Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County

Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (2004–2006), often referred to only as Laguna Beach, is a dramatic soap opera on MTV. In its first season (2004), it was a reality television series featuring affluent teenagers living in Laguna Beach, California, about 40 miles south of Los Angeles. In its second season, it retained its well-groomed, relatively untrained cast and documentary-like cinematic style, but became almost fully scripted.

The locations, the people, and the drama are real.

Season 1

A Black & White Affair... [1.1]

LC: This is where it all happened. Laguna Beach, California. A small town in the OC where I grew up. I just finished my senior year of high school, a year I’ll never forget. I’m really gonna miss my friends. Especially my best friend, Lo. No matter how crazy it got this year, I could always count on Lo. That’s Christina. She’s the reverend’s daughter. No, really, she is. There’s Morgan. Her goal is to save herself for the right guy. That’s Trey. I guess you could say he was the serious one. But he also had the best party house in Laguna. The guy on the surfboard, that’s Talan. He’s a junior and he’s hooked up with most of the girls at our school, twice. That, that would be Kristin, another junior. Wherever Kristin went drama followed. She thinks she’s hot. Okay, I guess she is, but she can’t stand me. Here’s the reason why. Stephen. I guess he’s kind of her boyfriend. But Stephen and I have been really close forever. We’re even going to college together in San Francisco. Kristin’s the wrong girl for him. I’m just waiting for him to figure it out. Oh, and me? I’m Lauren, but my friends call me LC. I’ve always been the nice girl. But this year, I realized sometimes you just have to go after what you want. And all this drama started with the black and white party.

---

Dieter: We’re going bubble bathing tonight. You wanna come?

LC: Bubble bathing?

Polster: We’re going to be putting bubble bath in Jacuzzi’s so it creates a massive amount of bubbles.

LC: Why would you do that?

Polster: Why wouldn’t you do that?

LC: Don’t you have to empty the Jacuzzi?

Polster: We’re not going to do it in my Jacuzzi.

Dieter: We’re going to like a hotel.

LC: That’s mean.

Dieter: That’s mean?

LC: Yeah.

Dieter: Well I’ll write them an "I’m sorry letter".

Polster: How considerate is that? She’s like thinking about the hotel.

Dieter: LC always thinks about the smart shit.

Polster: Remember when I used to be the smart one?

Dieter: No.

LC: [Laughs] Yeah, I don’t remember that either.

Dieter: That never happened.

---

Alex H: Do you know if Stephen has talked to Lauren like recently at all?

Kristin: Uh, they’re friends, but she’s a stuck up little brat.

Alex H: Oh, I know!

Kristin: But he’s mine. [they laugh]

Alex H: If you and Stephen had babies, they’d be so good looking. [Kristin laughs] They would.

Kristin: ‘Cause Stephen’s all tan.

Alex H: Stephen’s hot.

Kristin: Stephen’s really hot.

---

LC: I have two closets.

Stephen: Shut up.

LC: This is my clothes closet and that one's my shoes and purse closet.

---

Stephen: [to LC] Dude, this is so gnarly. It reminds me of the houses on The OC. Oh God.

---

Kristin: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m really stressed out on Stephen and Lauren because last night, he told me he was going to bed early, and today I found out he was at her house.

Talan: Do you know if they hooked up?

Kristin: He says that they didn’t.

Talan: Does that bum you? I mean, it’s kinda funny, you guys like have a relationship that’s like on and off. ‘Cause you hook up with him, he hooks up with Lauren, you hook up with him, he hooks up with Lauren, I kind of come in on the side and like grab one of you every once in a while.

Kristin: Yeah.

Talan: Gosh, our town is so small. We need another girl.

Kristin: What is that supposed to mean?

Talan: I don’t know, I’m kind of sick of hooking up with the same girl.

Kristin: You’re sick of hooking up with the same girl? Who?

Talan: You know it’s you. It’s seems like whenever I call you, you’re with Stephen, and whenever I call Lauren...

Kristin: She’s with Stephen. Either wants to go back out or stop whatever we’re doing.

Talan: So you think it’s Lauren’s fault they’re hanging out all the time?

Kristin: I think it’s both their faults. I just hate Lauren. She needs to go out of my life.

Talan: That’s a little harsh.

