- "I've got the WWF running on Diesel Power!"
- "I'm smokin!"
- "When you’re nWo, you’re nWo for life."
- "Big Sexy in the house."
- "...Just - too - sweet!"
- "Ohhh my STOMACH HURTS!!"
- "Wolfpac in the house!"
- "The band is back together!"
- "I'm the shit, I'm telling you!" From WWF WrestleMania XII.
- "Beeeeep beeeeeep!"
- Nash: You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth: "this is where the big boys play," huh? Look at the adjective—"play". We ain't here to play. Now, he said last week that he was gonna bring somebody out here—I'm here. You still don't have your three people, and you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mein Kampf!
Bischoff: No trouble here, just speak the peace...
Nash: Yeah, no trouble 'cause you know I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where's your three guys? What, you couldn't get a paleontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared?! You ain't got enough guys off of dialysis machines to get a team?! Yeah, where's Hogan? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of Blunder in Paradise?! Where's the Macho Man, huh?! Doin' some Slim Jim commercial?! Hey, we're here. You wanna say something?
Bischoff: Look, I don't have the authority right here, right now. You want a fight? Your fight isn't with me. You want three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm gonna be in Atlanta, I'm gonna be in the offices of WCW, I'll try and get you your fight. And you know what? Live, this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys wanna show up? You want a fight? You show up, I'll see if I can get you your fight.
Nash: [to Hall] I don't know about you, but...they love us in Baltimore.
Hall: Hey, big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash, maybe these punks want a fight.
Nash: [to Bischoff] Bring what you got. The measuring stick just changed around here, buddy—you're looking at it.
- WCW Monday Nitro: June 10, 1996
In Total Nonstop Action Wrestling
- SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!
- (with a female voice while examining his pectorial muscles) They're real!
- "Size - matters!"
- "Of course I'm confident, I'm a seven foot juggernaut!"
- "Now granted, after traveling up and down the road the last ten years with Scott Hall, I've lost a couple of brain cells... my question is, what the hell happened to that sweet little rasslin' show we were doin' every Monday? I mean, where in the hell is the Dog when you need him?"
- I haven't seen a performance like that since mine in '72. Dallas Stadium. 80 man battle royal. Gauntlet. Yeah. 16 ring. Went down, it was me and the Von Erichs, there was 8 of them in the ring. I had the Claw on all 7 of them. (TNA: Director's Cut Of The Paprazzi Video From "iMPACT!")
- "Being overpaid is better than being underpaid"
- Nash: You know, it's almost a perfect fit for me. I mean, my whole career's really been about money. I really haven't cared about anybody else. Hell, I didn't care if somebody starved, I really didn't care if somebody lost the roof over the top of them. I mean, I took as much as I could. But a funny thing happened on the way to getting here—as I got older, I got wiser. You know, the Bible says that gray hair is a sign of wisdom. With wisdom came compassion. Those guys in the back that I would've took every dollar from in the past? They're my friends, they're my family, so this time...I'm gonna pass on the money. I want nothing to do with you guys...you guys wanna run this company into the ground? You can do it without me.
Sting: When I came here five years ago, I didn't come for this. This is nothing that I bargained for. I came here originally because I love TNA! Five years later, I wouldn't have sacrificed this old body as much as I have unless I loved TNA! So those are not just words—I love this place. But this, and most of all this right here [pointing to Hulk Hogan], and you too [to Ric Flair]—this is called a no-win situation and I'm not gonna repeat history once again. The answer's no.
- October 14, 2010, after being invited by Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan to join Immortal
- "The ooooold body bag. The ooooold BB. The old dead man, dead career, dead-to-dead thing. The ooold trusty corpse in a bag of plastic on canvas with a guy in it symbolizing the death of his career and the humililation that ensues upon it!"
- "Tonight, we pull something out that the wrestling fans haven't seen in...two weeks."
- "That's Osama Bin Sabin! I didn't know he was Al-Qaeda." (After revealing Chris Sabin in a body bag)
- Kevin Nash: I remember being inspired when I had my first chance for the WWF Championship... which it was called back then, the WWF Championship, not WWE... and I went out in front of 29,000 people at Madison Square Garden and defeated him (Bob Backlund) in a record 8 seconds.
Alex Shelley: Does the Garden even hold 29,000 people?
Kevin Nash: Well it did that night.
- Kevin Nash: I need to get in the head of an X-Division star.
Alex Shelley: Dissect them, huh?
Kevin Nash: I need to know what they do, what they think when they got on the top rope. What they think when they leave the top rope.
Alex Shelley: Hey, Kevin! Look who your talking to here, huh?
Kevin Nash: Exactly.
Alex Shelley: So, what we did is run some tapes from Mexico, from Japan, from Madagascar.
