The Magic Christian (film)
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The Magic Christian is a 1969 British comedy film directed by Joseph McGrath and starring Peter Sellers and Ringo Starr, with noteworthy appearances by John Cleese, Raquel Welch, Christopher Lee, Richard Attenborough and Roman Polański.
[edit] Quotes
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- Guy: [voiceover, as a $10 note appears onscreen] Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations — like people. We'll be using quite a bit of it in the next two hours... luckily, I have enough for ALL of us.
- Hamlet: [Laurence Harvey, onstage] "To be..."
- Youngman: [loud enough to be heard, turning to Sir Guy] I've seen it.
- Hamlet: "Or not to be... that is the question."
- Youngman: Shakespeare, right?
- Guy: [whispers, eyes toward the stage] Right, and double right.
- Ginger: Ah! My Second World War Nazi atrocity book came at last. [turns to Youngman, dog in her lap, and browses the book]
- Ginger: Do you know what Bitsy and I do? We sit down and imagine all those atrocities being done to sex criminals. - Yes, sex criminals and the like. And that Dr. Thorndike!
- Guy: [overhearing] What's that, Ginge? Bill Thorndike a sexy criminal?
- Ginger: The man you sent me to. He behaved VERY strangely.
- Youngman: You're certainly putting everybody on today, Dad.
- Guy: Well, you know, Youngman. Sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.
- Youngman: Cause for pause?
- Guy: Yes.
- Youngman: Dad, do you think words corrupt?
- Guy: I don't know, let's try. Agnes?
- Agnes: [looks up from the television] Yes?
- Guy: Nipple.
- Agnes: Shh! [turns back to the television]
- Guy: [watches her for a moment] Well, there's no immediate physical change.
- Traffic warden #27: What's your game, Mister?
- Guy: [riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket] Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?
- Guy: [as he and Youngman admire a painting] I like school of Rembrandt.
- Youngman: St. Rembrandt's High.
- John: [Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race] It would never have happened in my day!
- Guy: Nor mine!
- Youngman: Well, it's happening in mine!
- Herbert: [pleads with Laurence, the ship's doctor] If you could please just give me some tranquilizers...
- Laurence: Escape into drugs? Mask your fears in an artificial fog? Oh, surely you can't be serious.
- Herbert: Oh, well... give me some decent English asprin!
- Laurence: [pulls out a lit marijuana joint] Here, Sir Herb. Try this. It's just what the doctor ordered.
- Herbert: What is it?
- Laurence: It's cannabis, Sir Herb. [Herbert inhales, then chokes]
- Laurence: It'll tighten your wig.
- Esther: [as all hell breaks loose, aboard the Magic Christian] Youngman, what IS going on?
- Youngman: [innocently] Ship's concert, I shouldn't wonder.
- Guy: [on being told a Rembrandt might fetch $10,000 at auction] In that case, my final offer is 30.
- Mr. Dougdale: [stunned] Thirty - thousand - pounds? Shit! I beg your pardon, I do beg your pardon.
- Announcer on 'Magic Christian': [as the 'Magic Christian' starts to sink] Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to C-Deck immediately!
- Guy: [a police car drives up to Grand's car] Could be routine, or... mere damnable harassment.
- Guy: [Lawrence Harvey performs a strip tease while playing Hamlet] This chap's taking license in my view?