---

Polster: Wait, are you going with LC or are you going with Kristin?

Stephen: I don’t know. There’s like mad tension there, so I don’t know.

Polster: Can you imagine like LC and Kristin fighting over you?

Stephen: Having Lauren and Kristin fighting over you?

Polster: Yeah.

Stephen: Kristin’s like a really good girl to hook up with and have fun with. We can have like so much fun. But, coming down to the boyfriend and girlfriend stuff, Lauren would like a better girl.

Polster: Such drama.

Stephen: It is.

Trey: Could have seen you though dude.

Stephen: I know. It sucks for me because I don’t know what to do because either way I’ll be like hurting one.

Polster: It’s a tough choice man. But it’s a predicament…it’s just the way it goes.

Stephen: Exactly.

---

LC: I like getting ready. Even if you don’t really do anything.

---

Lo: I wish I had a white dress.

Morgan: I know, that’s what I wanted to wear.

Lo: I know. I have never found a cute white dress like ever. They’re all trashy.

---

[after Stephen ran over Dieter's bottle of cologne]

Dieter: If I put a baby next to your car are you going to run over it?

Stephen: Why would you put a baby next to my car?

Dieter: Why would I put cologne next to your car, dude?

---

LC: At 2:00, we’re all running down there and jumping in the water.

Stephen: Naked!?

LC: No... I'm wearing a bathing suit... YOU can go naked!

---

LC: I like how we’re all wearing black and Kristin’s wearing white. How ironic.

---

Kristin: I’m the only one that wore white. I’m different.

---

Kristin: I want to get out of here, I'm leaving!

LC: I swear if Kristin says one more time she wants to leave I'm gonna pick her up and physically remove her from the hotel!

The Bonfire [1.2]

LC: The Black and White party was supposed to be the best party of our senior year...But Kristin made sure that didn’t happen...I guess she was mad when she found out Stephen and I left Trey’s barbecue together...I’d never steal a guy away from another girl, but with those two, you never know if they’re on or not...Especially with all the guys Kristin has on the side...So for now, I’m hanging out with my best friend Lo. And doing what girls do when things aren’t going their way, shop.

---

Saleslady: So are you going out solo tonight or do you have dates?

LC: We’re always solo.

Saleslady: No ball and chain?

Lo: No. No ball and chain whatsoever.

---

Stephen: So what did you think?

Kristin: Well I mean I didn’t really do much.

Stephen: If you do again you have to promise me that you’ll actually like wanna do it. So we don’t like waste our time.

Kristin: Sorry for wasting your time Stephen.

Stephen: You didn’t waste my time, it just seemed like you were wasting your time.

Kristin: Okay, whatever. Then I don’t like it.

Stephen: You wanna go? [She nods] All right, let’s go.

Kristin: Thanks for taking me surfing.

---

Christina: I don’t know. I mean, senior year’s been so fun.

Morgan: It’s like, I’m so nervous, because like if I don’t get in, I’ve worked for this my whole entire high school.

Christina: Aren’t you so excited to open it?

Morgan: I’m so nervous Christina, you know?

Christina: Yeah.

Morgan: This is my only choice school. It’s the only school I applied to. Like if I don’t get in, then I’m still gonna go up there. I’m still gonna be a part of the scene because I’m not staying here. That’s for sure.

Christina: Yeah.

Morgan: I’m getting out of the bubble. Like I wanna be around those people, I wanna be around people with the same standards and I wanna get out of this party scene and stupid kids screwing up on their parent’s money.

Christina: Okay, open it.

Morgan: Okay, ready?

Christina: Just do it.

Morgan: “Dear Morgan, thank you for selecting Brigham Young University for your undergraduate education. Your application has been carefully + thoughtfully reviewed. Because of the high number of competitive students applying to BYU, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admissions”.

Christina: Oh no.

Morgan: What am I supposed to do now?

Christina: It’s okay. Give me a hug. Come here. It’s okay.

Morgan: I’m not staying here. I’m not gonna stay in Laguna Beach, you know?

Christina: I know exactly how you feel.

Morgan: This sucks. This totally sucks.

---

Jessica: This is gonna be an adventure for me. Do you think Stephen could be in a jealous rage again?

Kristin: With Stephen, you never know.

