Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths

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Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths is a 2010 animated film featuring the DC Comics superhero team The Justice League. It stars Mark Harmon, Vanessa Marshall, James Woods, Chris Noth, Billy Baldwin, Gina Torres, Nolan North, Jonathan Adams, and Josh Keaton.

Dialogue[edit]

[Lex Luthor and The Jester are escaping from a Syndicate base]
Lex Luthor: What are you waiting for? Hurry!
The Jester: It's time to get serious, Lex.
Lex Luthor: No! We can make it together. We can do this!
The Jester: Get your shiny bald head out of here. It's hurting my eyes.

[The Jester is cornered by two Syndicate members]
The Jester: Okay! I'm down to my last joke anyway...
[He pulls out a small bomb and detonates it]
The Jester: (smiles) ... but this one'll kill ya!
[The building's whole floor explodes]

Wonder Woman: (regarding the Watchtower's construction) How much is all this costing, Bruce?
Batman: I don't like to think about it.

[Flash is about to be teleported to the Watchtower]
The Flash: I don't know, Batman. This is pretty radical. You're absolutely sure it works?
Batman: Pretty sure. (activates teleporter)
The Flash: Pretty sure? That isn't- (teleported to their location) -good enough!
Batman: (stealing the Flash's pretzel and eating it) Teleporter is online.
The Flash: (freaking out) Are you crazy?! (Batman walks away) Is he crazy?! How could he use that thing on me if he wasn't sure?!
Martian Manhunter: He was joking.
The Flash: Yeah? How can ya tell?
Wonder Woman: (smirking) You really think he would risk your life if he wasn't sure?
The Flash: Well, maybe... I mean, I don't think he likes me very much.
Martian Manhunter: I don't think he likes anyone very much.

[Lex Luthor has arrived at a Police Station]
Luthor: No need to make a scene. I want you to contact the Justice League for me.
Police Officer: Or else?
Luthor: (sighs) Or I'll destroy the world? (beat) Is that sufficient?

The Flash: (seeing Lex Luthor naked) And they call me the "Flash".

Model Citizen: Excuse me, could I talk to you for a minute? (she begins to hypnotize Flash) You don't want to fight me. You want to help me.
The Flash: (monotone) I don't want to fight you, I want (becomes aware again) Hey! This is like the Jedi mind trick!
Model Citizen: This is not like the Jedi mind trick.
The Flash: (monotone again) This is not like the Jedi mind trick...

[A Syndicate member tries to cut Green Lantern in half with a giant pair of scissors]:
Green Lantern: I've played this game before. (punches her with a giant rock)

[Wonder Woman is fighting Olympia (Evil Wonder Girl)]
Green Lantern: I've got her!
Wonder Woman: No. She's mine. (continues fighting Olympia in the sky and defeats her)

[Wonder Woman lands on the nose of Owlman's plane]:
Owlman: (stepping out of the cockpit) Get off my plane. (shoots her with a gun, but fails)

Lex Luthor: (inside Owlman's plane) Where is it?
The Flash: What are you looking for?
Lex Luthor: Chameleon circuit. Owlman used to drive me crazy with it.
[The Flash rushes around the cockpit and presses a button]:
The Flash: Found it. (pause) What does it do?

The Flash: Are we there yet?
Green Lantern: That wasn't funny the first fifteen times you said it either.

The Flash: How are we supposed to get in again?
Lex Luthor: Multi-frequency band encryption analyzer replicator pack.
The Flash: Some of us don't speak Star Trek.
Lex Luthor: Think of it as a fancy garage door opener.

