MADtv

Characters

Miss Swan

• Miss Swann: "He looka like a man."
• Miss Swann: "Oh yeah man someone want to die tonigh' an his name I'... uhh... whas you name?"
• Miss Swann: "I'm Bunny Swann. You know, Bunny the vampire slayoh."

Stuart

• Stuart: "People who talk dirty, grow up to be democrats"

• Stuart: "Let me do it."

• Stuart: "Vain little boys often grow up to be homosexuals."

• Stuart: "I don't want to say it."

• Stuart: "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"

• Stuart: "Mommy says smoking's for Europeans and white trash."

• Stuart: "Mommy says those who are whispering are either sneaky or homosexual."

• Stuart: "Mommy says dont talk to stangers except lesbians because they take good care of their cats and have a 'go getter' attitude."

• Stuart: "I dun wanna!"

• Stuart: "God put a patch of praising where you're goo-goo should be!"

• Stuart: (Being shown pictures in therapy) "Dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother, dead mother...nice mother."

• Stuart: "NO SNEAKERS, BOOTS!"

• Stuart: *whining* "NOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOON'T!"

Dot

• "This hand is so little, and this hand is so big!"

• "Are you crazy! Gloves come in twos, Jesus said so!"

• "With Jesus and Black magic on my side you couldn't have gone far!"

• "I got the sissors stuck in my hair"

• "Look at this barbie shes a mexican, shes a latino!"

Tank

• "Take a step into my Daewoo"

• "Name's Tank!"

• "What's your name baby babe?"

Keegan-Michael Key's Characters

• "It was pandemonium 2004! It was crazy! It was crazy! Crazy as hell! It was crazy as hell!"

• "That's taking it to a whole....'notha.....level"

• "YAMINASHI!! If you move, I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I will turn you CAUCASIAN!!"

• "I swear this piece of chalk is goin' up your nose, and out your finger, and that's IMPOSSIBLE!"

Mrs.Larken

• Stuart! get over here!

• "Now what does mama say about liars?"

• "Now what does mama say about vain little boys?"

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