---

Dieter: Feta cheese? [Kristin laughs] Feta cheese?

Kristin: I told you, they don’t even know what it is. Feta it’s...

Dieter: You know what this is? It’s like goat.

Kristin: [laughs] Told you. You guys, just get out. You don’t even know like anything about cooking. Just get out.

Dieter: Hey. I’ll have my pasta without feta cheese please.

Kristin: It doesn’t go on the pasta, dumbass.

Dieter: Hey Stephen.

Stephen: Yeah?

Dieter: Wanna go to Jack In The Box?

Kristin: Shut up. You guys are so mean.

---

LC: So we’ll make an entrance and then we’ll just leave early.

Lo: Okay. Can we stay for like 10 minutes?

LC: No, we can stay for at least a half an hour. Personally I would like to support Trey because I think what he’s doing is really cool.

Lo: I really like the idea of AYA, the Active Young America thing.

LC: Me too.

Lo: I think it’s cool. I will give them money because I think it’s cool.

LC: So you’ll give them money, but you won’t give them like an hour of your time?

Lo: Well I just don’t like the whole like hippie, lets play guitar and sing soul songs.

---

Kristin: I hate Stephen. No. Anytime I’m not like all over him, he freaks out and doesn’t know how to act or anything. It pisses me off.

---

Kristin: Last night with Stephen was really, really weird.

Morgan S: Why?

Kristin: It wasn’t so weird, it was just like, I don’t know.

Morgan S: What did you cook for them last night?

Kristin: [laughs] Um, like bow tie pasta with chicken and Alfredo sauce. It tasted like feet.

---

JD: A lot of fun, juggling these two girls around?

Stephen: No, I’m not juggling two girls around.

JD: Okay.

Stephen: Me and Lauren, it’s interesting and at the same time it’s kinda weird. It’s not like it’s complicated as with me and Kristin, so...

JD: Predicament.

Stephen: Yup.

---

Lo: [unable to find cell service] Doesn’t my fucking phone know I need to make a phone call?

---

Stephen: I wanna get the hell out of here so bad. I wish it was August 25 right now. My first day of school. We’re gonna have so much fun at school.

LC: I wanna go right now. I just wanna leave.

Stephen: I wanna leave so bad. I’m not trying to bring anything up, but there’s so many things I wish I could take back and just like not have happened.

LC: Like what?

Stephen: Like I don’t regret that we ever hooked up or anything like that, we became better friends from that, but like I regret the situation I got put into.

LC: For a really long time, I did regret everything. I mean, it was like fun while it lasted. But it just almost wasn’t worth it because of all the shit we went through.

Stephen: It’s so standard. I learned a lot though. Like I’m glad I went through it, like the one time.

LC: Don’t lie to two girls that are gonna end up, you know having the same friends.

Stephen: I am trying. What do you suggest I do to have fun?

LC: Stephen, if you wanted someone, you could have them. Yeah you could.

Fast Cars and Fast Women... [1.3]

Kristin: [in her car after smoke starts coming out the hood] It's gonna explode!

Alex H.: I wanna get out. I wanna get out. Im really scared right now!

---

Alex H.: Notice every person that honks is driving a nice car.

Kristin: BMW, Mercedes, fucking Range Rovers. Yeah!

---

Alex H.: It's fate telling you, you need to get a new car.

Kristin: Exactly! I'm gonna be like Dad: You're Buddhist, you believe in that.

---

Jen: How far away are you and Stephen from each other?

LC: Like 5 minutes.

Lo: Really? I think you guys are going to get married.

Jen: Uhm.

LC: We're gonna be best friends.

Jen: That stuff happens, though, you're gonna like...

LC: I don't wanna marry Stephen. [laughs] I don't want to be anything more than Stephen's best friend!

Jen: You would have pretty babies, your babies will be like the popular people at school.

[They laugh]

LC: Sweet, Jen!

---

Alex H,: [While looking at new cars with Kristin] They're staring at you like BUY ME!! BUY ME!!

---

Kristin: My car is dunzo!!

18 Candles... [1.4]

LC: We're on the "I forgot you" list for Christina's 18th birthday.

---

LC: This is you ruining my senior year!

LC's mom: Why are we ruining it when you are the one who brought in those grades?

---

LC: Daddy, Lo thinks I should not be grounded.

