Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

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Lois and Clark (1993-1997) was a live-action television series about the adventures of Superman with a focus on the lives of Lois Lane and Clark Kent.

Contents

[edit] Season One

[edit] Pilot (1)

Lucy: I just hate to see you sitting at home.
Lois: I get out plenty. I have dates.
Lucy: You have interviews. It's not the same thing. Lois, I just want you to meet a super guy.
Lois: Kent is a hack from Smallville. I couldn't make that name up.
Perry: Kent or nobody.
Lois: Fine. Don't ever say that I'm not a team player.

[edit] Pilot (2)

[edit] Strange Visitor

Cop: Either the machine is broken again, or this reporter is so mild-mannered, he hasn't got a pulse!
Cat: Chief, it is horrible the way they're treating us. See that agent over there? He frisked me . . . twice!
Lois: Clark, you can do the horizontal rhumba with the entire Met-Net cheerleading squad for all I care, just keep your hands off my copy.
Clark: Look, somehow everybody thinks that we were hanging from the chandeliers wearing black leather the other night.
Cat: Ummm. Well, we were interrupted.
Lois: You are so weird. Works for you though.
Perry: Lois, Lois, what happened?
Lois: Before or after we were thrown out of the plane?
Perry: Air - airplane?

[edit] Neverending Battle

Clark: Nine hundred and fifty?
Landlord: You want cheap, go back to Iowa.
Clark: Kansas.
Landlord: Quietest building in Metropolis. You married?
Clark: No.
Landlord: Girlfriend?
Clark: No.
Landlord: Boyfriend?

[edit] I'm Looking Through You

Alan Morris/The Invisible Man: It's very simple, Ms. Lane. I became invisible... to become visible again.
Clark Kent: (to Lois) Superman? On TV? I don't think so.
Superman: You don't need to bid for my attention, Lois.
Lois: You saw me there? I didn't think you noticed. I thought I was just another face in the crowd.
Superman: You will always be special to me, Lois.
Lois: I will?
Superman: You're the first woman who ever . . . interviewed me.

[edit] Requiem for a Superhero

Lois: Partners?
Perry: You and Kent. The experience of the battle-scarred veteran paired with the hunger of the exciting, fresh talent.
Lois: I am not that scarred, and he is not that exciting.

[edit] I've Got a Crush on You

Lois: You rotten back-stabbing piece of slime! You know some people might be fooled by that innocent boyish exterior but not me, not anymore.
Clark: Tea, Lois? It's a calming, herbal blend.
Lois: You could've said that we were sharing some fleeting moment of passion, but no you couldn't think of that could you!
Clark: Well, I'll remember that the next time we're in a closet together.
Lois: He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?
Perry:(To Clark) If you went up there to those windows and told me you could fly, I'd back you up. I'd miss you, but I'd back you up.

[edit] Smart Kids

Lois: Seems to me if your real parents don't care enough to raise you why give it a second thought?
Clark: Because if they gave you away they must have had a reason, and it's that not knowing that kills you.
Lois: Good . . . you stick to the touchy feely stuff and I'll concentrate on Superman.
Lois: I've seen that pig before.
Amy: Of course it's a pig. Haven't you ever seen a pig before? Not very smart is she?
Lois: You took advantage of our priviledged interview session to steal highly incriminating evidence from an unsuspecting subject. Oh! I love that! Mmmm!
Lois: Three more people are claiming to be the President's brother.
Perry: Boy, his father was a busy man.

[edit] The Green, Green Glow of Home

Lois:(On Clark's father) Betcha he's a crossdresser!
Clark: I don't know, Mom. Lois thinks he may be a cross-dresser.
Martha: Oh, honey! That's Clark's father. He won't buy 'me' a dress, let alone one for himself.