Kevin Nash: Madagascar?
Alex Shelley: That's right. Alright, Kevin, here we are in Mexico City. Now notice, watch him go up, there you go, thats right. He's going into the Spaceman Torisho Arm drag right there. You see the beauty? The form? How he arched his back? That's right, as he does a 360. What?! -- over the top rope! Kevin, come on, take these notes.
Kevin Nash: What is that?
Johnny Devine: Double Reverse Ninja Kick.
Kevin Nash: With an atomic arm drop. Where is this? I've never seen a two-sided ring before.
Alex Shelley: You're damn right you haven't! Because this is Madagascar. Japan, Mexico they got nothing on Madagascar, oh man.
Kevin Nash: But...are they sitting on the floor?
Johnny Devine: This guys --
Alex Shelley: That's right, because chairs are a luxury over there.
Kevin Nash: Doesn't look like there's that many people there. How many people are at this thing?
Alex Shelley: Three hundred, give or take.
Kevin Nash: Three hundred?
Alex Shelley: Best wrestlers in the world I tell ya, right here. Best wrestlers in the world. Yeah, write up, Kevin. You know what I'm going to do for you, Kevin? You know those two Madagascar wrestlers we were watching? We're going to fly them in business class.
Kevin Nash: Shut the front door!
Alex Shelley: That's right. Business class. Just so you can train with these fellas. Come on, Kevin.
Kevin Nash: I... love you.
Alex Shelley: Next week we'll do it up, huh
Alex Shelley: Hold me!
Kevin Nash: Championship...feel it.
Alex Shelley: Hold me. Not too tight.
Kevin Nash: Okay, Sorry.
- "I drove a golf ball 572 yards. Longest drive ever. I remember one time I was at Augusta, the guys were getting ready for the Masters. Tiger Woods, walking out to hit a bucket of balls. I looked at him and I said, 'Man, that's all you ever do is practice. Practice, practice, practice.' Tiger looked at me and he goes, 'Well if I had your talent, Nash, I wouldn't have to practice so much.'"
- "When you're done with me, you'll be able to buy a house in Boca for cash. I'm talking ocean on one side, intercoastal on the other."
- (mockingly nerdy voice) "Could I get your e-mail address maybe we could e-mail each other? (regular voice) Lemme ask you a question: If I don't want to talk to you, why would I want to hunt and peck and type to you? (mockingly nerdy voice) Oh, LOL, we're laughing out loud!"
- (singing) "Happy Slammiversary, baby! I got you on my..miiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!"
- Kevin Nash: Jay, have you ever actually administered... a lethal injection?
Jay Lethal: Have you ever been to Fire Island?
Kevin Nash: I actually have a summer home there. Thanks for asking.
(Nash raises his pipe to his mouth, seductively.)
- (after Senshi's inkblot test) I showed you all five of these, and every time, you say "warrior." Are you going to tell me for one second that (holding up an inkblot picture) that doesn't, to some degree, look like Jim Hellwig?
- Kevin Nash: As a child, did you ever play, I don't know, doctor?
Sonjay Dutt: A couple of times, you know, here and there.
Kevin Nash: You know, I don't know how you did it, but I know you're dirty, I know you're on steroids! You're a gashead!
Sonjay Dutt: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Kevin Nash: What's this look like?
Sonjay Dutt: What?!
Kevin Nash: Testosterone? What's this look like, huh? The Juice?
Sonjay Dutt: This is an ambush!
Kevin Nash: Barry Bonds? What?! What?! What?!
Sonjay Dutt: I gotta go.
Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash
(Samoa Joe busts into Kevin Nashes dresses room while Nash is holding a bat)
- Samoa Joe: Is that a bat!
*Kevin Nash: Yeah! I'm a business man! I don't fight for free! What? You wanna come back here and do it for free!? No, Man! You wanna go tonight!? You wanna go with Nash!? You go get Cornette to get you a check for one hundred grand and check for me for one hundred grand! I'll lace up! I'll go with you tonight! I ain't doing it for free! You know why? I ain't gettin' paid! I'm a business man. You got a lot of anger with me! It's about a bank account! I got an "s" class! I got a house on the beach! It's paid for! I got money in the bank! I got everything you want! Come On, Man! You think I screwed you!? You think I screwed you a couple days ago!?
*Samoa Joe: You did screw me!
- Kevin Nash: I didn't screw you! It was a wake up call! You're going around this place like an angry, angry, angry child! It ain't workin! It ain't workin! You need my wisdom man! You need my wisdom! Listen, it ain't gotta be this, man. I'm not that much of an asshole, man! Take a shot! (Nash hands him the baseball bat) Take a shot, I'm walkin.
*Samoa Joe: I should kill your ass, man!
*Kevin Nash: Yeah, but you won't.