Lo: I think Lauren should not be grounded.

LC's dad: I'm listening to your arguments.

Lo: Well Jim, I think is second semester senior year, LC is a wonderful person... I don't think that her grades reflect on her as a person... I don't think that she is a bad kid... Jim PLEASE JUST LET HER COME OUT WITH ME!!!

---

Christina: You're still going to that Fashion School, right Lauren?

LC: It's an Art School...

Christina: Art School, Fashion School whatever.

---

LC: I like your earrings Christina.

Lo: Were they a birthday gift?

Christina: Yeah! Gary gave them to me, with a matching green shirt.

Lo: Of course, a matching green shirt.

What Happens in Cabo [1.5]

Trey: You're saying that you're not going to hook up with LC in Cabo?

Stephen: There's no way I'm going to hook up with LC!

---

Lo: So you never hooked up with Stephen?

LC: Lo!!!

Lo: Yes?... it´s just gonna be your little secret?

LC: It´ll be my little secret... [sighs]...what happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo..... there are a few things that aren´t definitely staying in Cabo.

---

Jen: [about Kristin and Stephen] I came to Cabo to get away from everything... all the drama...

LC: It followed us.

Jen: It follows us everywhere!

---

Jen: [Trying to cross the street] Lauren you have to wait for the light!

LC: [already in the middle of the street] Look they stop.

---

Stephen: [to Kristin] Why don't you get up and dance on the pole again? You looked good up there, slut!

The Best Part of Breaking up... [1.6]

Lo: Oh, I see smoke poofs!

LC: You see them?

Lo: Smoke poofs! Does that mean people are blazing?

LC: Those aren't cigarette poofs.

Lo: Those definitely aren't cigarette poofs...

---

Dora: How many models do we have total?

Trey: Well we have eight with me, seven with Jessica, we have supposedly eight with Tanner. So we have both sixteen plus seven is...a lot.

---

Lo: Kristin hates us!

LC: No, Kristin hates me, but it's ok.

---

Lo: When are we going to go to Newport and find boys?

LC: Saturday hopefully, there´s none in here...we´ve used them all up.

The Last Dance [1.7]

LC: [while shopping] Do you like this?

Lo: Don't you have that?

LC: I don't have the yellow.

Lo: What color do you have it in?

LC: Like light blue, dark blue, black, green, orange.

---

Lindy: What do you think the boys are plannig for tonight?

LC: They're planning on going to the dance for like half an hour and then going straight to the after party and gettin' some. And we're all planning on showing off our dresses.

---

Kristin's Dad: Light on the dress, heavy on the make up.

---

Lo: Morgan has like my dress ...same pattern...it's the same pattern! She's a whore!

Grin and Bear it [1.8]

[[w:Kristin Cavallari|Kristin: [about Christina and her dad's church] What President went to it? Maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger, I don't know what am talking about. I guess Mother Teresa's been there and all these gnarly people.

Alex H.: Mother Teresa?

Kristin: I don't know, it's huge I guess.

---

Dieter: [about camping] We'll get faded and let the girls cook...

Stephen: I don't wanna get food poisoning man!

---

Kristin: [after Stephen tries to scare everyone dressed as a bear] Oh, my gosh, Stephen, that was so lame. You didn't even look like a bear.

---

Morgan: [after seeing the yacht] I’m gonna sleep on this thing. Screw the tent!

Kristin: Yeah, screw camping. Let’s sleep on this thing!

---

LC: I can't believe that you're not coming...you were like my supporter. I was like, "Lo can't camp as much as I can't camp".

Lo: I know, we were going to be the lame campers together...be like "Ahh! a bug! get it out!"

---

Lo: [To LC, on the phone] You're eating hot dogs and I'm eating sushi... Yes ma'am!!

---

LC: Kristin's voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

---

Lo: You want a piece of gum?

Mike: Yeah, you want to split it with me? I only like half pieces of gum.

Lo: Your mouth is big enough.

Mike: Your mouth is obviously big enough.

Graduation Day [1.9]

Kristin: Lauren thinks she's really cool, but she's a bitch!

---

Lo: How do I look?

Lo's Dad: You look like you're ready to go to Santa Barbara.

---

Lo's Mom: Really, it's not a fashion show tonight.

