! [19]
- Listen to me. I'm older, smarter. If you live to be a hundred and twenty, you're not going to be as smart as I am in one finger. You may weigh more, but you're not gonna be smarter than I am in one finger. [20]
- She doesn't like to work. She likes to make babies. [21]
[edit] Dialogue
- Defendant: (on why he assaulted the plaintiff) I don't want to allow someone to think that they could beat me up.
Judy: Just a second - I want to tell you something. Byrd could beat you up. (Audience laughs) And I want to tell you something else, Mr. Randolph. Even I could beat you up. I fight really dirty. (Audience laughs again) [22]
- Judy: (trying to explain to a defendant why she cannot waive a guarantee) If you - I buy a car - no, make it better, Byrd buys a car, because I want him to pay attention. (audience laughs) Byrd buys a car, a brand new car. That car is guaranteed from stem to stern for three years. He has the car for one week. The car blows up. He takes the car back to the dealership, and the dealership says, "We waive the guarantee for your car, because we knew when it came off the assembly line that the guy who was putting it together was really not wrapped too tight. So we waive the guarantee." What do you think he would do? (to Byrd) What would you do?
Byrd: I'd take it to Judge Judy.
(Audience laughs) [23]