Superwoman: You never had any intention of using the QED for blackmail. You're going to use it kill everybody.
Owlman: (utterly unfazed) What if I am?
Superwoman: Just tell me - why?
Owlman: Why not?
Superwoman: I'm serious. I'm a murdering psychopath; it's part of my charm.
Owlman: I do find it attractive.
Superwoman: But you never make a move without a reason. Why would you want to destroy the world?
Owlman: Because it's the only action one could take that would have any purpose.
Superwoman: (beat) You lost me there.
(Owlman activates a hologram that shows an image of Earth endlessly splitting into similar images)
Owlman: Every decision we make is meaningless. Because somewhere, on a parallel Earth, we have already made the opposite choice. We're nothing. Less than nothing.
Superwoman: How can you say that? We're rich! We're conquerors!
Owlman: (pointing at alternate Earths) And here we're poor. We're slaves. And here, our parents never met, so we were never born. Here, the world ended in nuclear war. Here, no fish was brave enough to crawl upon land and humans never evolved. And so on, ad infinitum.
Superwoman: So even if you destroy the world, there are a billion others, right? What difference would it make?
Owlman: Somewhere in the multiverse, there is a world I call "Earth Prime". Every Earth is a variation of this one, the original. And once I destroy it, all reality will follow. (grabs the first Earth image in his hand, causing it to vanish; the other Earths gradually follow)
Superwoman: I take it back. You're much crazier than I am.
Owlman: Don't get in my way.
Superwoman: To the contrary. (kisses him) I'm in.

[Batman arrives on Earth Prime, where he finds Owlman with the QED]
Owlman: (programming the QED's detonation) Welcome to Earth Prime. Before there was thought, there was this place. One Earth, with a single history. But with the coming of man came the illusion of free will. And with that illusion came chaos. With every choice we make, we literally create a world. History branches in two, creating one Earth where we made the choice, and a second where we didn't. That's the secret of the universe, you know. Billions of people, making billions of choices, creating infinite Earths. Some so similar to each other that you could spend a lifetime searching for any distinction. Others so radically different, they defy comprehension.
Batman: And all of the branches originate here?
Owlman: Every version of reality balances precariously on this singular Earth. (musing) It seems so different from the Earths we know. I can't imagine what series of decisions led to this world hurtling out of its orbit. But I know this; the source of the cataclysm was the same as it always is: man.
Batman: You can't be sure of that. Anything--
Owlman: (interrupting) You know better. Man is a cancer, and I've chosen to cut out the disease.
Batman: You're talking about killing--
Owlman: Everyone who ever lived. Who ever will live. I choose to make the only possible real choice.
Batman: You're insane.
Owlman: Does it really matter? There are alternate versions of me that you would find quite charming.
[They battle. Owlman kicks Batman into a rock spire]
Owlman: From what I gather, we're very much alike. Everything about you tells the tale. Your attitude, your costume, your tactics. They all scream of outrage. Despair. Vengeance. What terrible wrong was done to set you on this path? (lifts Batman by his throat, and slams him into a rock) It doesn't really matter. Nothing matters.
Batman: What are you planning to do? Talk me to death?
Owlman: (smiles) Actually, (beats Batman to the ground) I thought I'd beat you to death.
[More blows are exchanged. Owlman lifts Batman again]
Owlman: You should have sent your flying man. With his strength, he might have had a chance, but you don't trust anyone else to do what needs to be done! I feel the same way.
Batman: If we really are alike, you know this is wrong. You must have been a good man once.
Owlman: No. Not "good". Never "good". After all, I'm only human.
[Batman detonates an explosive in Owlman's face. He begins tampering with the QED's detonation]
Owlman: (grabbing him from behind) No more debate. I'm going to kill you now, then everyone else.
Batman: (choking) There is a difference between you and me.
[Batman backflips behind Owlman, kicking and tying him to the QED with a bolas]
Batman: (holding Owlman's transit device) We both looked into the abyss. But when it looked back at us, you blinked.
[He tosses the device at Owlman's feet, and it transports him and the bomb to another Earth. Owlman arrives on a frozen, lifeless Earth, as the QED reaches it's final countdown. Owlman stares at the flashing "ABORT" command.]
Owlman: (smiling and standing still) It doesn't matter.
[The QED destroys the entire planet, killing him]

Superman: Good to be back home.
(Flash takes off, but runs into Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet)
The Flash: Ow!
Wonder Woman: Watch your head.
The Flash: I can't believe you kept that thing.
Wonder Woman: Spoils of war. I like it.
The Flash: What do you need a plane for, anway? You can fly.
Green Lantern: You drive a car.
The Flash: That is so not the point!

External links[edit]