Lo: It's always a fashion show mom, always.

---

Lo's Dad: Lo, can you come out and give me a hand with some groceries, please?

Lo: [Laughs after seeing a new Jetta parked in front of her house] Daddy, is that mine?

Lo's Dad: Well if you're the graduate it is.

Lo: [laughing] Really?... Thank you sooo much!

Lo's Brother: I graduated too!

Lo's Dad: Uhhh, we'll get you a skateboard, bud.

Lo's Brother: I already got one.

Lo: There's even a bow on it!

Lo's Dad: I wrapped it myself, sweetie!

The First To Go [1.10]

LC: She basically got mean senior year.

Lo: I didn’t get mean you whorebag!

Talan: Whoa!

Lo: Maybe a little mean.

LC: Just listen to what you just said!

---

Morgan: Where do we think well be in ten years?

Christina: You'll be married and living probably back here.

Morgan: Aww how boring!

Lo: Lauren in ten years is going to be driving her big super Mercedes and living at her beach house with her billionaire husband

Christina: With her really hot husband.

LC: YES!! I like you guys!

---

Lo: So Talan, do you have girls in your jacuzzi frequently?

Talan: No. Actually, you guys are the first.

---

Talan: Would you ever have a threesome?

LC: Oh my god! - No... that's disgusting!

Talan: Two guys?

LC: NO!

Talan: Three girls?

LC: NO!

Talan: Two girls?

LC: NOO!!

---

Christina: Guys, I think we should do a little toast.

Lo: A toast, to what?

LC: To the end of one chapter of our lives and the beginning of another.

Dunzo [1.11]

Lo: Ah! What is this? What is this?

Stephen: That's hot dogs and stuff.

Lo: Can you make one because I don't know how?

Stephen: Just put it on the fire.

Lo: But I don't know how. Help me.

Stephen: You high maintenance little bitch!

Lo: Please help me.

Stephen: Some poor man is gonna marry you someday.

Lo: My husband will love me for who I am.

---

LC: [to Lo, while smiling] This is a really sad face because I'm leaving you.

---

Jen: I guarantee 20 minutes later Lo is gonna pop back up

LC: She has tried to leave like 6 times already.

Lo: I'm back again.

Lo: Are you taking your Goachi bag to school?

LC: No, your Louis Vuitton is fake so don't get me started on fake designer's purses.

Lo: This is a slash between Gucci and Coach.

---

Jen: Do you know how much clothes three months is?

LC: Have you heard of a washing machine Jen? Have you ever done laundry?

Jen: I've thrown stuff in, I've never done like a load with colors and stuff.

Kaitlyn: And you're 18?

---

Morgan: I've been so excited and preoccupied, I'm forgetting what I leave behind.

Christina: You sure are. You are not going to meet anyone like me, Morgan.

Morgan: I know. Who's gonna replace you?

Christina: Well NO ONE!

---

Kristin: What are we? Broken up or just like taking a break? Putting it on hold?

Stephen: We're just together with an "open relationship".

Kristin: OK, but don't be open a lot.

---

Kristin: Are you going to miss anyone?

Stephen: Yes..all my friends.

---

Stephen: This is going to be my last sunset in Laguna for a while.

Season 2

Since You Been Gone [2.1]

Jessica: Alex, make me stop lusting Jason!

Alex H: If you're aware of the fact that you're, like, obsessed with him, then why don't you, like, stop it?

It's Hard to Say Goodbye [2.3]

Kristin: I love Stephen, but i want to date others. [laughs]

Alex H: You're such a player, Kristin!

Kristin: I know.

[both laugh]

More Than Friends [2.4]

"I don't want to crash and burn, Taylor." -Talan.

Boys Are Like Purses [2.13]

LC: Boys are like purses. You’re always going to have that one boy that you’re always comfortable with and you’ll always kind of like, right? That’s your purse that you wear everywhere. Then you have that gorgeous bag you want everyone to see you with. But the gorgeous bag is usually an asshole... or costs a lot of money. Then you have like those other purses that you really like but don’t really want to be seen with.

Season 3

It's, Like, Break-Up Season [3.10]

Kyndra: (To Camy, shopping) It's like break-up season oh my god that's really cute (a dress)!

External links

• Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County quotes at the Internet Movie Database