[edit] The Man of Steal Bars

Clark: I just wanted to say goodbye.
Lois: Goodbye?! We're partners.
Clark: You don't need a partner Lois, you never did.
Lois: Well, maybe not, but I was starting to like having one.
Clark: That's not how you spell 'aquifer.'
Lois: Easy Kent, you CAN be replaced . . . I was already starting to look.
Lois: Did you really think I hadn't figured out what it with you and Superman?
Clark: What do you mean?
Lois: You idolize the man.
Jonathan: Well, then, where are you gonna go?
Clark: I don't know yet. Just away from the people that I love the most.

[edit] Pheromone, My Lovely

Perry: What do you wanna lead off on, the counter-revolution in Russia?
Clark: I believe that's a counter-counter-revolution chief.
Perry: Well, who can keep track these days.
Lois: Did I really do the dance of the seven veils?
Clark: All seven of them!
Clark: I guess I'm not attracted to you.
Lois: Liar, you are so attracted to me!
Lois: Clark . . . whatcha workin' on?
Lois: Lex wasn't quite himself last night.
Clark: Well that must have been a welcome change.
Clark: Haven’t you ever played hooky before, Lois?
Jimmy: The name’s Olsen, James Olsen.
Jimmy: You like what you see, I like what I see, so shall we say cocktails? Tomorrow? Your place?
Clark: Lois! Please! Get a grip!
Lois: Believe me, I’d love to!

[edit] Honeymoon in Metropolis

Clark: There's no such word as chumpy.
Lois: Sure there is. Someone's a chump, therefore he's chumpy!
Clark: Try again.
Lois: Are you challenging me?
Clark: You bet your sweet little chumpy I am!
Perry: Okay you guys . . .
Lois: Guys?
Perry: You and Clark.
Lois: Did you say Clark?
Clark: I heard him say Clark.
Jimmy: Definitely Clark.
Cat: Definitely.
Clark: We flip for the bed.
Lois: How about I get the bed, I lend you a pillow?
Clark: How about we alternate nights?
Lois: How about we don’t.
Clark: Well, it’s a big bed, how about we share?
Lois: How about we alternate nights?
Clark: Deal.
Jonathan: Well, uh . . . Clark, is there anything you’d like to tell us?
Clark: Not really, things are going pretty smoothly, assuming Lois keeps her end of the bargin and lets me have my turn in the bedroom tonight.

[edit] All Shook Up

[edit] Witness

[edit] Illusions of Grandeur

[edit] The Ides of Metropolis

[edit] Foundling

[edit] The Rival

[edit] Vatman

[edit] Fly Hard

[edit] Barbarians at the Planet

[edit] The House of Luthor

[edit] Season Two

[edit] Madame Ex

Lois: A lot of people have tried to get me on a couch and after all this time, I don't think I'm going to start with a psychiatrist.
Lois: You still think I'm crazy?
Clark: I think you're brilliant. But there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.

[edit] Wall of Sound

[edit] The Source

[edit] The Prankster

[edit] Church of Metropolis

[edit] Operation Blackout

[edit] That Old Gang of Mine

[edit] A Bolt from the Blue

[edit] Season's Greedings

[edit] Metallo

[edit] Chi of Steel

[edit] The Eyes Have It

[edit] The Phoenix

[edit] Top Copy

[edit] Return of the Prankster

[edit] Lucky Leon

[edit] Resurrection

[edit] Tempus Fugitive

Tempus: Hello. Duh! Clark Kent is Superman!
Clark: Superman is what I can do. Clark is who I am.

[edit] Target: Jimmy Olsen!

[edit] Individual Responsibility

[edit] Whine, Whine, Whine

Lois Lane: He doesn't love you, Elise. You can tell when a man loves you by the way he treats you, by the way he looks at you, by the way...
Elise Carr: Look, Ms. Lane, if you've found the perfect man, then I'm happy for you.
Lois Lane: No, he's about as far from perfect as you get, but I'll tell you the difference between him and Calvin. I know that he wants my happiness more than his own.

[edit] And the Answer Is...

