Louis CK

Louis Szekely, known professionally as Louis C.K. (born September 12, 1967) is an American stand-up comedian, who has been active since 1985.

Sourced

• I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase, you know, something like 'Ladies and Gentlemen'. That'll be a cool name for a kid. "This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen"... Then when he gets out of hand I get to go "Ladies and Gentlemen, please!"
  • http://youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

• They charged me 15 dollars. That's how much it costs to only have 20 dollars.
  • http://youtube.com/watch?v=rpaCQKJpE9k
  • On being broke.

Chewed Up

• How many advantages can one person have? I'm a white man!
• I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
• Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed... into my mouth.
• A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't fuck with who you are. Women are non-violent but they will shit inside of your heart.
• The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself.
• I'm buying a Cinnabon...at the airport...I arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right?. Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from you can say "Oh, I gotta eat. I need some food, because I might be trapped in the sky forever so I should eat right now." But I've landed. The trip is over. I'm 20 minutes from my house where I got bananas and apples and shit. And I'm sitting on my luggage just fuckin eating a Cinnabon with a fork and knife."
• ‎When girls go wild they show their tits to people. when women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Louie

• Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go "ugh...."

External links

• www.louisck.net