Maxxie Oliver

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Maxxie Oliver is a fictional character from the teen drama Skins.


Season 1[edit]

Tony[edit]

Maxxie: I've gotta get these moves ready. Y'know, for the show
Tony: Do they have tap dancing in Death of a Salesman?
Maxxie: It needs a number. I've always said that.

Jal[edit]

[All the guys at the table are staring at Jal's breasts]

Jal Fazer: [to Maxxie] You're gay!
Maxxie Oliver: Yeah... I mean, yeah.

Sid[edit]

[Maxxie's wearing devil horns]

Cassie: Wow, Maxxie, you look all horny.
Maxxie: You can tell?

Chris Miles: Yo! Last night, man. Cool. Total blast. Everything you could ever want from an evening. Songs, choirgirls, colourful costumes, fellatio... Rabbits...
Maxxie: Rabbits?
Chris Miles: Don't ask, man.

Maxxie: Go on. Give her one. That would be so bad.
Anwar: I bet she bangs like a ferret on acid.

Maxxie and Anwar[edit]

Tony: What happened?
Maxxie: Anwar's just switched about me being... y'know
Tony: Blonde?
Maxxie: No!
Tony: Short?
Maxxie: Gay!
Tony: [pause] Shall I give you head?
Maxxie: What?
Tony: [grins] Cheer you up
Maxxie: For fuck's sake! You're supposed to be my friend Tony and I come in here with a problem, okay?

[Tony kisses Maxxie]

Maxxie: You fuck
Tony: We're in Russia! I wanna try something new
Maxxie: I'm, not a hobby Tony. You're not taking up canoeing here
Tony: I've been canoeing
Maxxie: What about Michelle?
Tony: Loves canoeing

Sid Jenkins: All right, Maxx?
Maxxie: No.
Tony: Why?
Maxxie: Well, Anwar's decided to become a Muslim.
Sid Jenkins: What, like, more Muslim than he was already?
Maxxie: A bit more Muslim, yeah.

[after Tony goes down on Maxxie]

Maxxie: Tony... we finally found something you're not actually good at.
Tony: What?
Maxxie: Good night, Tony. I'll find somewhere else to sleep.
Tony: What?

Anwar: You tried to save my life.
Maxxie: Well I am fuckin' drunk.

Maxxie: What the fuck?
Anwar: What?
Maxxie: Bad mood comfy jim jams?
Anwar: What? You try living with a 45 year old Pakistani woman.

Maxxie: It's religion Anwar. It's just stuff. You don't have to believe in it.
Anwar: But where does that leave me? I'm a Muslim boy. I don't get to choose.
Maxxie: But where does that leave us?

Michelle[edit]

Maxxie: I got off with Tony on the Russia trip. I only did it because I fell out with Anwar when he said he hated gays. So I got upset and Tony said he'd give me head to cheer me up, you know... and I didn't mean anything but... I lost my head, and then he gave me head. And then we got deported from Russia. And I'm really really sorry for being a slut, ok?

Maxxie: Michelle?
Michelle: Go away.
Maxxie: I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. He just... It meant nothing. Please don't tell anyone they'll think I'm...
Michelle: Think what Maxx? That you're a dirty little slut who fucks around with other peoples boyfriends?
Maxxie: I'm sorry.
Michelle: Go away.

Season 2[edit]

Tony and Maxxie[edit]

[The boys watching, surprised, at Jal and a man grind dancing]
Anwar: Well fuck me senseless!
Chris Miles: Whoaaa!

[pause... ]

Maxxie: Yeah... He's hot!

Everyone[edit]

Maxxie Oliver: Fuck the future dude. Come to London, have a laugh.