[edit] Season Three

[edit] ...We Have a Lot to Talk About

[edit] Ordinary People

[edit] Contact

[edit] When Irish Eyes Are Killing

[edit] Just Say Noah

[edit] Don't Tug on Superman's Cape

[edit] Ultra Woman

[edit] Chip Off the Old Clark

[edit] Super Mann

[edit] Virtually Destroyed

[edit] Home is Where the Hurt Is

[edit] Never on Sunday

[edit] The Dad Who Came in from the Cold

[edit] Tempus Anyone?

[edit] I Now Pronounce You.....

[edit] Double Jeopardy

[edit] Seconds

[edit] Forget Me Not

[edit] Oedipus Wrecks

[edit] It's a Small World After All

[edit] Through a Glass, Darkly

[edit] Big Girls Don't Fly

[edit] Season Four

[edit] Lord of the Flys

[edit] Battleground Earth

[edit] Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding

[edit] Soul Mates

Tempus: Don't tell me that's what the Saxons are wearing these days.

[edit] Brutal Youth

[edit] The People vs. Lois Lane

[edit] Dead Lois Walking

[edit] Bob and Carol and Lois and Clark

[edit] Ghosts

[edit] Stop the Presses

[edit] 'Twas the Night Before Mxymas

[edit] Lethal Weapon

[edit] Sex, Lies and Videotape

[edit] Meet John Doe

Barrett: Lets go over it one more time...
Tempus: Can we move this along, I'm breaking out this morning.
Barrett: Yes. You believe that a peace keeper from the future will arrive on this date to...
Tempus: Extradite me back to the future to face punishment for the crimes committed in various time zones.
Barrett: So I gather that you still believe you're from the future.
Tempus: Duh.
Barrett: Mr. Tempus, assuming that this is all true, why would you admit it to me.
Tempus: Because you are, in a word, "loony tunes."
Barrett: Loony tunes is two words.
Security Guard (Malcolm): Hey, this area is restricted.
Tempus: As well it should be. Do you realize that this satellite relay station is up linked to every long distance carrier in the country?
Tempus: Malcolm, you will go to the window. At exactly twelve-noon you will be overcome with the irresistible urge to take a flying leap out of that window.
Malcolm: Gotta go. Gonna jump to my death soon. Buh-bye.
Lane: Well, this year alone I have been shot at, strapped to explosives, and electrocuted. If anyone needs a will made out, its me.
Tempus: Attention all registered voters, John Doe is a darn nice guy.
White: I want an exclusive on this. I wanna find out what makes this man tick, what he stands for, and most of all, why is he such a darn nice guy.
Tempus: The Amish are not your friends. They are anti John Doe. Boycott their quilts, they're overpriced and the workmanship is shoddy anyway. Oh, and John Doe is a darn nice guy.
Lane: I know two things right now, Tempus is evil and has to be stopped and John Doe is a darn nice guy.
Lane: Mr. President, we have reason to believe that John Doe is...
The President: ... a darn nice guy. I can't disagree. Hell, even I voted for him.

[edit] Lois and Clarks

[edit] AKA Superman

(Clark stops, realising something.)
Lois: There's a crisis. What is it? Bank robbery? Terrorist strike? Meteor headed for Earth?
Clark: Ribbon cutting.
Lois: Sorry?
__________________
Clark: Sorry I'm late.
Lois: Golf, huh?
Clark: Yeah... it was charity game, Lois. Superman could hardly say 'no.'
Lois: Doesn't seem to be in his vocabulary.
__________________
Paladin: Captain McBride was to take an outmoded weather satellite out of service. With six thousand manmade objects floating around out there, it's pretty crowded.
Clark: (to himself) Tell me about it.

[edit] Faster Than A Speeding Vixen

[edit] Shadow of A Doubt

[edit] Voice From The Past

[edit] I've Got You Under My Skin

[edit] Toy Story

[edit] The Family Hour

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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